"...Hic! And that's, uhh, how I ended up in this shit hole..."
"Haha, hahahaha!!"
"...Whu...What? Why are you laughing?!"
"Hah! Hhahahah!"
"Wait, hic, you—you too?!?"
Glenn and Sahro were laughing their fill out, pointing at Milena's drunken face with tipsy fingers.
"We will would would would never have guessed, haha!"
"Uhh, what?"
"...Alcoholic...Hic..."
"Huh? Who dared to call me an alcoholohololic?"
"Hahahaha, he's inventing words now!"
In a strange turn of events, Glenn, Sahro, and Milena ended up drinking all their stress away. And with how stressed they had been recently, this had required a considerable quantity of alcohol, which was happily provided by the innkeeper. At first, quite a few of the customers joined them in their mad drinking party, but they all soon gave up in front of the incredible alcohol tolerance the three had. Glenn had been quite surprised by how well Sahro was handling it, but he hadn't been as shocked as Milena. It seems like her new job had forced her to become at least as good as him to handle alcohol. And since the innkeeper was someone he kind of knew, there were no worries about being drugged and being dragged somewhere. The nearby Thorn's Church had even been destroyed, making this area probably the safest Glenn could reside in.
'And shit, I want to relax for once!' Glenn had thought with protestation when Diamanes had first tried to dissuade him from drinking, the entity giving up with a '...you'll reap what you sow,' a comment he could only brush off. For once, he didn't need to worry at all, and he had experienced enough stuff in the past few weeks to traumatize anyone who would peek into his mind. Thankfully, only Diamanes could do that, and the entity was kind of the incarnation of psychological damage.
'You're not the nicest of persons when you're drunk, Glenn...'
An annoying voice made him grimace as he drowned it under a full mug of ale, Milena and Sahro cheering drunkenly as he poured the alcohol down his throat. He slammed his mug on the table, grinning victoriously.
"Hahaha, nothing will stop me from forgetting all of that mess!" Glenn yelled in a surprisingly clear and understandable voice, before falling back on his chair, the quick movements easy to destabilize him.
"Phew, you guys don't know how great it feels to be able to take some time for myself like that," Milena smiled as she looked at the alcohol in her mug, before drinking it whole. She wiped her mouth off before passing her arms around Glenn and Sahro's shoulders, completely drunk.
"Rah, I wish I could go back to being a — hic — a Fixer, you know, and do all of those Tests and whatnot, but I caannn't...!" She lamented, her eyes filling up with tears. Glenn patted her on the back while Sahro slipped away in an attempt to grab the bottle of wine sitting at the end of the table, only to be pulled back in the surprisingly strong woman's arms.
"I...I don't get it, why didn't you just, you know, uh, continue being a Mixer?" Glenn confusedly asked as he pulled the wine bottle in his hand with a smart application of Gravity Manipulation, flashing an annoying grin at the Black Heir. Sahro raised an eyebrow before forcing himself out of Milena's pull and jumping on the table, pulling his broken sword out of his sheath, drunkenly threatening Glenn with it.
"You—How dare you steal so brazenly the wine I desired, I, Sahro Sand of the Black Heirs!?!" He waved his broken sword around, succeeding in making Glenn burst into laughter. Milena was so concentrated on her rants that she didn't even notice Sahro was gone, instead hugging an abandoned chair in place of the Black Heir. Thanks to a more than welcomed coincidence, the inn was empty of any customers who weren't too drunk to care about their shenanigans or already had a good night of sleep.
"It's Fixer, dumbaasss!" She corrected, stumbling dangerously, "And I can't go back, be—Because I caaaann'ttt! If I do, I'll just end up like Prince anywayyyy, or be abandoned by my Family...Huhuhuhh" She despaired, before letting go of Glenn and falling back in her chair, completely knocked out. Glenn glanced back at the unconscious woman, stopping for a few seconds, before raising both of his fists in the air in victory, splurging a bit of wine both on himself and Sahro on the same occasion.
"Hahahaha, one less contender for the competition!" The young man suddenly felt his hand become empty, forcing him to look at it in confusion.
'I could swear there was a bottle of wine in there though...' He glanced up at Sahro with a suspicious gaze that soon transformed into an infuriated one. Sahro finished the wine bottle, licking his lips, before bowing slightly down at Glenn.
"...Hic, it was great wine there. I'll...I'll forgive you for now! Be honored!" The Black Heir ceremoniously declared, when Glenn jumped on the table, forcing his friend back as a few empty bottles fell on the ground. Thankfully, it seemed like they had consumed most of the alcohol Milena could comfortably provide, and none of the precious liquid was spilled out.
"You — hic! You traitor!" Glenn pointed at Sahro with an uncertain finger, his vision troubled and the world spinning under his feet. He stumbled back, his brows creased as he struggled to maintain his balance, when Sahro pulled him back on the table, handing him a rough iron fork.
"You refuse my offer of peace! Fine, we'll decide who's the better of us with a duel!" Sahro waved his broken sword before somehow pulling a dueling stance, tipsily leaning from one side to another. Glenn looked back and forth between the fork he was now holding and Sahro, before sighing loudly.
"So...It has come to this, then!" He wielded the fork with exaggerated motions, threatening Sahro with it, "...I'll defeat you, you...traitor, thief, and...and...." Glenn bit down on his lips, struggling to find another adjective he could associate his friend with, before giving up and lunging at him with his mighty weapon.
And there, under the dim light of the inn's magical lights, was fought the most epic of all fights, fork against broken sword, iron against steel, drunkenness against...even more drunkenness.
Thankfully for everyone involved, (but mostly Milena), Glenn and Sahro finally lost consciousness, the winner of their duel unknown to all but themselves.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
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"...Okay, phew, breathe in slowly..." Glenn followed the advice he was telling himself, his hands tightly gripping the ledge of his window as he enjoyed the morning breeze on his face, "...and breathe out — Blurpp!!"
The young man puked out yet another bucket load of unqualified mixture, a result of his guts and stomach being mixed up together in the most unsavory way.
'...What did I tell you?' Diamanes taunted him without any surprise in his voice. Glenn almost shook his head but restrained himself at the last second, the sole thought enough to give him nausea.
"...I don't know, I don't remember," He snorted, before letting go of the window and lying down on his bed, using his hand to hide away the light from his eyes. He felt terrible, his whole body aching, his tongue dry and his stomach in the worst of mess, but somehow, he felt a little less tense now.
"It does feel good to relax from time to time..." Glenn muttered, chuckling gently, before a scowl replaced his laugh, "...My head hurts like hell, though..."
The young man rubbed his forehead before staring at the ceiling with his eyes wide-opened, blinking in a daze.
'Wait, it hurts like hell...Shit, no, that can't be possible is it?' Glenn thought, placing both of his hands on either side of his head. He concentrated, directing a specific spell to go through from his left hand toward his right hand, the pain in his head intensifying painfully, but not enough to make him want to give up his little experience. He finally managed to get the whole spell through, when his thoughts cleared out and left him free of the deadly hangover.
Diamanes sneered in disbelief.
'I can't believe you've just used Javier's healing magic to cure your hangover. Shit, had I known this was possible I would have called it Ibuprofen instead of C.P.R.!!' The entity jeered in his mind, drawing another chuckle out of his host. Glenn sat up, scowling with a hand on his stomach as he applied the same treatment to the rest of his body. Since the only 'illness' was the side effects of getting drunk, it didn't use much Mana to take care of it, even though it was quite more painful than it should be, in Glenn's opinion.
The young man finished healing himself, before stretching his body with a satisfied grin.
"Ahh, feels great! Ready to go up a few more eldritch nightmares again!" He joked, Diamanes sighing dismissively. The young man quickly cast a Mundare over himself to be entirely clean, powering it with enough Mana to get rid of any dirt thoroughly. Finally, he took the time to look at himself in the body-sized mirror at disposition in his room.
He was a sorry sight, for a lack of better word. His hair had grown considerably, reaching the nape of his neck, and now of a raven-black color, as dark as Milena's. The white strand lost in the middle of the black had grown alongside the rest of the hair, but he didn't dislike that much the look. It wasn't the white color of oldness and dying hair, no, it was more of the pristine white of albinos.
'Well, it's original for sure...Heh,' Diamanes mocked, Glenn all but listening to him. The young man scratched his chin, smacking his lips at the beard's existence he couldn't deny.
"Yeah, I'm not a fan of the beard..." He muttered, before summoning his extremely expensive and precious Black Gold Fixer's knife, using it in its intended way.
After shaving himself and making sure he hadn't missed any spots, Glenn dismissed the knife, when he remarked something peculiar.
"Huh, both of my eyes are entirely purple now. Well, I guess the green corruption from the Seed of Darkness is completely gone now. All for the best then..."
The last thing the young man had to consider but couldn't do much about sadly was his precious suit of clothes. The black, sleeveless vest was now permanently tainted with a reddish hue, and a few spots struggled to mend themselves despite the Repair enchantment on the clothes. The white shirt under the vest was similarly not-so-white anymore, and his pants were in an even worse state. All in all, it was probably worth it to pay a visit to Rusty. Maybe the friendly dwarf would have some cleaning advice or something...
"...That makes me think, I could use a new weapon. Not having a nice sword or magical axe to swing around feels weird...I'll see with the Smith if he can make me something cool," Glenn muttered to himself as he checked himself out last time, flexing his muscles with a satisfied look. Finally, he left his room and headed down to the inn's main hall, heading straight for the counter to ask if he could get himself some food. Milena wasn't around, replaced by a fat man with a badly shaved beard and a broken nose, his hair hidden under a tightly knotted black bandana.
'...I don't think he has any hair to hide, though?' Diamanes suspected, Glenn, nodding in understanding.
'Even more, the reason to hide it if he doesn't assume his baldness... Hey, do you think I should try and go bald?' The young man asked the entity in his mind, the latter not even bothering to answer.
"Hey, could I get the chief's specialty, if you please?"
Someone asked the waiter, who grumbled as he headed for the kitchen.
"Oh, yeah, me too, please!" Glenn raised his hand with a hungry look, his stomach protesting against the sudden emptiness following the liters and liters of...whatever that was he puked out. The young man suddenly frowned, feeling as if he could recognize the voice of the previous customer, and turned his head to the side to find the mysterious bard that had sung the ballad of the "Devil's Grin".
"...Hey, you're the bard from last night, right?" Glenn asked, changing seats to get closer to the bard. The latter glanced at him with an awkward look, his eyes strangely glued to the young man's purple left arm.
"...Indeed, I am..." The bard pushed against his hat to try and hide his eyes, the awkward look disappearing to be replaced by a charming smile, "...Are you one of my fans? I can sign you an autograph if you wish. I don't have a pen, though—"
He stopped talking when he saw Glenn take out a pen and paper from his dimensional pouch, holding them out with an innocent smile.
"Absolutely! I love your work, but the autograph isn't for me, it's for my..." Glenn moistened his lips, trying to figure out how he should call Milena, "...friend, the pretty waitress that was at the counter yesterday."
The bard's face illuminated and he swiftly grabbed the paper and pen, signing it with expert penmanship, his name written in a flowery style with perfect calligraphy.
"Of course, she's the owner after all, and the one who allows me to perform on scene. Could you thank her for me? I couldn't find her no matter how much I searched for her this morning..." He muttered as he handed out the paper to Glenn, who quickly glanced at it, the corner of his lips curving up slightly. He pushed the paper in his dimensional pouch, before leaning on the counter comfortably.
"I'm honored, Sir Montana..." He bowed his head politely, a strange glint shining in his eyes, "...But by the way, while still on the topic, I was really curious about that ballad you sang to us last night, the new one, uhh, what was it called already? The Devil's...something, I think?" Glenn grinned inquisitively as he rubbed the back of his head without even trying to pretend searching for the answer. The bard's eyes flinched, his fingers crisping slightly on the edge of the counter, but he still smiled kindly, a bead of sweat pearling down his cheek.
"Oh, yes, the Demon's Grin is one of the ballads I had the most enjoyment writing," Montana replied as he turned his head away, doing his best not to meet Glenn's gaze.
"So, did you make it all up, or..." Glenn's face darkened, the temperature around him and the bard dropping a few degrees, thanks to a discreet use of his Nitrogen, "...or were you inspired by reality, perhaps someone's life?"
The bard coughed in his fist as he stood up, turning away entirely from Glenn.
"I—I apologize, but an unforeseen event requires my attention. It was nice meeting you, Sir—" The bard was frozen through his words as he was forcefully sat back down on his chair, the pressure of Glenn's Gravity Manipulation not letting him have a choice. Glenn grinned devilishly, making his fingers crack.
"Soo, maybe we should discuss royalties then, hmm, Sir Montana?"
"R—Royalties?"
Glenn nodded slowly, slowly passing his tongue over his teeth.
"Well, it's my story you're selling after all."
The Mana grew denser around the two of them as Glenn's eyes shone with a dangerous light, the weight over Montana's head growing heavily as he increased his Mana output.
"I'm~ sure we'll be able to work something out, Sir Montana."
The bard gulped, his hat pushed up slightly to reveal a panicked look on his face.
'Oh but you're all too right to be distressed, my friend.'