It's true that I don't want anyone to think I'm here, well I'm saying this because I'm just a burden to them.

I placed my pen in my book and closed it.

I stretched my arms and looked at the window.

"ah it's already morning"

I sighed, picking up my book, I placed it at the cabinet.

then I went to my bed to sleep.

Suddenly the door to my room flew wide open, together with a man who was screaming.

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOCKS!?"

He was a brusque and impatient man.

"I'll go find it"

I got up and search through the basket with socks.

"Here it is Father"

He took it, left and closed the door.

I went to my bed again.

A few minutes later...

The door to my room opened with a creak sound and a woman glanced at me.

"Come, Let's eat."

"I'll eat later Mother"

"Then did you feed the pets?"

"Uhmm no?"

"Okay I'll go"

I got up and went to the kitchen, I prepared our pet's food and fed them.

After finishing up I went to bed again.

There was silence but then there was a noise of someone walking.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

"Here we go again" I thought.

The door opened slightly and A fat man called out to me in a low bass voice.

"Can you clean the dishes? I have work to go to and I'm already late, can you do it?"

"Fine..."

He walked out leaving the door open.

I got up again, I remembered I didn't eat so I got some rice and ate leftovers from last night, after that I washed the dishes and went to bed again.

You may say that I'm not a burden to my family, but really I am.

When I was a child, I didn't really do anything productive, due to having an immature mind even though I was 15 at that time, I embarassed myself anywhere I go.

I feel them looking at me.

I feel them saying things to me.

I feel them laughing at me.

but it's all in the past, I've changed to an anxious kid into a responsible adult once I stepped at the age of 18, yet because of that, I finally felt the responsibility and the heaviness of understanding things, It isn't what I wanted to do but the society made me bear it.

I did my best and handled everything I can, I was moving myself very fast in order to improve what I can do.

They didn't see my hardwork as a thing to be proud of but a thing that is normalized to a person who didn't even passed in highschool in other words, a 21 year old who was useless and leeches off in a family should just ...*sigh*

My life is really meaningless.

I was broken and depressed yet I can't die yet, I believe in God who is with me always, atleast I have someone who cares for me.

Because when we die, all our hardwork, wealth, Loved ones with fade from our minds and our souls will be judge accordingly to what we have done and sent off either to heaven or hell.

That is my belief.

But when I woke up, I realized my body was too stiff, I didn't panic and calmly move my body, yet nothing seems to move, I wanted to shout yet I can't, something was immobilizing me, but I can't think of anything except from sleep paralysis but I was awake I didn't know enough so I concluded that it was that.

My stomach was aching and I felt something leaked out from it and entered my body, I felt nauseous and I wanted to throw up but I can't move.

I wanted to breathe yet something was clogging my air pathways, there was something that spilled out of my mouth, it was my blood.

I recalled what I ate and did yesterday or the day before.

I only ate fried fish and rice.

I then returned to my room and wrote a story that's been bothering me in my mind.

I didn't sleep until it was morning but I was awakened a few times and I ate before going to bed.

*Slaps myself in the head* In my thoughts

I guess it is possible to die when you have a full stomach, I did keep it in mind but I wad too tired and I was depressed so I ate a lot and slept a lot too. My self awareness failed me again, As always this is how it turns out.

Perhaps I'm pretty lucky or not, to be alive right now but it's just a matter of time before I'll be at my second life whether it is with God or In hell with Satan.

I closed my eyes and waited for my death.

I'm not really afraid of death.

I've been thinking about it many times in my life.

I know that

It will all soon pass away...

and I will be free from all these pain.

I'm just tired.

After a minute of spilling blood I went pale and my vision went black.