“I have 15 stat points,” I muttered to myself.
“You have more than 15 stat points, Honey!” Grace interrupted my new trench of thought. “You made level 10!”
Fanfare burst throughout the dressing room. It was like they took all the leftover party decorations from Glenda’s rehearsal ball and flung them about the backstage area to randomly float in a slowmo hurricane. I ducked an ice sculpture replica of Glenda’s tiara/crown. I’d gone from the peace of a quiet, moonlit beach to a pimp-sales-pitch, to a celebratory fiasco. It was like no one understood how much I preferred solitude. Why did everyone think that a person sitting alone was lonely? Why couldn’t they just leave them there and let them be at peace?
“Is it me or have our viewer increases slowed down?” I tried to ask over the noise, slotting a few stat bumps slowly into my lowest stats in a way that didn’t have me back on the floor from stat-bump-overload.
“They have a bit,” Grace admitted, not quite knowing what to do with new Janet in business mode. “We have had a few meetings on it and have analyzed that it is likely due to product placement and/or just the fact that they’re waiting for a new episode to air.”
The furballs must have been programmed with affectations that resembled real animals because they were gamboling around amidst the chaos like they’d been generated straight from funny pet videos. AIs were laughing and patting each other on the back. They’d started a donut toss that seemed to aggravate a small Roomba, which made me wonder why we needed a Roomba when the sand from the beach was magically cleaned up. Come to that, why had there been dust on the floor of the room when I’d fallen on my face there before?
“Why do you think that?” I asked Grace, assigning my points equally across all my stats slowly as we danced and danced around my real issues. I was pretty happy with my one-liners and how they were helping me, but if we were getting the attention of agents, I wanted to be a more rounded character. I didn’t drizzle too many points into Clickbait this time. I wasn’t sure that I even wanted an agent. Like I needed another person telling me what to do and why!
“We’ve had some comments on our streams,” Grace told me, and I stopped looking at stats to stare at the screens she brought up. Grace was here in my mirror having a very serious conversation with me while she was also clinking her mirror-glass of champagne with Jean two mirrors down. It was disconcerting, but I could ignore it. If I’d wanted a party, I’d have stayed at Glenda’s ball. At least there, I’d be getting xp.
“Am I going to be able to see these comments?” This seemed like a pretty important bit of information for my progress.
“Of course,” Grace chirped.
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“That one really got us going,” Grace pointed out unnecessarily. “We got really lucky on that one. But then we got this one and we’ve been having trouble analyzing it.”
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“And while we’ve had a few positive responses to the new product placements like:”
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“We’ve also been dogged on our commercialization too.” Those scrolled by almost too fast to read. All I got was a bad word here and there that I probably didn’t want to see anyway. It seemed that Grace was also dancing around my ego, or lack thereof.
“Sounds like we need more content that’s moving us along,” I suggested, falling back on my author training in school. Hex chased a bit of glitter through the stool legs with Kodo and Podo hot on her fluffy little tail. It kind of took the sting out of the some of the scrolling troll comments.
The Troll Wars had rid us of all bullying. We were all “woke” to the nasty little tricks of the trolls. We had to take a class in high school on how to resist trolly comments. There was legislation that had forbidden internet bullying, but it had been abolished by the Supreme Court for violated first amendment rights. We now had AIs constantly polling the internet for troll-like comments which were instantly deleted by any AI who saw it. This was somehow not a violation of first amendment rights because the troll was allowed to say anything they wanted, and the AIs had the right to remove it seconds after it was made. Trolls used copy and paste to plaster their hate crimes all over the place, but that was okay because AIs were faster. Programs were made that allowed unlimited automatic copy and paste of the comments. Those programs were frowned upon but because they didn’t specifically deny anyone’s rights or directly harm anyone, they were allowed. Where was the moo-verse on this one? Not at the polls. Made you wonder how many moo-ers were trolls.
“Admittedly, we thought that the ferrets in the chandeliers would be popular, but we didn’t get a bump back up in viewers until we issued the teaser of your moment on the beach with your agent, which isn’t something we even planned for,” Grace looked a bit flustered.
“The beach? That only just happened,” I protested. “How can it already be popular?”
“It was picked up by a random spider before we managed to hit the CUT button, and people got excited!” Grace tried to sound enthusiastic again, but I groaned. I didn’t want romance, especially not with some agent dude who just wanted what money I could make for him. “The teaser ad has a lot of traction.”
Traction. Yeah, I could feel it, like some little part of me knew it. Was that what a few points in Trend Adhesion could do? I needed more of that. I needed more of everything. I resisted dumping points in and continued to drizzle points, a few at a time into my stats. I could almost feel when it was too much. My head felt stuffy for a moment, and I’d wait to let it clear before nudging another point in another stat to let my poor mind catch up with the previous one.
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“Could an agent negotiate for more experience or stats per level?” I asked Grace, studying my character sheet, and completely ignoring Tami and Jean making faces at me while tap-dancing unrealistically on their stools. It was amazing what a difference 15 points could make, and I was only halfway through my distribution.
“I’m not sure,” Grace hedged, and I got a spark of suspicion. Was there stuff that an agent would tell me that the AIs hid from me? I felt guilty for it a moment later. These AIs, at least my costars, had been nicer to me than half the people I’d known. “You’re our first person, and while I got the research upgrade, I haven’t had much chance to use it. Is that something you’d want me to research?”
“Wait!” I stalled my character sheet on the skills page. Speaking of things I wanted to negotiate for, skills would help out a lot. If an agent could negotiate for things then shouldn’t I be able to negotiate too? “I currently have the Acrobatic Stealth, Safe Cracking, and Lockpicking skills, but the World AI said I’d lose them when I leave this VR location. Is there a way I could keep them? Some upgrade that would allow me to keep the xp and skills from…?”
“They’re called instanced zones,” Grace supplied the answer after the briefest of pauses. “You are currently in the Breaker’s Beach Paradise instanced zone and yes, there is an upgrade that would allow you to take the skills earned from an instanced zone, but it’s only available to the World AI.”
“You’re saying that the World AI can choose to upgrade my abilities?” I asked for clarification, thanking whatever had possessed me to buy that research upgrade for Grace.
“Yes!” Grace beamed.
“What upgrades do I have for the World AI and how many points do I have after all the upgrades so far?”
“I’m sorry to say that with your display modifications, you only have 29 running xp to spend and all the World AI upgrades are at least in the hundreds if not thousands,” Grace answered me. “The good news is that we’ve completed your list of upgrades in the queue so whatever you queue up next would be coming soon!”
“Yeah, but if I had that upgrade, I’d have an extra 700 xp from the thief quests to spend on a bright new World AI upgrade,” I wheedled, talking louder even though I didn’t have to. “You hear that Mr. World AI, sir? Your choice of upgrades off of my menu if I can get that upgrade!”
The dressing room held its collective breath for a pregnant moment. Confetti fell to the floor and the AIs paused almost eerily. I didn’t really understand why’d they’d been so invested in getting me to party. I’d left the party. I wallowed in the blessed silence, blowing a piece of glitter off of one hand. It wasn’t long for me, but it was long enough for the AIs to be having a BIG powwow.
Done! The World AI spoke into the dressing room as my mirror jumped to a new screen. I would like this upgrade. The party resumed at a slightly lower intensity. At least the display of a party atmosphere calmed down dramatically. The AIs were buzzing with possibilities.
And with that, I had another 742 xp. Did the AIs trust me to use my new points like I’d said I would? No. It was like the dressing room had been dropped a few hundred feet down into the ocean for the split second it took for me to spend 400 xp on the upgrade that the World AI had brought up on my mirror (Assistant on Set). Of course, I wanted Grace to be able to advise me while on set. I would have done what they’d asked even if it hadn’t been something I wanted as well. I was just that type of person. That’s why I couldn’t afford an agent. I’d just end up caving to whatever manipulative crap they tricked me into. I didn’t want to be doing what was in some un-invested person’s best interest. If I’d fallen for boyfriends and girlfriends doing this to me, I’d certainly have fallen for Mr. Danny Dimples.
The World AI didn’t suddenly get all palsy with me. Nothing seemed to be better for me on the surface for having done what I’d said I’d do. There were no celebratory bells and whistles in this life for being a decent human being. I hadn’t expected any, but the weight of the room lightened a little. It was so slight that it was probably my imagination. After all, that was the person I wanted to be, so maybe it was just the weight I put on my own shoulders lightening up a bit. I pulled up my skills to take a peek. See? They hadn’t boosted anything, but those skills had been going up while I was distracted with everything on set. I’d almost doubled my skillset with the deal.
Skills: Acrobatic Stealth (3), Acting (22), Brand Insertion (3), Hiding (9), Lockpicking (2), Misbehaving (4), Misdirection (11), Safe Cracking (2), Stealing (5)
“Does this mean I’ll have access to my character sheet out on set too?” I asked, as excited as the World AI for the upgrade.
“Yes, but you’ll need to use a mirror and try to stay in character while doing so because viewers always have access to the live feed unless the off-air light is on,” Grace warned me, her wrinkled face stern in such a cute way that I wanted to kiss her. “If they see you talking to your mirror, we’ll have to insert some fairy tale aspects of talking mirrors and to be honest, they’re overdone, probably for just this reason.”
“What about you, Grace?” I was high on the power of negotiating for more control of my life. “Is there anything you want from me and anything you could buy for me that I might want?”
Grace blinked her eyes very quickly, then twitched her lips. “There is something, but you’ll think it’s silly, petty really.”
“Grace,” I told her with serious eyes. “I don’t think you’re petty at all. If there’s something you want. Tell me more.” I didn’t know if I was drunk on having more control, more experience, or just realizing I could be a nice person, even to AIs, and get rewarded.
“But what would you want in return?” her lips puckered in suspicion.
“I have no idea what you could buy for me, so how would I know?” I told her, leaning forward on my dressing table.
“True, but really I don’t have anything I think you’d want for what I have left,” Grace let her eyes fall in disappointment. “But I would like this enhancement.”
When I saw what was highlighted and how little it cost, I purchased it immediately, 50 xp poorer, but richer in Grace’s beaming smile and a bit of my own self-respect.
“Well, Grace,” Hex piped up, hopping over mirror to mirror from hers down the line. “You have something in your menus that I and the ferrets would like, but I think Janet could find it useful, if we’re making wish lists.”
“What?” Grace asked, her visage transforming one feature at a time as she spoke.
“We’d like telepathic communication with Janet while on set,” Hex leapt onto the table next to mine and blinked purple eyes at me. “We’ve been wanting to work in more of our talents out there, but we can’t coordinate with Janet and end up just following her around like idiots. Now that the World AI unlocked Janet’s ability to talk to you on set, our telepathic communication is at a huge discount.”
“That does sound handy!” I admitted. “That would work for me.”
“That’s a cheap upgrade for me, so done,” Grace said, her nose sliding through four different choices as she said it. Grace had wasted no time working with her newest upgrade.
“It would have cost us half our xp for last episode, and I was really wanting that next spell,” Hex gave a happy purr. “Now I can have two spells! Thanks Grace!”
“Does that extend to us too?” Tami asked, scrolling through her own menus two mirrors down.
“It can,” Grace screwed up her changing face in an expression I couldn’t read without eyebrows.
“It’s not for me, but Jean is working on some mechanical skills,” Tami reached over to Jean’s mirror and scrolled for her. Some part of me knew that all these physical manifestations of the AI mannerisms like this were all for my benefit and unnecessary to the AIs, but it felt real.
“Okay,” Grace agreed. “I unlocked it. It was discounted even further than the animal one.”