When I said I wanted a new life, I didn't expect it to come with… this.
Picture this: I'm lying on what can only be described as a mossy dirt floor, surrounded by ogres. Big, green, muscular ogres. And the cherry on top? I'm one of them.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
Name: Undefined
Race: Ogre (Infant)
Skill Points: 0
Evolution Progress: 0%
Okay, deep breaths. I can handle this. It's just… ogres. Not the worst thing, right? At least I'm not a slime. Or a cockroach.
Before I could dwell on my existential crisis, a massive ogre loomed over me. It had sharp tusks, a thick brow, and an expression that could curdle milk.
"Gruahk!" it grunted, picking me up with one meaty hand.
"Uh, hi?" I squeaked, not that it could understand me.
The giant ogre inspected me, sniffed, and then—to my absolute horror—licked me.
"EW!" I shrieked internally. But all that came out was a high-pitched wail. Great. Just great. My baby ogre body had one job, and that was crying. Very intimidating.
The ogre, seemingly satisfied, plopped me down next to a bundle of other tiny ogres. My new "siblings," I guessed. They were drooling and squirming around, looking just as clueless as I felt.
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Fantastic. My epic reincarnation tale had started with a giant licking contest.
---
Lesson One: Survival of the Drooliest
Life as an ogre infant wasn't exactly glamorous. Food? We fought over scraps of meat and weird glowing mushrooms. Housing? A damp cave that smelled like wet dog. And hygiene? Don't even get me started.
But hey, I had a goal now: survive long enough to figure out how to level up and evolve. Because if I was stuck as a tiny green potato forever, I'd lose it.
---
Time Skip: 3 Weeks Later
By ogre standards, I was thriving.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
Skill Unlocked: Bite (Level 1)
What's that, you ask? Oh, it's only the coolest baby skill ever. Turns out, if you bite enough things—rocks, mushrooms, or an unlucky sibling—the system rewards you. Who knew being a menace had perks?
But the real jackpot came when I found my first magic mushroom.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
You have consumed a Lesser Mana Shroom. MP unlocked.
Oh yeah, baby. I was officially in the game now.
---
Lesson Two: Power and Problems
Here's the thing about ogres: we're not exactly known for our brains. Strength? Sure. Stamina? Absolutely. But strategy? Nah.
Case in point: one of my "siblings" decided to pick a fight with me over a piece of meat. Let's call him Grumpy.
Grumpy was bigger, meaner, and definitely dumber. He charged at me like a bull, tusks out and everything.
I panicked. "System, help me out here!"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
Skill Unlocked: Squeal (Level 1)
Uh, what? Before I could complain, my body let out the loudest, most obnoxious squeal imaginable. It was like nails on a chalkboard, multiplied by ten.
Grumpy froze, covering his ears. Even the adults winced.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
You have inflicted Stun (1 second).
That was all the opening I needed. I grabbed the meat and ran for my life. Victory tasted sweet—literally.