With an army of several dozen Bantam Bar denizens blocking the only means of egress, there isn’t a whole lot that May can do. For her and the rest of the Marauders, the night is lost. That said, she throws everything and the kitchen sink. It’s only with great struggle that the folks of Camp Trin actually end up apprehending the Marauder, and May does manage to inflict a few casualties on the way down. She’s one tough customer, that’s for sure. To be clear, those aren’t my words, those are the words of Old Man Magoo, one of the older members of the Bantam Bar family. He hasn’t done much of anything noteworthy so I haven’t mentioned him before, but I felt that calling May a tough customer warranted a name drop.
Anyway, in just a few minutes, May is tied up and apprehended and back with the rest of the Marauders. Now that all of the invaders have been pacified, people are free to look around and really take in the scope of the damage that’s occurred. Everything in the chapel is in shambles. The walls, the floors, the pews, everything is fractured and broken. The color palette of the chapel was more or less alabaster white earlier in the evening, but now it has healthy Jackson Pollock inspired splatters of red throughout. Now, it’s fair to say that the Venn Diagram of people who spend their time in the Bantam Bar and people who spend their time in the chapel are more or less two completely separate circles, but everyone is still pretty aware that this is not what the place is supposed to look like. The chapel was their Arc de Triomphe, and it stings seeing it in such disrepair.
However, despite the fact that the inside of the Camp Trin chapel has been ravaged like it was Piper Perri, the Bantam Bar is generally pretty ecstatic. They share all manner of high fives and hugs, complimenting each other on their ascension from apathetic tavern collective to unified pseudo police force. No longer are they self-loathing, self-destructive alcoholics. They’re now self-loathing, self-destructive heroes with alcoholism, and that’s a strong step in the right direction. They successfully came together and fought off the Marauder invasion, and they can’t wait to celebrate with a pint.
As they pass their congratulations around the room, nobody gets more love and attention than Rach. Some people give her coy and knowing winks or nods, but most people swoop her into the air with outright bear hugs. Without her, the Marauders would have run away with the town and they would have lived the rest of their lives wondering what could have happened if they gave a damn enough to help. Rach rallied the troops at the eleventh hour. She doesn’t want to say it out loud, but she’s kinda feeling like a bad ass right now.
She finds Morgan in the crowd and moseys on over to him. “Hey Morgan, you know I’m kinda like a bad ass now, right?”
Morgan laughs as he finishes tying some extra restraints on a group of Marauders. “You say that like I didn’t already know it.”
“No, no, come on, it’s no fun if you cat like I was already a bad ass.”
“Wasn’t I the one who entrusted the safety of the town in your hands?”
Okay, yeah, I get it, but it would really make me feel a lot cooler if you would just let me have my little gotcha moment.”
“So, what, your gotcha moment is telling me that I was right to think you were capable of getting this ragtag group of drunks to shape up into a town defending tour de force?”
“Yeah, pretty much exactly that.”
Morgan laughs again. “Gotta hand it to you, Rach. Never in a million years did I think you’d be capable of getting this ragtag group of drunks to shape up into a town defending tour de force.”
“Well now it sounds like you’re just slighting me.”
“You quite literally asked for it.”
“Okay, yeah, whatever. For real, though. No B.S. You think I did okay?”
A smirk crawls across the Warden’s face. “You want the honest answer or the nice answer?”
“Ha, ha. Honest, you little shit.”
“Honestly, I couldn’t be more proud of you, Rach. I always knew you had it in you, but that doesn’t make me any less proud. And happy.”
“Well shit, Morgan. What was the nice answer?”
“That was also the nice answer.”
“Hot dog, color me flustered. Any chance you’re proud and happy enough to, oh, I don’t know, give me a week’s worth of immunity to public drunkenness charges?”
“Proud enough to give you a permanent position as captain of the watch.”
Rach, who had been smiling along, takes a step back and drops her jaw. “Wh-- Huh? What, is that supposed to be a joke? I know you’ve never told a joke in your life, so you probably don’t know this, but they’re supposed to be funny.”
“Rach, you know as well as I do that this town has some rough edges. Part and parcel of being on the border between two warring nations. Just our lot in life, I guess. Only way I could ever think of to keep this place safe was to accept dirty money from the Montegos and allow Daisy to basically own the place. But you’ve shown me that I’ve been underestimating the people of Camp Trin. If you could all rally together tonight to fend off the Marauders, then maybe I don’t need to hold this place on as much of a vice grip as I thought.”
“What, you think I’m gonna be able to get these knuckleheads together more than once?” She gestures around at the room full of still-tipsy Bantam Bar folks. They’ve coalesced around Rach and Morgan, eager to hear what their team leader has to say.
“Way I see it, you’re gonna have to. Soon as word gets back to Manhattan, the Montegos are gonna come after Camp Trin. Not sure how or when, but I know we’re gona need a line of defense. Me and my guards, we can only do so much. But with the captain of the watch and her militia, well...”
Rach laughs. She spins around to address the crowd. “You hear that? We’re a militia now!” The crowd responds with a mixture of laughs and cheers. “Guess the Warden has a point, huh? What do you say, guys? We all help keep the peace in Camp Trin on a rotating volunteer basis? And in return, we all get discounts at the Bantam Bar!” The crowd now erupts in unanimous and uproarious cheering, loud enough to almost make it feel like the chapel would cave in on itself.
Morgan pulls Rach close enough so that she can hear him in the noise. “I don’t remember saying anything about discounts at the Bantam Bar. I don’t even have the authority to--”
“What, you gonna say no to this? To your new town watch?”
Morgan shakes his head. “Well, it’s sure as hell a lot cheaper than paying a staff of this size. And we’ll need the help and protection. So, yeah, sure. I don’t know how I’ll swing it, but, don’t worry. I will.”
Cannon cuts through the throngs of people and muscles his way up to Morgan and Rach. “Yeah, I guess it turns out everything is great and everyone is happy and safe and theah’s absolutely no reason for you or anybody else to pursue chahges or to lock us back up or really do anything othah than send us on ouah merry way, probably with some knd of rewahd money ‘cause, I mean, let’s be real, we did just save the town. From bugs, from Maraudahs, and even from its own corrupt Wahden. I’m kiddin’, I’m kiddin’. I mean, I’m not, but, ya know. Yeah, we basically turned this place inside out and fixed everything, so, yeah, great to know ya, talk to ya nevah, I guess we’ah outta heah.”
Tay and Lex have joined in the middle of the huddle and they’ve both got their thumbs up in the air and the biggest smiles they can force. Morgan doesn’t look so enthused. “You hospitalized nearly my entire guard unit.”
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Cannon crosses his arms. “Yeah, well, somethin’ somethin’ eggs and omelets.”
“You set fire to the biggest residential building in town.”
“That was actually entiyahly her,” he says, pointing vigorously at Tay.
“Cannon, what the hell?” she says, jokingly shoving him. “I thought we were cool now.”
Morgan says, “You’ve made it quite clear to me that the three of you are a unit.”
“Oh, we are,” Lex says. “We definitely are. A team.”
“And everyone on a team needs to be responsible for the actions of everyone else on that team,” Morgan continues.
“Meaning...” Lex says, nodding as if to say, “Go on.”
“Meaning, I’m putting all three of you back in prison until I know what to do with you.”
“Until you know what to do with us!?” Cannon exclaims. “I’ll tell you what to do with us. Throw us a goddamn parade for savin’ this place! We saw this place fallin’ apaht, so we swooped in like a bunch of beahs and we--”
“Yeah, yep, the bears, we’ve heard about the bears,” Lex says, shoving Cannon out of the way. “Look, Morgan. Even ignoring the fact that I am and have always been the prince of New England, a fact which apparently nothing on this planet is capable of convincing you of and yet I swear is entirely true, we did save the town. I mean, these two saved the town, but, you know, I’m really the glue that keeps the team together.”
“What about your fourth teammate?” Morgan asks.
Cannon says, “Who, Hoodie? Well, yeah, she’s right ovah heah.” He points to a random spot in which Hoodie is not standing. “Wait, is she ovah theah? Theah? Huh? Hold up.” He points at himself, Lex, and Tay, counting on his fingers as he does. “Three, fouah. Yeah, we got four of us right now. Me, Lex, and Tay.”
“Cannon, that’s three.” It doesn’t even matter who says that, they’re all thinking it.
“Wheres Hoodie,” Lex asks.
Everyone looks around. There are a lot of bodies in the chapel at this point, but a person covered head to toe in a loose gray hoodie and scraps of cloth would definitely stand out in the crowd. No matter how hard they look, though, nobody can find her.
“She didn’t really seem like one for a post fight celebration,” Tay said. “Not really the talking type.”
Lex says, “I don’t think we’ve really debriefed on this, but do we have any idea who she is?” They all shake their heads.
Morgan says, “Well, if she ever shows her face in this town again, she’s gonna have to answer to me.”
Lex says, “She literally helped us. She’s a good guy.”
“If she’s a good guy then she won’t have an issue telling me who she is. This town doesn’t need a vigilante running around. And as for you three. The law dictates that you all stand trial so we can appropriately punish you for your crimes.”
Rach puts her hand on Morgan’s shoulder. “My guy, you gotta chill the hell out. Without these three, you probably wouldn’t have enough people in town to make up a jury. Can’t you just not be a dick? Just this once?”
“I’m not a dick.”
“You’re kinda being a dick right now.”
“Rach, I’ve been making exceptions for far too long on behalf of the Montego family, and I can tell you right now that I’m done with exceptions. Right is right, law is law. These three have been in cahoots to violate several laws, which means they need to face justice. I don’t care if this kid is the prince or not, the prince isn’t above the law.”
“Morgan. Come on.”
The Warden does a quick survey of the room. The Bantam Bar folk are happy. Daisy is tied up and unconscious. The Marauders have all been apprehended. The chapel itself isn’t in good order, but pretty much everything else is. He sighs. “Right is right and law is law. But, I’m certainly going to have my hands full here for a while dealing with all of the fallout. So, if you guys were to all get out of town right this very second, well, then I guess you’d have a head start on me.”
Lex purses his lips. “Is that-- Are you telling us to go?”
“I’m telling you that, whether you leave or not, it’s my duty as a lawman to come find you, and you’d be pretty damn stupid to stick around and make my job easy.”
“Right, okay, but so you’re saying that if we leave now, you’re not gonna follow us?”
“I’m saying I’m not going to follow you yet.”
Rach says, “You guys, I got a feeling that that’s about as much as you’re gonna get from him. If I were you, I’d take it and run. Literally, you should start running.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Lex says.
“Sounds good to me,” Tay agrees.
“Let’s get outta heah.”
The three of them sprint out of the chapel. Once they get outside, their pace slows. After the events of the night, the breeze has never felt so refreshing. As they walk towards the northern district, they see that the fire at the apartment complex has been put out. The complex doesn’t look great, but the brickwork did a decent job of holding up to the heat.
None of the three of them say anything to each other for the entire walk to the gates of Camp Trin. Once they get there, they all stop and look at each other. “So,” Lex says, “Where are you guys gonna do now?”
“Not sure,” Tay says. “Can’t go back to the Marauders. Not that I’d want to even if I could. For the first time in a long time, I can do what I want. Feels good.” She smiles. “Kind of want to go to Candyland.”
“Oh hell yeah!” Cannon agrees. “Nevah been to Candyland but I always wanted to.”
“Want to come?”
“Oh hell no,” Cannon disagrees. “You got any idear how much business I missed out on gettin’ caught up in this shit? These pizzas don’t make themselves, kid. I’m headin’ home. Nevah takin’ anothah delivery to this whack ass town again, tell ya that much.”
Lex nods. “Mhmm, mhmm, Candyland, home, yup, yup. Both good answers, but both wrong.”
“Excuse me?”
“Beg youah pahdon?”
“Yeah. See, thing is, I still gotta get down to Atlantis. Aaaand my original bodyguard is unfortunately out of the picture. But, lucky for me, I’ve got two better bodyguards right here.”
Tay looks around. “Where?”
Cannon shrugs. “I don’t see any bodyguahds.”
Lex rolls his yes. “Come on. Think about it. Cannon, are you really gonna go back to just making pizza after what you did here? You’re a bad ass! A hero! I’m sure your pizzas are great, but you could be doing so much more. Why keep yourself cooped up in one tiny part of the globe. You could make pizzas all up and down the coast! And I’m sure you’ve heard that there’s more than juts bugs out there. Imagine what some of the other monsters taste like. I heard Atlantis has these things called gators. Scales, huge teeth, and tails that can snap your body in half.”
Cannon begrudgingly nods. “That does sound tasty as hell.”
“And Tay,” Lex continues. “You’re free to start a whole new life. You could start doing good for a change. You won’t have to listen to what the Marauders say ever again. I know we only just met, but, I mean, come on. I’m not crazy, right? This here? The three of us? This is family, you guys. Tay, this could be what you’ve wanted for so long. A family of people who don’t like going around killing people. Doesn’t that sound fun?”
Tay crosses her arms. She bobs her head back and forth like a bobble head, chewing on Lex’s meaty words. She purses her lips. “What did you say happened to your last bodyguard?”
Lex slaps her comment away. “Who even cares about that? The only important thing is that together, the three of us can do anything. We already saved Camp Trin, who knows what else we could do? The good deeds we can accomplish?”
“Does seem kinda like the average lifespan of youah bodyguahds ahn’t very long.”
“We’d be unstoppable,” Lex continues. “We don’t even have to even a little bit worry about being stopped, because the three of us? Together? Couldn’t be done. Couldn’t be stopped. What happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object? That’s us. We’re the force and the object. Unstoppable.”
Cannon laughs. “Kid, you’ah a prince. You gotta work on youah speeches.”
Tay chuckles. “What do you need to do down in Atlantis, anyway?”
Lex snarls. “I’m going to kill Hades.”
Cannon and laugh laugh even harder, sharing good natured slaps on the back with each other. When they see that Lex’s snarl has sagged a little bit into a pathetic little pout, they stop. Tay says, “No, Lex, seriously. What business do you have down in Atlantis?”
Lex doesn’t say anything.
Cannon says, “Kid, no, you ahn’t serious.”
Lex nods.
“The Hades?” Tay asks. “The guy who waged a ruthless war campaign across hundreds of miles? The guy who’s responsible for the deaths of upwards of a million people? The guy who calls himself a god and rules over the largest swath of land on the continent? That Hades?”
“I heahd he’s got a zoo of monstahs,” Cannon says. “People say he collects ‘em up like they were mahbles or somethin’. Dude’s got somethin’ wrong with in his brain. He’s worse than the Maraudahs by like a thousand, and way moah powahful. Kid, you kiddin’ us?”
“My father says he’s going to offer his troops to the Seven Cities. If he does, they’ll lead a crusade against New England that we won’t be able to stop. We already know that the Montegos are slimy little pieces of doodoo, I don’t wanna know what’ll happen when the other six York crime families get their hands on Hades’s resources. The death toll would be uncountable, and that’s just from the war.
I know people have their issues with my father, but New England is a paradise compared to Seven Cities. You apparently already know who Hades is, and you now have a bit of an idea of how awful the Montegos are. Imagine if six other extremely powerful and brutal crime families had access to Hades and his troops. They’d create a nation based on suffering and corruption. I can’t let that happen.”
Cannon scratches his head. “So, I get it. That would be bad, I don’t want that to happen. But you’ah tellin’ me that you, you,” he says again, looking at Lex up and down, “You’ah the guy who’s gonna kill the crazy powahful dictatah and save the day?”
Lex nods cheerfully. “It’ll be easier with some help. I figure we can get more people along the way. Add to the family.”
Cannon looks at Tay. “What do you make of this?”
“Well, it sounds pretty important. Sounds equally stupid and suicidal. But, I’ve got a lot of penance to do. Lot of right to do after all the wrong I’ve done with the Marauders. So, yeah. I’m in. Long as we can hit Candyland on the way back up.”
Cannon shrugs. “Atlantis is fah as fuck away from heah. Like, fuckin’ faaahhh. You guys ah gonna need some good eats on youah way down theah. And protection from the bugs and gatahs and whatever othah kinda weiahd stuff there is out theah. So, yeah, alright, I’ll help you out.”
Lex beams. It looks like his smile is about to jump right off of his face and start puking rainbows and unicorns. The kid looks like he’s just done about a pound of ecstasy and he can’t wait for another hit. “Long walk. We’d better get going. Next stop, Atlantis!”