Baron felt very uncomfortable stuffed in his cluttered office with this large, weird, intense man.

The office felt so small with this guy in it. It had seemed a perfectly reasonable size just minutes before.

The visitor had introduced himself as a monk, but in the stress of the unexpected visit Baron had missed the specifics. Judging by his thick wrap around robe and wooden beads Baron thought he might be a buddhist of some kind, but what did he know about monks? Were buddhist monks this big? They didn’t usually have big red beards did they? Why was he so bulky? Maybe he was one of those Kung Fu monks. Was that a real thing? Were there big ginger kung fu monks in Sydney?

He felt a little embarrassed at how shabby his office looked. He was aware that the photo on their website showed a much more professional workspace. That photo was taken from the real estate website they used when they rented it. It didn’t show the treasures and filth that his small company had accumulated in the two years since signing the lease. The polished wooden floor, so full of potential when they moved in, was now populated with two rancid smelling couches, a detached door on trestle legs acting as a desk, piles of unidentifiable electronic equipment connected by multiple snaking cables, boxes and boxes of video cameras, dusty monitors, and too many take away boxes and dirty dishes.

Why had this guy come into the office? Why did everyone else have to be late on the one day a potential client comes in? No one ever visits the office. Baron smiled at the large monk, whose name he had already forgotten. The monk stared at him impassively. It was very disconcerting that this large man was so still. He resisted the temptation to fire off another text telling his two absent colleagues to ‘OFFICE NOW!’ and wondered if the monk had noticed the wet dog stank the office had developed over the years, despite the absence of a dog.

The uncomfortably silent sitting had gone on too long and Baron was losing the fight with his urge to babble to fill in the space.

‘So Mr, uh, Mr. You realise we don’t do magic security as in we use magic to do security right? We do security against magical stuff.’

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

Baron suddenly remembered he had been yelled out for saying this to clients before.

‘I mean we do use magic of course, like real cool proprietary stuff. It’s very clever and secret. But like we mainly use all the computers and cameras and stuff. That is we use all the computers and stuff to do security against magic. That stuff’ He waved vaguely at the big pile of stuff.

This was awful.

What if he asked him what the stuff did? Baron didn’t know. He was in charge of social media.

There was something fully off about this guy. Even ignoring his whole weird muscle monk thing, it was odd how he was so calm but radiated a weird kind of nervous energy, as if he was full of chaos just below the skin..

The monk spoke.

‘Yes, this is why I’m here.’

He sounded maybe … Scottish?

With a loud bang the other two thirds of Baron’s company kicked open the door and tumbled into the room, their arms loaded with pastries and coffee.

‘Thank God,’ Baron said, accidentally out loud.

Carrying the pastries was Thomas, a small man with a tangle of thick unwashed curls. Holding the coffee was Amy, a large woman, also with thick curls, but washed.

‘Whose this guy?’ said Amy, like a true professional.

‘Good morning.’ the monk said. ‘I am Gregor. I am a brother at the monastery of Saint Enos.’

Gregor! Baron made an effort to remember his name. Gregor, the monk. Baron looked at Amy, hoping she would take charge of the whole awkward situation. But Amy did not look like she was about to take charge. Despite apparently not knowing who the big monk was, Amy looked increasingly like she desperately wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

She opened her mouth, then paused, mouth still open. She backed away, hands on her stomach, her face suddenly very white. The monk sat passively, as he had for the whole time since he entered the office. Amy stepped back, closed her mouth and looked around as if startled. She grimaced.

She looked physically ill, clammy, pale. She looked scared. Amy opened her mouth again.

‘No thank you.’