CHAPTER 9 - THE CUISINE INN

Once they left the wizard’s house the forest gave way to fields of grass. The fields went up and down on little hills. Michaelah and Koji used this time to play with their new stuff. Michaelah laughed at Koji because he was swinging his plunger so much, and so hard, his knight’s helmet spun around his head. The panda fumbled around until he got the hang of it and then pushed the visor to the helmet back up.

"You look so cute with that belt on. The black leather goes nice with your fur."

If Michaelah could see his skin under his furry white cheeks she would be sure they were red. She realized he probably had never heard someone call him cute before and was probably blushing.

“What did he give me a plunger for? I wish he gave me a sword instead.” said Koji.

“And would you know how to use a sword?” asked Michaelah.

“No, but it would look a lot cooler with this helmet,” said Koji.

Michaelah laughed. “Well, I think you look great!”

“Thanks, Michaelah. So where are we going now?” asked Koji.

Michaelah took a good look at the map. The hills and fields would soon be cut off by a river they would have to cross. She told Koji this and continued explaining, “It looks like there is a place to cross called Harbor Town. Hopefully, they are nice there because after that our path gets a lot harder.”

“Scary Territory?” the panda asked.

“Yup,” said Michaelah.

“Maybe the people at Harbor Town can help us avoid Scary Territory.”

“The more I look at the map, the more I think there is no avoiding it… If we want to get to the Bamboo Palace,” said Michaelah.

“Shucks,” said Koji.

The day was getting late by the time they made it across the rolling fields. The sun set as they approached Harbor Town. They came upon an inn and decided to see if they could spend the night. When they entered the door, once again they were greeted with a strange sight. Koji took a deep breath.

Michaelah whispered to him, “I need to stop expecting to see humans every time we get to a new place.”

Inside the inn was a perfect representation of the people of Harbor Town. Aside from a few animals and plants here and there, most of the patrons (which is what people using the inn are called) could only be described as walking and talking food.

There was a couple of pizza slices wearing pants. Their eyes were made of black olives on top of pepperoni slices. There was a hotdog man with arms sticking out of his buns with very white gloves on. One table had a family of nachos with all the fixings. Their hair were strands of melted yellow cheese. A couple boxes of raisin kids ran around as their fruit cup parents wobbled after them.

Moo Shu Pork and his dumpling children got up from their table smiling and tumbled out the door of the inn. Little meatball bus boys rolled out of the kitchen to collect the plates and bowls from the table Moo Shu and the dumplings just left. Guys made of french fries argued with eachother over which dip was better, ketchup or mayonnaise, at another table. There was one corner of the room that looked like the freezer door was left open. In that corner, ice cream cones sat in stools specifically designed for their pointy bottoms. When they needed to leave their high-table, they spun across the floor instead of walking.

An omelet lady with broccoli hair sticking out of the top of her eggy head leaned over and kissed her husband who looked like a bacon egg and cheese on a sesame seed bagel. Michaelah could not believe what she was seeing and tried not to stare. Meanwhile Koji was getting increasingly scared.

“Um, Michaelah… I don’t like this.”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“It’s okay, Koji. Remember Slam the Spider? They’re probably the same way and just as weirded out by us as we are of them.”

And as if the entire room heard her, they all stopped what they were doing and looked over at the girl and the panda like they were aliens. There was a family of cheeseburgers, fully stacked with lettuce, tomato, onions, and pickles in their body. Michaelah wondered how they held themselves together. A spaghetti man spilled and looped his legs over to them. He was the owner of the establishment.

“Welcome to Cuisine Inn. I am Mr. Macaroni but you can just call me Guini.”

“Hello, Guini. We are travelers from another land and very tired. Might we stay at your inn tonight?”

“Yes, we do welcome all here. No matter how odd you look. And you’re in luck for we have a couple vacancies left.”

“I’m afraid,” Michaelah cut right to the chase, “That we don’t have any money.”

“What is mah-knee?” asked Guini.

Michaelah looked at Koji and Koji shrugged.

“Will a night’s stay at your inn cost us anything?” asked Michaelah.

“Oh, you mean, currents. No, we do not charge for rooms at this inn. As long as there are open rooms, guests are free to stay as long as they like. Please come have a seat at the table and a waitress will be around shortly to serve you food.”

Michaelah and Koji sat down next to two ham sandwiches and a bowl of mashed potatoes who were all talking about something called the Goo Zoo. Koji’s plunger, now tucked into the belt from the wizard, smacked the leg of the chair as he sat. The panda wasn’t used to wearing clothes, but he quite liked the helmet and the belt. He took the helmet off at the table after Michaelah told him it was good manners to do so. He was no longer scared of the townsfolk and actually enjoyed looking around at all the zany creatures. Then he glanced at Michaelah and saw she had a worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Koji asked.

“If they're all food people, then what are we about to be served?”

“I don’t understand, Michaelah.”

She tried rephrasing her question, “What does food eat?”

Another bundle of spaghetti came sprawling out of the kitchen. It made its way over to Michaelah and Koji’s table with a tray of what they called food. As soon as the spaghetti spoke they could tell she was a lady.

“I am Mrs. Macaroni, but you can call me Gem,” she said, introducing herself. Gem took bowls off her tray and placed them in front of Koji and Michaelah. Koji was actually very hungry, having not eaten anything from the wizard’s candy bowl, like Michaelah did. Michaelah closed her eyes in frightful anticipation. Koji immediately chowed down. Once Michaelah heard the noises of him eating she opened one eye slightly and then the other. She was swept with relief.

“What did you think it was going to be?” asked Koji with a mouth full of leaves.

“Well, honestly, if people eat food… I thought food would eat people. So, I guess I was expecting a bowl full of fingers or something.”

Koji and Michaelah both looked at her bowl because it was not simply leaves like Koji’s bowl. Inside Michaelah’s bowl of “food” was glowing violet orbs. To Michaelah, they looked like giant grapes, each with their own light inside them. She looked around at what the others were eating at their tables. They all had bowls of these orbs too, but they were all different colors and types. Some even had hard ones, she could tell by the crunch they were making when the patrons bit into them. Michaelah wondered if they could actually be rocks.

“Well,” Koji persisted, “Aren’t you going to try one?”

“Do I have to?” Michaelah asked, reluctantly.

They both looked up and saw that Gem had never left and was still waiting on them.

Michaelah’s eyes widened, feeling the awkwardness, “Guess so.” She spooned one of the orbs out of the bowl and slowly lifted it up to her mouth.

“Bottoms up!” Koji said to her, smiling.

Michaelah felt like everyone in the room was looking at her and she didn’t know why. Was it really so important that she liked their food? What a strange place… She sniffed it and to her utter lack of surprise it smelled like nothing, odorless. There was nothing left to do but take a bite of the giant grape full of light. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. So instead, she held the orb in her mouth and acted like she ate it.

“Mmmm, good.” She said, in hopes that it would call off Gem.

It did not.

Mrs. Macaroni kept staring at her with those unsettling noodley eyes. Michaelah could even see other spaghetti creatures peaking their spindely heads up from back in the kitchen. What was the big deal? She was starting to get stressed out. All she had to do was bite down and this would all be over. So, Michaelah cringed and pulled all her bravery together. With one solid chomp, her teeth broke into the violet orb.

And delicious juice spilled out of it into her mouth. It tasted like fruit snacks or gushers. Sweet and sour all at the same time. Michaelah put the spoon back in the bowl for more. Gem walked away smiling and the rest of the room went back to their own business. Michaelah and Koji devoured the rest of their bowls. They even asked for seconds and washed it all down with glasses of water.

Once their bellies were full, Guini showed them to their room. The beds looked normal. Michaelah was relieved at that. After so many adventures they found themselves quickly falling asleep.

“Hey, Michaelah,” Koji said from his bed.

“Yes?”

“Do you think we could go to the Goo Zoo tomorrow?”

“I don’t see why not. Sounds interesting and funny. But we shouldn’t waste too much time. We need to get home. I need to get home. I just can’t remember why…” she said, mindlessly twirling her locket in her fingers.