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Making a Living: A Necromancer's Journal
...Gnomes are Needy, Rent is Past Due (Pt. 2/2)

...Gnomes are Needy, Rent is Past Due (Pt. 2/2)

Dear Diary,

I'm not really sure how to explain so I will start at the beginning.

I took a nap when I got back from Kyle's grandmother's garden. No I didn't take a shower and yes I still smell and will be showering soon and no I don't care what Professor Sulak would say about that right now. I was tired. I AM tired.

Did I get a proper nap? No. Instead, about an hour or so in, I was woken by an incessant tapping at my window. Now, I know I live in a basement apartment and I'm used to the various stray cats pawing but this was no cat. It was a high pitch clanging of something hard hitting the window like glass on glass.

I went and looked and there, at the window facing the street, was a small garden gnome. It's not even a proper gnome really. It's more a white ceramic beard and green pointed hat and that's it. There it was, a gnomey head, tapping on my window with the tip of his hat.

Carefully, I tapped back and it stopped and just sat there, motionless and expecting. After a while, I grabbed my bag of banishing and protection salts, and went outside to check it out.

Coral, my obnoxious neighbor glared at me but I did my best to ignore her as I asked the gnome what it wanted. It didn't say anything and after an experimental tap, I realized it wasn't a fae-gnome. It was ceramic. An animated ceramic garden gnome.

I went back inside, grabbed my pendulum (the one made from a hangman's finger bones and a saint's rosary), and went back out.

Divination with a pendulum is pretty crass compared to the elaborate rituals and workings done by the Divination majors but it is handy for anyone worth their magical salt. Helps clarify things when an entity shows up that can't or won't talk.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The key to pendulum divination is asking only yes or no questions. Limiting, yes, but straightforward and no nonsense which is more than I can say for Kyle.

Speaking of which, that is where the gnome came from. Kyle's grandmother's garden. I knew from my studies that there was always a risk of things following you home after a ritual but I expected a ghost or the resurrected to show up. Not garden ornaments!

After figuring out that it was not possessed but rather a magically animated object, I brought the gnome inside. Partly to get out from under the scornful watch of Coral. Partly because I kind of felt bad for the little guy. He apparently tip tapped all the way down from High Street and I guessed the couple of knicks along his beard were from that journey.

Inside, I clarified a few things with the pendulum and it took a good hour of back and forth before I got that the gnome only wanted attention. Apparently he'd been neglected, just like the garden, and decided to pack his proverbial bags and head my way.

I told him I'm not a gardener. Kind of the opposite really considering I took several courses in how to respectfully exhume things from the earth rather than plant them. The gnome rattle-tat-tatted on my table until I asked him to calm down.

After I made some coffee, I set back in with the pendulum. He wanted to stay, the little idiot. I relented. What is the alternative? Return him to Kyle? The bartender was likely to crush him before he could return him to his grandmother's garden.

I put the gnome in the window so he could at least see the weedy little patch between the apartment building and the sidewalk. I guess I'll have to get him a plant to guard...great. Rent is past due and I'm budgeting for an unwelcome guest. This freelance gig is not paying off very well.

...

I bought an aloe plant. The lady at the store said they were useful and hard to kill. I guess we will put that to the test...She said I will need to get it a new pot since it's outgrowing the one I bought it in. Another expense to add to the list. At least gnome-boy is happy.

I decided to name him Nevermore...because the tapping.

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