Kaz wasn't a stranger to death. He had not only died once before, but he was (at least he thought so) a friend of a lich and a disciple of a goddess of an underworld. He also possessed the (borrowed) magic of death itself.
Dying, for him this time, was more like being cleansed than truly an end. He could feel Hel guiding him through all the processes a body undertook when it just stopped the process known as life. He relaxed in her arms and let the fiery need for passion, lust, and pleasure seep out along with every other emotion.
Dying, this time, was like a welcome, cool shower that cleansed him and removed all the taint. "What happened?"
Hel hugged Kaz close and breathed a sigh of relief. "Aphrodite, a goddess of love."
Memories now divorced of the lust he'd felt at the time rolled through Kaz's thoughts. Walking along beside her, feeling attraction, lust, love— "Can I kill her?" There was no fire or passion to his words or thoughts, just the undeniable knowledge that he didn't want her to ever do that to anyone else ever again.
His state allowed him to reexamine, too, the situation of him killing Stef. She had been raised by the vampires to be an attack dog. They had let her off their leash and commanded she attack. Kaz could now recognize that it wasn't his fault that he'd stopped her.
"You could try, though you would fail, Kaz. She is too strong for you alone. We will hunt her, though. Mal pronounced her exiled, and she hasn't left the city yet." Hel could appreciate Kaz's logic in wanting to dispassionately remove Aphrodite, but she could see there was an important emotion he was missing—his compassion. "But first you need to live again."
"I do? Can't I stay like this? It's easier."
"Jaybird. Miaow. Puff." As Hel spoke the names, she gave Kaz a tighter squeeze. "You have those three, at least, with emotional ties. There's also Queen, Claws, and a very young griffon who challenged me to a fight if I didn't save you."
"I—"
"They need you, Kaz, and I need you. Fenrisulfr needs you, as do Loki, Vali, Jormungandr, and Sleipnir needs you most of all. Give me your left hand." Hel held out her own and stepped around behind Kaz, letting him place his hand in her palm. "Now, I believe you need more this time. I've had a full month to ponder, and two more since you died to arrange something. I want you to wear this."
Looking at her right hand, Kaz saw a disc with a fine piece of thread attached in a loop. It was a pendant. As he watched, she turned it over in her fingers. "What is it?" His eyes seemed pulled to the disc. On one side was a wolf's head and the other a dragon's. On the wolf side there was a border, though, and in that were dozens of symbols. Eight horseshoes, a paw overlaid with a wing, a tiny fishing rod, a bird, a twisting serpent, a group of wolves overlapping each other, and finally there was a small book. On the dragon's side it looked like there were bite marks in the medallion, a bunch of grapes, and a large pair of wings.
"This is imbued with magic. Mine, mostly, but there are many who don't wish you to perish and are willing to give a little to make you shine again. You will know this gift when you put it on."
Kaz marveled at the detail of the necklace. "Wait. How long have I been dead?"
"You died seventy days ago. Your body is not salvageable this time." Hel started to flow her life magic into Kaz's left hand. "Arrangements have been made. Your sense of self is much stronger this time, but the main reason we couldn't use your body was that Aphrodite's poison would not release its hold while it yet lived. Your body had to die."
Sighing, Kaz leaned back against Hel. She was big, strong, and felt every bit a woman. He realized, though, he lacked any ability to love or want her. "I can't feel any emotions."
"That's intended, Kaz. The poison infected the body and mind. You will have to learn to feel again, and I know just the person to teach you." Hel used her right hand to lift the thread attached to the medallion up and over Kaz's head. Once there, she took his right hand in her own and pushed her death magic into him too.
The amulet flared with light just under his chin, and Kaz felt a new rush of magic pour into him. At last, though, he couldn't remain conscious and let the light and Hel's expertise guide him.
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"I can't feel anything from him. Is he really in there?"
"He is. When I said I had to cut out his emotions, I meant all of them. I think you are the perfect person, in all the realms, to help teach him how to feel."
Kaz could hear the voices talking above him, but he felt a hand resting somewhere on his back. His furred back. Opening one eye, he looked back at Jaybird crouched beside him and Hel beside them. Opening his mouth to speak, he struggled with his anatomy until he figured out the confusing part was having a beak. "How I feel?"
The touch on Kaz's back turned into a hug as Jaybird leaned down and spread themselves out on him. He seemed much larger than the average griffon—larger even than Queen. "What's going on? Why am I a griffon?"
Crouching, Hel reached out and rubbed Kaz's cheek. "We needed a body and—"
"Of all the creatures they knew that could create offspring that are sapient, we are the fastest to reproduce." Queen walked in and approached Kaz. She shouldered Hel aside and leaned down to run her beak over the feathers around his face. "It was a trial, but for a pridemate I would not say no."
"Wait." Kaz tried to make sense of the words and the way Queen was treating him. "How long was I, er, not dead this time?"
"I consented to them using magic to speed things along. I didn't have years to wait for you to feed me." Queen gave the back of his neck a little nip and Kaz felt his first, real feeling: affection.
"He felt that!" Jaybird said, excited.
"Of course he felt it. He's my kitten."
"No, I mean he's feeling emotion. He loves you, Queen." Giggling like a fiend, Jaybird kept one hand on Kaz and circled around the side of him that wasn't crowded by griffons and goddesses. "Kaz, you are her kitten. Queen worked with us to bear you a body to inhabit. Hel kept you asleep while speeding up your growth."
Kaz stared at Queen, searching himself for feelings and familiar sensations. Finally, feeling the love that Jaybird had spoken of, he quirked the corners of his beak into a slight smile and leaned his head forward to bump against her shoulder.
Hel watched Kaz and Queen nuzzle and press against one another, but her relief grew more firm when—apparently content that he'd thanked Queen enough—Kaz turned to Jaybird. "Kazuma, we need to talk about you and how to defend yourself. We can't have Aphrodite or others doing that to you again."
"'Kazuma'?" Jaybird asked. "I like it."
Staring at Jaybird for a moment, Kaz eventually realized what had happened. "Wait, doesn't the school have—?"
"Since you died, a lot of the protections and restrictions on you broke. That curse that made you into a 'werewolf', gone. Mal told me that if you want to go back and complete your degree, you're welcome to."
Leaning onto Jaybird, Kaz shoved them back and on the couch before climbing up and flopping on their lap—though he overflowed at both ends. "Wait, the curse is gone? I can—my wolf side is still there."
Working their fingers into Kaz's feather-and-fur back, Jaybird started giving him a good scratching. "Yeah, I can feel him. He's more intact, emotionally, than you are."
"Wait," Kaz said, freezing, "where's Miaow?"
Loping into the room, Garmr walked up to Kaz, towered over him, and licked his cheek. The moment his tongue made contact, the magic he'd been carrying—and the precious spirit too—sparked to life and Miaow's mind jumped to Kaz.
Having woken up after what felt like an infinitely long sleep, Miaow demanded, ᱿WHAT HAPPENED?!᱿
᱿I died. Hel had to kill me because of what Aphrodite did.᱿ It was now starting to feel odd that he had no emotions, but Kaz was starting to not so much get used to it, as ignore the strange sensation. ᱿We're safe, now, and we got a new body.᱿
᱿How'd we get a new body? Where's all this magic coming from?᱿ At last taking stock of the situation, Miaow settled herself in Kaz's mind. ᱿And why are you a girl griffon?᱿
Reaching out to Garmr and pulling the big hound closer with his forelegs and wings, Kaz grabbed him into a big hug and Kaz rubbed his cheek against Garmr's neck. "Thanks for looking after her."
"Okay," Jaybird said, ignoring the big, slobbering licks Garmr gave Kaz, "the next bit is to teach him about all this magic. It's a mess, but a good mess."
"They both have a good teacher for magic, but this is going to need something else. Kazuma, you have more than your own magic in you now." Waiting for Kaz to look up at her, Hel did her best not to smirk at the mass of drool matting down one side of his neck. "You need to master my magic first. It's the oldest you have and the most potent.
"I was holding back before and trying to let you grow into the magic I'd given, so that you could one day make it your own. You have too much attention on you now. Even with that young vampire dead and Bacchus working to keep Aphrodite beyond the city, you're not safe until you are trained."
Kaz looked at Jaybird and Queen. "I won't leave this world for long."
Hel gave Jaybird a look of curiosity. "No. You have roots here that while welcome, I don't believe they're ready to seek their own paths in the world. I will establish a portal here. You will be able to come and go as you wish, but I will ask you not to travel to other worlds and not to leave the city. You will be studying under myself, Fafnir, Mother, and one other."
Closing his eyes, Kaz focused on his human form. Young, masculine, and the shape he'd grown used to by dint of growing up in it. He pulled on his shapechanging and it responded not just faster but smoother than it even had before. He let out a sigh and completely ignored his nakedness. "Jaybird, would you like to spend some time teaching me how to love?"
"Sorry, Hel, I'm taking Kaz for a bit." Jaybird gave Hel their best smile and put their arm around Kaz. "Kaz, Princess claimed your room. Your stuff is still there, but I wasn't going to try to talk her out of keeping the bed. Will mine do?"
When they were out of the room, Kaz almost fell against Jaybird. "I just need to talk, but that was the best way of distracting Hel and Queen."
"I know." Jaybird did know. They had a hand on Kaz's shoulder and could feel the pale emotional response. "If it takes a few years for you to find your love for me, I can wait that."
Entering Jaybird's room, Kaz waited for Jaybird to lay down before he joined them. "Remember when we first met?"
For Jaybird, it was a little strange to be laying on the bed with their boyfriend, touching him, and not feeling the burning love and sexual attraction her talent usually brought. "Mmhmm."
"What were you feeling?"
That brought Jaybird's musing from Kaz's muscles to their collective history. Closing their eyes, Jaybird remembered the most horrid and best day of their life. "Terrified. I didn't even have Puff yet and I was expected to make it through the day or at least until I found Puff and had someone to lean on?
"But then you walked up. We talked, you picked up on my anxiety and, somehow, the fact that you could banish it."
"You just looked so panicked and scared. I wanted to protect you. It was like, like that need was just part of me." Leaning forward on the bed, Kaz pressed his forehead gently against Jaybird's. "I was freaking out because I was sure someone was going to unmask me."
"Because you thought you were just normal. Poor Kaz, no magic and stuck in a school full of mages!" Jaybird giggled when Kaz tickled them. "However will he survive?"
"I didn't, remember? Twice now I haven't survived." It was odd to say such a thing and not feel a swathe of emotions about it. Kaz felt there should be fear and regret at the very least. ᱿I just can't feel anything, Miaow.᱿
Miaow, who'd been waiting patiently for an explanation of what had happened—and was still waiting—started a soft purr in Kaz's head. ᱿We're survivors, Kaz. If Hel thinks you can recover from this, I know you will. There is one important thing—I will never stop fighting for you.᱿
᱿I remember the last few things. Aphrodite was about to—but you started screaming. You used all my magic and cried out for help.᱿ Reaching his very physical arms around Jaybird, Kaz pulled them against himself and inhaled her scent. ᱿I'll need to thank Bacchus.᱿
Jaybird could see the telltale expression that Kaz got whenever he was talking with Miaow. "You're talking with Miaow? How's she handling all this?"
᱿Kiss her, Kaz. Kiss her now and don't think about it.᱿
"She's still giving me the best advice," Kaz said, then did just what Miaow had advocated.
It was a tiny emotion. Not love, certainly, but companionship. Jaybird felt it grow slowly and then swell into a warmth that they were well acquainted with. Still, with no fire or need in it, it was far easier to just relax, kiss, and snuggle rather than push for anything more.
Kaz just let his guard down and relaxed. While sharing the warmth of the moment with Jaybird, he thought back to what Freyja had said and the chain of events that'd followed. Assuming that this would have happened anyway, and the way Aphrodite had been gave Kaz no illusions she'd planned this out well in advance, Freyja's warning had allowed him and Jaybird to still have this.
Breaking the kiss, Jaybird asked, "You look deep in thought."
"Just remembering something. I need to thank Freyja."
"It was weird when you said she'd made that prophecy, but without it things would have been worse. I—I knew something was going to happen and that we could still be us." Getting a bit lost in their description, Jaybird felt it still explained her thoughts well. "They say that a mage's life is never boring."
"I've discovered that."
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There hadn't been any sex, Miaow noted, only a lot of cuddles and conversation. She approved of that. The last thing he needed right after dealing with having his emotions poisoned in such a way was to misuse such joy.
But Meow couldn't help herself. She nuzzled and cuddled Jaybird too, knowing how much they'd gone through to remain with Kaz.
"Aren't you going to find Puff?" Jaybird asked. "I'm okay, Miaow, I don't need constant contact."
"No. You probably don't need constant contact, but I'm going to give it anyway. Kaz didn't look at how you'd changed, but I can smell so much more power on you. Do you mind if I become something more comfortable?"
"Like a big kitty I can snuggle?"
Jaybird sounded appropriately appreciative of a feline form, so Miaow wasted no further time in becoming her female, feline self.
"You have corrupted me, Miaow." Pulling themselves closer to Miaow, making physical contact all down their bodies, Jaybird let out a contented sigh. "For all that I had no real desire toward either sex before, I was always far more invested in male anatomy. I still don't think I'd enjoy being intimate with Kaz as a woman, but I don't mind snuggling."
"You're good at snuggling." Purring, Miaow folded her arms around Jaybird. "What now?"
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"Hel has plans. Kaz—and you too I guess—will be getting training. Herself and Fafnir for magic, Freyja and someone Freyja has found will be teaching you both the art of combat. It's still school, but with a new focus."
"Can anyone join this cuddle or do I need an invitation?" Puff asked, leaning against the door jam. At the sight of Miaow's tail lashing in sudden excitement, she stepped in and closed the door again behind her. Walking around the bed, she climbed onto the bed behind Miaow and cuddled up closer. "There. Now my favorite kitty is extra cozy."
Still purring, perhaps even louder now, Miaow said, "This is possibly my favorite spot to be. My girlfriend on one side, my cuddle-friend on the other. Does anyone want to explain to me why Kaz was a griffon when I came back, and why he was female?"
"When Hel killed Kaz, she tried to keep his body intact, but it too was poisoned. Couldn't you feel it too?" Jaybird asked.
Remembering back to those days with Bacchus, of the pain of withdrawals, Miaow nodded slightly. "Yeah. It wasn't just in Kaz then?"
"Not just in Kazuma, no." Jaybird had to remind themself to use his full name now it was okay to. "Try as Hel might, she couldn't clean it out. She put his body to the torch for his own good. I offered—"
"We both offered," Puff said.
"Right. We both offered to help by making him a body, but it was Queen who had actually thought about it more than any of us—even Hel. A griffon's gestation is fast, and their minds vast enough to sustain a mage's spirit. Hel used her magic to speed things up, but just a little. She had to stop the body from quickening a spirit, she had to nurture the body so that it wouldn't perish without a spirit, and she brought it to adulthood quickly. It doesn't matter that his body was female, this time. Not with the shapechanging Kazuma can do."
It took a few minutes for Miaow to absorb all that. Her first and foremost thought was that she owed Queen a fish—probably a lot of fish. Also, hugs and tummy-rubs. "There's more than just Kaz and Hel's magic in us now. What happened there?"
"That was more of Hel's doing. She contacted everyone Kazuma has helped, everyone who has helped him, and asked them to give a sliver of their magic. Some gave small amounts, others gave a lot. It was all embedded into an amulet for him, and his first transformation sealed it." Still feeling the little hunk of their own magic missing, though it was healing, Jaybird kissed Miaow on the nose. "From what I understand, as long as he recognizes and nurtures it, that magic will grow within him—and you."
"And hopefully he can relearn how to feel," Miaow said.
"He is. When he learned about what Queen had done for him, he felt love toward her, but not romantic. Earlier, when we were cuddling, he felt a companionship with me. His emotions are weak, tentative, but they will come back as he feels familiar things. I don't plan to pressure him—this will be a gradual process." Jaybird yawned and nuzzled at Miaow's jaw. "If you two want to go to another room, I'll be okay here."
"Nope," Miaow said.
"Not happening," Puff added, reaching over Miaow to hook her wing on Jaybird's shoulder. "This is something all of us have to work on. One of us was hurt more than anything I can comprehend, another struggled to save him and got hurt herself. I care so much for both of them. But then there's also you, Jaybird. You haven't had things easy either, but I can see healing start now that Kazuma and Miaow are back. Tonight it's all hugs, tomorrow, maybe, something more than hugs."
Jaybird wanted to argue, but with the warmth of a fluffy catgirl and a feather-covered harpy, they had nothing to do but yawn and surrender. "I love both of you so much." Closing their eyes, they gave up completely and let Miaow's arms and Puff's wings steady them to sleep.
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Kaz walked into Freyja's hall on all fours as a dragon. When he saw her, on a large wooden throne at the end of the room, he bowed his head. "I have come as you asked." The room was massive, infinitely so. The walls were visible, somehow, but at the same time they were more like a horizon than actually there.
As soon as Kaz had spoken, the hundreds and thousands and millions of warriors ceased their training and turned to look at him. It took a lot of power for him to do, but when he shapeshifted back to a human form, he made a simple pair of shorts for himself.
Freyja had, to one side of her throne, a suit of mixed plate and chain armor and on the other side was an upright rack filled with swords that had two big round shields leaning against it. What Kaz didn't expect was the cats. Lots of cats. Freyja had two curled up on her lap, one sitting on her shoulder, and more were crowding around the throne looking for ways to curl up close to her.
She tried to stand up, but all the power of a goddess couldn't move the two furry lumps on her lap. "Servant!" When a young man ran over and tried to bow, Freyja moved like lightning. Gathering the cats into one arm, she grabbed the servant with her free hand and thrust him down and onto the throne, then deposited the cats back on his lap. "Make sure they purr."
It was hard for Kaz not to laugh at the man, forced to sit on the throne of his goddess and provide a soft lap for her cats to rest on. Walking forward, Kaz stopped when Freyja gestured to the weapon racks around them.
"Pick one. Take a sword, something you think you can hold easily. Add some more muscle to yourself." Freyja walked to one of the weapon racks and lifted out a short sword. When she turned to look at Kaz again, she noticed more muscles on his arms, chest, and abdomen. Also, he'd picked out a similar sword to her own. "Watch me, but don't try to fight me. Match the movements I make. It's like a dance."
Kaz saw the blazing fire in Freyja's eyes and could practically feel the heat pouring off her. She wanted to attack him, she wanted to fight him, but she was keeping it all back. When she moved her feet and took a particular stance, with her sword held before her, Kaz mimicked it.
"Good. Good. Now, let's dance." She moved easily, practiced combat motions in slow, physical expression. It only took her a glance to realize Kaz was entirely focused on her, his own movements mirroring hers to a reasonable extent.
The footwork Kaz was familiar with. Robin's training had taught him the need to keep an enemy at the right distance to strike but not be struck—now he just had to match Freyja's feet and that seemed to be a third of his troubles dealt with. His arms, though, were moving in ways that weren't normal.
It only seemed like minutes between starting and when Kaz's arm started feeling the strain of holding a sword. The weapon was heavy in odd ways. It didn't stop him from keeping up with Freyja, it just made it a challenge.
At the end of the tenth cycle of their dance, Freyja stepped back and was glad to see Kaz do the same. He had rough edges, but he handled the weapon with some confidence. "Okay, show me that again."
"Wait, on my own?" Kaz took the nod from Freyja and focused on what he remembered. His steps were slow, his strokes as smooth as he could with an arm that ached, and when he was done he got a sigh from the goddess. "Did I screw it up?"
"Yes, in a few places. Come on, we'll start over. If your arms are sore, add more muscle to those spots." Taking her position again, Freyja raised her sword and started counting time for her motions. It was the simplest set of movements, meant to train young warriors in the ways of sword use and to get them ready for more advanced things. By the time she was done with another ten cycles—fully another hour—she noticed Kaz was slowing. "Use your magic to bolster yourself. Remember, your body can be changed. If you need to, shapechange to regain your control."
Nodding, Kaz struggled to get his thoughts straight and shifted to his redcap form, then back. This time, though, he did as she suggested and added more twitch muscles in his arms.
"Now, show me again."
Shifting rapidly again, Kaz refreshed himself and started going through the moves. He counted out a beat in his head and kept his footwork and arms coordinated in the motions of the dance. When he was done, he got a smile from Freyja.
"Let's go again." Frejya was confident Kaz had the pattern down, but drilling it into him so it was instinctual was what she was going for. She took up her stance and started, happy to see that Kaz was keeping perfect time with her—even if she knew this dance was ten times slower than the average sword-fighter would move.
After five repetitions, though, Freyja stepped closer to Kaz and kept going. The first time their swords connected sent a jolt up Kaz's arm. He struggled to keep his grip and continue. Now, as close as they were, their swords connected again and again, each strike leaving Kaz's arm feeling worse and worse.
Freyja could see Kaz was struggling with the impact of their blades. She backed off after the one run-through of the routine and finished the other four normally. She waited for him to shape-shift before she asked, "Why don't you incorporate some of the power of the redcap into your current form?"
Kaz, sweating but no longer sore, said, "I—I haven't tried to do that. Can I do that?"
"You're the shapeshifter."
"Right," Kaz said, then nodded his head. "Right! Okay, let me try to do that then."
First he shape-shifted into his redcap form again, then slowly started toning back the proportions. It was slow work, because he also had to scale the bones down too, then reshape some more of his skeleton to have a more human shape. At last he felt far more human than redcap. "Okay, now to test this."
Freyja couldn't help herself. From her first quickening she'd always felt herself to be the one to notice such things. "Nice tits."
Kaz froze, looked down, and laughed. "Right, my redcap form is female. Hey, stop laughing. It's hard to remember those bits sometimes." He couldn't help laughing along too, though. As he laughed, he adjusted himself more masculine, but the biggest issue was he hadn't seen a male redcap to know how they were put together. What he ended up with was a flat chested, slightly hippy, version of himself. "This will have to do."
"Then step up and test it." Having a student invigorated Freyja. Standing close enough now, their swords rang again and again and she felt Kaz's arm not shying from the connection each time. Eventually she wanted to train him to fight and shape-shift during combat, but for how she wanted him to learn the basics. By their fifth repeat he still wasn't showing signs of tiring and she considered that a victory. Again and again they clashed, and each repeat of the routine she started striking with more of her strength. They were still going slow, but he now took heavy strikes against his sword with no more to show for it than he had at the start of the repetitions.
The last strike, the last time their blades came together in the dance—for the tenth dance—Kaz felt a horrific amount of strength transfer down his blade, through his hand and wrist, and into his arm. There was a crack and he felt the bone break, but with how much redcap he had in him it was healed a few moments later. Rolling his shoulder, he felt new excitement bubbling through him. "That last hit—"
"Was my full strength. It broke your arm." With how little Kaz reacted to having a bone broken, Freyja could tell this wasn't new. "It's healed already?" At his nod, she shook her head a little. "You're going to have to do better than that. Both preventing breaks and healing from them. Thor, Heimdalr, or any of the Æsir will kill you before you regenerate that."
"What if I learned to use both hands?" Kaz asked, checking the bone to ensure it was straight (it was). He put the sword back in its rack so he could be more thorough with his arm.
"Then you will have both arms broken and a sword through your throat. I have called in a favor—she should be here soon." As she spoke, Freyja noticed Kaz was shifting himself here and there a bit more. When she saw a ripple result in his hair growing out into a huge, lupine mane, she knew he was incorporating more of his regular forms into this body. The scales along his arms were a nice touch, too.
Kaz had a few of his emotions back. Mostly positive ones, because Jaybird was just so wonderful, but what he recovered right now was worry. Something had entered the hall and it was soaked in more blood than Kaz wanted on his hands in a thousand years. He turned to see a woman walking in.
She was short, but what he could see of her bare arms was toned with pronounced muscle. She was wearing a helmet of some kind that looked old, and had scale-mail armor on that stopped at her hips where a brown leather skirt surrounded her, covered in plates of steel that hung down to her knees. She carried a spear in one hand and a shield on her other arm, but there was a sword on her hip.
When the woman's eyes met Kaz's, for an instant he felt fear rise inside him—another new emotion. It took a moment for his wolf side to rear up and devour the fear, and then he reached for the sword he'd put down.
"Don't touch your sword, Kaz. Don't even think of it. She won't attack you—not here." Freyja watched as, slowly, Kaz drew his hand back from the hilt. Her gaze rested back on the other goddess, watching her approach. Everything in Freyja screamed at her to attack, kill, or at worst drive back the attacker. She strode out toward the woman and held out her sword hand. "Bellona. It's always good to see you."
"You fucking liar, Freyja. Is this the runt you want me to train?" Bellona looked up at Kaz, then down over his form. "What is he?" He looked tough, but only so far as a bear could look tough. "And what have you been teaching him?"
"Short sword. Trying to build his confidence with it. He's green with weapons, but I'm also trying to encourage him to adjust his body for fighting." Freyja shook Bellona's hand when it was finally offered, then stepped aside. "Kaz, come over here. This is Bellona. Don't make her angry. Actually, don't make her happy, either. Or horny. I'd go for just doing what she says and learning what you can."
"'Adjust his body'?" Gaze never leaving Kaz, Bellona inhaled his scent, listened to the play of his muscles, and watched the twitches of his nerves reacting to her presence. "Shapeshifter. Interesting, and you can take on the power of multiple forms at once?" Turning to look at Freyja again, Bellona's blood was pumping with excitement. "Clay! You have brought me clay! I can make him into a fighter, Freyja, but it will change him."
"Change me?" Kaz asked.
Rounding again on Kaz, Bellona smirked at him. "I will train you and bloody you in war. I will teach you to use that sword you keep glancing at, and other weapons, like they were extensions of your body. And, I will teach you to enjoy holding a sword and dancing among the soon-to-be dead."
The air around Kaz was thick with the promise of violence and death. It was such a heady emotional torrent that he felt like he wanted to howl and hunt. A shiver ran through him, and for an instant he pondered just leaving this realm of cold, hard Norse deities and running wild beside Bellona, waging war and killing indiscriminately on a battlefield.
But, when everything seemed to crowd around him heavily, Kaz felt the two core magics he possessed jerk him back from that. His left side, life—his right side, death. Neither separate nor combined did they come close to what Bellona's energy was. Kaz stepped back from the madness and could breathe again.
He didn't even notice that Bellona was standing right in front of him, only a bare inch or two from touching him. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Don't surrender yourself to the madness, conquer it. You will be far stronger."
Eyes locked with hers, Kaz nodded slightly and fought to tread water, to rise above the bloodlust and rage. "G-Got it."
"When can I train him?" Bellona, with her gaze now on Freyja, stepped closer and was just about close enough to kiss the other goddess.
"Show him how to reach your home. He will be able to work enough magic to reach it." Freyja, with Bellona so close, had an irrational desire to get rid of Kaz. The only reason she didn't was how much he interested her as well.
Not moving away from Freyja, Bellona reached to her belt and pulled out a coin to flick to Kaz. "Take that and go. When you are ready to start training, come to me. Bring nothing, not weapons nor armor nor even clothes. It will be provided and I will teach you how to use them."
Catching the coin, Kaz felt it burn with Bellona's energy. It was a cocktail of emotions he still wasn't ready for. He was sure that no matter where or when, he could find her with such an icon. On one side was a man's head, pretty typical for coins, and on the other was INV. Around the outside was more lettering that at once looked familiar, but at the same time was completely alien in language.
"Kaz," Freyja said, "I want you practicing that dance. Learn it and come back to me in a week. Also, practice incorporating more power into your normal, human-looking form. I want you using that from now on."
It was a dismissal, and Kaz knew it. Gods were odd like that, and it was just a mild bit of shock that he was getting used to dealing with them. Bowing his head, he turned and walked from Freyja's hall.
Once outside in the warm summer field of Folkvangr, Kaz drew on his magic and opened a single hole between worlds, then stepped through it into his back garden.
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Four days spent doing the "dance" as often as he could while trying to work more durability and speed into his body had left Kaz feeling more than a little exhausted at the end of each day. It had taken a day of trying things out before he figured he could integrate just his muscles and bones as redcap versions.
His skin was a harder thing. What he opted for was to use redcap skin for most of his body, but then have his joints layered with dragon scales, then used an illusion spell Jaybird had provided to help him hide the scales rather than make them into something else.
Next up was his senses. What to use for his eyes was an easy choice: feline. Not only was he used to them, but he could just tell anyone who asked him that they were contacts and he was a furry. For a sense of smell he'd gone with those of his winter wolf.
With all that figured out in three days, he'd spent the entire fourth getting used to all the odd sensory input. He'd added just enough dragon to himself to retain access to some draconic mana weaving and mana sensing. Now he was wired up, twenty-four/seven, to be stronger, faster, more resilient, and have sharper and new senses. So he spent that day getting used to it, but at the same time realizing he was going to have to spend a lot more before it was just as comfortable as his normal body.
He took the evening off from practice and spent it indoors, relaxing with Jaybird and Puff. Miaow too, though he'd noticed her being far quieter than usual. Cuddled between the two women on the couch—some cartoon playing that he wasn't too focused on—Kaz finally broke the ice. ᱿Miaow, are you okay.᱿
᱿Yeah. Puff is taking good care of me. I'm going to need your help.᱿ Miaow didn't like asking Kaz for help, given everything he'd done for her already. ᱿I need you to make me a female, feline version of your body.᱿
᱿You want to train, too?᱿ Kaz asked.
᱿Yeah. You'll have to introduce me to Bellona. Kaz, I'm a little scared of what this training might do to us. I liked your—I like the way you always try to solve things without fighting. Are we changing that?᱿
᱿I'm not going to change that, Miaow. I just don't want us to be pushed around again. This—what happened with Aphrodite—was more than either of us could handle. I don't want to feel that weak again.᱿
᱿You were never weak.᱿
᱿I know. I was young and inexperienced. Well, my experience tells me now I need to grow up and learn to fight back. If—when—Ragnarok happens, I don't want to sit by and worry about everyone I've gotten to know.᱿
Miaow stayed silent at that. Kaz had learned he had people he wanted to protect, and she could understand that. After a few moments of watching the heroes in the cartoon power up and defeat the bad guy, she had more to tell him. ᱿Freyja isn't so bad, but Bellona scares me.᱿
᱿She scares me too. I think—No, I know she taught me how to fear again. Lots of terror there, and that was just her looking at me. I wanted to run with her, then and there. I wanted to taste blood and fight beside her just for the joy of fighting.᱿ Kaz froze a moment, collecting his thoughts. ᱿I guess she taught me joy, too. The reason I didn't was that people need me. Everyone here, you, even Hel and Loki.᱿
᱿Anchors. That's what that's called, right? Anchoring you as well as supporting you. You have a reason to learn and not let her get under your skin.᱿ Purring now, the first time she'd purred since before they ran into Aphrodite, Miaow finally relaxed and let her guard down to Kaz. ᱿This is easier now I know your motivation. I was—I was worried you were doing all this for the wrong reasons.᱿
᱿I hope they're the right reasons, because they're all the reasons I have.᱿ Reaching his arms up and back, Kaz put one around Jaybird and one around Puff and hugged them a bit closer. "Who's winning?"
"The Jenovans aren't letting up and are attacking with everything they have." Jaybird knew that anime wasn't Kaz's thing, which was why having him there to cuddle with meant so much to them. "After this, do you want to watch something else?"
"Nope, but I will continue to enjoy watching you watch it." Leaning over, Kaz kissed Jaybird on the cheek. The moment after he'd done it, he felt surprise. It had been several months since he'd awoken, and this was the most forward emotion he'd had toward Jaybird.
Blinking at Kaz, turning their head so the next kiss landed on their lips, Jaybird completely melted at the first flicker of love. It was weak, pure, and untainted by the horror that Hel had described to them. Letting their eyes flutter closed, Jaybird leaned against Kaz, letting the love grow into a more steady flame.
Miaow just watched and felt what Kaz was experiencing. She couldn't count the times she'd woken up in bed before Kaz did, cuddled against Jaybird. They were as much Miaow's cuddle-buddy as Puff was Kaz's. What surprised her, though, was the fierceness of Jaybird's reciprocation. Kaz was moving forward, searching their body with one hand, and Jaybird was returning the gesture. ᱿Maybe go to bed and show your little bird what they mean to you?᱿
᱿Yeah. I think I will.᱿
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This story is released under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license. If you are paying money to see this or the original creator, Damaged, is not credited, you are viewing a plagiarized copy of the story.