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Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey
Chapter 19: Langurs of the lost ark

Chapter 19: Langurs of the lost ark

Name: Natasha

Race: Mandrill lvl 7

XP: 910

Size: 70

Type: Beast

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: 3/36

Strength: 5/Speed: 10/Endurance: 5/Magic: 2/Plasticity: 1/Luck 6

Senses: Vision 3, hearing 4, smell 2, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 2, aposematism 1, innate magic 2

Skills: Bite 1, strike 2, grapple 2, throw 1, climb 2, sneak 3, hide 1, dash 1, dodge 1, block 1, discern weakness 1

Spells: Bluster 5 MAX, windfury 2

As soon as the fight was over, I flopped down onto my back, panting heavily, the dull ache that was previously just in my arm was now pulsating through my whole body. Again I didn’t want to immediately use up a full heal right as soon as I got it, but given the amount of blood I’ve lost and how light headed I am. If I pass out right now, I’ll probably die in less than a minute. Blood is starting to pool around my midsection.

-1 hp

My vision starts to go fuzzy as I look at my arm, a fourth of an arrow still sticking through it. Don’t want that to still be there when I heal, so I grab the longer end, clench my jaw, and quickly yank the arrow free, and it was like poking a hole in a barrel, blood starting to pour out and onto the floor, so that’s not good. I quickly open the menu and look around for the level up button, but my vision is fuzzy. I remember where it’s supposed to be, so I just poke around a bit until it works.

As soon as I was able to press the button correctly, a wave of relief washed over me and the harsh stone floor was suddenly as comfortable as laying on cold tiles on a hot day. I practically melted, eyes closed and very much in danger of falling asleep for a long while. Though I knew I really should get up. A dungeon is a really bad place to fall asleep. Eventually my eyes opened back up to look at my menu as it hovered in front of me. I’m not waiting to level up after I get out. This has shown me quite clearly that I need every point I can get.

I look at my stats and without a doubt I know where both of these points are going. Everything else aside I am getting too close to death too often. Both points are going to endurance. I watch my hp shoot up to a whopping 64. A dream by previous standards. With this I could get shot by a skeleton ten times and live, so long as I don’t bleed out. Also it means I won’t get tired as quickly either. By the end of that fight I was really running out of steam.

Next up, abilities. Two points in abilities to spend. Never did figure out what upgrading omnivore did. Maybe it increased the healing of the persimmon, but I’d need to test that and I don’t want to waste another point on it. There is balance though, which is good. But I don’t know if it would really be worth it. I did end up tumbling quite a bit, and maybe I could pick up some acrobatics later on, so I’ll put that as a maybe. I did like upping my senses, that really does help quite a bit too. Though not sure why I’d up taste. Maybe for things like detecting poisons? Then there’s the elephant in the room, magic. This thing has saved my life multiple times over by now. Not taking it frankly seems like I’d just be missing out, but on the same vein I’m not sure I want to be spreading out my spell ranks with a bunch of spells instead of just a few that I like. Then again, what’s stopping me from just taking the one single rank in the spell and not upgrading it? It will still be useful, just not the best it can possibly be, like bluster and windfury. In the end I convinced myself, and put both points into innate magic.

Next up, the new skills. I have two points to spend, and scrolling through, I noticed something that wasn’t there before. A bunch of bits about magic. Occultism, mysticism, sorcery, wizardry, etc. Now, I have a magic organ in my chest, but a skill related to magic would be really useful. Though I wouldn’t want to put both points into it, as I still want more practical skills, but one would be really helpful in understanding what the heck magic is in this world. I skim through them until I settle on mysticism. It sounds the most general magic-y. And so I highlighted it.

Mysticism: A basic skill that allows one to understand the effects of magic and its movement throughout the body.

Huh, so it’s a more internal thing. Though that sounds fine to me, my pseudo-lung would certainly fall under that category. I scrolled through to decide on what skill would be a good second choice and I kept in mind the fight I just had and what would have been useful. I stopped when I saw one that I’d overlooked more than once when scrolling through. Quickstep. Pretty sure when I saw it at first the only thing I thought of it for was either dancing or a shorter dash, but I never actually selected it to check.

Quickstep: A basic skill that allows one to quickly dart in any direction.

See now that does sound worse than the dash at first, but now that I have discern weakness, I know how monkeys have a difficulty moving backwards. This seems like the perfect skill for things like avoiding arrows without needing to constantly dash or risk a dodge. I saw a few more I could use, like foraging looks useful, but I feel like that can wait a bit now that I know about healing. I select both, and a shiver runs down my spine as I feel a rush of understanding. It wasn’t that I could now cast spells or anything, but as I took a breath in, I could picture the magic in my body. It wasn’t just the pseudo-lung but more a general thing. With every breath in, it gave me energy just like with my muscles. It was a lot like understanding your circulatory system. Wait… did I just grab what is essentially the magical version of a first aid course? I mean I’m not complaining, but not sure how to apply this practically yet.

As I casually tested my quick step, hopping back and forth, I grew more comfortable with the skill as I mulled over which ones to put my points into. Bite really turned out to be a big help, but it seriously banged up my teeth. I anxiously ran my tongue over the fangs that had since regenerated. Bite, dodge and block are all my last ditch choices, but at the same time, would it be better to put points into my other skills to keep from needing to use them? I could put more points into dash or strike, or discern weakness. I’ll compromise and put one in dodge and one in strike. Some offense and defense.

Next is the spells. Now, before I put the new spells in, both upgrades are going to windfury. Windfury was the MVP of that fight. No contest. Though with the two new spells, I put my eyes on two. Jet stream, and cloud step. I still liked the sound of thunder missile, but not until my aim with throwing gets better… which I could have just done, but I forgot about it. Next time I'll try to remember to look at that and grab thunder missile as my fifth spell. In the meantime these two will fill that gap.

Jet stream: A common spell, casting surrounds the caster in swift moving winds, making movements effortless and increasing speed for a short period of time.

Cloud step: A common spell, casting lightens the step of the caster, making them appear to be as light as a feather for a short period of time.

Now, jet stream, I realize, will likely make it so I don’t get into that same problem I did with all these pillars, having to dash between them over and over. At least for a short while. Would have made it much easier to deal with at the very least. Cloud step on the other hand will probably make my sneak skill much more effective if I really need it to, plus climbing quickly when you’re weightless will be a breeze. Pun intended. If I ever go back into that human town, that will be how I spend every ten seconds of my life, constantly recasting that.

As soon as my leveling was done, I took in a breath, thinking about jet stream before exhaling a breath. There was a whistle in the air as the winds started to pick up before immediately turning into a loud surging wind around my whole body. It sounded like I was falling from the stratosphere. I took a step forward and the speed wasn’t a massive superpower-like boost but running across the room I felt like I was moving at maybe twice the speed I was before, which is nothing to turn your nose up at. And counting the seconds as I ran from one side of the room to another it seemed to have a similar duration to windfury, five seconds. After the five seconds elapsed for it to recharge, I took in another breath and thought about cloud step.

This time felt different as I exhaled, where all the others were accompanied by loud rushing winds, this one was a gentle breeze, and with that breath it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, which technically it actually was the weight of my shoulders being lifted. It was peaceful, almost meditative in how relaxed I felt being weightless, so much so that I forgot to actually test it, as the weight came back to me five seconds later. I had to wait another five seconds to cast it again and actually try it out. I took a few steps, and it was clear I wasn’t completely weightless, I was still on the ground. I took a few steps and jumped and it was like I was on the moon. Landing with the quietest little pep of my palms against stone. It felt like I could backflip over mountains with this. Though it only lasts five seconds, so better not be caught in the air with it. Though alternatively I could use it to slow my fall if I were to fall from high up too… I wonder if I’m light enough to walk over water?

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I felt the breeze dissipate again as I stood in front of the faintly raised platform in the center of the room, spotting the keyhole in the floor. I looked down at the boss key I’d grabbed before and… it was gone. Great, it must have fallen out during the fight. I let out an involuntary ook of displeasure before padding back around the room looking for where it may have fallen. I searched around each of the skeletal bodies first, scampering about lifting torsos and legs to try and find the key. Though as I pushed one skeleton over, I spotted a small glass vial. It must be the item that the skeleton dropped earlier that I totally didn’t forget about until now. I held it up to look at it, a very thin little vial small enough to fit comfortably in my monkey hand, and inside was a yellowish orange liquid with flecks of shiny bits in it. Like a snow globe full of honey.

While this is no doubt valuable, I have no clue if it’s a potion meant to heal me, or a poison to use on my enemies. So I'll just have to tuck it away for now. Luckily, there is now room in my new pouch… Actually, I should be careful it doesn’t break, so I empty out the old pouch and place the gloves around the potion to give it come padding. Everything else goes into the old pouch again. No where was I… Oh! Right, the key. I continued searching around the room before coming to the point I’d tumbled on the floor, and spotted the key slid up against the base of one of the pillars.

I grabbed it, stepping over to the keyhole and pausing for a moment. Should I even put it in? Honestly, I don’t plan on going to fight the boss. I could barely handle the skeletons out here, much less that monster. I thought about it for a while, simply staring at the key in my palm as I recalled the fight with the adventurers. Swords, poison gas, a sphere of darkness, who knows what else he had up his sleeve. Still, I don’t have to open the door, I can just put the key in to make it appear so I can look at the door. I slotted the key into the hole and turned it, a loud rumble and shaking of the stone, a pale blue light illuminating the divisions in the stone as the door reappeared.

The carvings on the door looked like the sort of Greco-Roman style to it, like you see painted on those old vases, but not quite. It had those big swooping lines that made it almost look like a Greek artist and a Chinese artist were taking turns to make it. The door was divided down the middle by a river, and above were a number of farmers harvesting their crops and below looked like an army of skeletons reaching upwards. The humans were wearing long baggy clothes, with a basket on their backs and round cloth hats on their heads. They were kind of shaped like a pie on a plate, which now that I have realized, I cannot stop seeing. The skeletons on the other hand were all bare bones, but occasionally one would have a sword or spear. Makes me wonder what this is supposed to be a mural for. Like, is it religious? Is it a warning? Is it just supposed to scare you away?

I gave a slight shrug and looked up to the very top of the doorway, and saw carvings that looked like language, but there was no way I could read that, whatever it’s written in. I half hoped to get some sort of insight into who, if any, built this place, or who the boss is inside, but without the ability to read, I’m just out of luck on that front. A sharp breath in and one blown raspberry later, I shook my head, turning back to the exit door. I padded all the way back across the hall to the door and… it was closed. Now, on its own, that wouldn’t cause me any alarm, but I certainly didn’t close it. I approached slowly, carefully hopping up to try and open the door and peek out, but the door wouldn’t budge.

No… no you’re joking… my lips pursed, a pressure behind my eyes as I smacked my forehead against the door. It’s locked. If you unlock the boss door, the exit seals. Like some sort of airlock. Does that mean that this place is like some sort of prison for the boss rather than the other way around? That doesn’t bode well for if you lose this fight. Also, the adventurers walked right out, so I guess killing the boss is the only way to open the door… Wonderful. Icing on the cake. So I guess my only option now is to fight a dungeon boss, alone. A task that not only am I woefully under equipped for, but I am a freaking monkey. A challenge that took four seasoned adventurers, adventurers that I could not fight one of mind you, I have to take on… as a monkey with a knife.

I started to freak out a bit, debating internally on whether this was worse than getting snuck up on by the gigantic praying mantis. Probably so, considering I now have to actually fight it, so I’m just stuck here like a kid in front of the principal's office, waiting to get punished. I took a deep breath in, and a slow breath out. Keep calm. Think. At least this time I have the time to think up a plan.

When last I was here, the battle was quick and brutal, I thought back, trying to replay as much of the scene in my head as I could recall, letting my discern weakness skill get a fair enough bead on him that I could be a judge. I recalled that his levitation was slow and cumbersome, less like he was flying, and more like he had invisible wires holding him up. His blades looked like they would be really nasty if they hit but they’re also old and rusted, practically falling apart. I could maybe break them. Also his poison breath, it was a cloud of gas, so I should be able to just blow it away with bluster. Though for actually doing damage though, I’d need to get in close, and even then he doesn’t seem to have any weak points that I can tell. The only one I could have guessed would be the neck, which is covered by his lion mane.

I suppose I could try and climb him like I did the skeletons, but there’s no one to bait into shooting him, he is certainly both faster and more clever than the other skeletons. I can’t even really bait him into attacking and getting past his swords. He’ll just use the other one. My discern weakness isn’t really telling me much about actual weaknesses here this time. I don’t think it means he doesn’t have any, but maybe it’s not high enough of a level to work on him. I hope not, cause that means this skill is only really useful against weak monsters. At least until you presumably pour more points into it. I suppose my best bet as of right now is to use windfury again. Wait for an opening, cast it and try to go for a slash to the joints again.

I bit my tongue lightly, my mind bolting back and forth between different potential plans. Coming at it from different angles. Jumping at him, letting him come to me, feinting, going for an all out attack, trying to outlast him, trying to blitz him, trying to pretend I’m a stupid monkey, trying to disarm him, trying to steal his weapon to use myself. Every idea came in and flowed out like a river of bad ideas, all flowing down hill. I could tell none of them would work. If I tried any of them, I’d likely get chopped up faster than I could say Gimli son of Gloin.

I padded over to where the torch laid, though after all of that fighting, the leaves and resin were all torn away, leaving me with a slightly burnt smelling stick. Though I won’t knock it, it made a pretty decent club despite the fact that I’m really not strong enough to be swinging it around. Still, if I windfury this thing again, it might help me against those swords, if for nothing else, as a way to block them. I hefted the stick onto my shoulder, walking up to the door taking far longer than it should, but I was in no hurry to be marching to my impending doom. I pressed my forehead into the door, digging my feet in and trying to push it open. Though the doors were heavy stone slabs, likely weighing tons, they weren’t all too hard to open. I still had to dig in my heels (palms?) but the door did move, which I chalk up to magic.

As soon as the doors parted the theater came into view, the walls were smoothly carved stone, and the seats too were simply carved from the stone in a semicircle descending with each layer down to the stage. Above was a ceiling that was domed upwards, a number of scaffolds and wooden walkways. Which made me passively wonder if there was supposed to be a way to get up there. I looked around and didn’t see any sort of ladder or stairs. The walls were all carved smooth, so I doubt that you could even climb them. Normally I’d just discount it as impossible, but I did just get a spell to make me weightless. That said, there’s not much point to getting up there when he can just fly up after me.

Down on the platform below it was just like I remembered. A stage, with the sarcophagus in the center the outside of the sarcophagus depicting the still living form of the man entombed within. The art style of the carvings on the door I realize now was different from the style of the carving on the coffin. The door looked like some sort of mix of Greek and Chinese. The carving of the resident looks much more photorealist. Even from this distance away I can see the veins in the back of his hands where the swords folded across his chest. In the forearms you can see the muscles bunching up under the skin. I’ve never seen a sculpture this accurate before. But really now I’m just procrastinating, trying to waste as much time as I can to prolong the inevitable.

I took a moment, closing my eyes and taking one long breath in, filling my lungs until my chest wouldn’t swell any further and held that breath. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, practically loud enough for my friend in the coffin to hear. Then as the thumping slowed slightly, I released the breath, breathing out just as slow as I’d breathed it in. Ok, I’m chill. All I have to do is find an opening, an attack pattern, something exploitable, and abuse that. As soon as I figure that out, I’m good. Other than that, avoid bleeding and poison, as those have been my bane up to this point.

I stepped forward, up to the edge of the stage and tossed the torch up onto it first, grabbing onto the lip to climb up, I immediately heard the sound of shifting stone. I pulled myself up, quickly rooting around for the metal knife and letting it rest in my left hand while the right grabbed a hold of the torch. I watched the lid of the coffin slide away, and like a silent movie the desiccated body slowly rose up into the air, all of the fair features of the sculpted counterpart simply melted away. The face itself was a bald skull save for the strips of tendon that held his jaw to his cheek.

As he unfolded his arms, holding his curved rusted blades out to either side, I could see the simplicity of them. A handle with no fancy baubles or guards, just a grip and a curved blade, though those blades were more than half made of rust by now. He loomed over me, and I involuntarily swallowed my spit as it built up in the back of my throat. He looked down at me, mouth opening to speak before cocking his head slightly.

“Im hotei?” I could feel the confusion in his statement even without speaking the language. To which I felt the need to reply to him with an equally incomprehensible “Ook.” He hung there in the air for a long moment and I could feel his nonexistent eyes boring into me the entire time.

“Alt erak, hotei, mal dom shu she wan. Im reges. Im hou wei. Im domin pal gran.” I could tell he was addressing me as if I could understand him, which made me kind of feel bad that his entire speech was lost on me. Though as soon as he was done talking I got a notification ping from the system. Words fading into being, seemingly made of glowing orange metal straight out of a furnace, hanging above his head.

Mao; Monstrous king of Havoc

Ah, so it notifies you if you enter a boss battle. That’s good to know, but also, monstrous king of havoc isn’t a name you earn by being a very good dude. Maybe my speculation that this was a prison wasn't so unfounded after all. I clutched my torch as the words faded away, and he raised his swords to fight.

This has been a long day.