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Magic Murder Cube Marine
Chapter 21: The Way Forward

Chapter 21: The Way Forward

As if by magic, the delegation from the kingdom of Grumble showed up the next day. Francis suspected that either his organization, or one of the other groups involved, had sprung a leak. He would have to ask Miller (or rather Graybeard) to look into it.

Things did not get off to a good start. Ambassador Rhinos began by insulting Willow and insisting that he would only deal with Francis directly. After that, he immediately tried to strongarm them into joining the kingdom.

Within the first ten minutes of talking with the scrawny man, Francis found himself wondering if the Ambassador was trying to start a war. Five minutes later, he knew for sure that they were. Either that, or the man was truly incompetent.

In a way, it made sense. The kingdom needed an enemy to fight, and Brexis was conveniently close by. The fact that the city was associated with Necromancy was just the cherry on top. It didn't matter that a war with Brexis would almost inevitably cost them more than leaving the city alone.

The more the man talked, the more Francis found himself siding with the orcs. At least their plan was well thought out, and achievable. The Ambassador, on the other hand, seemed almost delusional.

The Marine had assumed that Lord Kelvin was an outlier, a random beacon of greed and incompetence. After talking with the Ambassador, Francis suspected that the whole kingdom was equally rotten. Or at least, that the lords and politicians were.

Francis’ thoughts wandered as the Ambassador blabbered on about ancestral territories and back taxes. Prior to his visit, the Marine had been leaning towards remaining neutral and letting the two factions duke it out. Now the only thing stopping him from setting the capital on fire himself was the fact that innocent civilians lived there.

He wondered if Hank had some kind of bomb that only affected rich landowners and politicians. Francis knew that the kobold would at least be willing to try, though finding targets to test it out on could be problematic. The Marine decided to save that idea for later.

Noticing Francis’ glazed expression, the Ambassador snapped his thin fingers. “Are you even paying attention?” he asked.

“No,” the Marine replied.

***

The core trio met in secret below the palace. Francis had chosen a way forward. Despite the disastrous visit from the Ambassador, it had been Chuck that solidified the decision for him.

In the kingdom of Grumble, Chuck wasn't legally considered a person. Awakened beasts had no legal rights there, and the other non-humans weren't much better off. Unless someone was rich, or a member of the Adventure Guild, the most they could hope for was to be left alone.

Even if Chuck wasn't his friend, there were other reasons why equality was important. According to the Immortal Revenant Service, a full third of Brexis' residents were non-humans. He couldn't ally himself with a nation that treated his people like shit.

“I've decided that Brexis will remain neutral, assuming that nothing major changes,” Francis said.

Chuck had some questions. As their Treasurer he was obligated to try and make an extra buck whenever possible. “What about selling equipment? I'd hate to lose out on experience and money. It's like getting the worst of both worlds.”

Willow held up her hand. “I may have a way around that. The delegation from the Western Wilds had expressed an interest in purchasing boats and siege weapons. We won't give them to the orcs directly, but nobody can fault us for selling equipment to a third party.”

Francis was still uneasy about selling weapons he knew would be used on civilians. But if push came to shove, he would do it. “Let's stick with the boats for now. That should get the orcs up north out of Evandrel's hair.”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Oh, I can live with that,” Chuck said, “We have more than enough timber from Stompy’s rampage, and the facilities to process it.”

“Plus, it will create jobs and let us set coins aside for the future,” Willow added, “I've been doing some digging and asking around the other temples. It looks like Grumble is fucked, no matter what we do. There is some kind of divine war brewing and the kingdom is going to be smack dab in the middle of it.”

The Marine felt something click in his head. “So, Hades' tiff with Zeus wasn't a one off.”

“Exactly,” the Death Cleric confirmed, “Every few hundred years the gods duke it out to divide up territory and see whose cock is the biggest. Fighting through champions limits the damage, but a few cities usually get destroyed.”

“That doesn't sound good for us,” Chuck pointed out.

Willow made a face. “It is, and it isn't. Nobody wants to screw with the Memetic Pantheon because we punch above our weight, and the other gods like Swan tend to be extremely vindictive. No god wants their city to have a ‘happy little accident’ because they pissed off some dude with a paintbrush.”

Francis neglected to mention that Willow also had a reputation for killing gods that crossed her. Even if they managed to take her out, Willow would make it her mission in life to destroy them when she reincarnated. The Death Cleric only had to get lucky once, her targets needed to keep their guard up for the rest of time.

He rubbed her shoulder affectionately. “You're pretty sexy, for a nuclear deterrent.”

The Death Cleric gave him a look of confusion. “Uh, thanks?”

***

Once the others were gone, Francis pulled Hank aside. The kobold had warded the room against scrying and stood watch outside while they talked. Now, it was time for Hank to get his orders.

The Marine gave Hank a long look. “I’ve got a gut feeling that Grumble is going to do something stupid. That's why I need you to get started on a secret project for me.”

The kobold stood ramrod straight. “Oh? What kind of project?”

“The kind that goes boom,” Francis said, “If the idiots downriver try to fuck with us I want to be in a position to strike back. Or at least, to supply the orcs so they can do it for us.”

Hank tried to play it cool. But he was practically salivating at the chance to make some weapons of mass destruction. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can do that.”

“Good. Hopefully we won't have to use them. But it's better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them.” The Marine let out a sigh. “You're going to go totally overboard, aren't you?”

“Of course not,” the kobold lied, schematics already multiplying in his twisted little brain, “Why would you even say such a thing?”

***

King Laurence of Grumble had never been one to waste points on mental stats. So far, it had worked out wonderfully for him.

While the rulers of the neighboring kingdoms dropped like flies, Laurence had enjoyed decades of job security. The closest he had come to danger was when an assassin stabbed him by accident.

The man had apologized profusely and given Laurence an antidote. If the guards hadn't cut the intruder to pieces, he probably would have died from embarrassment. Apparently there had been a mix-up because both men had red hair and were sleeping with the queen.

Over at the big table the lords were arguing. Laurence tried to ignore them as he worked on a particularly complicated wooden puzzle. It had taken him six months, but he was almost finished. (Which he viewed as quite the triumph, considering that the box had given a range of two to four years.)

Laurence was joined by his wife a little later in the evening. “Have you seen my son?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Mason is still missing, but I'm sure he'll turn up eventually. Nobody has tried to ransom him lately, not since the incident.”

“What a shame. We could have used the extra money,” the King said with a shake of his head. The last group of kidnappers had gotten so desperate that they ended up paying Laurence to take the prince back. They were still paying off the loan. But according to the kidnappers, it was absolutely worth it.

A low rumble of thunder distracted the King from his reverie. He looked up to see a tall, pale man in a black robe standing over him. Laurence couldn't quite place the figure, but he knew they were important. Perhaps this was the new pastry chef his wife has been talking about?

Hades gave a short bow. “Hello, King Laurence.”