His legs are crossed beneath him, his chest rises and falls as he listens to the hum of hyperspace. His hands grip his knees lightly as he looks inward, into his thoughts, his feelings, everything. He needs to know what’s changed, why is he stronger, why are his connections deeper, why is it so much harder to keep his emotions in check?
Those are all the questions he asks the force, asks himself as he meditates in his cabin, heading towards Ralltiir. He reaches out, letting his senses move beyond the ship's walls, touching the stars as they speed by, feeling the gravity of planets as they try to pull on him.
He senses it all and he focuses on it, asking why to the force, letting it fill him. His vision starts to blur, a hue of white surrounding him in his mind.
“I don’t know, it’s like… it’s like a wave of feelings that I can feel from everyone around Master, and I don’t know how to handle it, it’s like…like trying to keep myself from feeling everyone else's feelings along with my own,” A young Anakin Skywalker says looking up to Obi Wan Kenobi.
He sees himself, sitting there in the same meditative pose he’s in now, facing Anakin who’s doing the same opposite of him. Obi hums softly, watching his Padawan as he speaks, his eyes locked onto his form, looking over him, seeing the small ticks of irritation that lace his body.
“Your connection with the force is deep Anakin, you feel things that not many others feel, and it will be harder for you to keep in control. The more power you have, the more difficult control comes,” Obi Wan says softly, taking care with his words.
“How do I get in control then Master?” Anakin asks, a frustrated frown creasing his face as he shakes his head. Obi Wan smiles and reaches over, placing his hand on his knee gently, making Anakin look back at him.
“With practice and guidance my young Padawan, and time, simply time,” Obi Wan says, laughing lightly. Anakin smiles back nervously, his back hunching over slightly.
“Now, I think that another half hour of meditation is the perfect thing to gain experience, don't you Padawan?” Obi Wan asks, his eyes closing, Anakin following suit with another frown.
“I knew you were gonna say that,” He says, making his Master laugh again. The both of them take in a deep breath, in sync as they steep themselves in the force, in the exact same manner as the one remembering them now. The man’s eyes wet with a few tears as he watches one of his old memories.
Ben’s vision blurs blue again, this time a wave of heat his entire body, and he feels a warm wind blowing across his skin. He sees a ravine full of water and himself jumping hundreds of feet in the air above a torrent of lava, leaving the body of Fay, one of the oldest Jedi to have ever lived, now dead.
He watches himself land with a thud, he could see his whole body coiling with the impact in the tiniest way, seemingly not affected at all. He watches his old self look back, before sprinting off, faster than he ever had at any other point, full of the power his friend had given him in her last moments.
He remembers what that felt like, it had seemed like every part of himself was alive, he felt as almost as good as he does now. He watches himself fly over rocks and debris, full of another's power.
“Full of someone else's power,” He thinks, a soft hum leaving him as he thinks on what the force is showing him. The force had given him the power of another, on top of his own, probably himself, as he’d already theorized. If that was true, if that is what's actually happened, then he could be at the same level Anakin had been.
His eyes open, a sigh leaving him as he slouches slightly, letting himself ease out of the body of the force. He can’t help but shake his head thinking of his former Padawan, wiping away a few of the tears he’d let slip out.
“I didn't know,” He whispers to himself, now realizing everything that his brother had gone through, the struggle of power that he’d had to go through his entire life. He sits there for a moment, taking in his failures letting the grief flow through him just as they’ve done for years, and then he releases it into the force.
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“I couldn’t help then, but I can now,” He says shakily, some of those horrible memories weighing on his shoulders as he stands, a shiver running down his spine as he does. He turns and walks out, leaving another part of his failures behind to look at the potential his future has.
In the hall, he reaches out, looking for Satine, and easily finds her in her own room, sleeping. He smiles, his eyes closing for a moment as he takes in her beautiful light, just for a moment before his eyes open again and he continues his walk towards the cockpit.
It takes only moments before he gets there, the door sliding open easily for him as he enters, taking his seat in the pilot's chair and staring out into the beautiful tunnel of stars surrounding him. His leg crosses as he leans back, relaxing in his seat as he takes a breath.
“Thank you,” He says quietly, not sure really who he’s thanking, the force, his master, his friends, whoever had given him this second chance at making it right, fixing all the mistakes he’d made so long ago.
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He couldn’t help the silly grin that came to his face as they exited lightspeed, a little jerk rocking through them as they came to a slower speed. His hands on the controls as he guides them down to the planet's surface, allowing the force to guide his hands completely as it leads him to his target.
“What's our plan dear?” Satine asks, walking in and taking a seat next to him, watching him doing another task perfectly, as he almost always seemed to do. She can’t help the little grin that comes thinking about the time he’d dropped her. She looks down at the planet below before looking over at him, her hands in her lap as she toys with her fingers.
“Well, I’m going to find Fett, scout out the base he’s being held in, infiltrate it, and then get him out. It’s a very simple rescue mission, something I’ve done a few hundred times at this point,” He says, flying them through the atmosphere, almost to the spot that the force is calling him too.
“And where am I in this plan?” She asks in return, her arms crossed, smiling coyly at him. He looks over at her, matching her smile, then turns back to his task, making sure that he doesn;t deviate from his flight path.
“You my dear are going to wait in the ship in a secure location, while I infiltrate the slavers base and rescue Mandalorians deadliest bounty hunter,” He says nodding his head along to his own words. She scoffs lightly, smiling still, and reaches over, lightly hitting his shoulder.
“Do you really think I couldn’t handle myself in that kind of situation Ben? I could have your back, make sure you don’t get yourself killed,” She says half seriously, worried he might get hurt, or lords forbid die.
He just looks over at her for a moment, his brow raised with a skeptical look and a disarming smile. She can’t help but blush lightly at the look, the one he gives when he knows she’s joking, but looking so handsome with it.
“My dear, I’ve done this several times. I would feel much better knowing that you were safely aboard the ship and able to pick me up if the need arises,” He says thinking that he is definitely going to need to get out of there fast if things go sideways.
“Well, I’m glad that you think I’m at least capable of that,” She says laughing a little, glad to know that she isn;t going to be getting into any fights today, and instead would be helping save them. Obi Wan reaches over and squeezes her hand a slight bit before returning to his task, just about to land in a hangar bay.
Satine sits there quietly for a moment, watching as he activates the landing gear, and slowly lowers them. Breathing a small sigh of relief as they touch solid ground again. She has always hated flying, almost as much as Ben does.
“What is your actual plan though Obi?” She asks seriously, looking at him sternly, her voice firm, “I need to know that you're going to be ok doing this,” She says. He smiles gently, letting the controls go and at her.
“It’s exactly like I said my dear, scout, infiltrate, and then extract, the finer details of everything depends on the base in question, the guards posted there, what kind of weaponry they have, and a multitude of other things,” He says standing up, offering his hand to her.
She takes it, and stands with him as well, letting him lead her out of the cockpit, and slowly into the hangar down the hall. He takes her gently down the stairs, just enjoying the small task he has with her.
He’s noticed that in his time with her here again, he’s been much slower paced when in her presence. He supposes that it’s due to the lack of her beautiful presence that he’s been inclined to savor it now, while he can.
They reach their small living area and sit, her head on his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around her as they take one another in. He can’t help but smile, a matching one to hers as they enjoy their company.
“I’ll be careful Satine, I promise, I’ll be back within the day, hopefully with Fett, or information. I will find something that will help Mandalore,” He says gently, giving her arms a gentle squeeze before standing up, this time not offering a hand for her to follow him with.
“I need to go, I’ll be back soon,” He says smiling, getting down on a knee and taking her hand in his again, unable to resist the temptation to touch her. Her hand squeezes back just as gently, and gives him a glare.
“Be careful Ben,” She whispers, giving him a small kiss, “I love you,” She continues, a smile breaking out on her face seeing his blush.
“I love you too,” He says before standing back up. He checks his equipment really fast, his saber, his belt, and utilities, his poncho, and that’s everything. He grins down at her and then turns, heading for the ramp off the ship, and into yet another mission.