Sweat dropped viscously from my forehead and plummeted to the floor below. The noise was infuriating against the stone in the otherwise vacant space. Time had slipped by unnoticed as I carved away into the impenetrable wall before me. Fury pumped through my veins as my progress dwindled with the pain of broken nails and blood seeping from the wounds.
“Fuck!” I screamed into the darkness and echoed back in nearly an instant. My body collapsed against the floor. Each time my fingertips even touched that stone sent sparks of agony throughout my body. Tears welled behind my own eyes, I fought to keep them there, but failed. Now that I was awake, every moment felt longer when I had nothing, but darkness clouding my vision. Now sobbing in an empty room I felt helpless, sobbing to myself pitifully as if my captor would feel the mercy I pleaded for. Hope was fleeting as well as the cold air. The floor began to feel warm as well as the air that once stung my lungs. Death, however dreary, was now a welcome guest. I shut my eyes and held the flow of tears as my savior came, but as the cell began to warm, images showed themselves flicking rapidly across my eyelids. My final moments were as sure as the blood dried against my skin. Suddenly a noise, no a light appeared into the room. My senses remained foggy and hazed, combined in desperation for interactions. I fought against my own judgment to open my eyes, when finally I gave into it. The room was still dark, almost darker than it was before. In the distance was a single glimmer, on the far side of the room was a single speck of light. Not between the cracks, nor on the stone. It was past the stone. I rose to my feet, strength fleeing as much as the stinging cuts now closed by brittle shells.
“Taunting me now?” I seethed through my teeth. The tendrils of the shadows swirling around my begging me to stay, though I felt their passes, only pushing me onward. My eyes trained on the dot, inviting me to follow with its shimmering light. My shackles fell away and finally my cell behind me. Stone no longer material, I passed though into nothingness for only a moment. The light still beckoned me forth as if it was saying I wasn’t trapped, that I was free from one step and the second was mere paces away. The speck never grew in brightness or lost one of its many hues.
“What the fuck.” my body woke, it’s trek stopped as my mind reeled back from the world around me. I whirled in my step, my eyes meeting everything around with the horror and joy my mind was not privy to just yet. The cell, the room, the dungeon I was in no longer lay before me, instead I was in this gray, this blackness, this Umbra between the beacons of dream and stars.
‘No these thoughts aren’t mine.’ Before me appeared a path. Not in stone nor even material of the world. My feet regained feeling as the pressure of numbness faded revealed the texture that comforted even the smallest of insecurities within my soul.
‘I must walk.’ I fought with the notion and breath that willed me further, I begged myself to jump away into the endless below, but found that my gaze directed itself towards the glow once more.
I felt the cell behind me approach, moving like a predator amongst the brush. It awaited my fall, to catch me once more and never let me go. I felt the eyes of an impossible haze rest on my shoulders. I finally focused myself and ran down the path. My body carried me faster than wind and never tired from the short breath I struggled to breath when I was thrust forward by another force. I could not turn to see, but its touch felt familiar and fleeting. The spark that once smiled as I escaped his hold now encompassed me. The gloom of shadow and the endlessness of gray fled into the crevices between the light of the study.
“It’s been a while, Atlas.” A voice that flickered like a flame in my memory.
“Who are you?” It had been an impossible stretch of time, decades if not centuries seemed to shrink as the familiar words came back to me. A woman sat at the desk far older than I remembered. The study was littered heavily with books, old and new, some torn to imitate confetti, their words scrapped to make new ones and all written meanings becoming unknown to me.
“I do not know, but I believe you knew me only as Mom.” Her details now replaced with the same gray as the place before. I couldn’t tell if it was a lie or a truth, but I couldn’t prove either.
The details of her figure seemed to shift not only in appearance, but in size as the moments stretched in the silence between the two.
“I know you don’t remember me, but it has been so long since I left. I couldn’t stay, not with him threatening to escape. When He took Anne’s life, I knew it was time to fight. I knew him once as if he was an imaginary friend, but when he came out of the shadow I knew what he was capable of. This place was built to contain him, between the steeples of the faith, but he learned from his mistakes.” The study conjured a whirlwind of papers and books, and in the midst of the havoc on its edges an image built from the shadow and straps formed as her story continued.
“I left you and your father behind to close the door that I helped open, but the time I reached far enough, it was already too late. My body died in the room you found behind the bookcase. Dust was all that remained when you came down, complete with the cutest getup looking for ghosts. You always were an explorer like me, but I never thought to warn you of the danger.”
I pulled my eyes from the barely recognizable image of myself.
“Danger? What is this place?” I approached the desk and gazed deeply at her, the question finally rung out from my lips as if they were trapped.
“This is a nightmare, impossible things and memories both fake and real. I’m in danger as we speak. This isn’t real and neither are you. I’m in some coma right now and you are talking about some end of the world shit when in reality you are long dead and I’m happy for it. You left me and Dad, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. I hoped you would come back after my trip to your family’s personal nuthouse. It’s been years since I had even thought of you and now I’d like to go back to my friends, to MY apartment, and TO MY EXISTENCE outside of this fever dream, but let me fucking guess I imagined you up just to cope within my own head as my body lay dying on some goddamn hospital bed waiting for someone to have the fucking guts to rip the damn cord!” The rage in my chest thundered away as the study and its illusion of images faded to the gray while the figure remained before me.
“You were so young when the gift came,” The voice spoke meekly as the figure faded away. “, I tried so hard to protect you, I promise. This world was one of many, more than either of us can hope to know, but beyond us was help as the rest came to be claimed by what remained there. We are the tenth cycle, we were meant to be the last as our God gave the last of himself to bestow us a gift that no cycle had before.” I thrust my hand toward the thing’s throat, the image of a woman gone. Whatever remained was vulnerable as I wrapped my fingers around what I presumed was a neck. I screamed in anger at the thing as I tightened my grip.
“You are nothing more than embers in my mind, what proof could you have when all I have seen is from myself or some memory of a tv show from before I fell asleep. Twisted by my dying brain and further by whatever accident claimed my life.” Whatever was left of the study replaced itself with vague colors and objects that were blurred beyond recognition.
“Let me show you.” The voice choked out in pain, suddenly I realized that I hadn’t needed to breath in several minutes, I gasped for air where there was none. I clawed at my own throat, releasing the entity as the room formed before me. My vision remained fixed on the skinny young boy that came running down the hall towards the two.
“Relax yourself, breathing isn’t a requirement of this place. You merely think you need air, so you panic until your mind shuts down again and you will be back in the hands of him.”
Though the scene before me became unsettling as I soon realized that the little boy before us was me, I managed to focus on my breathing, whatever was missing before had returned, I knew I had no need to breath, but the thought of losing that one simple thing sent terrible images flickering in the back of my head. I managed to relax for a moment, as the boy spoke.
“Come on dad, you are going to miss it.” Young Atlas pulled my hand behind him, his grip was surprisingly strong, as he directed me down the stairs, I looked to my features as the light of the foyer met my skin and clothing.
“Yes, you are in his memory. From his point of view, you will see what I have to say is the truth.”
The starry sky greeted me as the last glimpse of sunlight dipped behind the horizon. I remembered this night, it was the fourth of July, the first one since we moved down here and dad sold our house in Utah. The flurry of lights illuminated the garden and the green lawn that he fought so far to keep that way shimmered from the dew of the vigorous watering cycle that was cut short to preserve the guest’s and their clothing. I was only 8 years old at the time and coincidentally the weariness of day started to show as the barrage of fireworks that lit up the sky began to slow. Atlas’s head drooped onto my arm as we sat on the folding chairs borrowed from the garage. As the others applauded Victor for his performance with the pyrotechnics from a degree that was ridiculed so heavily, I hoisted Atlas’s small frame into my own arms and marched to his room, actively avoiding the guests that blocked my path. Finally I opened the door separating the party of tipsy patrons, when I was met face to face with Valorie sitting on Atlas’s, no, my bed.
“What are you doing?” My father’s voice escaped my lips in a hushed tone, I wasn’t merely watching through his eyes, I was him. I placed my body, My mind was confused, the swap between the perspectives presented a toll not only on my mind, but my very being. Two memories existing at the same time, I remember my father talking to Aunt Valorie then pulling her from the room before I returned to sleep, but the shock of what was about to transpire forced me to pull away from the vision.
“You have to let this happen, otherwise you won’t be able to leave.” The voice of my mother rang in my ears, The vision froze in place at the exact moment that I felt Valorie’s eyes rested on my father’s lips. I turned away from the putrid wallpaper and the glow of passion in my Aunt’s eyes to the gray gloom and the figure that imitated my mother.
“I felt the same fury when it first happened, but I was powerless to do anything about it and you are too. You cannot change the past, what is done has been done.” I balled my fists and sighed as I released them.
“This didn’t happen, it couldn’t have. My father never got over you.” I said, knowing my words were false even before they left me.
“It’s a human need to seek out comfort, although Mark resisted for as long as he could, my fiend of a sister exploited it for her own benefit. Blackmail was never beneath her, and so he suffered for ages at her hand especially after The Ragged man took you away.” The calmness in her voice was no doubt human now, but it only served to anger me.
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“How can you just stand there and allow me to see this?” I spoke, my boiling blood neared another overflow.
“I still feel the need to protect you, although it would be useless to shield you from the truth no matter how dark.” The blurriness of her figure began to recede and her form reassembled to be her again.
“That isn’t enough.” I thrust myself back into the vision, the anger propelling me to seize control of my father’s arms and body fully. I covered my Aunt’s mouth with the burly and calloused hands of my overworked father and whispered into her ear.
“I don’t care what kind of blackmail you have or whatever lies slither from your lips, but if you come near me or my son again, I will make sure you pay with every ounce of your being.”
Her eyes became wide and her mouth opened to let out a scream, but stopped as she realized the hatred that flared behind my father’s eyes. I felt the tugging at my mind as I spoke what I had to say.
“Now I’m going to let go, then you are going to pack up whatever you have and leave. Nod, if you understand.”
Valorie nodded and pulled my hand away. She backpedaled down the hallway and just before she could turn around, she yelled
“My father will hear about this.” Just as she turned, Ralph walked up the stairs, cane in hand and Al holding up the other.
“Hear what, my dear?” Valorie froze in her step and apprehensively turned towards her aged father. Valorie pointed a wicked and harsh finger at me.
“That pervert you call a son-in-law groped me and has been stealing money from the estate.”
Valorie summoned the tears of the victim she so often acted out, though I recognized it, I hoped my grandfather would be able to also.
“You did what!” Uncle Al released my grandfather’s arm and marched towards me.
“Calm down, both of you. Little Val, I have known for a while that it has been you stealing money and torturing your brother-in-law with blackmail that you scarcely understand, much less understand that it was Albert’s own secret. Surely you wielded expertly, but against someone who has lost so much and would rather meet pain with servitude.” I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe as Al turned his anger to his little sister.
“I was hoping you would have felt sorry for stealing the money eventually and pull yourself from the doubt, but seeing as you happily seek to cause discontent, I ask that you leave.” Ralph raised his hand and waved it to the foyer’s stairs.
“If you are going to act like a snake, at least have the courtesy to crawl on the floor.”
Valorie ran down the stairs and past the guest, crying the very real tears that once bought her sanctuary.” I walked past Al and grasped Grandpa Ralph’s hand, but before a word of thanks could be said. The vision was ripped away and I plummeted to my knees, the thumping of my heart joined with the smile carved onto my lips.
“You changed it. How did you change it?” The voice of my mother sprung out from behind me, catching me by surprise.
“I just did, what is this feeling?” I felt the warmth in my chest grow as the strength of my body buckled before me, but this was different than before. I couldn’t quite place what it was, but I felt stronger than I ever had before and full, as if I had eaten an entire feast.
“You stole the memories of your father, every moment after between Valorie and him; good and bad erased from his mind. It's impossible.” I pushed myself up, the feeling in my legs returning fast. I turned my gaze to the figure and studied her features closer as if putting together a puzzle and finally her face came back to him, a cascade of emotions flooded my body.
“Mom!” I rushed to embrace the formerly elusive entity, my arms wrapped around her frame as I squeezed her. The very warmth transferred between the clothing and skin sparked memories that shouldn’t exist. My first steps, my first haircut from my mother, how she held me for my vaccinations, when she first held me as I was swaddled in the hospital while she thought of my name.
“I named you Atlas because you could carry the world… my world. I did not know your fate or the role you would play later, but it’s time you earn your name, my son.”
“I’m ready mom.” I pulled away to see the pleasant smile still spread across her cheeks.
“Find the door, my sweet baby. I will take you as far as I can, but you will be in more danger than you have ever known now that he knows you are awake within the Umbra.” I sought to ask her what the umbra was, but the meaning pressed itself into my mind.
‘A lonely road we walk, where dreams become manifest and nightmares hold the power of conquerors. This is the final gift for us, to create our own worlds from the cinders of old gods and their ancestors whose power they reaped.’
A path appeared before us, their patterns shown like constellations against the void beneath, putting ours to shame. They weaved back and forth, mimicking the popular ones that I loved the most when I was taught by my grandfather. Each step forward was graceful as the space between each step became longer.
“This place is amazing, where are you taking me?” I watched my mother as she seemed to gallop and leap great heights.
“We follow the path, one laid by the wisest of our bloodline. This place is one of many around your world, some smaller and some spanning galaxies wide. This is the one he conquered and tamed to house the denizen you call the ragged man, when I was your age he was nothing more than a bruised child who escaped his father’s wrath through dreams. I did not know what he would become while I helped open the oldest door. His name was Arthur, he wanted nothing more than to be free, but it was that same desire that led him to kill Anne and sever the tie between my body and this.” I stopped for a moment, forcing my mother to do the same.
“If this place is to hold him, why is the Sinn house being affected? I can’t be the only one that noticed for so long, I mean how did I even get away?” It was an honest question, but tears still welled in my mother’s eyes.
“You didn’t get away. Your body was 8 years old, but your mind has grown exponentially in this place. On the outside, in the real world, it has been years since you were taken. Your father searched high and low, now he stays thinking you are like Anne where if he leaves, you die. It isn’t true, but he believes it is since he is the last one and he can’t convince himself otherwise.”
I gawked at her defensively.
“What about my friends or my apartment?” She pulled me close to her and spoke in the softest voice she could muster.
“Memories made to make you complacent as he stole your ability bit by bit. Do you remember where you met your friends or what city you live in, or even what neighbors you lived around?”
I didn’t, every detail that would even suggest an answer was hazing.
“Whatever life you lived in there… is gone and never existed. The people that came to the house looking for you were fed on by Arthur and the details, no matter how small, faded as he fabricated your life from the memories of the other. We have to help the three remaining, Mike, Will, and Layla, but I fear they may be the last sacrifice before I fade away.”
‘Layla.’ My heart fluttered at the image I remembered before the diner on the side of the road.
“They came to help, I heard them. They know I am here.” I spoke as I sprinted down the path. I expected myself to be winded by the speed I was moving, but another thought took its place.
“What is the Tether of Nine?” I shouted at my mother who bounded behind me, struggling to keep up.
“The others, the ones from the previous cycle. They want the power that our world holds. Being forced to manifest when their reality collapsed, when all material collapses what remains is the energy of all those that lived before creating monsters of impossible power left to rule over nothing and darkness for an eternity. Your grandfather could explain it better, but his soul is trapped outside the Umbra.”
Suddenly a voice shrieked from the darkness below, echoing endless and infinitely. It pierced my ears and deafened my senses.
“You talk so loud for something so small.” The booming claps of vocal thunder vibrated every bone in my body.
“Run Atlas, Please.” My mother pleaded as a shadow consumed her and the path behind me. I heard her scream for a moment before the same silence greeted me. The road stretched endlessly in front of me as every step seemed to lengthen my course.
“Yes, Run boy. Your mommy can’t save you now.” The voice cackled with a familiar laugh. The sound that once surrounded every nightmare and lingered every time I stepped foot into the study.
“I know you… I know your name!” I shouted towards the stalking shadow. The thing stopped its advance and appeared to shrink as a figure crept from its shroud, and approached me.
“You know a speck of my being, extinguished when I became a god over this place.” I felt the cockiness in his voice, the glare of hatred fall upon my own.
“You aren’t a god, you are nothing more than some kidnapping asshole that stole years of my life.” I took a stance, readied myself to pounce at him. It was the most useful thought in my head, besides running. Running only got me so far, now I chose to fight, my wounds receded the moment I regained my strength.
“You think you are so clever, in this place I hold the power and the crown to take what I want. You walk so readily into my world. So proud that you feast on your father’s bad memories. So proud that you escaped a mere trap meant for the mouse who dared trespass.” He finally stood face to face with me, though He was much taller, I met his gaze.
“It runs in the family.” I said before I thrusted myself into him, just as I had done with the memories of my father. I felt his grip slide off of me like raindrops, as I fell into the blackness of his being. The world spun around me as the view of the Umbra shrink to the same speck as the one that pulled me from my chains. I shut my eyes as I plummeted endlessly until I crashed into something hard. I ripped my eyes open to see an unfamiliar sight. A plain room decorated with charts and pictures of young boys and girls as if it was school picture day. I sat up from the padded table when a nurse with a baggy white coat and the tackiest striped color shirt beneath.
“This is the third time this week Arty, I can’t have you in here every time you wanna take a nap.”
I took a moment to examine myself, I was different. My hands and arms are somehow slimmer than my normal body. I stood and approached the mirror, peering at my features as if I was losing my mind. In the reflection, stood a boy nearly anorexic, whose nose was slender and long and hair the puffed out to one side, but otherwise clung to the skin. My eyes were a deep brown and slightly bloodshot. I couldn’t have been older than 13, but the fuzz that gathered on my upper lip would beg otherwise.
“What are you gawking at, it's not like your classmates wrote on you again.” The woman approached the phone on the desk.
“I’m gonna have to call your dad, you missed the buses home.” The underlying tone on her voice was threatening, although minor compared to what I would receive from that man.
“No, please don’t. I can walk home, if you don’t call him, you won’t see me again.”
I placed my body in-between the phone and the school nurse. She folded her arms and stared at me through thin, wide glass, it felt like a magnifying glass as she watched me.
“Fine Arty, but next time I catch you in here, nothing will stop me. You have my word.”
“Thank you Ms. Tuffin.” I skulked out of her office, placing each step carefully until I was out of that school. Each day felt like a new hell, today was no different except that it was a friday. My father would be out of the house until Sunday night, and until then I had the house to myself since Bailey was out with her boyfriend.
Tonight was the night, I knew it in my core, but I couldn’t help to feel a weight looming over me waiting to strike.