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LONG WAY TO LIVE
who am I ? part 3

who am I ? part 3

Dark eyes and even darker hair, tall and broad-shouldered, his appearance was disheveled, his clothes messy. He had a slender, athletic build, yet he seemed indifferent to how he looked. Even with anger and annoyance etched on his face, a certain charm remained. It was truly strange. A boy like him studied at my high school, yet I had never noticed him before. Where had he been hiding all this time? Or had he just transferred recently? One of the perks of being Marian now was her popularity among boys, especially the handsome ones.

He stood staring at me for a while, locking eyes with mine without uttering a word. I felt uncomfortable, as if I was in a staring contest. Finally, I spoke, feeling that the silence would stretch on forever if neither of us said anything: "Excuse me, do you need something?"

His gaze softened slightly when I spoke, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he turned his face toward the door, as if waiting for someone to enter. I stood up and approached him, asking, "Did you come to check on me too? I’m fine, as you can see. Thank you for your concern."

As soon as I reached him, he turned back to me, his face filled with anger, and said: "Check on you? You must be joking. I came here just to ask you one thing, and I want you to be honest with me."

When he said that, I felt embarrassed for my previous thoughts. Why do I assume things? I was genuinely curious about what he was going to say, so I replied, “Okay, go ahead, I’m listening.”

“Be honest with me. Do you regret what you’ve done?”

“What do you mean? I don’t get it.”

“I’m asking if you regret what you did to Nermin.”

"I still don’t get it. Can you tell me what I did to Nermin so I can know if I regret it or not?”

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"How could you try to kill Nermin by drowning her?"

"What?"

I was shocked. Is he telling the truth? Wasn’t it an accident? Did she try to kill me for real? Why can’t I remember anything that happened? Why should I believe him anyway?

I asked, "Why are you so sure of that? Are you the one who saved both of us? The one who called the ambulance?"

“Yes, it was me.”

“Then why didn’t you say that to the police?”

"I didn’t report it because I pitied you. I thought that Nermin would wake up as you did, that you would regret what you’d done and apologize to her. But no. After you spent a week resting at home, you came back to school like nothing happened, and where is Nermin? She’s in a coma because of you.”

I was truly shocked. His words didn’t match my memories at all. Every time I tried to remember what happened, I could only recall events before diving into the water. It was as if part of my memory had been erased. Did she try to drown me? Did he save me? Or was I searching for her when I suddenly drowned? I didn’t know anymore. Every possibility felt real, and I couldn’t tell which was the truth.

Noticing my confusion, he grabbed me by my shoulders and spoke calmly, “Marian, don’t you remember what you did? Was it a moment of anger? You didn’t really intend to drown her, did you? Answer me.”

"I don’t remember anything you’re saying. All I remember is that I jumped into the pool, then Nermin followed, and after that… nothing. If I tried to drown her as you claim, how did I almost die too?”

"I waited for both of you to come up to the surface, but minutes passed, and neither of you did. So I dove in to see what was happening and found you holding Nermin by her leg, keeping her from resurfacing until she lost consciousness. When I rushed to you, you resisted with all your strength until you also passed out.”

Was I really the cause? If it wasn’t an accident, then why did everything change? What really happened?

When I didn’t respond, he continued, "Nermin should have woken up. I don’t understand how you woke up and she didn’t."

It’s the cruel irony of fate. She tried to kill me, but now she’s the one lying in a hospital bed, not me. And now I’m her. If I can’t convince him to stay silent, I’ll go to prison in her place. Then I’ll never find a way to return to my body and will remain trapped in hers forever.