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Greg

‘Who’s this guy?’ blurted Amy.

‘Good morning,’ the monk said. ‘I am Gregor. I am a brother at the monastery of Saint Enos.’

The word ‘Enos’ sounded very made up to Thomas. He looked at Amy and saw her normally olive face had gone a deep white. Amy’s spidey sense had gone haywire, her skin prickling, stomach churning, bile rising in her throat. She felt extremely unsettled, like something very very bad was about to happen. She searched for an exit strategy that would hide her panic. Unable to find one, she spat out ‘No thank you.’ and grabbed Thomas by the belt pulling him backwards through the door back into the stairwell.

Thomas took in Amy’s bloodless face. ‘Is someone doing magic?’

‘Ugh probably, but no … this is different. I’m not sure what’s going on … that guy is full of magic, he stinks of it. I mean that’s not exactly it, but it’s like he’s loaded with it, but it isn’t maybe doing anything yet? Just sort of sitting there being annoying. But it’s too much, I can’t go back in there.’

‘How can someone be full of magic? We can’t just leave Baron in there, he’s not great with regular customers let alone massive ginger ones stuffed with magic. Also Amy, we need a job. We are going to feel the loss of that mall job. We need money.’

Amy’s nervous system started to level out. She breathed in. She breathed out. ‘Ok, you’re right. I can do this. I don’t know what’s going on with that guy but I’ll go and talk to him.’ She grabbed Thomas’ arm. ‘Don’t take your eyes off him for a second Thomas, if he gets a moment unobserved, who knows what kind of skanky magic bullshit he’ll try.’ She patted down her hair and adjusted her shirt. ‘I can talk to this guy, I’m a professional.’

‘Yes you are,’ said Thomas patting her awkwardly on the shoulder in what he hoped was a supportive way. ‘You are a professional.’

‘I’ll charm him. I’m charming. I’m a charmer.’

Thomas again patted her arm again and smiled, but suspiciously didn’t repeat her affirmation back to her. Amy opened the door to the office and stepped back in. She was still feeling sick but felt capable of engaging with this weird monk cosplayer in something close to a rational manner.

‘Get out.’ she said.

Thomas hurried in after her. ‘Ha! Amy! So funny. Nice to meet you Greg! Thanks for coming in. What can we do for you?’

‘Gregor,’ corrected Gregor.

The colour was returning to Amy’s face. She lowered herself onto the dog couch, her eyes not leaving the monk. Thomas joined her, smiling and trying not to blink in case the monk tried any skanky magic.

The monk looked at Amy. ‘You are sensitive, of course you are, I apologise. I have dampened myself down. I expect you are why I am here.’ He leaned in towards Amy, who was starting to ease down from panic to a mild ick. ‘I know,’ he said, then sat back.

Amy stole a glance at Baron. Baron looked back at Amy and made a ‘I don’t know’ face. Amy looked at Thomas, who was still staring at the monk, eyes watering now as he continued not blinking. Getting nothing from the rest of her team she decided to open her mouth and see what came out again, well aware this strategy had not been working for her recently.

‘So,’ began Amy, ‘You know.’

‘Yes, I know,’ returned the Monk solemnly.

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‘You know.’

‘Yes.’

Amy looked back at Baron, who looked somehow even more clueless than before. ‘The cat’s out of the … bag,’ said Amy.

‘Yes.’

‘The old cat,’ elaborated Amy, ‘Out of the old bag.’

Disconcertingly, the monk reached over and took Amy’s hand. He looked at her with surprisingly gentle eyes and In a sincere and quiet voice said ‘And you are not alone.’

‘Oh … good,’ said Amy. She withdrew her hand. ‘Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag then.’

‘Yes.’ said Gregor.

‘And we all know,’ said Amy. ‘Thomas will you please just blink. He would have zapped us or whatever already if he was going to that.’

Thomas blinked and gave her an embarrassed smile, ‘Sorry Greg. I guess we’re all in on …the secret now.’

‘Gregor,’ corrected Gregor.

‘Sorry yes, Gregor. You know, and we know, and um … the cat ...’

Amy was unsure how to proceed. They needed work but now that her stomach had settled this ominous chit chat increasingly felt like it had no destination. ‘Yeah thanks for the heads up Gregor, and for … making yourself damp I guess. Look, it’s great that we all know the thing that we know but do you have something you want us to do? Like do you need protection or something?’

Now it was Gregor’s turn to look confused. ‘Don’t you understand what is happening? What you know, what I suspect you can do, if it gets out … this is a dangerous moment.’

Amy shot Baron and Thomas a raised eyebrow. Despite the weird magic hum and generally dramatic appearance of the monk, the rhetoric was very familiar. Vague and grandiose warnings came with the territory in this business, even if they weren't usually dressed up as a monk. This was the first time someone had made it into the office to deliver them though, they usually arrived as concerned and slightly threatening emails. Amy sighed as she felt the possibility of a new job float away.

Where Amy and Thomas saw disappointment however, Baron saw opportunity. ‘You were right to come to us Greg. As you obviously know we have all sorts of magic and secrets and whatnot that can help you stay safe. You can trust us.’

Gregor’s eyes became less gentle. ‘I am well protected, I am the one you can trust. It is not safe for you. You all need to come with me.’

Amy decided this was enough, regardless of how much magic was squirming around inside this guy. If he was struggling with reality she didn’t want to take advantage of that, or deal with the risk of it, no matter how much they needed a job. And the conversation was taking on a threatening tone she did not like.

‘You should leave, I don’t think we can help you, and I don’t like your “offer” to help us. This feels off.’

Gregor stood up. As he stood it became apparent how enormous he actually was, not just tall but wide, visible muscles on his neck, broad shoulders, and thick forearms. It didn’t feel good having him in the room. It made no sense to Amy that a monk should be that big. That anyone should. Thomas and Baron leaned away and Amy stood up, her fight or flight starting to turn very much to fight. Amy was aware that she didn’t pose much of a threat to Gregor with his bulk and squirming magic but she was not scared of him. She wasn’t entirely sure he was even trying to threaten them, but something was not right.

The monk looked at Amy, again his eyes were gentle. ‘You have misunderstood me. I am your friend Amy.’ He looked at Thomas and Baron, almost cuddled up next to each other on the couch. ‘And yours Baron, and yours Thomas.’

‘We didn’t tell you our names,’ said Baron.

‘They are on your website,’ the Monk responded. ‘And your photos too. With biographies.’

Amy wavered, not sure not what to make of him.

‘And you will only be safe if you come with me,’ finished the monk.

Amy rolled her eyes. ‘Aw see, you almost had me, but that is not cool, that is some gas lighting nonsense right there Greg. You need to leave. You’re too big and there is too much magic in you. It stinks. Off you pop.’ She moved aside and pointed at the door. ‘Go back to your monastery, or the gym, or wherever you live.’

Gregor sighed, then moved past her to the door. He looked over his shoulder. ‘You are in danger, when you need me I will find you.’

‘Creepy. Bye!’ Amy waved cheerfully, and Gregor closed the door behind him.

‘What on earth was that all about?’ asked Baron.

Thomas pulled out his phone and held it up to Amy and Baron. ‘It might have something to do with this.’