Sleep came to them very little that night.
Rachael was at least able to sleep just a bit more than Taryn, which made her grateful that her friend could rest even if it meant having to cry until exhaustion took her to sleep.
When she had entirely fallen asleep, Taryn slowly got up and silently made her way toward the tray of food and looked at it. Stone cold, she examined the food.
She wasn’t about to eat any of it. At least not tonight, for it could have been tampered with in some way, shape or form. Still, she wasn’t about to test it. The last thing she needed was to be asleep for another whole day when the police returned.
“Don’t eat food you don’t know where it came from.”
“Be wary of those whom you believe in having involvement or ill intent.”
“Don’t show what you know; play dumb as if unaware.”
“Ask questions if need be.”
“Collect information that could be of use.”
“Always know ways for a quick escape.”
Words from her uncle, her grandfather, father and mother, and Isabella came through her mind like a checklist as she looked at the food with a narrowed gaze. Before writing a quick note of apology for not eating anything, and placed it along with the tray in the hallway and silently closed the door.
She paused when hearing the sound of the tray being moved, followed by the soft movement of feet. Peaking out into the hall using her compact, she caught a glimpse of the one who had taken the tray. It was Toya, wearing a kimono she presumed he wore to sleep, which was rather plain eggshell white in comparison to what Taryn and Rachael wore.
Had he been there the whole time? Had he followed them?
She clutched the compact close to her chest as she closed the sliding door; she didn’t feel like they were followed when they first left the room that night. Recalling the painting made her stomach lurch. And now made her question his actions towards her.
She always hated to believe that a person’s act of kindness was a preventive motive for something else entirely. Even though she was still cautious about what people knew of her, Taryn would rather see the good in others regardless of their background. Like with all those she had met in her life before this.
Letting out a breath, Taryn moved back to the futon, laying next to Rachael; Taryn felt her grasp Taryn’s left hand in her sleep as she pulled the covers over them both, holding Rachael’s hand with her other and closed her eyes in the hopes to get some sleep.
The following morning was when Taryn discovered another tray of food for them both with a note left atop a covered bowl of sweet rice porridge.
The note was written in Japanese; it read:
I have made sure it has not been tampered with in any way. I understand your unease, but you must keep up your strength. Please, I do not wish for you to fall ill.
Kitsutsuki Toya.
So, he knew that I thought it was tampered with. Taryn thought as she looked at the note with a faint frown.
“Something wrong with the food, Taryn?” Rachael asked, already eating her food, unaware of what Taryn believed might have happened.
Taryn discreetly put the note in the sleeve of her robes and picked up the other bowl to eat that had been given to for her and Rachael. “No, it’s nothing.” And began to eat, all the while a nagging feeling prodded in the back of her mind. After taking the first bite, waiting for five minutes with each portion to see if anything would happen, only to nothing change, she wondered why that was the case.
Was the food not supposed to be tampered with? Did someone go rogue when she slept for nearly a whole day? Was that not supposed to happen?
That same nagging feeling persisted even as she looked out to one of the gardens in the early morning. Her blue eyes looking down at the koi in the pond almost listlessly as she remained crouched along the ground, as the wind sent the leaves in the nearby trees rustling.
She glanced to her left in her reflection, for the briefest moments she thought to have seen June, but the moment she blinked, the woman was gone.
“The longer you stare at the pond, some of the staff might think you’ll fall in.” Toya’s voice came from her right as she glanced at his reflection. “Were you able to eat this morning?”
“I did, but it’ll be a while before I can even eat normally,” she lied partly. It did take her a considerable effort to not vomit the food out of that persistent nagging feeling. “Not much I can do about it. Hunger, regardless of how I feel, won’t really come to me.” Which was true; she had to force herself to eat when Roy was killed. Yet, when she ate this morning, it didn’t bother her as much. It might have been because she was prioritizing survival, then grief, to get through this and come out the other side alive.
“I understand that feeling,” he said as he knelt beside her, arms resting on knees as he looked at her. “I was very much the same when I lost my family. It’s why I could relate to you so well when you broke down crying in my arms.”
He wasn’t lying about that, at least from what she could tell.
She pushed some strands of her hair out of her face as she kept her eyes on the fish; Rachael wasn’t too far, sitting on the Engawa drawing while also trying to get a signal with her phone. With her there, Taryn wondered briefly if Toya would change at all if she mentioned something. Something that might shake him into confirming or denying her thoughts.
“I received a text from my parents,” Taryn said as she continued to stare at the koi. “They need me to come back home immediately.”
“Oh?”
She paused, noting the faint change in his tone but continued. “Yeah, something with the court proceeding. I’m needed back right away for the retrial.”
“Is that so,”
“It is, they don’t know about the murder or my attack yet. But if they had, they’d be here within a heartbeat. Demanding to know and see everything.” She glanced at him. “I can only imagine the horror show you’d have to deal with if I was the one found dead instead of Robert. What they would do, and not just my parents either… they’d rip this place apart, piece by piece until they got those behind it.” their eyes met as her and his expressions remained blank, not the slightest of change. “Can you picture it?”
He was silent, breaking eye contact first to look at the fish as his long hair fell over his shoulder, obscuring his face from her view. “I cannot.” He says as he grasps his hands together. “But I can assure you that they would not be alone in that sentiment. I would not wish for something like that to happen to you.”
She looked back at the fish. “I feel the same way; it shouldn’t have happened at all. It shouldn’t have happened to Robert, but it did. And nothing can be changed about it now.” There was a moment’s pause. “Why do you think the Doll killed Robert?”
Toya remained where he was, a long moment of silence between them before he finally spoke. “Perhaps it saw him as an obstacle? One that blocked what it truly wanted.”
“And what do you think the Doll wanted?”
Another silent moment. “Why are you asking all these questions?”
“To understand,” she says without missing a beat. “I want to know the “why” of this. Even if I may never get a full answer that might just lead to more questions. You could say it runs in the family. We want to know the truth, even if it’s an answer we might not like. The truth of things is never pretty after all.”
“No, I suppose it’s not.” He agreed, before looking back over to Taryn. “If you were to find the Doll, what would you do?”
She was the one who became silent next, wrapping her arms around her keens as she watched the endless swirl of the koi. “I don’t know,” and she meant it. “I don’t know what I’d do. I might try to fight it, or I might try to catch it, drag it to the light of the world. I might run from it, barricade it within whatever place it was in at the time. Or… I might kill it.”
He looked at her thoroughly, a very faint, but visible, look of surprise rested on his features.
“That’s the morbid part of me talking, but I meant what I said. I don’t know what I’d do until the moment hit.” Much like everything else in my life.
“You don’t seem the killing type.”
“I’m not,” she looked at her hands, and again for a brief moment, she saw blood on them. Now, though, she wasn’t sure if she was visualizing Roy’s or Robert’s. “But when you’re pushed back against a wall, a person will do unexpected things. These days many are quick to resort to violence, and while I don’t like it, I know that in certain instances, people will do what they think in their mind is right. Even if they come to regret it later.”
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Another moment of silence. “Have you?” Toya asked. “Have you regretted something you’ve done?”
She glanced up at the trees in the distance, over the high fence. “Hasn’t everyone?”
He followed her gaze as the wind picked up faintly. He pushed some strands of his long hair behind his ear, revealing the long earring he always wore before glancing back her way, changing the topic. “There’s something I need to talk to you about, but in a more private setting. Would that be all right?”
Rachael’s brows furrowed as she looked at them and slowly closed her sketchbook.
“You mean, right now?” Taryn asked.
“Yes, may I?”
Taryn went quiet, trying to determine if he intended to do something, but when she saw his face, his expression looked to be of sad and lonely desperation.
“I… I need a minute to myself. Please.”
“I’ll be inside. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.” He said as he stood up and left Taryn alone by the pond. When Taryn stood, stretching the muscles in her nearly asleep legs, Rachael came over.
“You don’t plan to actually go with him, do you?” only to get her answer when seeing Taryn’s face. “Oh my god, you do…”
“I’m aware,”
“Are you crazy?” she then kept her voice low. “You saw the painting. You know Toya’s tied to this somehow, and now, after everything that’s happened, he wants to talk to you alone. And you’re willing to go.”
“Yeah,” she admitted, averting her gaze.
“Why?!”
“Because I don’t think that’s what this is about.” She tells her. “I know, okay? I am well aware of how dumb this is. But he has also shown genuine concern, and you know that’s real. You’ve seen it too. And whether it’s connected to the painting or not, I at least see that he cares about my well-being. Even if it makes no sense.”
“But then why go through all this? If he’s connected to the disappearances, why do it?”
“I don’t know, Rachael. I really don’t.”
Rachael thought about it for a moment. “So, what do we do?”
“The police will be returning later today to collect more information and, hopefully, get us back to Tokyo. To make sure that happens, I’ve put a failsafe in place.”
Rachael eyed her with suspicion; she did not like that tone. “What kind?”
“The not-safe kind.” She says as she placed something discreetly into Rachael’s hand when walking past her. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
“I’m timing you,” she said as Taryn merely waved back at her in response before heading inside and looking at what her friend had given. A small piece of folded-up paper, which read.
Red Hydrangeas.
Not safe was now looking like an understatement. Rachael swallowed the sudden lump that had formed in her throat, knowing what this could mean.
Taryn was willing to risk herself just to have a chance for them to escape.
* * *
When Taryn entered the mansion again, she could see Toya waiting for her, a rather solemn smile touching the edges of his lips when he saw her. And in that silence, he led her to a place to talk privately.
As they walked, Taryn’s gaze fell to one of the many windows that led to the outside; there she could see the garden with the red hydrangeas, as the feeling of dread clenched at her heart as though a hand had taken hold of it and squeezed.
“Taryn,” Toya’s soft voice drew her from the nearby window. The man was now standing at the entrance of another room, waiting for her. When he motioned her to enter, she had, as he followed, and softly closed the door.
“What is it that you wished to speak to me about in private?” Taryn asked as she turned to face him, only to see that he was kneeling on the floor. His hands in front as his head lowered to the floor.
“I never properly apologized to you, after all the events that took place. As the owner of this mansion, the harm that has befallen you and your companions. I know these are just mere words, but know I truly mean everything I say.”
Taryn could only stare at Toya’s prostrated form; this wasn’t something that she expected. He did look remorseful when she had been attacked and relieved when she was getting better. Even showing discomfort when Robert had died. But for him to apologize like this…
It’s almost like he’s admitting his involvement to me. Taryn thought. But regardless of that painting, and whether he is or isn’t… “It’s not going to change what happened.” She tells him and seeing that he visibly flinched at her words, as though she had struck him. “But they are appreciated. I’m sure a number of your staff feel the same way.” She knelt in front of him. “Could you please raise your head? I’d rather talk to you face to face than with your face to the tatami floor.”
Slowly, Toya raised his head, much like at the koi pond, he looked to be filled with desperation and sorrow.
Suspicions or not, she could only imagine what this man had gone through for him to have such a remorseful look on his face.
“I understand your feelings of guilt and the wish for things to be different.” She let out a breath. “But it’s too late for any of that now…” she trailed off when she felt his hand touch her face. When Taryn looked back at him, she could see his expression had changed. One that she couldn’t read as his thumb rubbed her cheek in a slow, gentle motion as his green eyes focused on her face as if trying to capture all of the small and intricate details.
“I know,” he agrees. “But one can still feel remorse, even if it is towards the one affected the most by it all. And the need to apologize for it outweighs anything else.”
“Have you ever felt that with anyone else?” she asked as he removed his hand and stood, offering his hand to her, which she took, only for him to then avert his gaze to a nearby window of the room and move towards it.
“Once,” he said, showing his back to her. “But it was a long time ago. Even if I were to apologize over and over, I doubt that my words would even reach them anymore.”
Taryn remained silent. Since she felt saying something could be insulting.
“There is another reason I asked to speak alone with you.” he turned around and closed the short distance between them. “I wanted to give you this.”
It was a red Gladiolus flower.
A flower that held many meanings. Strength, pride, victory and admiration. But it could also have a definition of love.
Love at first sight.
Taryn pressed her lips together in a thin line. This… wasn’t something she expected to receive from him.
The furthest thing from it.
Taryn was aware of his attraction to her; he kissed her after all. But to be shown this flower, in this situation, was honestly heartbreaking to her.
“I know it’s unorthodox, and bad timing at that. But, I would very much like for you to accept this.” He held it out to her with both hands.
“I… I can’t,” Taryn says as she took a single step back. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept it.”
The hopeful look he had become wistful. “I suppose it is a bit presumptuous to think that you would take it with all that’s happened.”
Taryn interjected. “You’re wrong, at least partly. Even if this hadn’t happened, if Robert hadn’t died or I was attacked, I still couldn’t accept it.” Her fingers interlaced together as she glanced at the flower. “The relationship that I had ended, even with it being three months since, would still feel too soon for me. Too fresh. Some are more than capable, or willing, to jump into a relationship after ending one. Regardless of how it ended, but I’m not one of them. It has nothing to do with the murders I’ve seen, but my personal feelings and morals.”
Toya ran a hand gently over the red petals of the flower as he looked at her. “You won’t take it no matter what?”
“No, I won’t.” she offered him a bow, lowering her head. “I cannot accept this.”
He was silent, saying nothing when Taryn straightened herself, seeing that he looked defeated but accepted it all the same. “It makes me wish that I could have met you sooner.”
“All the same, I barely know you.” she countered. “I’d rather know who they are before something like a romantic relationship even crosses my mind. It’s how I’ve always been.”
Toya cast a sideways glance her way. “Was it like that for him as well?”
Taryn couldn’t help but notice the slight tone of irritation when bringing up Robert but chose not to react to it. “Yes, I had known him for over four years, and even then, he was the one who suggested we date, but I think we both kind of realized that we would have been better off just staying as friends.”
“I see,” he turned away and placed the flower down atop a low dresser. “Would it be wrong of me to say that I still care for you?”
“No, I don’t think it’s wrong. But this is how I am.”
“And you are a woman who stands by your principles.” He said, his tone lighter, with his back turned to her, it made Taryn feel as though he might be smiling by the tone of his voice. “A respectable thing at that. If my mother… if she were still alive, I’m sure she would love you greatly.” He looked back at her, a wistful smile resting along his face. “You should go. I’m sure your friend is eager to have you back.”
“Thank you,” she went to leave, only to stop and look back and say. “For what it’s worth. I hope you find someone that you can love wholeheartedly, Toya. I’m sorry.” And left the room but not before hearing him say softly in response.
“As am I…”
She frowned but didn’t voice her concern, the tone of voice he used as he now looked out the window once again, was something she still couldn’t place. Her unease now returning, she picked up the pace as she walked through the halls.
Only to come to a halt when reaching the Engawa at the sudden sound of her cell phone ringing. The ringtone playing the opening theme of a Canadian-Japanese-Argentinian-made cartoon, Cybersix, hearing it nearly made her jump out of her skin.
It wasn’t from anyone she knew since she had designated separate ringtones for everyone in her contacts list. This only played when it was for general calls. What was strange about this, however, was one thing.
I had this on vibrate, why is the volume on? She thought as she went to look at the caller ID. It was a number she didn’t know of, which wasn’t a surprise. Instead, she was confused because of the area code. One that was from Japan.
With a confused frown, she answered it.
“Hello?” she spoke in Japanese. “Who is this?”
Stephanie’s quick response came through to the other line. “You answered! Thank whatever God or Gods you worship!!” Taryn quickly pulled her cell away from her ear at the volume of the woman’s voice. “I’ve been trying for so long that I began to fear the worst!”
Taryn frowned; that didn’t give her any indication as to where Stephanie might be since she didn’t recognize the number. “Stephanie, where are you calling from?”
“The Tokyo police department. That detective, Daichi Sakamoto? He gave me his phone to use when I couldn’t seem to get a hold of you with my own. He thought his phone might have a better chance of getting a connection. Glad his hunch paid off.”
“It’s honestly good to hear your voice.” Then Taryn asked. “Is there something wrong over there?”
Stephanie was silent, causing Taryn’s steps to slow as she walked. “Stephanie?”
“You were right.” She said finally. “About who to trust, I overheard some of the police, the guy in charge of the investigation. They know. They know about the mansion, and even about a few of the missing people.”
Shit. “Are you safe?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. That detective is ahead of everything and is talking with Tokyo’s Chief of Police. And the one guy who knows about it is now locked up in a storage room for the time being. But… look. That’s… that’s not why I’ve called.”
Taryn frowned as she rounded a nearby corner, almost reaching the garden with the Hydrangeas. “What did you call for then?”
“It’s about Robert.” Stephanie paused. “About his body.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. “You saw him.”
“I only saw his face,” she said quickly. “They needed me to confirm his identity, that’s all they’d show me.” She became hesitant for a moment. “Honestly, it reminded me a bit too much with my brother. It freaked me out. I thought I saw him instead of Robert for a second. How messed up is that?”
The tension in Taryn’s shoulders eased, relieved that Stephanie hadn’t seen how Robert was completely, at least these folks in Tokyo made sure not to distress the one identifying the remains. “It isn’t, far from it.”
Stephanie’s tone shifted then, becoming more serious. “Again, that’s not why I called. It’s what I overheard the people doing the autopsy that freaked me out more. They don’t know I could understand Japanese, so they spoke openly when Daichi wasn’t with me while he was dealing with that other officer.”
That same feeling of unease began to grow. “And?”
“They said something was missing from him. He…” Stephanie let out a breath, trying to collect herself and her thoughts. “Taryn, they said that his heart had been ripped out of his body while he was still alive.”