As they were leaving Dire Fortress, Roland decided to ask the question he already knew the answer to: “So wait, did you two really grow up here?”
“Those intensive studies at Sages’ Keep are really paying dividends,” sighed Mallory. “I mean obviously we did. This was the fortress of our father, Archfiend Zothis.”
“Can we cool it on the Archfiend talk?” said Nick. “Our dad was just a dude trying to figure things out. It’s hard being a single father in a medieval society. You’ve got to cut him some slack.”
“Is this some sort of comedic act?” asked Roland. “Are you serious? You are the son and daughter of Archfiend Zothis? How is that even possible?”
“We don’t do bits, Rol,” remarked Nick.
“And now that we’ve answered your questions let’s go,” said Mallory.
“Unbelievable,” said Roland as followed Nick and Mallory down the road.
Roland’s further questions were rebuffed with more irreverence.
“Didn’t they have a book on our lore in Sages’ Keep?” said Mallory at one point.
The realization that he was helping the children of the Archfiend greatly disturbed Roland. Of course, they hadn’t actually done anything yet. Further, Mallory did save his life and introduce him to magic. For the time being these facts helped him compartmentalize his building sense of dread.
***
Not long after they had been on the road, Nick gave both Mallory and Roland a mischievous look.
“I’m sure you were both wondering what’s in this case I brought,” said Nick.
“No because it’s that stupid lute you bring everywhere,” said Mallory.
“Great guess,” said Nick. “I am a man who hates to be alone with his own thoughts. So shall I entertain us with a little ballad to pass the time?”
“I’d rather chop off my own dick,” answered Mallory.
“An emphatic ‘Yes’ from my sister. Rol, do you have any deep cuts from the lute repertoire that you want to hear?”
Roland thought for a minute.
“I really only know chants and drinking songs that the Seekers would sing,” said Roland. “Do you know The Scribes’ Sorrows?”
“I knew you were a dirge kinda guy, Rol,” said Nick. “That one’s a real crowd pleaser.”
“Yeah, it brought down the house at the last funeral you played,” said Mallory.
“A gig’s a gig, Mal.”
Nick took out the lute from its case. Roland noticed that scrawled on its soundboard were the words ‘This Machine Kills Golems.’ He had read that certain rock creatures could be put to sleep by music, so maybe that wasn’t a joke. And if it was a joke, he certainly didn’t get it.
After adjusting the tuning for several minutes, Nick began the song.
“Lonely scribe, what does tomorrow bring?
Hesteria’s gaze knows only the past,
But what’s yet to be told we can sing,
Even though it will not last.
Look back at the unbroken string,
The list of all spells has been cast,
In the future your voice will ring,
And answer all the questions asked.”
This went on for 20 more verses. Whatever this song was, it was nothing like The Scribes’ Sorrows that Roland used to sing. To his ears, it sounded as if Nick was just making up the words as he went along — like it was some sort of stream of consciousness poetry. Further, it seemed like many of the later verses were just Nick singing about what he was seeing as they walked towards Bright Port. His lute playing was competent, although Roland judged it to be heavily improvised. Regardless of Roland’s criticisms, the music did make the time pass more quickly.
***
The rest of the journey to Bright Port was uneventful. In fact, Roland’s only surprise was that Mallory didn’t smash Nick’s lute. Roland practised his cantrips by cutting leaves off of trees (‘Remove Greaves’) or shaking branches that were far out of reach (‘Small Avalanche’). The novelty of these cantrips still impressed Roland, despite how useless they seemed to be and how absurd the power words were.
If Dire Fortress had been a major disappointment for Roland, then Bright Port was the opposite. The sprawling coastal city was alive with all sorts of commerce as ships entered and left the harbour. It also contained some very elaborate architecture and Roland had never seen such colourful paint used on the exterior of buildings. It was nothing like the austere appearance of Sages’ Keep or the weathered, simple look of Pigfall.
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“Some of my old frat brothers got a house together on the Bright Port shore after college,” said Nick. “You know, to keep the party going. Enjoy that yacht life. The guy that works with Talon lives there.”
After they had gotten their rooms at one of the larger inns in Bright Port — and Nick had put up all of his Farmers Market flyers in the great square — they headed over to see Nick’s friends.
As soon as they entered the shore house, a shirtless, muscular man yelled out “Cutter!”
He walked over to Nick making a V-sign his hand while sticking his tongue through the two fingers that formed the V.
Nick turned to Roland, “That’s a pantomime for eating pussy, or cunnilingus as it’s more formally known.” Nick then turned to the man and gave him a high-five.
“Rol this is Jace,” said Nick, introducing the man with no shirt. “Like you Rol, Jace is a master of nuanced wordplay.”
“Yeah, we used to call Nick ‘The Box Cutter’ — ‘cause he loved eating pussy,” said Jace.
“I think you actually called me ‘Nick Tongue’ for most of undergrad, but that was because you mistakenly thought my last name was ‘Young,’” said Nick. “I guess you just misheard ‘Beldergast’ as ‘Young.’ Happens to a lot of people.” Looking at Roland again Nick added, “I guess you aren’t the only hedge wizard in our group.”
“This is some groundbreaking humour right here,” said Mallory. “Write this stuff down Rol.”
“Hey Mal, did you hear?” said Jace as he looked at her with a huge smile on his face. “Mason and Emily aren’t together anymore, so you might finally have a shot.”
“Eat shit Jace,” said Mallory. “You ever cure that VD you got from raw dogging a passed-out stripper?”
“Damn Cutter, your little sister still only knows one spell and that’s FIRE.”
“Actually, we’re looking for Tanner,” said Nick.
“No kidding,” said Jace. “He’s at work — but he’ll be back for the party tonight. You gonna come? It won’t be a bro down. I know you gotta eat.”
“For sure, your boy’s gotta eat,” said Nick.
After a few shots, Mallory and Roland returned to the inn that they were staying at while Nick stayed behind to ‘chop it up’ with Jace. Mallory had given Roland an outline of the plan for how they would deal with Talon, but he needed to perform a rather unusual cantrip that required significant trial and error.
***
By the time Roland was finished with the spell to Mallory’s satisfaction, it was nearly time to go back to the shore house. Roland wasn’t looking forward to this party. Jace seemed like a genuine asshole and his friends weren’t likely to be much different. However, when they returned, he found the atmosphere to be similar to so-called ‘study retreats’ at Sages’ Keep where scribes would stay up all night drinking around a campfire deep in the woods. The main difference here was that there were actually girls present. Nick got along well with everyone. In between snorting lines of something called ‘Full Moon Dust,’ he entertained people with lute playing and engaged in some deep conversations about modern art.
Mallory seemed to enjoy smoking whatever was in a pipe that several of Nick’s friends were passing around. She also embarrassed the same group by handily beating them at both darts and a game that was similar to darts but involved throwing axes. Roland mostly kept to himself drinking beer. It wasn’t as good as the beer the Seekers used to make, but they had access to all the recipes that had been recorded in Relmgard. It suddenly occurred to him that all of those recipes were now lost. The next chance he got; he should write down as much as he could remember.
Roland also kept his eye out for Mason but didn’t overhear anyone mention that name. Maybe that was some inside joke between Jace and Mallory that he would never know the explanation for. He certainly wasn’t going to mention that name in front of Mallory again, although she did seem to be in a genuinely good mood tonight.
Finally, late into the evening Tanner showed up. Apparently, he was now Talon Tabor’s right-hand man. He seemed very friendly with Nick and said they could meet Talon tomorrow afternoon at the bobble races.
Perhaps thinking that Roland was some country hick, Tanner explained that “Bobbles are slime-like monsters that adventurers use to kill — or ‘grind’ — for experience and gold. Cute little things.”
Roland knew all of this, of course, although he’d never actually seen a bobble. While they are one of the few monsters that can still be found in Relmgard, they no longer exist in the wild. Now, they are bred in captivity and used for racing.
What Roland did learn, though, was that Tanner and Talon had constructed a giant bobble-themed park called ‘the Big Bobble’ where the Bright Port races took place. That’s where they’d go tomorrow to meet Talon.
As the night was winding down, Mallory whispered to Roland, “Hope you drank something better than that cheap beer. There’s a good chance the three of us we’ll be dead by this time tomorrow.”
***
At lunch the next day, the trio went over their plan one final time and then headed off to meet Tanner and go to the Big Bobble. It was appropriately named as the structure was simply a giant blue cube that looked like a bobble. As the group approached it, a patron that was leaving exclaimed “I knew it'd be big, and I knew it'd look like a bobble but ... Wow!”
“Why would you make a two-hundred-foot-high bobble?” asked Roland, seemingly to no one.
“Because it’s fun?” said Mallory. “Geez.”
Once inside, they passed a gift shop selling bobble theme merchandise that included: bobble hats, bobble pennants, bobble slap bracelets (wearable bands that are no passing fad), bobble key chains, bobble plushies, ‘I saw the Big Bobble’ iron on patches (put them on your favorite shirt to let strangers know that you've seen the Big Bobble), and packs of bobble trading cards (the outside of the pack claimed that these were limited edition collector's items).
However, the largest crowd was around the ‘Bobble Tea’ booth. These teas were available in both normal and king sizes. Roland looked at the menu of teas: Classic Blue Tea, Pallet Swapped Red Tea, Slippery Silver Leaf Tea, and Babbley Green Tea.
There was also a sign that said potential franchisees should talk to Tanner.
After grabbing some tea, Tanner took them up to Talon’s luxury box. That’s where they’d watch the races today. As they entered, Roland was struck by the gaudy decorations. At the far end of the long, rectangular room were a few couches and chairs facing the windows that looked down onto the racetrack. Sitting in one of the chairs was Talon Tabor, arms merchant and member of the Chosen. The man they were here to kill. He stared at the trio as they walked across the room. Roland’s heart began to sink. Talon did not look happy to see them.