LMF
The Legendary Midnight Farmer
(By: PhantomKaizer)
Chapter 0: MY JOURNEYS END IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ADVENTURE
~A PLACE WHERE TIME AND SPACE IS DISTORTED FOR AS LONG AS “IT” EXISTED~
Darkness, sweet and silent darkness currently surrounds me; it’s the type that gently lulls you to sleep and makes you want to forget all the worries and mistakes that you made.
“Ah, if only this could last forever”
I know it’s selfish but I really wish this could continue on, sadly this wish of mine won’t come true like so many of my other wishes. The proof of this is the voice I’m suddenly hearing little by little disturbing the tranquil silence.
“hey……..up……..Heeyyy…….ke…..upp……heeeyyyy…..waake….uppp”
“Heeeeeeeyyyy Waaaake Uppppppp!”
(This annoyingly muscular voice that’s invading my consciousness trying to break me free from my sweet haven is seriously a pain and really should just get lost!…Hmmm maybe if I ignore it it’ll go away?, it will probably disappear soon anyway...why I know that, I have no idea…but as of now my awareness is already returning and it’ll be hard to continue trying to sleep with people around me)
“U~h, No good, he isn’t waking up. What should we do? Any ideas? Eli? Rhia?”Asked by the guy with the muscular voice.
“Yeah, leave him, we already have a huge problem and I mean HUGE! That thing is probably at least 300 meters from head to tail! The less baggage we have the better” responded by a girl with blond curly hair and golden eyes.
(Grrrr…. this ungrateful little...Who does she thinks is feeding her here, her and her overgrown lizard.)
“We can’t, that idiot is the key to somehow surviving this, without him we’re as good as dead, and you lot remember what happens if we get killed here don’t you?” answers another girl with jet black hair and ruby colour eyes.
(This one as well! she’s just another freeloader with another overgrown lizard yet she dares call the one who feeds them an IDIOT!)
“U~h, I remember and that’s why I want to know what we should do about him Rhia and Eli please be a little helpful” says the guy with the muscular voice
“Don’t ask me”
“I’m still trying to figure it out Ben, so just wait a bit more”
Hearing the unreliable reply of both girls who’s supposedly the main strike force of the group, the guy named Ben can only shake his head as if giving up on any possibility that both of them are going to be of any help…
(Hmmmm…..good good the way their talk is going means that I’ll probably have peace and quiet for a while, hopefully they won’t know what to do to me until the “END” comes…)
“We can try frying him” says someone in a somewhat bored and uncaring voice
(Wuuuu….suddenly I hear a something really scary…)
“U~h, what do you mean by that Anna?”
“Simple, we use fire to fry him up, the pain he’ll experience should be enough to wake him up” says the short girl named Anna
(Wha! This loli girl can sure say some really scary things with no hesitation at all! She has no care for other people whatsoever. I really want to tell her that because she’s always like this that her chest is as flat as a board!!)
*GLARE*
(Ugh?! Whoa! What the? I just felt an intense chill...is the “END” coming already?)
(Weird did that idiot just badmouthed me? I’m guessing he already regained consciousness and is just running away from reality, if that’s the case I’ll definitely feed him a “Meteor” for sure)
“U~h, why does it have to be fire exactly?” asks Ben with a somewhat confused expression
Looking away from the “seemingly unconscious” boy, the girl “Anna” returns her gaze to the guy with the unnaturally muscular voice named “Ben”
“That’s because we have two dumb broads along with two fire generators which so far has been only good for generating fire…sadly only the lizards have been useful their human partners not so much”
“What did you say?!”
“……..”
“I dare you to repeat that again!” roared the blond haired, golden eyed girl who judging from the names spoken earlier by “Ben” should be called “Eli”.
“…..Eli be quiet, what shorty says is true though so deal with it and I’m still thinking here so shut up for a bit” says the black haired, ruby eyed girl called Rhia.
“YOU!! Even if it’s true you should not admit it so easily! And also even if you spend eternity thinking you still won’t find a solution because there’s nooothiing in that head of yours!”
“Wha!”
“Humph…anyway like miss no tits say I guess we might as well try frying the useless bastard”
(waaahhhh what the heck why are they so intent on frying me?!)
“Oh~ heh heh heh heh, calling someone miss no tits when the one saying it has no tits as well is really funny, in fact it’s so funny I feel like encasing you on ice to preserve your funny bone for future generations to see heh heh heh heh” says the short girl Anna along with a creepy and really scary laugh
*POP* *Vein Popping sound*
“Ahahahahahahahhaha YOU SHRIMP!! My bust maybe modest in size but I still have height!!! While you on the other hand not only do you have no breast you’re also a SHRIMP!!”
“MODEST?? Who are you kidding here?! People are going to need microscopes if they ever decide to look for your “modest” bust, and who cares about my height in-game I’m pretty tall on RL(Real Life) so I’m not worried one bit!”
“Tall on RL? Keep dreaming! You probably didn’t know that the last version of VR Caps(Virtual Reality Capsules) auto scans your height and weight which is added to your personal data for security purposes and that you have to un-check the “Use my Personal Data” which has no voice confirmation! you idioTTT!!!”
“U~h maybe….”
(That’s actually what happened when Anna created her character…I know this for a fact cause I live close by to her house, also her character is perfectly accurate down to the smallest umm “detail” but she’ll probably kill herself first than admit it though)
“U~h we should…”
“heh heh heh heh heh, you dumb bitch, your head probably absorbed too much sunlight since it’s clearly fried heh heh heh, let me put you out of your misery, I’ll drop a specially large “meteor” on your head if you’re lucky, it might boost your brain activity if it doesn’t flatten you first! And probably the impact will also wake that stupid slacker!
“U~h calm down a bit?”
(……………………)
“Oh my! My dear, dear Anna! And here I thought you’re smart since you have “SAGE” on your class description; but you don’t even know your place! FINE! I’ll give you what you want! COME! ELDENRYLE!! Let’s scorch the little miss no tits along with that useless baggage!
(Whaaaat theeeeee Heeeeeeck! Just earlier they can’t decide what to do and now I’m gonna be fried or flatten or worse! both!
Please! merciful “Great God” send me a saviour I don’t care about the “END” anymore just please save me!)
“STOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!” suddenly another girl get's in-between the two raging girls and along with a loud voice, temporarily stops their conflict
(…….?!)
“……….?”
“……….?”
“Everyone please calm down” a nice and gentle voice can be heard coming from a girl with silver white hair, green eyes and more importantly with breasts the size of melons! Her words instantly stops the calamity that might have happened (specially to a certain someone)
(Thank you “Great God” for hearing my silent prayers...Ah I nearly forgot about our group’s sweet angel Chloe!!!)
“Please forget about frying or flattening him because that will not wake him up” says Chloe with a gentle but oddly convincing voice
“………..”
“………..”
(Whew! Eli and Anna clearly can’t say anything back against Chloe because they both know they can’t win against her, even from the very beginning that they met, they never ever argued against Chloe.)
(It’s probably because Chloe just needs to talk to them face to face and in front of those “mega weapons” they’ll be beaten to submission without any chance of a counter-attack.)
“Even if we curse him, toss him in acid, or cut him he probably will still not wake up!!!” Chloe continues with a stronger and firmer voice
“………” “………” “………” “………”
“So I suggest we put him in a drum filled with holy water and then ELECTROCUTE HIM!!!” Exclaimed Chloe now in a somewhat feverish voice
(Well me personally don’t really mind whether they’re big or small, grandpa always did say, size matters not in the hands of a wise man…..wait…what did she just say?? Holy water? Electrocute? Ah crap! I forgot about her weird fetish!!)
(Damn! I totally forgot about it! Chloe is normally a sweet angel but if some “abnormal status” she can’t de-buff occurs, she will naturally assume it’s Demon Possession! She will then pour holy water and then electrocute you! Whoever put this dumb idea into her head I swear I’m gonna kill that person a hundred fold!)
*SOMEWHERE IN THE VAST WORLD*
(*ACHOOO* “Did I catch a cold?”
“Hey! We** what are you doing over there we’re almost near the Boss if you’re not feeling well you can sit this one out you know” says an archer with great hope in his eyes
“What are you saying? Sit it out and lose MONEY?! I’m fine! My nose just felt a little itchy earlier”
“If you say so… (Damn I thought we can get the good drops on this Boss run when I saw him sneeze)
“It seems Va* Ha** is have returned”
“Master, we’ve located the Boss “BELLOKRUNE” The Forsaken Tyrant that wiped the five guild joint coalition that tried to hunt him”
“Good! Well then everyone time to go Hunting!!”)
“OUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!” loudly replied by an enormous amount of people
~BACK IN THE DISTORTED SPACE~
“hmmmm Chloe makes a good point” a certain black haired girl says
“U~h……”
“Well, shock treatment have always been found to be clinically proven” added by a certain short loli girl”
“U~h everyone? When I asked what we should do, this wasn’t what I meant” nervously spoken by Ben in hopes to somehow change their mind but clearly his opinion didn’t matter.
“Humph! I say we should force feed him some of the deadly poisons Kayl carries it should have some great effect then we electrocute him!” mercilessly said by the blond curly haired flat fronted girl
(Damn, I don’t like where this is going. I guess it’s time to stealthily wake up without arousing suspicion from any of the lunatic girls in my vicinity, thankfully they still seem to be fully immersed in their twisted talk so I’ll just leave without saying goodbye, my life depends on it after all)
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
(Okay time to slowly open my eyes…crazy lunatics? Check!...now slowly, quietly…..I am a ninja!…I am the air!…rising up with movements that can put any spy into shame I slowly turn around…I just need to move a few feet and jump off this area and I’ll be safe! Since we’re in some kind of plateau and the space in this area is distorted, once I jump off wherever I drop nobody will know! Feeling victory's within my grasp, after stealthily turning around, I am suddenly staring straight to the eyes of a person who so far has not made his presence known to me…and probably will decide of what my fate will be.
“Everyone~ no matter what we do to him and no matter what order it happens it will be fine as long as we throw him in a drum filled with Holy water and ELECTROCUTE HIM~” Chloe in a very happy voice loudly proclaims what my fate is and that it will not be changed….
(Hearing that super scary declaration I started having cold sweat, with my last effort I raised my right hand and put my forefinger close to my mouth to try and give the person in front of me a hand sign meaning to keep quiet! This person I’m face to face with “Kayl” is a “Huntsman” so he should be pretty familiar with any and all types of hand signs”
*Nods* Kayl moves his head slowly up and down indicating he “understood” me.
(Inwardly rejoicing that my luck still hasn’t abandoned me fully because of Kayl’s response I then decided to continue my escape plan.)
*STEPS* after very quietly making my first step a great horror suddenly happened, somebody noticed me and sentenced me to hell….
“U~h…….OHHHH!!!! LOOOOKKK it seems “Riyen” has finally regained consciousness!! I guess there’s no need for these scary talks after all! ~”
(BEEEEEEENNNNNN!! you big idiot why oh why did this happen! I was almost there! But you suddenly back stabbed me! There definitely won’t be any need for any more scary talks because it’ll be time to put those talks into reality!)
*Creak**Creak* I slowly turned my head and it generated a sound like that of a gears that hasn’t been oiled for decades and carefully took a peek behind me, and what I saw is probably scarier than the Great Monster I was supposed to fight here! The eyes of the four girls in our party are shining and one can clearly see the madness from their eyes!!
“Ummmmmmm……..everybody good morning to you all….. (I need to escape or die trying!!) Great weather we have today huh? (I guess time to go for broke!)
*SHINE* *SHINE* *SHINE* *SHINE* four pairs of eyes are watching my every move, you can feel they’re desire oozing out and it isn’t the good type at all…
“WOAH!!! Look behind you there’s a wild “Jewelled Rabbit” just waiting to be made a pet!!!
Hearing that there’s a wild “Jewelled Rabbit”, it didn’t take the four of them a fraction of a second to turn their heads around, and at that very instant I used all my agility to dash to the border of the area I’m currently in...(I can make it!!! Just a few more steps and I’m safe!) Thinking that, a black death suddenly rushed past and stood in front of me…considering the speed I’m going, naturally If I crashed with the black death with my strength, vitality and stamina being absurdly high if I didn’t do any emergency moves something really bad might’ve happened..
Of course I still crashed with the black death whose identity is the jet black haired girl named Rhia...Currently since she’s on standby mode so she wasn’t wearing any armor at all and is just wearing something like a black skin tight body suit, another reason I decided to avoid a head on clash, if she was wearing full armor then it won’t matter at all and definitely I’ll be the one hurting. Then again maybe it was better that I chose a head-on clash if I did I probably would have entered hell with one less punishment.Why that is will be revealed shortly…
“Ahh damn, hey Rhia are you alright?”
“………”
“Hey your face is all red did you get hurt somewhere” (since we rolled a few times and I wanted to shield her from most of the impact, she somehow ended up on top of me which is good, now I just need to stand her up…???..Why isn’t she standing up exactly?? Trying to move my hands I finally realized there’s something really soft on my right hand…analyzing the situation it seems my left hand is on the back of Rhia’s head, the problem is that my right hand is firmly squishing her left breast!!) “Um Rhia? Sorry about that but can you stand up now? Trying to push her up with my hand still on her breast and with Rhia not cooperating with me, I ended up pressing my right hand even deeper on her above average sized breast. Of course doing something like that, I got rewarded with a sweet moan from her.
“AH…unnnnnnnnhhhh”
What a nice sound she made!!...and now I’m starting to feel something hard on her breast…this! This definitely is Rhia’s n……before I could finish that thought the face of three demons came into view. Their faces unrecognizable specially the two girls with flat chests…
“SORRY FOR HAVING A FLAT CHEST!! NOW DIE!!!” x2
And thus my hell begun, from a seemingly peaceful sleep to seeing the river Styx is how I will begin my story though truthfully this place is also where it will end...If you’re curious about how this all begun then I’ll be more than willing to share my story, it all started with…..
-ROOAAWWWWRRRRR ROOOAAAWWWWRRRRR-
Hmmm it seems my story will have to wait since the Big Guy of this place is finally ready to rumble…
==THE G_ _ _T D_ _ _ _ _ KI_ _ OF THE A_ _ _ _ ==
"SEYBTHAS NORDAG"
HAS AWAKENED!! ALL LIFEFORMS IN THIS BEING’S PRESENCE SHALL HAVE 70% REDUCED STATS
ALL ATTACKS AIMED AT THIS MIGHTY BEING WITHIN A 1KM RANGE WILL HAVE 50% REDUCTION AND ALL SKILLS WILL REQUIRE 50% MORE MANA TO USE! ANY LIVING CREATURE BELOW LEVEL 500 WILL SLOWLY LOSE HEALTH UNTIL THEY DIE!!
THE GREAT ONE SEYBTHAS NORDAG HAS BEEN SEALED FOR OVER 3 BILLION YEARS SO ITS POWER STILL HASN’T FULLY RETURNED! ONCE ALL THE DIVINE ARTIFACTS GATHERED HAVE BEEN ABSORBED THEN WILL SEYBTHAS NORDAG REGAIN ALL IT’S POWER!!
TIME REMAINING TILL ARTIFACTS ARE FULLY ABSORBED XX:XX:XX
“70% reduction in stats?! Along with 50% damage reduction and that thing still hasn’t fully recovered? This is definitely insane!”
“Status window!”
Status WindowAvatarRiyenTypeGoodLevelXXXClassxxxxxxxx xxxxxxDivinityxx%Patron GodxxxxFamexxxxxxxTitlexxxxxDivine Powerxxxx(-xxxx)Devotionxxxx(-xxxx)Strengthxxxx(-xxxx)Agilityxxxx(-xxxx)Vitalityxxxx(-xxxx)Staminaxxxx(-xxxx)Wisdomxxxx(-xxxx)Intelligencexxxx(-xxxx)Fighting Spiritxxxx(-xxxx)Leadershipxxxx(-xxxx)Luckxxxx(-xxxx)Faithxxxx(-xxxx)Honorxxxx(-xxxx)Offensexxxx(-xxxx)Defensexxxx(-xxxx)Magic Resistancexxxx(-xxxx)ReputationxxxxxxPower of Lifexxxxxxx
Oh well It seems I will have to deal with this guy first and foremost...Since it’s kind of my fault that that monster was awakened. Just to say, it was not on purpose and I was technically the victim, but this probably is just another bad twist of fate that I seem to have, and it’s shocking how bad my fate seems to be…
Also do you know what the biggest shock of this story is? It isn’t the _ _ _ _ _ END, nor is it the fact that I’m about to face off against a monster who eats Gods, nor is the fact that only 7 people will fight that monster…no my dear friends the biggest shock here would be the fact that the Main Character of this story is……
A FARMER
Yep you heard it right I AM A FARMER and my main weapon is a HOE, sadly my precious Hoe is with the ancient monster slowly being devoured so even before I fight I first need to get it back or else I will be nothing but baggage like a certain flat chested blond says…
Though the situation I am in seems to be something a farmer shouldn’t be in and might question I am actually a farmer or not. Though my situation is odd I really am a genuine farmer, one who likes planting wheat and rice and also raising livestock so please do believe me..
Well everyone that will be all for now, if you’re interested in finding out how this battle ends be sure to continue reading on, the beginning might be a bit boring or maybe too common but really, how many farmers end up in a story like mine anyways? The answer to that will be interesting to find out…
“Well are you guys ready?”
“……..” “………..” “………..” “……….” “……umm”*blushes* “U~H”
“I’ll take that as a yes then…Just one thing everybody…please don’t “DIE” here today”
AvatarRiyenClassMidnight Farmer
To be continued….