This morning I was having the most wonderful dream—something about lounging on a throne made entirely of gold coins, surrounded by adoring subjects who offered me endless snacks.

Tasty snacks~

Just as I reached out to grab a particularly delicious-looking tart, reality slammed into me. Literally.

"WAKE UP!"

A tiny body launched itself onto my stomach, knocking the wind out of me and dragging me out of my dreamland with the force of a boulder.

I shot up, flailing like a drowning fish. "What the—WHO—WHY?!"

"Good morning!" chirped this small demon currently straddling my stomach. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief as her silky black hair fell into her face. She was grinning so wide that it almost made up for the fact that I couldn't breathe.

Almost.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" I groaned, clutching my ribs. "I need those intact!"

She poked my cheek with a tiny finger and giggled. "Nope, you're too squishy to die. Besides, you snore so loud I couldn't sleep anymore! "

"I do not snore—wait, did you just call me squishy?!"

Actually, is it just me or did she just change personality? I don't think that's just because I saved her...hm (ಠ_ಠ)

Before I could demand an explanation, a loud clunk came from the kitchen. My head snapped toward the sound to find my annoying clone rummaging through my cabinets.

"Good morning!" she called out cheerfully, as though she wasn't a traitor who had abandoned me to face punishment the day before.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, shoving the kid off my stomach, and staggering to my feet.

I said shove but it was too gentle to even hurt the kid, heck she's giggling!

"Making breakfast," she said, waving a ladle in one hand and a pot in the other like they were trophies. "Thought I'd do something nice for us!"

"Nice?" I raised an eyebrow. "You? Don't make me laugh."

"Come on, boss, cut me some slack!" she replied, sticking her tongue out at me. "You're gonna love what I'm cooking. It's...unique!"

Unique was an understatement. The smell wafting from the pot was more reminiscent of swamp water than breakfast.

Huh, I guess my clones aren't exactly 100% me.

I watched as the kid hopped off the bed and darted toward the kitchen. "Can I help?"

"Sure!" my clone said, handing her a shiny knife.

"NO!" I yelled, diving forward to snatch the knife away before the kid could do anything drastic. "What's wrong with you? She's a kid!"

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"It's a butter knife," my clone said, rolling her eyes.

"That's still a knife!" I snapped, shoving it into the nearest drawer. "How about we let her set the table instead?"

Yep, defintely not 100% me.

Author: Keep telling yourself that.

The kid pouted but complied, dragging a stool over to the cabinet to reach the wooden plates. She hummed a cheerful tune as she carefully laid out mismatched plates and cups, looking so pleased with herself that I couldn't stay annoyed.

"Where's Leah?" I asked, noticing the eerie silence. Usually, she'd be here teasing me while Titan silently judged us all.

They've always dropped by here since the cabin was built.

"They left early," my clone said, adding something green to the pot. "Said something about patrols or something. Probably just wanted to avoid helping out."

Typical.

"What's that green stuff?" the kid asked, peering curiously into the pot.

"Mint!" my clone said confidently.

"It's grass," I corrected, snatching the bundle of weeds from her hand. "Where did you even get this?"

"Outside," she said with a shrug. "It looked fresh!"

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "Why do I even let you in my house?"

"Because I'm adorable?"

"Debatable," I muttered.

Eventually, I wrestled control of the kitchen away from her and whipped up a passable batch of pancakes. The kid watched me work with wide, sparkling eyes, occasionally throwing out requests for dragon-shaped pancakes with syrup wings.

"Maybe next time," I told her, flipping another plain pancake onto a plate. "For now, you'll have to settle for round pancakes."

"That's boring," she said, sticking out her tongue.

"Well, life is boring sometimes," I replied, setting the plate in front of her. "Eat up."

She took a bite and immediately got syrup all over her face. It was honestly impressive how quickly she managed to make a mess.

Ha...Life's finally taking a turn here ever since Serena came by.

Usually I'd be eating roasted something by now.

"You've got—" I started, but she wiped her sticky hands on my sleeve before I could finish.

"Thanks!" she chirped, completely oblivious to my horrified expression.

Behind me, my clone burst out laughing so hard she nearly fell over.

"Parenthood looks good on you, boss," she said between fits of giggles.

I glared at her. "You're lucky I don't kick you out."

After breakfast, I cleaned up while the kid and my clone started a game of "Who Can Shout the Loudest?" Spoiler: they both won.

By the time lunch rolled around, my patience was wearing thin. The kid had somehow managed to climb onto the roof ("I wanted to see the birds!"), my clone had spilled tea all over the table, and my chair was missing two legs, courtesy of an "experiment" involving a hammer and some rope.

"How is it only noon?" I groaned, flopping onto the couch. This feels like I'm babysitting.

The kid climbed up beside me, her sticky fingers clutching a book. "Read me this!"

I squinted at the title. "The Adventures of Bramblebush and Friends? Where did you even find this?"

"Leah gave it to me!" she said brightly.

Of course, she did.

I sighed and opened the book, my voice monotone as I began reading. "Once upon a time, in a faraway forest, there was a hedgehog named Bramblebush—"

"Do the voices!" the kid interrupted, bouncing in her seat.

"The voices?"

"Yeah! Leah does the voices!"

I groaned again but complied, pitching my voice higher to mimic Bramblebush. "Oh no, I've lost my acorns! Whatever shall I do?"

The kid giggled, clapping her hands. "That's perfect!"

By the time we finished the book, my voice was hoarse, and the kid was sprawled across the couch, fast asleep. I carefully tucked a blanket around her and sat back, letting out a long breath.

My clone appeared from the kitchen, holding two mugs of tea. She handed one to me and plopped down in the armchair.

"You're getting good at this caretaking thing, boss" she said, smirking.

I gave her a sideways glance. "Shut up."

She chuckled. "I'm serious. For someone who has no idea what they're doing, you're doing alright."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered, sipping my tea.

As annoying as she was, I couldn't deny she had a point. I might not have everything figured out yet, but at least I was trying. And as I looked at the kid, peacefully sleeping on the couch, I felt a tiny spark of pride....

Little theater:

Aria with a mug of tea, glances at her clone: "You know, I'm starting to think you're a bad influence."

Clone: "Oh, please, you're thriving. Who knew you'd be such a natural at this?"

Aria: "Don't make me regret this."