Soon my mind whisked me away to simpler days and the memories surged away with another form of loss. My mom left my dad just before that first summer, and despite being ostracized by her side of the family before I was born, He received an invitation to spend the summer down there, and make up the pay loss by working on the house. I had no clue what he would do all day, but I had my own entertainment.
My grandfather would invite me into his study in the evening to read to me the fantastic stories that my great-grandfather had collected over the years up until his death. He would be described as a collector of intangible ideas and the lessons of generations at work. One evening in particular, my grandfather went into town for a doctor’s visit and during the time he would normally read to me, I walked into his study to find he wasn’t there. As a kid I loved to meddle, finding only the treasures that a child of my age would fantasize and fabricate stories about. I found something in the back of a drawer of the writing desk in the center of the study. It was a small thing, and it looked as if it hadn’t moved in a decade or so by the dust around it. I took the odd shaped key, my heart fluttering with excitement, I sprung up and ran to every keyhole in the study I could see until I found one that fit that lumpy key. I was unsuccessful in every attempt. I suddenly heard the slam of a car door and knew I would be in trouble lurking in possibly the most treasured room of the house. I sprinted to the desk and tossed the key blindly in the drawer and heard the clatter of the key falling further inside the desk, where it landed was behind the drawer entirely. I pulled the drawer out as carefully as possible to not drop its contents across the floor. Just then I heard a creak on the other end of the room, almost an inanimate whisper of the house. I stacked the drawer on top of books haphazardly and walked to the hidden door disguised as a bookshelf. I dropped my guard too quickly, it would be my mistake. The cold and bitter wind coming from the cracked doorway brought chills up my spine, I took my first step into the stairwell I deemed far enough and turned to leave. It was too dark, but the moment I set my sights on the study and the safety of known territory, I heard a voice coming from the bottom of the stairwell.
“Hello.” It spoke softly. I didn’t know how far it went down, they could have been yelling for all I knew.
“Hello.” I replied, trying in vain to not show a bit of fear.
Nothing.
“Hello.” I said louder, convincing myself I had imagined the voice.
Nothing.
I took a deep breath to stop the quivering I felt in my chest, one more time I thought.
“HELLO!” I yelled down the stairs.
Nothing. I scoffed at the fear I experienced. I closed the door and thought I should ask grandpa about it tomorrow. I turned around to see a figure dressed in tattered black robes lunge towards me. I tried to let out a scream, but I was quickly shoved against the bookcase and an icy hand pressed against my mouth. I froze in place, my eyes wide in a state of terror. It lifted a finger to where its mouth was supposed to be. Still frozen in place, I felt a warmth running down my leg. It cackled, with a horrible voice like broken glass in a bag and coughed fiercely, I felt the spray of fluid on my face. I didn't even flinch, not blink away the drops that landed in my eyes, staining my vision a translucent red. My lungs were about to burst, I had to breathe, but my body didn’t respond. My eyes were getting blurry, I felt the welling of tears, but I was finally able to breathe when I perceived the immense pain in my side. I looked, his hand was in me, the blackness of his figure creeping its way onto my skin and into the open wounds. I felt him digging through my flesh. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, I had fainted from the pain.
I awoke an hour later to the back of an ambulance and a flashlight shining across my face. My father was by my side, holding my hand in a feverish intensity.
“What happened?” I said in a whisper.
“You hit your head son, you might have a concussion.” the paramedic with graying hair said.
“Your aunt found you in the study, unconscious.” My father followed with.
I suddenly shot up in the gurney, checked my side, nearly ripping my pajamas in the process. Nothing, but the pale pink of the rest of my body. The paramedic pulled my father aside while the younger paramedic slipped the blood pressure cuff off my arm and began to pack up. My father stepped back into view and hopped inside the ambulance.
“It’s alright buddy, we are just going to the hospital to make sure you are ok.” my father said reassuringly.
The older paramedic closed the back doors from the inside and sat in his seat, when he moved out of the way i looked out the window of the ambulance to see the illuminated window of the study and my grandfather casting a shadow on the glass accompanied by the silhouette of a large, gangly man in shredded and flowing coat behind him as we drove away. The terror I had felt before was still there, hiding in a cloud of disbelief for the rest of the summer. I asked my grandfather, my dad, even aunt Melissa and uncle Al, but none of them knew what I was talking about; Saying I had made it up and was over exaggerating. My aunt made sure that I knew what was real and what was fake, even so much as to check my closet and under my bed in a sultry manner, mocking my fear in a way. Sometimes I think it actually made me feel safe in that locked room, especially on the days after helping the gardener pull weeds on the edge of the property where the forest kept a fine line between it and civilization. I would imagine the man sitting under one of the burrows under the many dead trees, waiting and staring into the yard to get me when my attention was elsewhere. I knew that he was real in a sense, but he left no mark on me or any trace within the study. Maybe I hit my head and imagined the whole thing, in any case I wasn't afraid anymore. Wanting to prove myself right and go home early to my friends, I waited until my grandfather left for the doctor again. The visits were becoming steadily longer throughout the summer and the longest one was at the end of the week. He needed surgery on a tumor and would be out for the weekend, if not longer.
I knew this would be my only chance and all was well until the twins arrived.
Valorie and Victor arrived in the dark of the morning with bags on bags of clothes and the stench of something foul I could only describe as an earthy sweat of a pig. I became fond of both them in my own way. I couldn’t keep their interest for longer than a few minutes and as it would turn out, they couldn’t keep my attention for the same amount of time. They never truly grew out of their phase of rebellious youth and inadequate initiative for acclimation. The time came, but a small snag was sure to happen. My father packed a bag for himself and my grandfather, the hospital required for such a surgery was about a day trip away. My grandfather was seated neatly in the car, I reached in for a lukewarm hug from the pale man, but grandfather was already fast asleep with the aid of a heavy sleeping medication due to his car sickness on long trips. My father wrangled the twins out of their room and sat them on the cold stone steps of the house.
“I expect you to listen carefully to you two, you both are in charge of Atlas until I get back. No parties or friends over, and nothing illegal. I took the liberty of raiding your cache and hiding it.” My father said with a serious scowl on his brow. The twins had a look of irritation on their faces, both looking my father up and down gauging his seriousness in the situation. My father continued, “Al and Melissa will be out for the weekend, you will be on your best behavior. If I come back and there is a single mess outside of your room there will be hell to pay.”
Obviously used to the talk before the twins rolled their eyes in near-synch, nonetheless they agreed to the nonnegotiable terms. Dad pulled me towards him with a big hug and said in the kind tone I had exclusive rights to. “Ok buddy, I’m going to be gone for a few days. If there are any problems feel free to call me. I left the number for the hotel on the fridge door and ask for room 103, I’ll pick up or call you back as soon as possible. Also I left the number for Al’s cell phone on the back of mine, and have either Victor or Valorie call them when they need to cook. They are just in the next town over for a family thing and should be back on Monday. I love you.”
I replied with the same heartfelt I love you and hugged my father one more time. I waved goodbye and marched back inside to the twins already vanishing into their domicile, lounging the day away to the video games and long phone calls to boyfriends across the country. I tried to hang out with them, but the same smell that preceded their arrival was the same that repelled me away from even entering that wing of the house. My plan painstakingly waiting was finally here and in the daylight no less.
I gathered my tools. A digital camera from Melissa’s photography box, a flashlight from my dad’s toolbox, and a well used pocket knife that I had “borrowed” from the gardener. I only had 2 hands, so to keep myself from being unarmed or without light, I strapped the flashlight to my head like a coal miner helmet. I knew I looked ridiculous, but it didn’t stop me from my mission. I did take extra precautions from being seen by the twins. Walking into the study, I felt the chill in the air clinging to my exposed skin; Dad had turned off this wing’s heating in my grandfather’s absence.
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The drawer came loose like before, the same creak announcing the arrival of the bookcase door. My shaky breath let out a mist as my feet crossed the threshold. Down the stairs I went taking pictures as I went through cobwebs and rat droppings that littered the top few steps. I descended the stairs, getting braver as I went, until I touched the landing. I could feel the cold through my shoes. I lifted my head and the flashlight with it. Illuminating the room with an orange glow. I saw nothing of interest in any corner, the room was empty of any trace of life. Dust coating the floor as much as the January snow, I couldn’t believe my eyes, there was truly nothing. I stepped into the center of the room when I heard the rattle of chains. I hadn’t seen chains anywhere before. I held my breath, shuttering in my sneakers, I slowly scanned my surroundings, but nothing turned up. No stone was significant nor pillar suspicious. My search to prove my skepticism of a simple head injury was in vain. I slowly let out my breath, I couldn’t believe that I could make such a thing up. I touched every stone and felt in every crack, there was no secret lever or button in this place. This was it and whatever was down here that night was long gone by decades or more. I was possibly the first person down here in the better half of a century. The chains rattled again against the stones of the hidden room, swinging my head in the definite direction of the noise. My flashlight illuminated the sunlight deprived face of Victor
“AAAAAAAAAAGHHH.” I screamed with the full force of my tiny body, feeling my vocal cords nearly shredding. The fright shocked my heart into overdrive, adrenaline pumping through my veins faster than a dead sprint up two flights of stairs.
“Calm down Atlas, what are you doing down here? Actually I have never seen this before. Come here buddy.” Victor said with a kind reassurance in his voice. I walked up to him and took his hand before he led me up the stairs. “Valerie and I are going to King’s Grove and we wanted you to come with us.” I replied yes quickly, the adrenaline shooting through my veins forcing my hand, this house was beginning to get creepy with my father gone.
Victor's car took us only a few miles down the road to a forest path that quickly faded from view behind the bark and shrubs of the calm forest. Valerie turned around from her seat in the front of the car. “Since we can’t have a party at the house, we are going to have one here. Our friends are already in the clearing. So if we feed you and you have a good time, do you promise you won’t tell your dad?” She said with a smirk. I was excited to be at my first party and regardless of the dark forest, he made the mistake of trusting the twins only to realize much later, but in the moment I agreed before following them on the hike into the forest. The path felt much shorter when I walked along the sifted dirt walkway carved by the many others before me. The clearing was up ahead and the smell of wild flowers laced with the tang of smoked BBQ greeted our arrival. People gathered nearly everywhere in their own groups chatting away with a red cup in their hand and others floating between the groups, just to have a laugh before running off to repeat the same thing not even 10 paces away. Tables were scattered across the clearing, many unoccupied, until I saw a group of children around my age playing with a few disregarded pieces of broken branches and a tipped table or two. One of the older members of the “congregation” came over to us and greeted both Victor and Valerie. The twins shooed me away to go play with the other kids, before taking an identical red cup, I lazily made my way over to the children.
They greeted me awkwardly and ran away like it was a game of tag. I was already familiar with this kind of treatment and decided that I shouldn't bother. I meandered towards the edge of the clearing, kicking various pebbles and snapping broken branches beneath my feet. Once I was in the shade of the trees, I felt the breeze become cooler. I spent a few minutes looking around for something interesting to do. There was literally nothing to do, I already knew I didn't fit in, so I did what I normally did: explore. There were several animal trails and various downed trees in the way of my own path I had begun to forge. The light of the sun faded beneath the clouds and the shade of the trees. Creating the shadows I had come to partially fear. I stopped my footfall and taking in every sound, I slowed my breath to a soundless whisper. Anxiety had overcome my need for new sights. A crunch of dry leaves behind me, I whipped my head around to face the noise, nothing was different from the way I had come. My heartbeat struck a foul chord and my chest stung with the flow of adrenaline. I heard several branches snap this time to my left, closer than before. I froze in fear, turning my head to face my potential predator, it was so fast that I couldn't see it from the place I had it to the next, there was hardly any cover on the self imposed path. I felt the need to scream for my aunt or my uncle back in the clearing, god knows how far away it was and if they could hear me past the party noise and the foliage I was behind. I took hold of myself, I looked around frantically for any sign that I wasn't scaring myself. The canopy of interlaced trees above me began to shake, the weakest of leaves falling at my feet. I glanced upwards, the leaves were too thick to see anything except the flecks of lights from above. The moment I blinked after staring for so long drew out longer than expected from the dryness in the air. When I opened my eyes once more, a pale face was in front of me hanging upside down. I saw it for only a second before breaking into a dead sprint in what I had thought was the right direction. I was already huffing and weezing after a minute or two of the run only to stop and see that this was unfamiliar ground. Slumping against a tree, facing where I had came from, the bushes and tall weeds that I had trampled still swing from the trauma.
I didn’t focus on the face for more than a second and the details of what it was eluded me, but it did look familiar. I thought it was the face from the day I had first arrived, near the front gate of the house. After a minute of rest, I walked back towards the clearing of the party; of course I took a long and curved way around, nonetheless I knew it was the right direction or at least towards the road. I resolved that I was going to stay with Victor or Valerie for the rest of the day. My nerves were worn thin and being jumpy was an understatement. I heard the music of the party again, smiling that I was now safe when I saw a small child-like figure sitting at the edge of the trees hidden under the shadows of the overhanging pine branches. I approached slowly, a voice spoke in a loud, but still hushed tone.
“I’m sorry I scared you” it said. I couldn’t recognize if it was a boy or a girl’s voice.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen other children my age. Please come sit.” The figure gestured toward the rock next to it, I could see the features of its body more clearly, it was pale like before, but the arm it outstretched was skinny and frail looking, but a bracelet of childish charms was disarming enough for me to finally take a seat. The figure finally looked at me, It was a girl about my age, maybe slightly older; a birthmark rested just underneath the collar of her well worn floral print shirt and the overalls sporting a kaleidoscopic variety of paint that dried into the fabric. My worries fell away as I finally spoke after clearing my throat from the phlegm of dehydration.
“Who are you?” I asked, a curious tone spilling over
“My name is Anne after my mom.” she said, I could feel a note of sadness in her voice.
We watched the other children play for a while in silence, I could see the yearning in her eyes as she gazed upon the various games the group reenacted. I was unsure of what they were actually playing, but it was nonsense to me.
“What is your name?” Anne finally followed up, she turned her gaze to me. I was stunned by the vibrant hue of blue and green in her irises, despite being out of the direct light, they shone as if unbothered by shade and shadow.
“My name is Atlas.” I spoke at a slower pace than I would have liked. She smiled and outstretched her hand towards mine, I took it gently and shook; matching the rhythm that she set. Regardless of her somewhat rugged appearance, her skin was unnaturally soft and smooth.
“Nice to meet you finally. I think I've seen you before, but that was a month ago.”
I gulped nervously, maybe I was right in that I saw her when I first arrived at Sinn house.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well you were at my house, in fact I have seen you a few times talking to my grandpa. How do you know him?” she spouted rapidly. I was right, but how?
“Is your grandpa named Ralph?” I replied, Anne’s excitement shot her face into mine, she stared at me up and down now more curious than ever.
“Yes yes, that's my grandpa. I haven’t seen him in forever. I can’t go in the house anymore, but I can see him through the window or when he is in the garden.” She nearly shouted, her words nearly ran together as they poured from her mouth.
“That’s my grandpa too. I think you are my cousin.” I said in the same excitement, but I held my tongue longer enough between each word, as it was becoming a pet peeve that I had to pick apart her words to understand where the space was. The excitement in her eyes declined rapidly into dullness as a more serious look had replaced joyful longing. Dread.
“I have to go Atlas, I am sorry.” Anne said, the sadness returned once more in her voice.
“Wait what did I say?” I pleaded to her, just as she rose from her stone seat.
“You will see one day, but today I am sorry that I can't say more.”
“No, please tell me. Is it about the ragged man in the study?” I rose to follow her.
“He isn’t in the study, he is never in the same place. He follows the stories wherever they show. He eats them.” Anne said with an all too ominous tone.
“Stories aren’t real. They can’t be eaten when they aren't there.” I pleaded further. My concern grew, but I already knew she wouldn’t have answers, her terror was an unscalable wall. She swung around in anger. “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. You know nothing and eventually you’ll be like me, if even that.” A furious scowl was imprinted on her face, but tears streamed down her face. She lifted one side of her shirt after undoing one strap of her overalls. The caked and dried blood of a wound in her side was the first thing I saw when she ripped away the bandages which were evidently holding her skin together. I stood wordless as she revealed a massive hole in her side. A flow of blood cascaded from the wound, soaking into the overalls and the earth underneath her feet. I fought myself for a time, but nausea won over and I vomited onto the ground in front of me and splashed onto my shoes. Anne buttoned her overalls back up and turned back towards the trail. She looked completely fine in her step and pace. I still saw the blood on the ground and unconsciousness took its turn to throw a punch, but I managed to resist it until I stepped in the clearing of the party before collapsing into the grass and earth recently softened by a drizzle of rain. I heard Victor’s voice and the stampede of party goers coming towards me as I felt the dehydration and the sun beading down upon me. I closed my eyes and when I woke up next, I was back at Sinn House tucked into my bed with an IV in my arm.