Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Everybody! How are you all?

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Lucius' House - A few seconds later...

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"Might as well turn on the TV while I eat, I guess." Throwing an empty plate and a bottle of trax-cola onto my table, I placed the fast food into it before throwing the plastic box which contained it beforehand into the trash, hearing a satisfying thumping noise as the plastic was crushed and consumed by the endless machinery below.

The Singularity of Man takes recycling very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they've connected an intricate and incredibly expensive network of cabling and machinery to every single household on the planet. This is definitely only used for recycling purposes and definitely not to spy on their beloved people.

Well, I mean... its not like anyone can deny the benefits of the system. It is free of charge to have these installed. The owners only responsibility is to pay for their maintenance should something go wrong. Aka, please do not throw anything too large into the trash pipes without compressing it first unless you are prepared to take responsibility.

It also helps that the machinery in question is shared between neighborhoods, so if you fuck up in this particular way, chances are that you're going to be the public enemy number one in your own home. For a while, anyways.

This thankfully, can't happen to me as I live in a newly established expansion outpost on the outskirts of the city, Authoria. Authoria is one of the three founding cities on the planet, having been settled by the colonists from the ship General Authority some thirty years earlier. Hah.. to think that thirty years ago this was all unexplored, untouched land.

Now it is a jungle of concrete, spanning thousands of kilometers with many, numberless villages all around it. These villages are bad news, though. Populated by savages, criminals, drug dealers and all other kinds of psychopaths possible. Or well, those are the names our glorious government uses to refer to them, anyways.

Most sane individuals tend to call these villagers *freedom fighters*.

Me?

I'd like to know what the hell this *freedom* of theirs even means, exactly. I can give my opinion after I learn this. However, there has yet to come a person capable of properly explaining the matter without contradicting something I've heard before.

In the end, its just another way to rule.

And it really does not matter to me."-eep sea miners have stumbled upon what looks to be an ancient alien structure of some kind. The strange, almost runic markings on the giant stone doors are, as of yet, of indecipherable meaning even to our highest ranking linguistic personnel. This is what Matthew Jorissten, linguistics professor working for the Nova Aeterna University of Authoria had to say on the matter." The TV seems to have turned on by itself.

I see.

This must be my new friend's doing."I wish I could say that the runes resemble ancient Nordic or even the hieroglyphs back on Earth. However, this is simply not the cas-" My attention was taken away from the TV as the wall above it began to crack, the limestone seemingly twisting in on itself.

WHAT IS A FRIEND? "... FRIEND?"

"Huh?.. the fuck?" As I read the words on the wall in my head, the last word seemingly echoed in my own voice, even though I said nothing at all.

The voice wasn't loud.

Or nigh silent.

But to answer your question, oh unknown being of possibly eldritch origin."A friend is... well, I can't really say. I don't have any friends myself, you see."

BUT YOU JUST "... called me your friend?"

Ah.

The voice was nigh silent now, almost as if trying to learn what that meant.

I guess you're right."If I have to put it through my own psychopathic reasoning, a friend is someone who has the ability to take advantage of you but will not do so, thus allowing a bond of trust to be formed between the friend and those who refer to them as such."

SO YOU BELIeve that I can "... cause you great harm, yet since I do not do this-" I am worthy of your trust?

Looks like someone's getting better at communication. I hope you're also planning to fix my wall.

Just as I thought that, the imagery in front of me seemed to shatter."-ats all for now, folks. Stay tuned for more information, delivered still-steaming to you from our channel, Eredea Now!"

Looking down, I found out how my venison was also completely gone.

My phone rang again. It was 8:00 now.

The caller was unknown. Shrugging, I answered and stayed silent."... Hello? Is this [Insert-Eldritch-God-Here] Industries?" The same submerged, gender-less voice from before echoed from the other side of the phone."Sorry, no. They are closed for the day, how can I help you?"

Then my wall twisted into itself again.

IS THIS METHOD "... really any better for communication?"

"It causes a lot less SAN damage to me when you use the phone." I laughed at the thing. It seems that even eldritch gods can get annoyed.

"... what is SAN damage?" Hoo-boy!

I shook my head out of my stupor."Anyways, while continuing this conversation as it is right now would be immensely amusing to our gracious audience, I think we should start from the beginning and introduce ourselves."

"Our audience?... are you perhaps capable of detecting extra-dimensional entiti-"

"Yes and no, my friend. I was talking about the readers."

"... what?"

I chuckled again."Anyways, my name is Lucius Prodigium. I belong to a species known as Humanity, which is currently governed solely by the Singularity Of Man. My current occupation is that of a freelance hunter."

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

As I finished my introduction, a black tendril tore through my phone and impaled itself into my head. I felt like the worlds worst migraine tore through my skull for a few eternal seconds and then the tendril removed itself from my head. Immediately, I touched my forehead. No wounds... not even any remainder of a feeling that proved the thing was ever inside of my head.

But a few things, or better to say concepts, seemed to be at the forefront of my thoughts. Names, species, government, occupation.. the things I mentioned just now."You.. did you just dig through my brain for word definitions?"

"I felt that if I didn't, this conversation would have ended up causing us both severe headaches." The thing seemed to take a deep breath as I wholeheartedly agreed with its statement."My name is far too incomprehensible for you to understand, but I suppose that the word *monster*, is fitting enough for now. I am a member of the species often referred to as the Dormient. We have no clear government and are left each to our own devices. My occupation, destroyer of worlds."

Finishing the remainder of my coke, I stood up to get myself some coffee."So then, oh great Mr Monster, why exactly are you giving this conversation so much effort instead of just killing me?"

"Boredom." Ah.

What an incredibly simple answer.

And how easily relatable.

Wait.."Didn't you just wake up from an eon of being asleep or something? How are you already bored." That last bit ended up being more of a statement than a question."... friend. I sleep, wake up and feed, then sleep again, then eat, then sleep, then eat, then sleep. It is literally all I do."

Oh.

Okay yes, that sounds boring as hell."I assume that every time you wake up to feed, you actually mean that you destroy whatever civilization has happened to grow on this planet of yours?"

"Not always. Sometimes, like with your race, I wait for the number of prey to increase before I fully awaken to feast upon the world. Usually, I also use this time to build cults dedicated to yours truly or learn of potential weaknesses should the race trapped here prove to be a potential threat." I see.

"So what's stopping you from doing the same this time? I mean, aside from boredom?" Mr Monster seemed to contemplate for a moment."To put it in very simple words... I'm full."

I shrugged once again and opened a locked metal chest in the corner of my living room as I continued to drink my instant coffee."Ah, so not enough time has passed for you to become hungry, gotcha."

"... wait, so you aren't interested in-"

"The race that came before us? Not in the slightest. They were probably crustaceans anyways." Limestone is everywhere on this planet. It makes perfect sense.

"-but what about their rui-"

"If there are traces of their technology or actual ruins left on this planet, its probably why the government is investing so much credit into deep sea mining operations. They've got it handled, I'm sure."

"... I see. How heartless. The Luncenti would howl at your emotionless presence." Yet you appear to be insanely amused by it. Oh, I just got an idea."I think your name is going to be Luncent! Or maybe.. Lucent? Hmm, how about Lunt? Or Lent? No, no, no, that reminds me too much of rent."

"Are you trying to name me in the honor of a species I exterminated?" Chances are you didn't exterminate them."... what do you mean?"

I blinked.

Oh, so you CAN hear my thoughts."Indeed mortal, now answer me!"

Well, if they are anything like Humanity, they weren't actually born on this world but originated from outer space. Aka, even if you killed everyone on this planet, they wouldn't be done for as a species."Humanity has spread itself to multiple worlds? What a dangerous cancer..."

... cancer?

Come to think of it, you weren't surprised when I said I was human. Interesting.

Another tendril of darkness erupted from the phone and impaled itself into me, this time into my chest, but there was no pain. Yet another, separate tendril formed and seemed to cut the first one off, then disperse.

The first tendril entered me entirely and I could feel a new source of heat surrounding my heart."What did you just do?"

The sound of something metallic slamming against a wall of some sort could be heard from the other side of the phone and then the call died.

"I hate phones." A voice echoed through my head, once again neither silent nor loud. There was a problem however...

While the voice was tolerable, it was my own."Could ya use someone else's voice while talking to me please?"

"No. Get used to it." Ah. That's rude.

But I guess I can't exactly do anything about it. Anyways, I guess you just formed some kind of direct psionic link with me or something?

"No. I cut out a piece of myself and put it inside of you. The presence of the piece of my power has made you moderately psychic, thus allowing me to speak to you like this." Wait so, you're telling me that you just gave me super powers?

Mr Monster, who will from now on be referred to as Lu, seemed to laugh at this. Never have I thought that hearing my own laughter would be quite so annoying."Powers? No. The shard I gave you is basically worthless. It amounts to me ripping out a hair and forcing you to eat it... that said, my power grows by eating. So maybe if you were to eat as the Dormient do, you would be able to attain some measure of power."

... somehow, I get the feeling that the definition of *eating* is something entirely different to you."Correct. However, I will not explain anything to you. The intricacies of the feast are left to the young to discover for themselves, such is tradition to the Dormient. What I can tell you however, is that the feast begins through the act of murder."

So its the classic kill people, get stronger, eh? I can work with that."Not exactly, but you'll see what I mean, provided that you ever kill anything."

... you haven't read by memories, have you?

Lu replied in a tone which seemed to be almost insulted."What? Of course, not! Such a thing is a sign of weakness to my people... to probe the mind of a lesser creature is the same as devolving oneself to its level and admitting that you could not have defeated it otherwise."

Hooh. So the elder gods have a sense of honor, who would have guessed.

Anyways, having finally finished the remainder of my coffee and placed the mug onto a nearby table, I turned my attention towards the contents of the metal chest. A single-shot plasma hunting rifle made by some weapons manufacturer back on Earth. The weapon itself was illegally bought, which is why there isn't any markings or logo's etched into the metal.

An unregistered weapon. The perfect tool for hunting the wildlife of this world, for most life on this planet is covered in reptilian scales, which have no real resistance against heat. There are creatures with armor so thick that even modern material projectiles cannot pierce it, yet are easily broken via a singular, well-placed shot of plasma.

Oh well.

I mean, its not like animals can just evolve energy shielding to protect themselves from plasma, right?

Aside from that rifle, I also had a large, fang-shaped combat knife. It wasn't much use for skinning or butchering, but came in handy for finishing off wounded animals. And for killing charging Rakers.

What is a Raker, you might be asking? Imagine a small wolf the size of the common dog, with green scales instead of fur and four rows of venomous teeth and a bladed tail which can sever an iron pole in two or three strikes.

They tend to use those tails to literally rake the flesh of their prey.

Did I mention that they love to hunt in packs?

There was a TV show sometime back which pitted this worlds animals versus what was considered their Earth-borne equivalent. Much to the surprise of everyone, the black wolf from Earth actually won the fight with ease but died soon after from the Raker's poison.

How did the wolf win against something like that, you might be asking?

Simple.

This worlds gravity is slightly lower than that of the Earth. While this means that us homeworlders find the place generally unpleasant to live on and are forced to be inoculated before we can even land on the planet, we also enjoy what amounts to superhuman strength and speed when compared to the locals.

Which is also a part of the reason why most people here see me and those like me as monsters.

I felt myself grin."Well, its not like they're wrong in my case."

Beneath all the weapons was a pale blue suit. A gift from my family off-world. An article of clothing made of omnithread and all the nano-tech made available to the general public. Like an exo-suit, of sorts.

Dressing myself up, I beamed a gigantic smile in the direction of my door."Time to hunt~."

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That's it for this chapter! Here's to hope you've enjoyed it!

A warning to my older fans: this story WILL be much faster in the development of its plot and it WILL have an ending.

I'm not going to throw another world into the bin.

I'm also going to be posting several one-shot chapters onto the site just to dump some ideas/see what people might be interested in.

Anyways, the story is going to be put as T for teen for now in order to help it gather some more followers, but don't let that discourage you... This is one of my stories, after all.

Oh and the reviews here are more like comments than anything else.

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HAPPY NEW YEARS!