The village was burning. Citizens were streaming from their houses, spilling torches and candles as they fled. Chaos abounded. And in the central courtyard, a dark tower began to erupt from the earth. As the fine cobblestones and planted trees blasted into the air, villagers fell, either victim to the projectiles or more simply to the violent tremors stemming from this new structure’s appearance.
Something new was arising within the mind of Linatius, and Grizz was powerless to stop it. He stared at her on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes even as a deadly new expression began to take form: Resigned acceptance.
He felt frozen to the earth. His friend was in dire straits, but what was he to do about it? Whatever internal battle she was fighting, surely a devil’s influence wouldn’t improve the situation.
What about the influence of a friend?
Grizz shook his head. He had too long defined himself by his past. By what he was born as and what he had done. This wasn’t necessarily wrong. Better to define himself by his actions than by some made up metric of his own divining, but Lin had shown him a different way. One that scared him to his core.
He could define himself by who he aspired to be. A friend, Lin’s Friend. That would be more than enough for the little de- the little friend. There was only one thing for him to do now.
Grizz lunged forward, scoring a deep slash across Lin’s left cheek with his shockingly sharp claws. Grizz winced. He hadn’t thought his attack would prove so damaging, but he had achieved his goal. The pain of the strike had brought a degree of awareness back in Lin’s previously dull eyes.
“Grizz, why did you do that?” She said, almost whispering as she clutched her cheek. The sedentary tone of her voice almost made Grizz crumble into ink right there. It was as if she had expected him to betray her, felt that he should betray her.
“Because I’ve been where you are.” He proclaimed loudly, his traitorous voice trembling wildly.
Lin’s face erupted with a sickening, unnatural smile. “I sincerely doubt that.” The voice that came out was in no way, shape or form Lin’s. It was unnaturally deep and guttural. Its mere utterance recalled the worst of Grizz’s associations. The four horsemen, the seven deadly sins, Ayn rand. Every fiber of will in his tiny little body strained to keep Grizz floating before Lin and resist the urge to flee.
“Perhaps the particulars of our situations are different.” Grizz conceded, fighting to make his voice steady. “But I know what it is to have two warring natures within me.
“War implies conflict, of which there is none! Lin has conceded to me as the superior being fair and square! She knows she is too weak to resist!” Lin’s body contorted so violently it appeared that her spine might snap. Grizz’s eyes ignited with hellfire.
“That you say such nonsense is proof to me of the contrary! Lin is the strongest person I know, and the only reason to spout those falsehoods is to convince her of them. She is only weak if she believes herself to be!” Gone was the tremor, smoothed away by the searing press of rage. “Lin! It is okay to not be proud of your past! It is alright to wonder at your capabilities going forward! All you have to do is remember the joy you bring to everyone around you, magic or no!”
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“I see you will not be convinced by me. Perhaps you will listen to your friend.” Lin cackled, and suddenly, her body ceased contorting, her spine straightening and her hands dropping to her side. “Grizz.” She called out in a normal voice, “it’s okay. You can’t understand what I’m going through, and that’s not your fault. You naturally enjoy torturing the souls of the damned. You made a choice to fall from heaven and seized your best life. I have only ever been a leaf on the wind, being pushed from one moment to another without an ounce of agency, and I’m sick of it. How many years did I waste doing nothing in that potion shop? The one time I thought I had a gift, something to offer to the world, it turned out to be a curse forced upon me by a monster! So why not let the monster take over? If I can’t make any other choices in my life, then I can at least choose this!” Lin’s words became harder and harder to understand as her throat choked with tears.
Grizz stared at her, incredulously. “You’re kidding, right? You’ve never made a choice?” The fire in Grizz’s eyes spread along the lines of his face, setting the length of his horns alight. “Now I know you’ve lost it! You know that shop where you ‘did nothing?’ It wouldn’t exist without you! You were the glue that kept it going. And if you think that’s nothing, then you aren’t paying attention. Thousands of people rely on you not only for the magic that keeps them alive, but also for the community that keeps them whole. You provide a space of kindness and understanding. You’ve never made a choice? Every day, you chose to TRY. You kept going, and when you found a chance to make an even greater impact, you took it!”
Lin opened her mouth to respond, but Grizz wasn’t finished, not nearly. “And you think I wanted this?! You think I’m happy with this?!” He angrily gestured at his demonic visage. “You think I recall the perfection that was God’s with anything but regret?! I didn’t only betray my family, my creator and the entirety of paradise, but I abandoned my purpose. My duty to create understanding and love between all creatures? GONE! And don’t you dare say I don’t feel the sting of that every single day!” Tears of flame streaked down Grizz’s face, searing the ink that made him whole.
“Why then? Why did you speak so proudly of your choices?” Lin asked plaintively, as if the answer might act as a lifeline to pull her from the churning sea.
“What other choice did I have?! I chose to fall. It was a fate of my own making. I can’t then turn around and complain about it for twenty thousand years. And to do so would be to admit my reasons. For freedom? The right to choose? I wish!” Grizz sighed, his shoulders deflating as the fire on his horns began to simmer. “That would have been devilish and fitting. Not me. Of all the fallen angels, I am the only one to do so not out of greed, or adventure or even loyalty. I did it because I knew what fate my favorite sibling, Lucifer would face, fighting the almighty creator, and I didn’t want them to die alone… And then I ended up a glorified prison guard for the evil and the selfish. So, hey! Why not punish them? They had harmed so many people due to their lack of empathy, empathy they lacked in part due to my absence. The least I could do was teach them empathy as painfully as possible.” Grizz began to sink in the air, unable to lift his chin to meet Lin’s eye.
“I ruined everything, all because I worried about the sake of others. So, I allowed myself to become someone else, someone who wouldn’t do that. I thought that was the only way to survive. The only way to go forward… And then I met you. Someone who kept trying. And Dad dammit, you made me want to care again. That was always your true magic. And you had it long before you ever brought the page to life. I asked you to tattoo me because I knew you would never pursue your own passions for fear of rocking the boat. But… Sometimes you just gotta jump. If I hadn’t, I’d be just like Charmeine right now.” Grizz shivered. “Broken hearted over a desecrated past, incapable of moving forward. Don’t let yourself become that. Believe in your magic and jump. Please.” Grizz landed gently on the ground at Lin’s feet, breathless.