Now Playing Dream Sweet In Sea Major -

‘Alone at the edge of a universe humming a tune, for merely dreaming we were snow~’

The smell of the ashy cigarette is still lingering in his room even when he opens the windows and smokes on the balcony. His room still has that ashy smell. Multiple finished cans of beer are thrown at the side, making it a huge pile.

2 or maybe 3 opened box cigarettes are scattered in there as well. The place looks like an absolute mess. It's not suitable for a human to live, but Ash continues living like this. He ignores everything around him and increases the volume on his earbuds.

‘A siren sounds like the goddess who

Promises endless apologies of paradise’

He looked at the evening sky, still drinking, still smoking, still playing that same damn album.

‘And only she can make it right

So things are different tonight’

He wasn’t sure how many cans of beer he had finished, but one thing he knows is that he isn’t drunk. Obviously, if others saw him, no one would be convinced he isn’t intoxicated since he has been drinking for 7 goddamn hours. Regardless of what people think, Ash still felt the same. No matter how many cigarettes he smokes, how much alcohol he consumes, or how many hours he listens to this album, the empty feeling is still there.

The smoke felt empty, and the drink felt dry. He likes a dead man. His room doesn’t even have any decoration; it’s a big room with a futon on the floor and a pile of trash at the corner. There’s a door to the bathroom and a sliding window to the balcony. That’s it. Well, it's more a studio than a room. It's not like he can't afford other types of accommodation; it's just that this giant single room is what he prefers.

No TV, no poster, no furniture, or anything like that; there is just a drawer where he kept his clothes, a motorcycle helmet, and a cat carrier that is thrown at the side. It's a truly soulless and messy room. In his own kitchen, there is a single plate and a single type of utensil. His own source of entertainment comes from his phone, and he usually plays music on it.

‘We'll go together in flight’

The black-haired man sighs once more as he looks at the time at the clock on the wall: 7 p.m.; he's been smoking and drinking since 12 p.m. Knowing that, he kills his cigarette and sighs in frustration. He was hoping to at least feel something with all this drinking and smoking, but in the end it didn’t work. He just ended up feeling more pathetic than ever. He can't even escape from those empty feelings.

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“Fuck.” He mutters in a tired voice, he has a bunch of dark circles around his eyes, his black hair is messy and oily and so does his brown face. He looks like a mess. An absolute mess.

‘It's now and never

A reverie endeavour

Awaits somnambulant directives

To take the helm’

His ears perk up, listening to the song. He slowly swayed his head side to side, mumbling towards the lyrics of the song. “Believe me, darling. The stars were made for falling like melting obelisks, as tall as another realm.” He slapped the skin of his feet to the beat of the music, his body slumping and swaying side to side.

‘Un ensemble d'enfants

La galaxie s'étend

Jardin de l'imagination

Combler la lacune

Voler face à la lune

Vois comme nous évoluons’

He loves this song; even when he listens to it all day long, he still loves it. Ash wasn’t sure what this song is about, but he loves it regardless, since at least this song fills the empty void.

Ash stopped swaying his head and slowly leaned at his walls and kept looking towards the sky. He's tired, so deeply tired. It’s already night, and he hasn’t eaten anything nor gone outside of his room. His body is lethargic, his mind is fuzzy, and his stomach is growling.

“I’m hungry.” He mutters and slowly gets up and drags his feet to go to the kitchen. He went to check the fridge, and lo and behold, he found absolutely nothing. His fridge is completely empty; he even finished his entire stock of beer that should last for a month.

He sighs deeply and groans. He ponders for a bit, thinking where to eat, but then his thinking goes to a halt; his favourite song is reaching to the best part. He goes to the centre of his apartment and looks at his ceiling. He looks around his messy apartment and kicks a couple of trash on the floor.

‘To know We are beyond a bow And lo, the hues arrange to show It's perfectly clear’

He makes some space to move around and sighs once again as he looks at his ceiling. Ash went to recall those dance lessons he had been taught years ago. He didn’t want to join them back then; it was more like he was forced by someone. He thought he wouldn't enjoy it, and back then he viewed them as girly and a waste of time. Now, he reminisces about those simple times.

‘You look quite divine tonight

Here among these vibrant lights’

He was dancing to the beat of the song, his arm flailing around at the sky. He whirled around, still trying to intimate those dances he once taught. He put his foot forward and back again, humming to the music he danced to. Ash smiled.

Pure delights surround us as we sail

Signed, yours truly, the whale’

He grabs an imaginary figure's hand, dancing with the one he once knew in his mind. For a moment, only for a moment, he was sent back to it’s childhood; he didn’t have to care about anything nor hold any weight of responsibility. He was unaware of the world back then. It was just him and… her. He let out a soft smile and closed his eyes as he continued to dance until the music ended.

Slowly he opens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and sighs once more as he slicks his hair to the back.

“I should eat,” he mutters. His hunger was finally noticeable enough for him to make an effort to go out. Ash grabs his keys, his phone, his earbuds case, and his motorcycle helmet. He put on his jacket and gloves for a safety ride. As he is about to exit, he takes a last view of this dump of an apartment. There’s mostly trash, but his eyes lock towards the cat carrier.

‘Sometimes, I thought I heard your voice again… Only to realize it was just a dream… I'll see you later, old friend.’ He left his apartment.