Chapter 3- working my way up

  "I will steal back my penis,” I said more quietly to myself. My vision was slowing returning from red to pink and then normal. Although I still felt really high, like I’d done a line of coke or something. But my brain was slowly returning to normal. I could feel the power inside me still. I placed my attention inside and saw 4 golden balls orbiting around the center, inside my solar plexus. My body was buzzing with power. Like I could bench press a semi. “I will steal back my penis,” I said again.

  But how exactly? I didn’t know where Sableye was, she was pretty high rank. Normally demons grew more powerful through demon power, and ranking within the various hells. I didn’t have any demon power anymore, so I didn’t know how I would measure up to some of the more powerful demons, like Sableye or Slick. How would I even find them, or that pimplee bastard who Stole MY DICK! “Fuck,” I slammed my fist through the desk, breaking it in half with one blow. I was never this powerful before. I started laughing, it felt pretty good.

  All I knew was that I couldn’t stay here. There were 3 dead bodies. I walked into the bathroom, and tried to use demon magic, to change my face. It didn’t work, I had no demon energy anymore. I tried to summon the soul energy to cover my face, and alter my features, but the 4 souls just trembled slightly before continuing to orbit around inside my core. Shit, if I couldn’t change my face, then this identity would be connected to the murders. Unless I could somehow get the bodies out of the penthouse in broad daylight and drive them somewhere. Would 3 bodies, two of them large muscle men, fit in my old vw bug. I didn’t think so. Aah fuck it, I’ll just kill any cops who come after me and eat their souls.

  Now, how to find Sableye. She was responsible for many lower class demons. She made sure they got paid through the PaySmell of Venmax systems, so demons could live and work in the human world, bringing souls to hell.

  I decided to work my way up the chain. There were plenty of lower level demons, doing the shit jobs, while the higher level ones were livin it up. Just like McGonads, and I knew the perfect demon to start with. I smiled evilly to myself, leaving the bodies for the cops to find, and went to find Jerry.

  “Jerry,” I said sweetly. I was currently holding a slimy haired, scarecrow of a man against a dirty alley wall. I slammed him up against it, appreciating my newfound strength. Jerry was a sniveling pile of shitsticks of a lower lesser demon, how ever many lessers you can put on a demon, that’s how many Jerry was. He worked in an underground brothel. But he wasn’t even a pimp, he had been working his way up, to be a pimp, for the last 700 years.

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  “Jerry,” I said again, sweetly. I smacked his head into the brick wall. “Who’s the boss,” I screamed in his face.

  “You’re the boss, you’re the boss mel, please don’t hurt me,” he snivelled and whined like a little baby octopus, shooting its first ink.

  “No, no, no,” I said quickly, “what I wanna know is who’s your boss Jerry.”

  He looked around surreptitiously. “You’re the boss mel,” he said again, “I’m your demon, don’t know any other bosses,” he said and sniffed.

  “No, no, no, no,” I said. I slammed him up against the wall again for good measure. “I want to know who your direct superior is,” I said quickly, holding him there.

  “You don’t mean Mr. Sparkles do you?” he said.

  “The pimp you work for,” I frowned, “no, idiot, who is your demon superior,” I said, annoyed at how this was progressing.

  “You’re the boss mel,” he said, with wide eyes.

  “No you idiot,” I dropped him to the ground. “Yes I’m the boss, right now,” I said, “but who is your actual demon superior, the one who makes sure you get paid,” I said quietly, “for the souls you corrupt.”

  “Wait I’m supposed to get paid for doing this,” he shouted at me. “700 fucking years, and only NOW I’m told, I’m supposed to get PAID for being in this shitty world,” he shouted, getting louder and louder until he was screaming up at me. He launched himself at me swinging a pathetic looking punch, which I easily caught, and threw him into the adjacent wall.

  I was taken aback. I’d known Jerry for 700 hundred years, and I’d never seen him like this. He was just a lowly shitstain of a lesser demon, doin the demonic hustle. Like the rest of us, but just with less skill, and more shame.

  “You motherfucker,” he screamed at me, “You’re my direct superior,” he yelled, breaking into a coughing fit halfway through. “You owe me 700 hundred years worth of shitty pay, you massive douche,” he yelled, breathing heavily, slowly wobbling to his feet.

  700 hundred years ago, I went back in my mind. I vaguely recalled something.

  “Wait was this when Sableye dropped by, and told me a new demon was in town, and to take care of him.” Odd choice of words I thought. “At the time, I thought she wanted me to have sex with you,” I smiled sweetly. “I am the best in bed after all,” I thought aloud, until I remember I no longer had a penis. My vision started to go red and I screamed up into the night “I will get back my penis.”

  Jerry was punching the wall, in anguish for the loss of pay, for 700 hundred years of sloppy, lazy, mediocre work, and a lot of slacking off. That is until he heard what Melzellbell had screamed into the distant night.

  “What did you just say,” said Jerry, raising his eyebrows, the highest they have ever been raised. “What did you just say,” he started to snicker, a small grin coming to his face.

  I looked at him coldly, my vision returning to normal.