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Madness Led by the Hands
Paths and Struggles I

Paths and Struggles I

An amethyst lake lay impressively calm in front of her amber eyes as she lay there relaxed. Playing in the water and occasionally submerging in the cool lake with her naked, perfectly straight feet, she looked absolutely stunning.

Silky grey-blue strands cascading down her mesmerising, delicate face only added to the impression. Against such a fairy no mortal could blaspheme. This was Queen Azariah in relaxing mode.

As she immersed herself in her merry mood, Azariah often parted her lips in far-reaching, chime-like laughter that soothed the soul and warmed the heart. On that day, she was not by herself.

Linlin sat right behind her on the same raft, drifting aimlessly about the breathtaking lake, his back ramshackle straight and his expression deadpan, as if everything that happened around him was just a cruel joke he was prisoner to.

A situation that should be resolved as soon as possible. Linlin’s mindscape could only accommodate one beauty, and it wasn’t Azariah. He shouldn’t think of it...

The beauty of alchemy. If only he could grow wings, leave this beautiful paradise and return to the soothing company of bulgy cauldrons...

Pansy had all his hands full shielding his counterpart’s thoughts from the hivemind while the agent bemoaned their unfortunate fate. Useless and highly dangerous actions to take... Azariah’s happiness was palpable there, which was exactly the problem.

After two weeks of fruitful tinkering, the duo discovered some new recipes to add to their repertoire and even more inconsistencies to brood over. It was a long and arduous road towards becoming an intermediate alchemist, but it was also fun.

Just when they were beginning to think Azariah’s unreasonable request for the special herbal liquid had been dealt with and her meddling over, the Queenant playfully crashed the party: She imprisoned them on a shaky raft.

Pansy would have loved to give her a tongue lashing, but what could he say? The Big Boss was just too damn unreasonable and powerful on top of all that.

Pansy had persuaded the agent to act in their best interests so that they could return to the lovely cauldrons and the difficult research as soon as possible. That was strenuous work to say the least.

Today, they simply had to comply. Even if it meant wronging their alchemical studies and hypothesis verifications, which equated to dusting off the terrible mess in their mindscape.

“Hm, hmm, so-hmm-hm.” With glee and troublesomely bright eyes, the retarded queen dared hum a song in their faces as she took a darn break.

On that end, Pansy wondered, could Azariah just take a break if the Queenant was, in essence, a living breathing hub? Her absence didn’t significantly affect the hivemind’s performance, of that the Master Strategist was sure.

They were bobbing up and down on the raft condemned to this amethyst lake, both wishing the day would end soon. In addition, the raft was, first, made by ants and, second, too small for comfort.

Linlin’s haphephobia outbursts threatened to harm them all whenever Azariah moved a bit closer. The queen would likely be strangled, which might ruin her day, and Linlin would undoubtedly be beaten half to death at best.

‘Sigh. It looks like we’re stuck here for a while. Stupid, why not ask a few relevant questions.’ ‘...here goes nothing.’ “Hey Azariah. This Bhewtis-Dhghomōn–––if I’m spelling it right–––what’s up with it?”

‘This is already known to us.’ The merry laughter reached a climax as Azariah was just a few inches from sliding down the raft, threatening to take Linlin with her. ‘See, it’s a suitable question. She’s laughing so hard that she might tire out any second.’

‘This idea isn’t one I would put my trust in if I were you. Even though your plan is cute, it might just be wishful thinking.’ ‘At least I did something, unlike you.’ ‘I can’t. She forbade me. I’m getting groundlessly hated here, if you haven’t noticed. Sigh.’

“Bhewtis-Dhghomōn. Among the many names I can call you, Bhewtis-Dhghomōn is a first––––pruahahaha!” Azariah roared, totally unladylike.

‘An enjoyable laugh to tire her out, was it? Now we shall see how you handle her. C’mon, entertain me! And remember, you have to deal with her on your own.’

“...can you not make it seem as if I’m retarded?” Barked Linlin all disgruntled, which only served to further fuel her amusement. One part was due to the sheer amount of ridicule that familiar term entailed, the other part was due to how insensitive this new partner was toward literally anything that wasn’t scheming, vanquishing, or alchemical in essence.

Queen Azariah understood that, while the hivemind helped up to a point, it could never replace personal understanding. These reactions really made it easy for the queen to read our protagonist.

The agent, to be precise. Not Pansy. That personality remained a mystery, one that gave her shivers. Azariah roared even louder. To think she was so afraid of a proper discussion not so long ago...

“Oh, you spoilsport. Can you relax and forget the worries of everyday life for one day? Enjoy the picturesque water lilies while you’re at it? How about the cute fish hiding below or the peace and tranquillity you say you seek but never seem to find?

If you don’t calm down, I’ll tear you away from your stupid cauldrons whenever I see fit. Training, research, synthesis, food and sleep. Your gloomy life in a nutshell” Urk...” Linlin grew frightened at her mention and lit a cigar to combat the fear.

“No smoking either. Do not try to force me to confiscate the sewerage you call brewage. For the entire day, no intoxicants!” Before he could protest, the queen took his cigar and threw it into the lake.

Linlin winced. A better-tasting cigar swam away. It floated for a few moments on the surface before it absorbed too much water, partially unwrapped, and sank.

Now he had to calm his nerves and control his rising haphephobia levels in a different way. Linlin swayed on the raft, and it was not due to any sudden swell.

Pansy had to admit. Queen Azariah sure knew how to bruteforce her supposed love upon the agent. Under her thumb, he may even live a better, healthier life because of his fear of her.

And Azariah didn’t ask for much in return. That was the most ridiculous thing of all. Just joining her for a swim or accompanying her as they soaked up the sunny forest wonderland atmosphere wasn’t much, after all.

But this simple thing made Azariah happy and helped her overcome her own share of problems. The only issue was, Linlin couldn’t give her what she desired.

When he didn’t have a sharp weapon in hand or a death grip around a throat, close contact was his bane. The agent exerted remarkable self-control. Pansy had warned him, so he had to act accordingly. But it wasn’t easy.

Azariah became even happier when Linlin appeared to intently listen to her. “Though... you, Bhewtis-Dhghomōn?” As soon as she remembered that part, she couldn’t hold back her laughter.

The agent was taken aback by the sudden switch from serious talk to mad laughter. But what could he do? “Ha… hehehehahahaha!!”

The shaking intensified and threatened to capsize the small raft so much that Linlin didn’t know better than to jump to the furthest end in an effort to stabilise it.

Meanwhile, the humoured Queenant seemed to lose even the last of her marbles as she tumbled backwards right into our cursing protagonist’s widely wriggling arms while breathing a breathless, “that… you?! You a... hahahehehehaha! I’m dying here, dying I say,” down his neck.

Then came the unacceptable event. Both were huddled together at one end, and Linlin flared up. The raft capsized. When they landed in the amethyst lake, they generated wild ripples. The lake was no longer calm.

“Pruah!” Linlin tried hard not to sink like a stone. His holey, water-soaked clothes were just a part of his suffering. He was most bothered by the clingy queen, who weighed unladylike tonnes and hopelessly entangled his feet with hers.

Amidst the panic attack that resulted, Linlin gurgled for air but found none. “Fuck… puff, pruffah… off! Splurch, spat... ‘m sinkin’… uff.” ‘Get out, get out! Hurry, Stupid, get out!’

‘Trying.’ ‘Not enough. Move, goddangit. Move before the System decides upon the next instance of innermost desire.’ While swallowing mouthfuls of omnipresent, bittersweet water and some sort of krill, our protagonist completely lost it. Fear overruled his rationality.

No amount of Azariah’s jolly laughter could prompt him to reconsider. He headbutted, pinched, kicked, and punched, using every skill he deemed relevant to increase the damage he was doing.

Being on the receiving end of Linlin’s madness, the queen was shocked by the sudden onslaught of torment. Azariah turned her head at the right moment to receive more pain.

Bang!! An empowered punch landed squarely on her nose, leaving her face in excruciating pain. Screeching furiously, her righteous retribution literally kicked the entire body of water down a notch as she leapt up in a high arc.

It was now our protagonist’s turn to grab his body with both hands, more specifically his butt. The force of her incredible jump was so overwhelming that her rock-like kneecaps threatened to rip him a brand-new one; nature forbid.

Had it not been for Queen Azariah regaining some sanity in the nick of time and grabbing his shoulder, he probably would have shot down a star.

Having ascended some fifty-odd metres (~164 ft) above water levels in an instant, their combined weight made it so the two landed on the water with the finesse of an elephant and the impact of a meteorite.

After regaining control over his spasming muscles, Linlin hastily bound a spare blindfold around his eyes that he was used to carrying at all times. His first one had flown away.

He was able to perceive his surroundings again once he calmed down enough, but haphephobia caught up with him again. Linlin found himself in the beauty’s arms like a princess would love to if this lady was a brilliant knight in shining armour instead of a monstrous teenage girl clamping down hard.

Though Linlin’s feelings were far from amusement or silly anticipation, he couldn’t help but admit that this was far better than what would have happened had he fallen on his own from that height.

“Linchester Linde, you brat. Don’t ever dare do this again.” The Queenant’s voice was no longer merry, but rumbling like a volcano. Paranoia and haphephobia collided, and Linlin squeaked in terror.

He barely touched the drifting raft after he jumped out of her embrace. Likewise, Pansy couldn’t contain the poisonous thoughts any longer, resulting in the unforgiving tsunami in their mindscape spilling over into the hivemind and causing chaos left and right.

Azariah was about to add more fiery lines when a barrage of unfounded fears and fantastical worries halted her. With her intellect and control over the hivemind, it was not difficult to reconstruct Linlin’s plight that led to this unfortunate incident.

She even discovered something new after digging a little deeper. Needless to mention, she was not pleased with her findings. “Sigh. How come you haven’t said anything?

And I’m not talking about right now. You had the time, so you should have told me about your suffering, your... limitations. Makes me seem like one incredibly selfish tyrant. ...you okay?” “...no.”

“Can I help?” “Keep your distance. Float where you are in the air and do not approach me at all. Being connected to the hivemind was like having as many people to share his pain and confusion with as there were members.

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It didn’t take long for Linlin to calm down. Nevertheless, with the memory of her wanting to play and him blowing his head off too fresh, he could not allow her to carelessly approach.

In that short moment, he relived a handful of episodes that made up the trauma. It rendered the agent unstable and Pansy at a loss for words. Therefore, anything beyond this would make it impossible to tell how ugly things could get.

“Wanna talk?” Asked Azariah with all the warmth she could muster, but Linlin shook his head. “Maybe someday... maybe never.” Queen Azariah would have misinterpreted his helpless negation if it weren’t for the hivemind.

“Alright. You can talk all you want when you feel ready. Would you mind doing the same for me?” “Consider it done.” “Good. You’ve got an awful lot to ask me.

I recognise most questions, but it’s you that decides the order. Likewise, it’s up to you to let me know what you want and what you don’t.

Our relationship is not one of superior and subordinate. We are equal.” True equality was a foreign concept to both personalities, so they were inherently very hesitant to embrace it.

Seeing him finally give a weak nod, the queen sighed in exasperation, for the jovial atmosphere was totally destroyed. “How to rouse it. Psychic power, I mean.” At the prompting of Pansy, the agent asked a meaningful question during the awkward break that followed.

“For training to better communicate with us?” Azariah nodded understandingly, hesitated for a moment, shook her head, growled annoyedly, and was about to float over. Her heart sank as she saw Linlin freeze up once again. “Right, the distance. Sorry.”

Linlin simply shook his head, opting not to speak back. “The mainstream methods are nothing complicated, really. Stretch out your palms.” Azariah held out her wet hands a safe distance away while instructing him to do the same.

Linlin began to feel a powerful energy flowing through him as soon as she made the connection over the air. It continued to flow from her right hand over to him, then through his body up to his brain.

There, it concentrated before cycling back into her through her left. “The source of psychic energy, also referred to as mana by magical professions, is the soul.

All people have the same kind of soul, so anyone can also help charge them up, if the need arises. However, this does not mean talent is equally distributed. Let me draw an analogy from everyday life.

If the body is a container, the soul is its most precious cargo. It is, however, inefficient and problematic to transport only one item per container.

Inefficient because you’d need to fill the space with something, lest the content within crumble after improper handling. Problematic because life takes from the world and death gives.

If there is little left over to give, we create an imbalance. No merchant would agree to such folly as bankruptcy lies at the end of this road.” The content of Azariah’s explanation was highly unsettling.

“So, are humans just fancy transporters with a will?” She laughed in ridicule. “Not just humans, any specimen with a soul is. For planes to rear life, they need energy as well.

Just like the owners of a big farm. There will be few animals if there is no feed. And you buy this feed with the death of their companions.

Thus, the greater the number of living creatures, the more consistent death will be, and the more stable the loop. That’s why there are so many mortals in a world of magic and cultivation.

Those who are aware of the truth do not wish to increase their suffering.” Azariah shrugged while expertly controlling the flow of energy. It seemed she had little love left for the so-called mighty.

“Because with nobody transporting the special goods, somebody would ask them to pay up? Who has this kind of power?” “The realm itself has.

Generally, you pay the landlord, who pays the prefecture, who then pays the government. You don’t pay taxes and are influential? It doesn’t matter to me, because I derive other benefits from your presence.

However, one thing I cannot stomach is if you tell others how to follow in your footsteps. The realm is much more simple, extremely efficient yet brutal.

There is no difference between a mighty cultivator and a dirty mortal. Only their transportation capacity differs. When the realm makes a move, it won’t pick starved pigs–––given the slaughter requires more energy input for less gain–––but the really fat ones.

In theory, if you wish to exist above its rules, you can. All you have to do is break out of the realm. Yet who can defeat the place where they were born? The odds are extremely slim.

To top that off, this sweet outside is much more dangerous. However, specialists of magical professions will not accept this explanation because it strips them bare. Glory and power are what they are after when they speak of seeking the truth.”

“O-okay. So keeping people dirty, dumb and mortal is the way to go.” The queen gently looked at him and smiled. “Precisely. Always bear this in mind when living among others.

Nevertheless, there are still gaps that can be exploited if you know how and are lucky. You may, in rare cases, continue to exist after death–––meaning, you have to overcome a completely different set of challenges than those you faced during your lifetime.

You start over from scratch in any other case, as your progress, personality, and memories are wiped. It is only reincarnators who retain bits and pieces here and there but not psychic power or qi.

In addition, they don’t get to choose their container. So if the new container lacks talent, then the chance has been wasted and their fate will deteriorate as they cannot go on indefinitely.

Because they exist on borrowed time and live in a broken continuation, their overall limitations are truly terrible. It is so bad that some even prefer death over the alternative as the Netherworld will–”

Suddenly, Pansy interjected: “But what does this have to do with communication?” ‘Isn’t this interesting, Pansy? Netherworld and all that?’ ‘...yes. I’m no longer interfering...’

“Ah! U-uhh... I-it’s helpful to know? A-anyway, psychic power can be developed just like any other power. Through constant use and full recharge, you strengthen it.” “Like a well to expand?” “...goal is an endless, roaring sea, no well.

No matter what you choose as your source of power, the truth remains the same: Easy to get into, difficult to master.” Azariah said with a dark tone, as many unsavoury thoughts swept through her mind.

The influx of energy slowed until Linlin finally felt the two streaks of his own intertwined with hers as the two further separated. Barely any time had passed, but our protagonist felt as exhausted as he would’ve been, had he run a marathon at full sprint.

“You’re fortunate, the process worked out well.” Linlin’s apathetic face quivered before quickly returning to his usual expression. Well, he continued to take in breaths as the agent tried to calm a certain furious Master Strategist.

“This is the most effective process. Yet also the most dangerous. By inciting your mental power with my own, I invigorated your vessel.”

The queen explained in an indifferent tone, her attention was caught again by the water lilies growing in the lake’s central area. These were the few that survived her horrendous leap and the giant ripple it produced.

“Had it failed, blood and gore would be all that’s left of your head.” Grinning from ear to ear in response to Linlin’s turbulent psychic frequencies, she stopped teasing our poor protagonists and savoured the moment.

Embarrassing her? How dare he! The consequences were dire! Queen Azariah lightheartedly put things right after a few minutes of wicked happiness:

“This would’ve never happened–––not as long as I’m around!” Linlin still gave a tentative nod, still unconvinced by her words. “Now tend to your practice before you forget the sensation.

Get familiar with the flow, perhaps you can develop a technique just for yourself?” Azariah chuckled ignominiously, not at all convinced by the practicality of her suggestion.

Ascertaining how best to use this most barbaric method was up to each individual. It was dependent on how much torture they desired.

The average person would not be able to silently endure wave after wave of terrible, head-splitting pain just for a few meagre increments.

Fewer still were geniuses enough to adapt this practice to their own bodily requirements and create a special technique just for them.

Without knowing all this, the agent redirected his attention to their shared mindscape only to wake up the next moment and blink under the blindfold.

“What? You feel the difficulty?” This was just what Azariah wanted. He was gifted in alchemy but based on his character he should not be gifted in psychic techniques as well.

Linlin didn’t have the patience nor the drive to spend so much time on a possibly futile endeavour. “Difficult? Surely not. One pushes, the other pulls. Like increasing muscle size.

Energy depletes and time refills, that’s it.” “…” “Azariah?” “…” “Hello?” “…nothing?” The Queenant felt like sending our protagonist into outer space after this careless remark.

After seeing him squirm for a bit, she would have provided her own method. But now... he’d moved ahead and created one of his own, no matter how basic. Linlin didn’t follow the script!

Then again, maybe this was for the best. Rather than dwell on this idea any longer, Azariah snapped her fingers twice and changed the topic faster than Linlin could shut his mouth. The one-time counter she had refrained from using earlier was best suited for now.

“The time span between one snap and the other, how long is it?” “...mere seconds?” Linlin didn’t follow, but he answered honestly. “I knew it.”

Queen Azariah sighed and theatrically turned her head to face him directly, feeling superior. “Your sense of time is flawed. I guess it’s natural where you come from.

But not here, partner.” She made the earlier fiasco seem like a distant memory no one would care to remember. At least, that was her intention. She had to feel smug now that it was lesson time! It was precious! Otherwise, something went terribly wrong...

Our protagonist stared at her fingertips in contemplation, then something dawned on him and he waited impatiently for her to continue.

No ant had any need for a watch. Each followed their own inner clock, so he could never have gotten this information in detail from the hivemind.

Pansy suspected as much, but suspicion was simply that: A feeling that something wasn’t quite right. A feeling he got day and night...

Azariah would know about it. However, she was so high up in the commando chain that by the time they go through, the duo would have already forgotten about it. “That was one second.

Thirty of these are a minute, eighty minutes an hour, thirty-five hours a day, forty days a month and thirteen months a year. You follow?”

“…not quite. And a week?” Azariah grinned cheekily, proudly showing him her pearl white teeth and rosy lips. “A week? How long is that? Central does not have such a concept, so it would be better to bury it forever.”

Afterwards, she repeated herself patiently again, this time using different words. In the end, she made Linlin understand he better get the hang of it soon, or else he’d raise suspicion at every turn, were he to be in the company of sentient lifeforms.

Now after using up her joker and flaunting her superiority in Linlin’s face, Queen Azariah didn’t feel nearly as good as she had anticipated.

She had considered herself capable enough to help during synthesis. Azariah was proved drastically wrong. Likewise, she thought she could scare Lord Chartres off, which did not turn out as she had hoped.

After even being stripped of the title of psychic cultivation genius, her self-esteem was destroyed. At that point, the queen began to feel as if she was on the verge of becoming a snobbish incompetent–––and that had to be prevented at all costs!

“That woman.” “…?” “You know, that one. What are your plans?” “…nada.” “Hah… think about it, please. That creature must get a job, do something productive.

If mankind has an inordinate amount of free time on their hands, strange things occur. Very nasty things. Neither do I run a charity, which you should keep in mind for the future.

The help we provide is strictly limited. For two weeks, we fed her as she was terribly weak and disoriented. This is no solution. I demand that she become self-sufficient over time.”

“…why not give her the snake? Babysitting and all...” A wall of air crashed into the agent, sending him flying off the raft. Azariah watched, with what appeared to be an angry scowl on her doll face, as he swam to and fro, making sure he could not return to the raft as fast as he would’ve liked.

“Seriously? You’re that adorable cutie-pie’s Godfather. Act like one. Instead of planning to visit or play with that anxious child, you shove it towards another’s bosom?” “Kids and females–” “The sexist move, really? Kassmera is a total stranger!”

As Linlin stubbornly swam towards the raft, he refused to listen to any of her advice that was Chinese to his ears. Whenever he came close to it, the raft drifted away right in front of his nose, so he had to start his pursuit all over again.

After more or less two hours of concentrated scolding, Azariah calmed down and let the yapping man get on the raft and breathe as if there was no tomorrow.

“Name.” “What?” Linlin asked bluntly between many gasps for breath before he began massaging his ice-cold feet in an attempt to hammer warmth into them. “That cutie-pie needs a name.” “Yes.”

“No. Not yes, a name–––now!” “…yesss.” “Sigh. That useless bugger should stay away from me, otherwise, tsk, tsk. Has never learned how to stand on her own two feet. Worse than Chartres, on all fronts!” “...”

Azariah quickly lost interest in wasting time here after giving her partner’s body a quick once-over and guided the raft back to shore.

A good night’s sleep would be sufficient to cure his ailments. She couldn’t be too soft here. It was punishment, after all! As for the return journey, it suffered from nothing except suppressive silence.

Her mood was so heavy she felt as if the same sunshine that had enlivened it earlier was now a pale shine she’d once seen in the Abyss.

Meanwhile, the Master Strategist was about to finalise a formula that would indicate how many arguments each day could endure before shit hit the fan–––with slightly altered parameters based on his newfound understanding of Central.

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As soon as Linlin got firm ground under his feet, he seemed to come alive again. He was just about to escape with all he had when Azariah called him back. “No intoxicants for the rest of the day, got that? Tomorrow, a name for the cutie-pie.

No buts. And,” the Master Strategist took note of her wish as one would of a divine decree, while his counterpart already had his feet running, only to realise the ground below was gone.

“Am I that scary? Why would you do this to me?” It was Azariah who held him suspended in the air with one hand and steel-like grip as she took her sweet time whispering to him.

If she only knew how much trouble that brought to Pansy’s doorstep, as haphephobia symptoms couldn’t be turned on and off as one liked! “The mimic wishes to see you. The discussion you had last time seemed to have been fruitful.”

Azariah let Linlin go after that and watched his receding back until it vanished completely behind the lush undergrowth’s greedy fangs. “…my precious break…” A lone tear rolled down her rosy cheek.

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End of Part I