Jasper, possessing the acrobatic prowess of a toddler, awkwardly descended the ladder and stumbled onto the ground where Murphy and Rosalind were waiting. Once he landed, he brushed himself off and surveyed his surroundings: a tall and expansive medieval tunnel with thick, dark bricks, arching upward to form a half-circular ceiling. High above, torches lined the walls, each one a burning evergreen spaced a meter apart both in front of and behind the group. All things considered, the interior was sleeker than he had expected. A new background score began playing - an enigmatic dungeon-crawling theme, rich with deep strings and harpsichords, creating an odd blend of tension and calm in its soundscape.
“Sorry, I’m aware it took me a while to get down here,” he said, eyeing the tunnel ahead, which seemed to twist and turn with corners and new paths emerging, hinting at a maze-like, labyrinthine layout.
Murphy smiled. The team was assembled. “No worries, fellow Alexandrian. Now, on we go, into the heart of the truth.” Murphy rekindled his lantern, which now glowed a different color than before - a brilliant blue.
–
Jasper couldn’t help but notice, half an hour into the trek, that Murphy’s already brisk pace was quickening. He was a good distance ahead of them, with both Jasper and Rosalind now starting to feel the burn.
“That’s, uh, quite a bit of walking today,” Jasper said, watching Murphy, shimmering blue, round yet another corner.
“That’s right,” replied Rosalind, sing-song. “Welcome to the world of role-playing-games, professor.”
They strolled the pathway ahead of them, took a left turn through a winding portion of the tunnel, and arrived at a long stretch of chamber, which Murphy incidentally was already at the far end of. His being was all-but invisible now, just a faded, blue ghost.
“I mean, he’s really going quite fast, isn’t he? Is he aware that he’s supposed to be escorting us, not racing us?” asked Jasper. He noticed Rosalind breaking into a light jog and decided to follow suit.
“Yeah, so,” Rosalind responded, “This whole section is actually inspired by the Dampe race in Ocarina of Time. Y’know, the one you do in the graveyard after you come back as Adult Link?”
“This is going to shock you, but I’m afraid this reference is lost on me.”
“Really? You haven’t even played Ocarina of Time? Man, when this whole thing is over, I am gonna send you a comprehensive list of all the games you need to play before you die. I mean really, you haven’t lived life if you haven’t stabbed Ganandorf in the forehead at least once.”
Jasper was distracted. The flickering lantern light that denoted Murphy was getting further and fainter.
“That is concerningly far,” he said.
“We’ll be fine,” she replied.
–
“We lost him?!”
Jasper’s voice reverberated through the chamber’s tunnel. Both were at a stand-still at a stretch of dungeon that looked near-identical to everything they’d walked past thus far.
Ignoring, Rosalind eyed the walls of the tunnel, searching for landmarks or inscriptions to help her make sense of where they were. “It felt like he was doing progression twelve… straight ahead for twenty minutes, first ten turns all left, hit the loop, then it was supposed to be alternating left and right turns…” she pondered, more for her benefit than Jasper’s.
“We lost him! You programmed this damned abomination you call an adventure, but here we are, guideless, no idea where we are, hairlines receding -”
“My… my hairline’s not receding. If you meant yours, then -”
“Oh great, so now we’re both individuals! We’re supposed to be a team!”
“I think the, uh, confined spaces are starting to get to you, Jasper.”
“All I’m saying is, you’re apparently this brilliant genius who knows this game inside and out, but now we’re stuck, facing extinction at the bottom of a dungeon! And not even a real dungeon! A fictional one! Do you understand how disappointing that is?!”
“You know, I’m sure I could stay on top of things better if I didn’t have to babysit a crabby, wambulance-pants, mouse-fearing know-it-all.”
“I am not afraid of -” Jasper shrieked as a gang of mice scuttered past his feet. “Just because I’m afraid of mice, doesn’t mean that I don’t have value as a human being!”
“I never said that you have no value.”
Jasper sighed, watching the mice disappear off into the distance. “They like cheese as much as we do. They’re like… tiny humans,” he said, turning back to face her. “It’s unsettling.”
Rosalind took a deep breath and settled herself. The tension seemed to dissipate. “Maybe, as a change of strategy, we focus less on bickering and more on taking notes on anything interesting we come across? If we find even one landmark that I remember, then that should be enough for me to reverse-engineer where we are.”
Jasper nodded. “Okay fine. Truce.”
“Truce,” said Rosalind, holding out her hand.
As Jasper stepped forward to shake it, he accidentally triggered a small switch on the ground. The switch clicked, and immediately, a section of wall rumbled as it unfolded outward like a door, revealing a hidden staircase descending into the depths. Both took a moment to register the new opening.
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“Was that it? Did I just beat the game?” asked Jasper.
“Nope,” replied Rosalind, stepping toward the new opening. “But, you did find one of the secret passageways in this area. Let’s see what this one’s all about.”
Rosalind leaned into the entranceway and shouted down. “Hello! Anyone down there? Someone who can tell us where this staircase leads?”
Silence, as her voice reverberated down the staircase. Finally:
“Hi!” a voice responded from the depths, coming through in staggered echoes. “And yes! This is the hidden pathway to the Sanctuary of Inner Discovery. For only 220 Silver, we’ll take you through a tour of your most traumatic memories and experiences, replaying them as if you were really there. This luxurious, therapeutic experience is designed to help you find out where all of your current-day neuroses and idiosyncrasies come from.”
Rosalind turned to Jasper. “What’dya think?” But Jasper was already walking off.
“Could be good for you!” she called out as he turned a corner.
Rosalind returned to addressing the staircase void. “I think we’re good for now.”
After a brief delay, a response echoed up from the gentleman at the bottom of the stairs. "No worries! Have a great day!"
The passageway rumbled again and the wall section folded inward, sealing off the secret path.
Picking up her pace to a jog, Rosalind called out, "Yep, left turn after the secret path is correct! You're going the right way, Jasper!"
–
The duo made their way down a chamber walkway. On their right, Jasper noticed a thin passage with treasure chests at the end of it. “Ooh, do you think we should grab some of those? They might help us -”
“Those are traps. Each of those chests contains a monster who steals your items, takes your gear, and then taunts you about the things you’re most insecure about.”
“Ah,” said Jasper, backing away from the path.
–
Jasper’s face was reflected in a small, shimmering pond, brightly striped fish swimming underneath creating ripples in the aquatic mirror. As Rosalind surveyed the landmark they’d stopped at, Jasper took a second to appreciate the craftsmanship that came in assembling this cozy resting area. Beside the pond there was a large, rustic bench, and above them was a small opening in the ceiling with a ladder leading up to it. Jasper wondered where that path might lead.
A tiny, adorable creature waddled up to him, interrupting his thoughts. “Well, hello traveler!” it said.
Jasper turned to address the character, surveying its face - something familiar about it. Part bunny rabbit, part Maine Coon.
“Well hello there little critter! Might you have some advice on where we are and where we should head next?”
The critter grinned at Jasper, pairing it with an adorable head-tilt. “Would you like to save your progress?”
“My progress? Well, I suppose it wouldn’t…”
He stopped, his eyes widening.
“Wait… I saw you on the news!” said Jasper, backing away slowly. “There’s some sort of Lovecraftian threat lurking around here, isn’t there?”
“He’s just up the ladder!” said the critter with smiling eyes, licking its paw.
Jasper continued his retreat, now with haste. “Rosalind! Ros! We need to go! We need to go now!”
–
Walking side by side, Rosalind and Jasper maneuvered down a lengthy stretch of tunnel. Rosalind examined a make-shift map she’d made in her notepad, while Jasper, exhausted, hung his head like a zombie.
“This game is a minefield of strange,” he said.
“Eh. Every other Final Fantasy ends with you killing God. This is pretty tame by comparison.”
“Hm. Killing God? I wouldn’t mind that actually.”
“Yeah, no, it’d be pretty tight.” Rosalind’s eyes returned to gazing upon her improvised map. “So, you gonna go back to professoring once all of this is done?”
“Yeah, I suppose so…” he said, thinking. “I mean, I hate it, with every single fiber of my being… but besides that it’s quite alright. What about you? Gonna go back to your game studio once all of this blows over and the lawsuits have wrapped up?”
Rosalind stopped herself from instinctively blurting out a response. Gathering herself and using the Edit tool lodged in her cerebellum, she answered. “Oh, no, I uh, think I’m done with them. As soon as this whole mess is over, I’ll probably be giving them my notice. Time for me to, y’know, move on to bigger and better things hopefully! Hah.”
She didn’t nail the follow-through as she had hoped, as Jasper noticed the strange intonation in her response. As they came across a twisting pathway, they followed a turn, navigating the bend.
“Greetings!”
Both recoiled at the raspy, quavering voice that met them as they entered the new area.
A short, elderly woman leaned against the wall, wrapped in thick purple garb from head to toe, adorned with scarves and charms. Her hands were raised in front of her, fingers splayed.
“Is she gonna kill us?” Jasper asked.
Rosalind, finger to chin, sized up the new stranger. Then, realizing - “Ah! Lady Rowena! They must’ve updated your 3D model.” She turned to Jasper. “She used to be taller, clad in turquoise, thicker eyebrows… been a little while since I saw what the art team was doing with her design.”
“I see,” said Jasper, disturbed by the aggressive stare that Lady Rowena had directed at him.
“Dearest visitors,” said the lady, “For a meager 10 Silver, I can tell you what your future has in store.”
A dialogue option appeared in front of Rosalind and Jasper, with the choices ‘Yes’ and ‘No’.
“How much is ten silver, is that expensive?” Jasper asked.
“Ten silver? No, that’s like nothing.”
“And would you say she’s pretty accurate?” he followed,
“Eh, she’s kind of hit or miss. She mostly focuses on rare items or the next narrative checkpoint. Stuff we could figure out on our own pretty easily.”
Jasper thought about it, tapping his foot, averting eye contact from Lady Rowena’s intense stare. Then, finally, he selected ‘Yes’.
Rosalind sighed and leaned against the wall. “Suit yourself. The fortune is personalized to you so I won’t be able to hear it. Just… fill me in when you two are done in case she tells you anything useful.”
Jasper nodded, meeting Lady Rowena’s eyes. She was looking right at him. Through him, almost. It felt invasive.
Suddenly, their surroundings melted away into a dark abyss. Rosalind and the chamber walls vanished, leaving Jasper and Lady Rowena on a stained-glass platform, surrounded by flickering purple flames.
“Alright,” began Jasper, trying not to be unnerved by the drastic change in scenery. “So about my future, I want to know if I’ll ever find out why she gave me a suit of arm-”
“You will face a most powerful foe.”
“That’s - that’s great, not the question that I asked but I appreciate the heads up. Anyways, my friend, before she passed away, she gave me a -”
“I’m afraid you don’t get to ask the question, child. Your job is to hear the answer.”
“Oh, well then, I suppose we can just end this now, seeing as I’m not interested in -”
The platform spun faster, forcing Jasper to plant his feet.
“A powerful enemy. On a bridge. Your attacks won’t be able to hurt him.”
“Well, I uh, I’m sure Ros would be able to figure something out -”
“You won’t defeat him.”
The platform’s movement sped up, the flames intensifying.
Jasper was confused.
“Okay, so… what does that mean?” Jasper asked.
The platform’s movement crescendoed.
“You will die.”
And suddenly, something had caught Jasper’s tongue.
“All of you will die.”
And then it stopped.
Lady Rowena’s stare - the same one that had crawled up under Jasper’s skin in the first place, lingered. But the flames died down.
Jasper let out a weak chuckle.
“You’re - you’re joking, obviously.”
No words from Lady Rowena. The scene started fading.
“This is just a joke,” he repeated.
She vanished from his view.
“Right?”
The chamber reappeared as quickly as it had left. The platform, the flames, the sea of black, Lady Rowena - all gone. Rosalind stood beside Jasper once more, in the middle of stretching.
“Hear anything good?” she asked him.