Space folded and zipped past the spectral ship in a kaleidoscope of dark colors. An age passed, but for those on board it was barely five minutes.
“Tell me straight, kid: how screwed are we?” Cross asked Scott. The skeleton considered.
“Very. This is the absolute worst-case scenario. No matter what, we can’t let the Last Alarm wake Azathoth. To be honest, I was kinda planning on disrupting the ritual, I know a couple things I could do to suck him into limbo with that. You want a plan? Sorry, I’m winging it as much as you now.” Scott said with a shrug, suppressing a hysterical giggle. Not good, not good, not good…
“B-Boss, are we gonna die?” Riley asked him. He smiled and patted her head.
“No. Oblivion isn’t death. But we’re gonna make sure that doesn’t happen.” he tried to say reassuringly, but it sounded hollow.
“Don’t worry. Even if there isn’t a plan, I know we’ll win. We have to.” Amber said.
“Right. Oh boy, get ready. We’re almost there.” Scott said. The strange tunnel-ness of the lights faded, and they found themselves in the vastness of outer space.
“Holy crap!” Connor exclaimed. “Wait, I can breathe!?”
“It’s cause of that.” Scott said, pointing a boney finger. A gigantic pileup of purplish-green clouds swirled in the distance, vague figures dancing and cavorting around in a circle. Even from here, they could faintly make out the thin whine of monotonous flutes. “That area is deceptively hospitable. Anything could live there. If they had the nerve.”
“Let’s not though.” Amber said. She could faintly hear drumbeats, and they were maddening.
‘Fear not, child. You are stronger than you think. You will not be overcome by those silly instruments. I am currently watching through your eyes. Steel yourself, I am with you. We all are.’ the uylata spider’s thoughts suddenly came to Amber, enveloping her in a soft yellow glow. Her eyes flashed crystal blue, and she felt the strength of the uylata pour into her, like casting off a heavy weight. She smiled as she could hear the telepathic voices of her brethren. “The Mother Spider is with us.” she said.
“Good, I think we’re gonna need all the help we can get.” Cross muttered. “How you holding up?” she asked Leo, holding onto his stump of a side.
“Good enough to fight. We can’t let the universe be destroyed. That’s all that matters right now.” he said, smiling grimly. Suddenly, he paled. “W-What? Did…no.”
There was a noise behind them. They all turned to see an enormous mass of flesh and tentacles fall, bleeding strangely-colored blood. Three burning eyes in the center gasped and closed. Leo gaped in abject horror. Every nerve felt paralyzed.
“No. That’s…that’s…” Though he had never laid eyes on the creature before, there could be no doubt.
“Zet-Mathaig itself. He’s dead." Scott said quietly.
Far away on Earth, Lagdinras suddenly stilled, along with the other messengers and holy disciples, knowing what had happened to their lord.
“No no no, this can’t be happening.” Leo said in disbelief. His wrist grew heavy, the sword charm reverting to a normal sword and falling to the deck. He wordlessly picked it up. It was still of fine, exceptional make, unnaturally balanced, hard, and sharp. But that strange, mystic quality was simply…gone. He tried to light it aflame. It remained cold and lifeless.
“Don’t worry, he’s dead, but that can’t keep one like him down. He’ll be back…eventually. I hope.” Scott tried to reassure him, and Leo nodded wordlessly. It felt like a comforting blanket had been thrown off, exposing bare flesh to extreme cold.
“Ha ha ha! Arrogant fool!” A colossal black shadow loomed over Zet-Mathaig’s remains, blotting out stars. A glowing pink eye burned in the mass as it shrank back into Delacroix’s shadow. “I have scoured the universe for aeons! There is no magic that I have no knowledge of! Complacent idiots! While your kind was plotting how to rule this wretched multiverse, I was seeking out greater and more esoteric knowledge! So now, after all this time, my practice and my plans have paid off! At far too long last, I shall wake Azathoth!”
“Hey you! Bastard!” Riepaimva stilled. He turned his black head. There. In front of him. Again. In his little flying ship, with his big speeches and plans. The little necromantic speedbump.
“How-how in the world…” Delacroix wondered. This shouldn’t be possible.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t know how they broke through the spell, but we can break them easily enough now.” Fausto said, flexing and shredding his disguise. This couldn’t be possible.
Yet that necromancer was once again here.
“‘Bastard.’ I’ve been called that so much it should be one of my titles.” Riepaimva said, drawing closer and smaller to inspect the thing standing between him and his goal. “What are you doing here? I thought your resistance was crushed.”
“Yeah see, that’s the thing; we don’t wanna be crushed!” Scott proclaimed, striding up to the prow. “If you wake him up, everything goes bye-bye! He dreams all of reality into being! This’s, for lack of a better word, stupid! You’ll be erased too if he wakes up!”
“Now, we’ve had our differences. I’ll admit we started out opposed to each other. But if only for a moment, think! I’ve seen what you can do, and heard what you’ve done in the past. You’ve gone beyond just searching for spells, you’ve done the same as me and invented new ones, and devices to capitalize on them! You’ve clawed your way up to here, the top of the cosmic food chain! I can empathize with your struggle. I’ve been looked down on too, and I’ve made everyone who’s ever mocked me or necromancy regret it. As have you. You were sneered at by other gods, the history’s recorded in the Necronomicon. After Atlantis, you were sealed in a sub-dimension, cast out from interacting with anything else, and nearly all methods of summoning you from that hell were destroyed. You and me, we’re not so different form one another. We both stand at the pillars of our fields now, leaders of our respective forces.”
“But we don’t have to be enemies! Just think of the possibilities, what we could accomplish if we joined forces!” All eyes on the ship went wide. “Join me, and we can rule the universe together!” He held out a hand imploringly, but was yanked back by Amber. Riepaimva was still, apparently frozen in shock.
“S-S-Scooooott! What the #$@% do you think you’re doing!?” she whispered fiercely at him.
“Shut! Up!” he whispered back through gritted teeth, his voice going higher with every word. “If he actually agrees to this, I can get him to agree to other, more peaceful things and the universe won’t be destroyed!” He turned back to the god. “All your power and knowledge, combined with my ingenuity and ambition! We would want for nothing! All would be forced to bow before our combined might! Together, we could do anything!”
“Oh my God.” Cross muttered. The logic was there, but her trigger finger was itchy.
Riepaimva was silent, the hot pink eye staring down at him incredulously. Then, he began to shake.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
“You…you…how DARE you! Filth! Rotten corpse! With that you’ve proven you’re the bastard, not I! My mission is a holy one! I have waited aeons for the chance to complete it!” he declared angrily, sweeping out his arms. A pink aura crackled to life, around him, his eye blazing brighter. Delacroix and Mephitomonagnarious took a step back, ducking away from the gods’ rage. Said god pointed an accusatory finger at Scott.
“You are the lowest, vilest scum there is! I cannot believe you would dare try to distract me from my duty! The sacred duty given to me by my lord and creator, the Daemon Sultan himself!”
Scott gaped at the eldritch being before him.
“W-What? You mean…”
“Yes! Lord Azathoth CHARGED me with waking him! That is my explicit purpose! That is why I exist! Because I must wake my lord, and destroy everything! Existence is a sin, an abominable, unforgivable sin that must be cleansed! You wretched foolish mortal cannot comprehend how much each and every unit of time that passes in which the universe continues to exist PAINS and DISGUSTS me!” Riepaimva shouted to the heart of the universe, frothing at his fang-filled mouths. Scott’s mind raced.
That was it. Everything was connected. If everything was a projection of Azathoth’s being, then Riepaimva’s existence made sense! Scott understood at last. It was similar with humans. The brain produced suicidal, dark thoughts like the sudden image or urge to throw oneself from a great height, or slicing into one’s veins with a blade. The Last Alarm, the Poisonous Thoughts; his titles suddenly made sense. Everything this being had done since its’ creation was in service of destroying everything. There was, could not be, any other true goal.
“Crap.” Scott said. “Ok then.” He picked up the microphone and said into the speakers, “Negotiations have failed! Plan B! Plan B!”
“No. There will be no more plans for you.” Riepaimva said, holding up a six-fingered hand. He chanted, light building up in his palm, ready to unleash a supernova on these pathetic fools.
“H-Hold on!” Cross shouted. The surge of light and heat shot out, accelerated millions of times faster than a natural supernova. Scott dropped his hands to the floorboards.
Amber screwed her eyes shut, preparing for the end…and it didn’t come. The light winked out behind them, having passed through them harmlessly. Scott grinned.
“The Dead Man’s Hand is a ghost ship. Ghosts don’t interact with matter.” he said, and the god frowned.
“Very well. Let’s see if you can live through this, then.” He sliced his own palm open, bleeding ebon ichor, chanting dozens of incantations from misshapen mouths opening everywhere on his body, the splashes of black bubbling and writhing, forming into bizarre, monstrous entities that descended to the ship, howling.
“Is…is that hemomancy!?” Nightfang said, watching his master’s skill turned against them.
“No, it’s more like my magic!” Bess corrected, recognizing some of the words. At least, the spell was based on the principals of biomancy.
“Crap, he’s got us, if I make the ship phase again we can’t affect him either, not if he doesn’t want us too.” Scott muttered frantically.
“Finish them. I go to wake him.” Riepaimva said, striding towards the center.
“Here they come!” Leo cried, readying his sword as the horde of monsters, along with Mephitomonagnarious rained down upon the ship.
“Scott! What do we do? How do we stop him!?” Amber said, staring into his eyelights. Scott went still, his mind in overdrive.
“We have to distract him. We can’t kill him, not like this, gods can’t truly die, though they are really dead…” He scanned the area, trying to take everything in at once. The ship, the Calamitous Ruination, the monsters, the corpse of Zet-Mathaig…wait.
He had it.
“Right! Maximum force!” He slapped a boney hand on the deck. “Crush those fools!”
The first seething wave of snarling monsters was almost upon them. Suddenly, a gigantic fist swung out, smashing into the horrible mindless creatures.
“What!?” Delacroix gaped, stopping his charge.
FWOOM!
Fire blossomed through the ranks of the horde, launched from three mouths. Delacroix stared in wonder as three enormous shapes dropped from the hull of the ship and began to engage the army.
“Get ‘em, big guy!” The Zombie Titan Mk. 1 groaned and swung his massive fists, splattering the monsters left and right.
“Oh! We got a doggie!” Riley squealed, watching the Zombie Titan Mk. 2: Cerberus howl and rip at the horde with its three canine heads, Scott laughing as he pressed a remote, triggering the flamethrowers at will.
“I-Is that-?” Amber gaped at the Zombie Titan Mk. 3, Yun’s colossal centipede servant/body, head reattached and snapping pincers, animated by Scott’s magic and attacking the forces it was previously aligned with.
“Reduce, reuse, recycle!” Scott gleefully gloated. “A monster like that? Hell yeah I want it! Now!” He grabbed the helm and spun it, turning the ship to point at Riepaimva. “Damn the monsters, full speed ahead!”
“You won’t!” Mephitomonagnarious said, floating down before the ship, aiming a ball of fire at them.
“No. You won’t, my boy.” Mephistopheles said, appearing and placing a hand on Mephitomonagnarious’s winged shoulder. He glanced at the elder daemon.
“You don’t understand. Move, old man. This will lead to the liberation of all daemonkind.”
“No, lad. You’re confused.” Mephistopheles said sadly, shaking his head. “What did that thing do to you?”
“You’re the one that’s confused!” Mephitomonagnarious snarled, swiping a hand at Mephistopheles’s teleporting face. “That won’t save you!” He pulled out several red pills, and swallowed them. “My contractor has given me powers beyond yours!” His eyes glowed red, and he began muttering incomprehensible words in a harsh tongue. He reached between folded space and pulled his uncle out of warped reality.
“This will be more difficult than expected.” Mephistopheles said coldly. “Scott! I will deal with this! Leave me!” he called.
“Way ahead of you!” Scott shouted, sailing towards the god, the ship besieged by a diminished horde of monsters. “Alright, listen up! Amber, Bess, Connor, Riley, you’re with me and the Titans! Everyone else, you guys hold him off! It’ll be hard, but just try to buy enough time. I believe in you!” He grabbed Amber and they jumped on Cerberus, Bess and the kids sliding down the centipede.
“What’s the plan!” Amber said as the zombies broke off from the ship, pursued by abominable creatures. Scott grinned, having the time of his undeath.
“Do what I do best!”
They arrived, and Amber instantly grasped his idea, shaking her head.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” she said in bewildered wonder.
“You have yet to see the full extent of my necromantic genius!” he declared. He motioned Bess over. “You right handed or left?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Right, why-” she started to ask, when he grabbed her left wrist, pulled out a wickedly curved dagger and plunged it into her arm, chanting. Everyone jumped and screamed, Bess frantically trying to pull away.
“Don’t squirm, you’ll only make it worse!” Scott barked, slowly pulling it out. He examined the blade, grinning as the blood formed into blazing red runes that wriggles like worms on the knife.
“WHAT! WHY!?” Bess screamed, holding her arm as Amber and the kids stared in horror.
“Oh, don’t be such a baby, you’ll live. The blood had to be taken from someone unwilling, and I wasn’t about to stab my girlfriend or the kids.” he explained, and she stared at him, mouth open and brow furrowed.
“You-you bastard!” she said, seeing the logic but still apoplectic. “You can’t just-” Then it hit her. She blinked. “…unwilling blood?” Scott nodded.
“Reverse flux of consecrated energy matrix A² + C² x B³÷10¹³ with necrotic deposits Ω for each metaphysical cashe, binding points A-G to space-time coordinates L-Q.” he said, and Bess widened her eyes.
“But what about influx form Sirius and Venus? 13 ± 450, which ≠ β x 667, depending on what kind of sacrifice is made in which phase of the moon. The entire parallel paradigm could be thrown off!” she countered. Scott raised a boney finger.
“We’re a the exact center of the universe in all dimensions, point Ø. Too far away for that to have any effect, I can substitute ?(∞)? for either of those reagents, due to the cosmic flow.”
“I see. That’s…that’s brilliant! I mean, if all metaphysical energies can be gathered…” Bess trialed off, rubbing her chin. This could work!
“It’s like a magnet. Remember, the path of least resistance? Trust me, Outer Gods don’t die, not exactly, but physical remains are physical remains. I’ll also need a couple of your creations to get back on board and retrieve something. Kinda forgot on the way over.” Scott said abashedly, and she nodded determinedly.
“You’re absolutely insane. I can get whatever you need.” Bess said.
“Whuh? What are you talking about?” Amber said, watching the exchange like a high schooler in physics listening to a debate between theoretical quantum physicists. Scott turned to her solemnly and held her close.
“Amber. I need you to listen very carefully. I know I have done…questionable things in the past. I know I’m not the most…sensitive. But this is the end of everything. Do you trust me?” she said, searching her eyes with toxic emerald green eyelights.
“Yes.” she said, no hesitation. She was getting worried, but the one thing she knew was when Scott started in like this, he had da plan to win. She could feel the uylata with her, thrumming the power through her veins. She would do whatever it took to save everyone. The skeleton nodded.
“Good. We need a human sacrifice. Please stab yourself in the heart with this.” He held out the dagger to her. She stared at it, then at him blankly.
“…what.”
“Hurry up, we need to move! You need to die!” he said, panic mounting as he saw the battle raging behind her, the monsters on their way.
“What!?” Amber screamed.
“Woman! Just stab yourself!” Scott screamed back, panicking. “Hurry up! Do it! Do it!”
The monsters arrived, slobbering and ready to kill.