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Magic College
Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Symbols and Wards was a strange class for Kaz. Geometry meets occult symbolism meets basic spell-casting. It slotted so well into both his electives that Kaz was spending a lot of his spare time focusing on it.

After a particularly thought-provoking lecture on the use of tattoos to imbue a mage themselves with such wards, Kaz was walking through the grounds of the college when he heard a voice.

"Now there's someone who looks like he's focused on his path. Would you like a drink?"

Turning toward the voice, Kaz was surprised to see what looked like a human-sized monkey in a robe sipping from a huge, vase-like jar that was bigger than his head. There was something compelling about the figure, but also something trustworthy. "So long as it doesn't entrap my soul or bind me as your minion."

"I'm honored you'd think I would tell you the truth if it did. I'm Tang." Holding out the jug of rice wine, Tang flicked his tail.

Taking the jar, Kaz expected it to be heavy, but while it sloshed as if it were full, it was almost as light as a feather. "Kaz—" For some reason he'd been about to say his full name. It came as a shock, since he'd spent the last two months living with just his nickname. "And thanks."

Holding the jug by an old woven set of straps around it, Kaz lifted it to his mouth and got barely a taste of the stuff before he realized how strong it was. "Whoa! Hey, that's—uh…"

"Yeah, pretty strong, right?" Lifting the jug from Kaz's hand, Tang pointed behind him. "Probably best if you take a load off for a bit. Why not come sit under my old peach tree?"

Kaz hadn't noticed the small hill behind Tang, nor the peach tree that grew from the middle of it. "Sure. Hey, nice tattoo." With his previous class still in his thoughts, Kaz recognized a symbol that was in golden ink—almost hidden under Tang's fur on the back of his right hand.

"A scholar? You didn't strike me as one, you seemed—you seemed more like a problem solver." Tang walked slowly up the hill and sat down at the base of the tree and leaned back against it. "Since you know about it, what do you think it means?"

Sitting down on the other side of the small tree, Kaz felt the peace of the location flowing around him like a cool breeze. "Heaven, in what looks like gold but smells like magic, on your right hand. It seems obvious."

Tang laughed, his voice musical and light. "Well spoken. It's true that I serve the Jade Emperor. I'm not the only right hand of heaven and neither do I always do what he asks. I am committed to doing what heaven needs."

The exact wording felt odd to Kaz. He'd heard something like it before, and the strength of the wine was enough that he spoke without thinking it through. "Like Batman?"

His tail curling nearly all the way up, Tang broke into a gale of laughter but nodded his head in agreement. "Exactly like Batman! I really liked the portrayal in Dark Knight, but that newer one is a little less—punchy."

᱿Hey, Miaow, you're quiet.᱿ Kaz waited a moment, only to hear nothing. ᱿Miaow?᱿ Panic set in. "Miaow?!"

"Please, calm yourself. Your mental companion is safe—on my honor. She just can't come in here yet." Tang kept his voice as calm as he could, but deliberately put extra emphasis on the last word.

On edge, Kaz sat forward. "What do you mean she can't come in 'here'—and 'yet'?"

"Simply put, she is too far from enlightenment. Even my father was only allowed under the branches of a peach tree by invitation of the Jade Emperor. You will note, Kaz, that you have brought her far closer than her kind would ever normally be. It's almost a shame that you won't live long enough to invite her here yourself."

"Why not? How long is—You mean for her to no longer be a yokai?"

"She will forever be a yokai, she just strays from the chaotic and dark aspects of her kind. Soon she will walk further. One day she might step fully into his light and learn something beyond her desires." Looking up, Tang spotted a small, red and yellow fruit hanging from the tree. "Early. Too early."

It was a lot for Kaz's slightly intoxicated self to take in. He tried to get his head around what Tang was saying, but too much was enigmatic. "Do you lecture here?"

"Here? At Mal's school? No—I am forbidden from teaching here. Although…" Standing up, Tang jumped for the lower branches of the tree, caught it with one hand and swung up and up until one hand-like foot reached out and grasped the peach—and twisted it free.

Kaz watched Tang land on one foot, the other still holding the peach.

"It appears I am allowed to teach you two things today. One you know already, the other is a long lesson." Tang couldn't stop grinning at his last comment. "Here, enjoy this."

Catching the peach, Kaz looked down at it. "There's something significant here, isn't there?"

"Of course. Everything in your life is significant. This peach—and your choice to eat it—is just another."

Something about the peach felt heavy to Kaz. He turned it in his hand, admiring the color and smell of it, before he lifted it to his lips and took a bite.

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Kaz woke up laying on his back in the middle of the college's walking path. His head felt fuzzy, mostly because there was a panicking bakaneko who couldn't take control of his body.

᱿KAZ! You're awake at last! What happened?᱿

Unable to fathom the complex task of thinking in his own head, Kaz lifted a hand to shade his eyes from the afternoon sun. "No clue, Miaow. One minute I was walking out here, then I talked to a big monkey guy, and then—Ma'am!"

Sitting up quickly, Kaz spotted the undead abomination standing right beside him. It was at moments like this that he had to remind himself that Mal wasn't just an undead abomination—she was the undead abomination.

"This monkey, his name was Tang Sanzang, yes?" It wasn't often Mal took a special interest in a student, but Kazuma Wilson was just such a one that made her infinitely more curious about the living.

Kaz nodded. "H-He said his name was Tang. He didn't give me a last name."

What remained of Mal's blood was already cold, but now it was practically cryogenic. "Fucking—What did he tell you? What happened?"

"He, uh, he gave me some rice wine to drink. It made things harder to focus on. Miaow, are you okay?"

᱿I thought I'd lost you. I mean, I knew where you were, but that monkey wouldn't let me go in there with you. I hated being alone again.᱿ Miaow not only wasn't purring, she realized she was clinging to the insides of Kaz's head.

"Him and that bloody wine, I couldn't—" Steeling herself against the annoyances of beings she couldn't control, Mal reached down to Kaz with her still-living arm. "Anything else you remember? Did he give you anything?"

"I mean, we were sitting under a peach tree. He seemed surprised it had a peach growing on it, climbed up, and let me have a bite of it." As he spoke, Kaz let Mal pull him to his feet, only to watch her normally passive expression turn into a look of shock. "Was that wrong?"

Shaking, Mal closed her eyes and fought to keep a grip on her aura. "He let you take a bite of a peach of immortality." She shook for a moment. "How do you feel?"

"Wait, immortality?! I'm immortal?!"

"Yes, no, and maybe. How do you feel? Stronger? Lighter?" Mal was counting off the effects of the various kinds of peaches in her head. Of the three, she dreaded the one without immediate symptoms the most.

"I got no idea how to test that." As soon as he said it, Kaz knew he could probably answer both. Crouching, he jumped upward.

Mal watched Kaz leap nearly twenty feet into the air and then come back down to earth again, and sighed in relief. "The lesser fruit. That's somewhat of a relief."

"What would the other fruit have done?"

"There are three kinds. The first makes you strong, nimble, and live for three thousand years. The second gives you three thousand years and eternal youth—and you would be able to fly. The third is what you'd normally think of as immortal." Shaking her head, Mal recognized shock on Kaz's face. "How much did you eat?"

"Just a—just a bite, I think. Will just one bite make me live for"—the number's size made Kaz a little giddy, enough that he paused to think on it—"for three thousand years?"

Delivering her most droll expression yet, Mal reached for her earbuds. "I guess, if I'm still corporeal in a thousand years, we can have this conversation again." Slipping the earbuds in, the thumping bass and angelic voices of BTS soothed away Mal's annoyance. Grumbling dire curses under breath she had to focus to take, she left Kaz to collect himself alone.

᱿Miaow, I think I might have done something to upset her.᱿ Watching Mal walk away, Kaz had to wonder how true his statement was. Had it been him that pissed the lich off, or Tang? He didn't have an answer.

Purring at Kaz to reassure him, Miaow tried to work out what an extended life would mean to her. ᱿Kaz, why would someone become an undead monster like that?᱿

᱿Power?᱿

᱿What else?᱿

᱿Miaow, I don't know enough about liches to really say.᱿ Kaz started walking toward his original target—the parking lot across the street.

᱿Passing the barrier of death gives a spirit immortality, Kaz. She literally gave up her humanity and life to become immortal.᱿

Kaz froze, his mind hitting the conclusion. "Oh shit. That's why she's so pissed off." He stood there, staring into nothingness, imagining how much that probably hurt her. "I need to apologize."

Running, ignoring Miaow's groaning in his head, Kaz found Mal walking along with her earbuds still in. Realizing he really shouldn't touch her, he ran past and stepped into her way.

Mal stared at Kaz for a good five seconds before she slowly reached up and pulled the earbuds from her ears. "What?" It came out more malevolent and evil than she intended.

"I'm sorry you're angry because of me. It's not really fair to you that I—"

"You ran into the only Buddhist priest that has ever been able to annoy absolutely every creature in existence and still uphold his oaths. Kaz, I'd be completely stunned if Tang hadn't managed to make your life—as the incorrectly attributed saying goes—more interesting." Mal managed her best smile—which she knew terrified most people. "Like it or not, but I believe we'll both be around for a rather long time. No, I'm not angry with you because you got to eat one of the peaches, I'm determined to have my school do the best job it can to prepare you for such a life. Excuse me, I have work to do."

Reaching up to put her earbuds back in, Mal waited several seconds before stepping around Kaz and walking back toward her office. It was time for ice cream and a good cry, and no being from heaven or hell was going to be able to stop her from her Ben and Jerry's.

The vibe Kaz got from Mal was mixed with feelings he had no idea how to unpack. ᱿Whatever just happened, I'm still confused.᱿

᱿I would suggest finding a way to do something nice for her. Make it a tradition. If one bite has the full effect, Kaz, you two will be around for a while together.᱿

᱿I—᱿ Kaz paused his mental thread and took a slow breath. ᱿You're right. Okay, so a mental note to find a nice thing I can give her that says friend but doesn't go further. She seems like she's about a dozen layers deeper into magic than I'll ever be, but that doesn't mean I can't at least keep her on my side.᱿

᱿You're forgetting something, Kaz.᱿ Getting comfortable in his head again, Miaow curled up in a ball and then stretched out and started purring—figuratively of course. ᱿As much as you have to live a long life with her somewhere within it, she will be doing the same.᱿

Trying to get back to what he'd been thinking about before his run-in with eternity, Kaz found himself nodding to Miaow's assessment. ᱿Right, and that makes it more important to keep it a friendly relationship.᱿

᱿It's just like I always say.᱿ Miaow purred happily now, though she made her own mental note to get Kaz to punch the annoying monkey next time.

᱿What do you always say?᱿ Kaz asked.

᱿Even if the ancient lich is evil, that doesn't mean you can't be friends.᱿

᱿Miaow, you have literally never said that before.᱿ Pulling out his phone, Kaz checked his Mager messages. It turned out, much to his complete lack of surprise, that Puff blogged about literally everything. He scrolled past a dozen messages from her about birds she'd seen (making sure to like every single one) before he got to one from Flo. ᱿Hey, Flo wants to meet with me.᱿

᱿Perfect! We can ask her what Mal likes.᱿

Sending a reply to Flo, Kaz asked her where to meet, and was told the student lounge. Making his way there, he decided all the issues with Tang Sanzang could wait until later—given how much later he had. No sooner had he stepped into the student lounge than he almost got blasted in the face by a fireball spell.

"Dammit, Stef, you can't go hurling spells near the door like that!" Flo lowered her smoking shield from where she'd taken the fireball for Kaz. "Are you okay, Kaz?"

"There wasn't any real heat in it, Flo. I could have healed him after." Stef looked at Kaz for the first time and her eyes widened at what she saw. "Damn, where've you been hiding?" she said under her breath. "Sorry about the fireball. My name's Stef." Holding her hand out to shake, Stef almost bit her lower lip at the muscles she saw move in Kaz's arms.

᱿Me—ow.᱿

Ignoring Miaow's comment in his head, Kaz reached his hand out and shook Stef's hand. "Kaz. It's all cool—no one got hurt." Having given Stef his best smile, Kaz turned to look at Flo. "You wanted to chat?"

᱿Nothing? Come on! She's practically devouring you with her eyes!᱿

᱿I know, Miaow, but I'm not interested in tall, pale, and has fangs longer than you've ever had.᱿ Kaz was firm in his estimation of Stef. He'd studied bestiaries enough to recognize a vampire when he saw one.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Miaow was silent for a moment. She wasn't as familiar in dealing with undead as the locals (or Kaz, apparently). ᱿Her fangs aren't that long.᱿ Now she was looking for them, she caught sight of the points at the edges of Stef's smile.

᱿Long enough that I don't want to get close enough to measure them.᱿

"Yeah," Flo said. "I saw you were studying witchcraft as one of your electives."

Kaz smiled. Witchcraft was something he'd started to really enjoy. "Sure did. I love the way sympathetic magic allows you to do so much with so little. It's really efficient."

"Oh no. Flo! Tell me you didn't get another first-year to chase the pipe-dream of witchcraft?" Stef's voice had turned dramatic and teasing. "Every serious student knows it's wizardry that gets things done."

Flo opened her mouth to give Stef a good serve back, but Kaz beat her to it.

"Wizardry, witchcraft, both sides of the same coin. Unification and blending of styles is where true power lies." Turning back to Flo, Kaz smiled and started to walk. ᱿What does that even mean and why did you tell me to say it?᱿

Miaow giggled. ᱿Simple. It tells her that there's something amazing about her own favorite topic she hasn't learned, and can't learn without investigating what she thought was a weaker method.᱿

᱿Is it true?᱿

᱿Who knows. Maybe?᱿ Loudly purring now, Miaow felt in fine form.

᱿You're the best, Miaow, you know that?᱿

When they were halfway across the big hall that was spread out with couches and low tables, Flo pulled Kaz down to one and whispered, "What was that about? She looked about twice as white as her bloodless ass normally does."

"A great Japanese spirit advised me earlier that I should say those exact words to an evil, blood-sucking parasite. I figured Stef was close enough. It was mostly BS Miaow made up, but it sounded good enough, right?" Kaz slumped back in the seat and felt a little like purring himself. "So, what's up?"

"Well, you know I'm postgrad, right?" When Kaz nodded, Flo continued. "Well, I was approached by your lecturer for elective witchcraft. Can you guess why?"

᱿Why do people always do this? I hate it.᱿ Kaz shook his head. "I'm not really up for guessing games. Play it straight for me, please?"

"The head of covens for the school is willing to make you an offer. Pick witchcraft as your major, and you'll be offered a masters path—complete with scholarship—when you graduate." The offer wasn't completely unheard-of. Flo had heard rumors of similar offers being made—but rarely were they made to a first-year only a few weeks into their first semester.

It was a surprise. ᱿Did you see this coming?᱿ Kaz asked Miaow.

᱿From the witchcraft school? No. Am I surprised you have been recognized as something special? Not one bit. Don't let them pressure you and take them to the cleaners.᱿

Miaow's use of idioms had surprised Kaz at first, but he'd gotten used to her knowing them well enough. What still surprised him was she didn't know the meanings behind them. "Okay." Kaz smiled at Flo, hoping that a little confidence would at least disrupt her from whatever script she was running through. "So what do you think about the deal? Did you get a deal like this?"

"Yes. In my final—" Clamping her jaw down, Flo wanted to grind her teeth but stopped just before it. "I know we're all supposed to be super chill about backgrounds, and doubly so with first-years, but there has to be something about you that makes these things happen. Like when you signed your contract with Miaow."

"I have a way with yokai. Oh, hey, here's an odd question I'm totally not going to use to derail you from your line of questioning." It was a struggle not to giggle at his own joke, but Kaz managed to keep his laughter internal. "Do you have any idea what type of chocolate, ice cream, or candy Mal likes?"

᱿I can't believe you asked it like that. Look at her face! You broke her!᱿ Miaow was beyond giggles, she was howling with laughter in Kaz's head.

"Mal?" The word was all Flo could get out. She stared at Kaz in complete shock. In her mind, she could only think of one reason a guy would want to buy any or all of those things for a woman. "Mal?!"

᱿Look! A vein just popped out on her forehead!᱿

᱿Miaow, I know you're having fun, but try to dial it back. I need to keep a straight face.᱿ Shrugging his shoulders, Kaz had to be pleased about at least one thing—Flo wasn't bugging him about studying witchcraft. "Yeah. Kinda ran into her a bit earlier and delivered some—well, it wasn't bad news, but she wasn't happy about it. I just want to cheer her up, you know?"

"You—You're going to buy an ancient and evil lich a—a box of chocolates?" All attempts by her brain to find reason in the current topic had failed. Now Flo was down to stating facts. "Or, what, some ice cream? Maybe caramel? Oh, or double-choc-fudge-swirl?"

"Does she like double-choc-fudge-swirl?" Kaz asked, pulling out a pen and paper to take notes.

Flo face-palmed at that. "I don't know, Kaz. If she's still got so much as a shred of humanity inside her—or at least some taste buds—she will like double-choc-fudge-swirl ice cream, though. Try that and some chocolate chip cookie dough."

᱿Can we get some double-choc-fudge-swirl ice cream for later tonight, too? And what was that other thing she said?᱿ Miaow asked.

᱿You know, I think we can. Alright, this is a plan.᱿ Kaz wrote down what Flo said. "Thank for that. I'll definitely think about the offer, but I don't think I'll make any kind of decision like that before the end of my first year, so let them know that."

"That'll probably make them even more determined, but I think that's the smart move. As for your plans with Mal—I can't believe I'm going to say this, Kaz, but good luck. You'll definitely need it." Flo leaned a bit closer. "As for Stef, don't ignore her. Your effort to confuse her is going to make you more interesting to her. Either she'll completely forget about you in the next hour, or you're going to see her popping up all over the place."

"I hope it's the former—which means it will be the latter. Well, I guess I brush up on light spells and eat a lot of Italian food." Rolling his eyes with exaggeration, Kaz stood up. "Anyway, gotta go to the store now and browse their ice-cream and cooking aisles. And don't feel bad about having to ask me this, it's good to know where I stand at the school. Can you believe I thought I'd be struggling to keep up?"

Laughing, Flo shook her head. "I mean, it's not like you started from scratch or anything. We're all adults here, ya know? Also, I hear Stef hates ginger more than garlic, so you might want to try some sushi instead."

Kaz tried not to look shocked that she'd think he'd known about magic all his life. "Oh, right, because the gari with sushi. Any other ideas?"

"With her? Not really. She's a stickler for the letter of the rules, so she won't harm you unless you ask her nicely, but she has a little club of followers who ask her nicely every chance they get." Flo twitched her eyes to the side, to where one of said followers was sitting.

Completely missing the gesture, Kaz sighed. "Kinda reminds me of high school. Okay, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Clubs!" When her initial answer didn't get the desired effect, Flo snapped her fingers and produced a pile of papers. "You know, as general gopher and stooge of the student council, I have a duty to ensure every student's life is not just filled with learning but also fun!"

Kaz gave Flo his best and? look. "Hold on, Flo. Forget the sales speech, just tell me what the problem is."

"You need to join a club or I will get cursed."

"Really?"

"No, but it sounded good, I hope?"

"So, what's a club? Wait, is this like how Harry joins the quidditch team in—?"

"You know the rules on talking about that. No, it's not like getting picked to be the star player in an elite and worldwide sporting event. This is all just something fun for like-minded students to catch up and do something they're all interested in. So, which club do you want to join?" Flo was hopeful she'd have something for Kaz. "Oh, and don't pick social. Stef runs that."

Grabbing up the fliers that Flo spread out on the table, Kaz started reading through them. "Satanism is a club?"

"A popular one. It's a lot like the social club, but less skulls."

"It's not a religion?"

"Whoever is pulling the strings on the other end of it, and I think it's obvious it's someone important, they don't actually care what you believe in. They're shooting for numbers, and wow are they getting popular. You want to find some friends who"—Flo raised her voice—"know how to party, you find the Satanists."

"I like to—Hold on. That's what you're in, right?"

Flo just blushed and nodded.

"Fits. Anyway, I don't think partying in my spare time is really up my alley. Besides, it's not like I could bring Abi, and it'd be boring at a party without someone to snuggle. Flo, don't even suggest it." Kaz said the last bit quickly, before Flo could do more than open her mouth. "How long do I have before you send the Hound of the Baskervilles after me?"

"No, but we'd send his grandson." Flo hoped her bluff might at least get a smile out of Kaz, but he looked entirely too serious. "Look, why won't you just—?"

"What's this one? Pets?" Flicking the piece of paper up in the air, Kaz worked a simple cantrip to make it float in place. "The care and befriending of magical creatures. I like this. I have a cute little guy I could bring along."

Ignoring that it was one of what she considered boring clubs, Flo focused on what Kaz had said. "You have a pet?"

"Sure do. Technically Abi found him, but I think he's more connected with me. His name is Claws, and he's a pretty cool little griffon." As soon as he said it, Kaz saw Flo's face screw up a little. "He doesn't scavenge, he only eats what I give him."

"Yeah, but a griffon? Really?"

Shrugging, Kaz reached up and plucked the page from his spell's grip. "Too late. I've made up my mind. Does this fulfill your need to get every student locked away into a club?"

"Ugh, I wish. There's over a dozen more who can't decide, and one who has blocked me on Mager and, somehow, disappears whenever I think I have them. Is there some kind of bet going on?" Slumping back in the chair, Flo was thankful Kaz at least made a choice.

"Wait, you're talking about Stev, right? Big guy, looks like a linebacker and a redcap had a kid?" Kaz, of course, had seen Stev's disappearing act. He wasn't about to tell Flo how the guy was doing it, but he would tell Stev that Flo was still after him.

"Yeah. He looked normal in orientation. How does he keep slipping away?"

Lifting up his hand, Kaz pressed his thumb and forefinger to one corner of his mouth and mimed drawing a zip closed. That he used magic to actually form a zip over his lips was him wanting to show off.

᱿You are having too much fun here.᱿

Kaz could swear he heard the sound of a feline eating popcorn. Smiling despite his zipped lips, Kaz shrugged his shoulders and stood up. ᱿Yeah, but I really need to do something nice for Mal.᱿

᱿You really don't like seeing women unhappy, do you Kaz?᱿

Dispelling the zipper on his lips, Kaz said his goodbyes to Flo and started for the exit. As he walked past where Stef was sitting with her friends, he felt a shiver down his spine. ᱿Most, but not that one.᱿

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The trip to the convenience store had been brief, but productive. Kaz walked through the school with one tub of rocky road ice cream, one of caramel double-choc, and four packs of cookie dough. He'd also managed to buy a pack of dessert spoons at a dollar store, and grabbed two large mocha frapps.

He was prepared. He was also using some sympathetic magic to shove warmth away from all his purchases to keep them just right.

᱿Kaz, she's probably going to set fire to you on the spot if you just interrupt her.᱿

᱿Maybe, but I doubt it.᱿ Walking into the administrative offices, Kaz looked around until he saw a receptionist desk off to one side. Marching up to it, he looked at the officious woman behind the counter and said, "I am here for Mal's four-o'clock. The meeting of immortals."

Glancing up at the young man, Beverly opened Mal's schedule. It was currently empty for the rest of the day, but that didn't mean just anyone could march in. There were procedures that needed following. "I'm afraid that you're not on the—"

"Again? This happens every thousand years." Kaz lifted his left arm to show the treats he carried. "These won't last until tomorrow, but I'll tell you what, when I come back with three melted tubs of chocolate ice cream, you can tell Mal why they are less than edible."

Beverly feared few things as much as disappointing Mal. The bureaucracy of the school—like any big school—might be thought of as evil by its student body, but Mal was an old kind of evil. The kind of old evil that would enslave you for eternity rather than kill you. "Let me speak to her."

Standing back from the counter, Kaz waited a few moments before the air dropped in temperature and he felt the presence of evil. Turning—because it was the nature of true evil to always appear behind you—he looked at Mal.

A passive lich was a terrifying curiosity.

An annoyed lich was a terrifying calamity.

What Kaz was facing was a furious lich—terror incarnate.

"Peace offerings," Kaz managed to say. He held up his arm to show Mal what he'd brought with him.

It disarmed Mal's wrath. She wanted to tear the flesh off something just to hear it scream, but here she was faced with the most terrible of things—someone being nice. "Follow me."

᱿You either can't feel fear or you are immune to it.᱿ Miaow couldn't find it in her to purr.

᱿Can you try to figure out which? I think I need to keep on my toes if I'm going to live through this.᱿ Kaz followed along, down the modern-looking hallway and into a huge office that looked like it was ripped right out of the front half of a Warhammer 40K chapter book.

Dark shadows, spikes, candles, and even the soft glow of cold, cthonic machinery that cared not for the living dominated every spare space in the room. The monstrous desk at the far end looked more like some kind of ancient torture machine. The chair—more a throne—was immense and loomed over the desk like a buzzard would something that had just died.

"Sit."

Mal's command had Kaz quickly obeying. He raced up to the desk and set his offerings down just as Mal took the seat beside him. "Uh—?"

"You wouldn't believe how uncomfortable that things is." Mal pointed to the throne behind the desk. "I asked Agnes to change it for one of those comfortable office chairs, but she has opinions on how my office should be decorated." Reaching up to the desk, she grabbed up one of the drinks with her skeletal hand and brought it to her lips. Just the smell caused a rictus to pull across dry lips.

After a long sip of the frappe, Mal turned to look at Kaz and, with a much more normal voice, uttered just three words, "Meeting of immortals?"

"Seemed like a good name for an excuse to chill and talk. I figure we're going to keep bumping into each other for a while, better to at least be civil and organized about it." Picking up his own drink, Kaz took a smaller sip of the sugary "coffee".

Spotting the spoons, Mal didn't hesitate to reach for the three tubs. Her eyes took on a hungry green glow as she spotted the caramel and she used the raw force of her will to pull it closer and slice the top off. "You are wise beyond your years. Okay, what do you propose, and don't think for a second the cookie dough will influence me?"

"Simple, we don't get angry at each other. If something gets up one of our noses, we tell the other. Preferably with bribes of chocolate and caffeine. Not so much to get an apology, but just so we know where we each stand and what we're planning." Kaz secured his own tub of ice cream and, with a promise to run it off later, started sampling the deliciousness of rocky road. "I figure I'll start planning stuff sooner or later. That's what old mages do, right?"

Cleaning the spoon of its chocolaty cargo, Mal pointed it at Kaz like some kind of wand. "Like you wouldn't believe. One day you'll be chatting with your friends, looking for a nice young man—or woman—and the next you have your thumb in a dozen pies and are puppeteering a whole state of senators." She aimed the spoon back into her tub and started to scoop more free. "And that's just the non-magical side of things. Do you know how many packs of werewolves I have to ally with to promise they won't hunt my students? It was easier in the old days."

Kaz could imagine what that entailed. "The old days. You'd hunt them all down and kill them?"

"Maybe. Depends how old. I've grown lazy, Kaz. The was a day I would have gathered up my athame and taken on all comers in combat, but for the longest time it was all about cunning and guile. I'd try to arrange for heroes to come and kill them, or have the packs face off against each other." Mal almost said more, but she melted into a host of oral sensations as the ice cream melted on her tongue.

"I'm probably at the charge in without a plan and do something stupid stage. I'll probably get through it one day." Slumping back in the chair, Kaz chuckled. "But until then, I'll enjoy being impulsive and having awesome, impulsive friends."

"I've got bad news for you if you think you will ever get past that phase. Remember that earlier today a surly old lich got angry at you for daring to snag a slice of the immortality she'd worked so hard for, even knowing that the source would have reason for giving it." Mal looked over at Kaz and saw far too much of herself in the young man.

Sipping at his drink, Kaz shook his head. "That's a little impulsive, but hardly stupid. Me? I antagonized a vampire about an hour ago, for no other reason than it felt like a good idea at the time. You might be impulsive, but you aren't impulsive-stupid." He noticed, when he said vampire, that Mal twitched a little. "Don't like vampires?"

"Oh, they're well enough, but they sacrifice themselves and their autonomy to become immortal. They bind themselves to a master vampire and give up much of what they are spiritually. A lich, such as myself, still retains much of the same faculties they had in life." The ice cream was too good to be allowed to exist, or so Mal estimated, therefore she sought its destruction at her own hand. "I thought about it, about retaining the same outward beauty, but eternity living as a husk was not what I wished."

Kaz paused at that and, with a mouthful of ice cream, he pondered the subject. Eventually he finally figured out where he stood on it. "Yeah. I'd rather have my body—my outward appearance—change too. Miaow is an influence, but she doesn't change who I am."

᱿But I do encourage the fun bits of who you are.᱿

"She's informing me that she does enjoy encouraging the fun bits of who I am," Kaz said.

"I'm going to be completely honest when I said you needed that. I know of the arrangement you and your aunt have, I know that your first day of college was the first day you'd learned about magic." Mal watched Kaz to see what effect that knowledge would have. She was a touch upset that he didn't even look surprised. "You're fascinating and adaptable, but you needed to let loose a little. You could even say I was pleased you made a pact with a mischievous yokai."

"You were focused on me?"

"Kaz—" Mal managed to stop herself from saying his full name. It surprised her how relaxed this setting had become. "Kaz, I am focused on all my first year students. Their introduction to study is one of the more important of my tasks. Your situation was unique and required me to be cautious."

Kaz drained his frappe. "Did you tell anyone else about me?"

Shaking her head, Mal scooped out the last of the ice cream in her tub and ate it—heedless of what effects so much chill would have on a living being. "It seemed like a better test of your own abilities—and safer—if you figured things out as you went. Could you imagine how that vampire you taunted would act if it thought you didn't have ten years of learned magic under your belt?"

"Yeah, I guess. It has been a blast."

"Next year I'll organize things. Do you have a preference for ice cream?" Mal asked.

"Surprise me." Kaz knew an invitation to leave when he heard one. Standing up, he gave Mal a little bow. "Guess I'll be going then."

"Wait." Rising from her own chair, Mal walked over to a chest of drawers on one side of her office and opened the third drawer a moment after she commanded the wards to calm down. "Take this and wear it. If that vampire gives you trouble, it has everything it deserves coming to it."

Kaz had seen one or two of the students wearing crosses of various kinds, but none had worn a necklace with a dirty green gemstone on it—which is what Mal passed him. He looked at it before shrugging and putting it on.

"Impulsive, but not stupid," Mal said.

"Maybe that should be our motto?"

Mal let her dry, raspy laughter chase Kaz from her office. She turned back to her desk and used her will to incinerate the empty tubs and the two paper cups. The cookie dough, however, she would cherish later. "You've gone soft, you old monster." Walking slowly around her desk, she slipped the dough rolls into a drawer and sat down on the uncomfortable throne. "But I wish I was nine-hundred years younger…"