Dear Diary,
I had to cancel drinks with Kate. Jose, the maintenance guy came and got me about an hour before I was to head out and said there was someone on the lawn looking for me. He seemed pretty shook so I grabbed my protection salts before following.
I don't think I've ever seen Jose so bothered. He didn't even flinch when he had to unclog my toilet when I stupidly flushed my failed fish resurrection project. The goo I had the fish in became stickier when in contact with the building's old pipes...The fish was alive when he pulled it and the gob of now brown sludge out of my toilet.
There, at the entrance to the apartment complex, was Frosty. The snowman didn't have his scarf or his carrot nose. He did have 2 branch-like arms that were too perfect to be from trees and as I got closer I realized they were wire and clay. He fidgeted with them as Jose pushed me forward.
I wasn't really sure what to do so I just asked what he wanted. Impolite, maybe, but it wasn't like I was comfortable inviting him in. Besides, standing near him was like standing next to a blasting air conditioner. I was shivering while Jose sweated behind me in the summer sun.
The snowman told me he didn't want to be alive anymore. This statement is a little unnerving in general but even worse when it's coming from a throat that makes words by vibrating and running ice against itself. It was jarring and caused shivers down my already quaking spine.
Kill me, please. I'll be hearing those words in my dreams.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
I told Jose that I had this situation under control and thankfully he got my meaning and left us alone. I won't lie, I was a little afraid. The last thing I needed was the Snow Queen breathing down my neck for destroying her creation. But he looked so miserable even if he couldn't make any actual expressions with his coal eyes.
Hoping to get out of it, I told him I don't work for free. I figured Hoffman wasn't paying Frosty and this was a good way to end the conversation and send the thing packing. I was wrong. I was so wrong.
The snowman nodded and reached with his spindly hands into his central sphere and pulled out a chunk of snow. He then offered it to me.
I thought I was going to be sick. The creature was offering me his own flesh, as sparkly and white and cold as snow from a Hallmark movie. Part of himself was a high price to pay for death.
I relented. Damn Frosty and damn me and damn Hoffman for getting me into this.
I called Kate and told her I had to cancel, that a client came up last minute. She squealed happily and went on about how great it was that I was doing so well freelancing. "Crane Renovations is going to regret not hiring a catch like you, Bernie!"
A catch. I certainly felt caught, as snowman and I went down the road to the campus. While I'm not technically a student anymore, I don't really see a problem with me using one of the empty ritual spaces...so long as I don't get caught. Besides, what was I going to do? Murder a snowman on my apartment lawn? Coral would just love that!
I ended the snowman's misery with a basic banishment and destruction circle. The kind we use to obliterate objects with minor curses and the like. It was quick. I hope it was painless.
When he was gone, the ball of snow he left me was still intact and cold. Back here, I used the pendulum to make sure that none of his spirit, or essence, or whatever it was that made him animated and conscious was attached to it. Then I stuffed it in a jar. I might try to sell never-melting snow on ebay later.
...
My fortune cookie says:
"Success is being at peace with yourself."