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Chapter 155: Off Kilter

Instinctively, Quinn knew she hadn't passed out. There were parts of her—muscles, blood vessels—everything felt like it was moving around, finding a new level of comfort. While she could sense her body, her extremities, everything within felt slightly displaced. It was as if her eyes had stopped processing information. It was strange inside her head, as if all time had slowed down.

Her body shifted.

Off kilter.

She couldn't quite pinpoint the sensation, but it was uncomfortable on one end and yet felt like she was coming home on the other.

System messages started flashing across her vision in her mind, as if she was seeing them inside her head.

Calibrating...

Calibrating...

Quinn didn't quite understand. She knew that when she tapped into the system originally and it was about to completely shut down, it required calibrating itself. She also knew that the Library wasn't actually a machine and thus, because she was quite literally a part of it, she wasn't one either.

Which was good, because otherwise seeing the messages in her mind, and not just in front of her vision could really have upset that tenuous belief. And knowing that didn't stop her from being quite scared about the fact that her own system, her own body... was currently calibrating something she'd done.

Something she didn't even understand how she'd done.

She pushed down on the rising panic and took a moment to mentally clarify herself, forcing herself to breath and assess her situation logically while separating herself from overwhelming immediate reactions. The skill would really have come in handy during exams back on Earth.

Calibrating...

Assessing...

New mental fortitude healing affinity established

Calculating...

Calibrating...

Refining...

Investigating...

Affinity 1723 has been established

Mental Chaotic Fortitude Abolition

Strength progress resumed

Please report to the library as soon as possible to verify and establish a line of advancement for this affinity.

Quinn would have blinked if she'd actually been present enough to do so. As it was, her inner eye, since that's what she was calling it, kept watching the words until they faded. A new affinity? That didn't make any sense. She just, well as usual when she pulled something out of thin air, simply acted on instinct. But it had happened and now she needed to deal with it.

Suddenly, a rush of cool air ran through her entire body and the whole shifting process stopped. It made the uneasiness halt and she felt more like herself again.

Finally, she blinked her eyes open.

Less time had passed than anticipated. She knew that because she wasn't passed out on the floor, but had merely stumbled against the bed with the Esposian she'd healed in it. Her bright blue eyes focused on Quinn and Quinn knew, maybe instinctively, that her name was Eugea. Probably not even instinctively, but because of the connection she'd established when she performed the healing.

Malakai and Lynx simply stared at her, agape.

The Esposian continued to study Quinn and Quinn took in her visage as well. She was no longer as transparent as she had been before. Her wings held a very faint green shimmer to them now that made her blue eyes all the brighter. There was a strange expression on her face, one of hope, one of confusion, and definitely some caution mixed in there. Like she didn't understand what Quinn had done.

Well, Quinn thought to herself, that definitely makes two of us. She wished she understood what she'd done far better than she did.

The Esposian didn't speak. Eugea seemed unaware of precisely what had happened or perhaps was still trying to feel out this new awareness. Tears still ran down her cheeks but they had slowed now. Some of them were drying, leaving saltiness behind on her skin.

Quinn swallowed. Eugea was younger than Quinn had expected. She could sense how shy and shocked she was. How simply shell-shocked she'd become after being healed. Frankly, everybody looked at her like that, including the two nurses who'd been in the room when they entered.

Quinn cleared her throat trying to cut through the tension. She wasn't entirely sure what to say or how to act after the whole thing. She could hear the voices of the nurses around her.

No.

It wasn't voices.

It was their thoughts.

They were loud and intrusive despite Quinn's copious shielding.

How did she do that?

What happened?

How is Eugea aware?

The voices around her were clamoring inside her head. Quinn could hear them no matter how much she didn't want to.

What did she do?

Who is she?

The litany continued until Quinn forcibly reinforced the surface of her mind to shut them out. But before she could, she'd gleaned enough to know that these nurses, these supposed caregivers were here to keep an eye on the patients, not to heal them. Not to help them regain what they'd lost. It made Quinn's hackles stand on end. She made sure to etch those Esposian caretakers into her mind so she wouldn't forget them.

Because she couldn't forgive this type of apathy.

"Well," Nishpa said, breaking the silence. "That was very interesting."

Geneva focused on Quinn. "Librarian, what did you just do? How did you know how to do that?"

Quinn half shrugged. "It just came to me." She wasn't entirely sure how much she should be giving away. The atmosphere around them wasn't friendly, and she wasn't about to let on that she'd had no clue what happened initially. That wasn't information anyone outside her inner circle should have. If that.

Malakai said nothing and Lynx, well, he was obviously in extremely deep conversation with the library because his eyes were doing that weird flickering thing. Not that she could blame him.

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Nishpa stood back contemplative. Malakai still hadn't said anything and Quinn was desperately trying to figure everything out. She couldn't decide if this was a good or a bad thing, that she'd lost enough control of her everything that her body had moved on its own and acted on some weird cosmicisodracus freaking instinct that allowed her to exert power and attempt to heal somebody. Which turned out fine this time, but what if it hadn't?

Don't let them know you didn't purposefully heal her. Lynx's voice said over the top of her mind.

Am I being loud? For a second Quinn worried that she was broadcasting her thoughts. She thought she'd got a handle on that.

No, but your face is full of shock and horror and it's probably not the best that these people see you in that state of mind.

Oh, Quinn said, realizing he was likely spot-on with that.

Anyway, I know you don't know how you did that, but please know that your affinity with the library and literally every affinity isn't going to react in a way that will harm anybody if you're trying to heal them.

Quinn glanced at him. Are you sure you can't hear my thoughts?

I'm used to your moods and your facial expressions. The latter of which is usually very plain to see by the way. At least for me.

Thanks, Lynx. Quinn sighed. How did she have a healing proclivity now? Healing others? She'd absorbed all of like, what, two or three healing books? All beginners? Then again, this did mention a chaotic element, so maybe that was part of it.

Still, Eugea wiped away the rest of the tears and looked up at Quinn as if she'd pulled herself back together. So maybe it was worth it all.

The newly healed Esposian motioned for Quinn to come closer and then whispered. "You need to, you need to be careful. The others aren't open to help right now. I was. I wasn't lost in despair, but the rest of them are. I was desperately trying to climb out. That's why you could help me.

"Well, maybe if I can repeat it..." Quinn trailed off at the look in the girl's eyes.

Eugea's jaw was set, and she quivered ever so slightly. Fear shone out of her gaze, but tempered by an odd note of determination. "No. I don't think it's wise to try and help them right now. It probably wasn't wise to help me in the first place."

"Can you explain that to me?" Quinn asked. She glanced around furtively, but the nurses were checking the other patients. They were probably put off by Quinn and her group standing so closely around Eugea, but she wouldn't put it past them to have already begun a gossip chain.

Healing shouldn't be a bad thing, but Quinn got the feeling that shouldn't have healed Eugea yet. She should have done it and then fled the world surreptitiously and all. So she pressed a little harder than she perhaps would have usually. "I need you to make me understand what you mean when you say I shouldn't heal the others," Quinn said, keeping her voice as soft as possible.

"I don't think you can," Eugea whispered. "I think I was ripe. They’re all lost in there, but my state of mind was desperate to escape the nothingness."

"They're stuck in nothingness?" Quinn asked.

"In a manner of speaking, it's a lonely, sad place. It's broken. The world doesn't float. It's not synchronized and you have to run or you get gobbled up." Eugea shivered. "It's a nightmare. It's like a continuous, circular, never-ending nightmare. It's horrific. I could barely sense the outside world and that was with pushing so hard I cried with the pain. Trying to will my way out was pure torment. I wouldn't even wish it on somebody I hated."

Quinn watched tears trickle down Eugea's face again, the way her eyes blinked like a blue bottomless sea. "It's okay. I understand."

"You don't. They're going to come and fetch me. I'm... I'm sure of it." She glanced around furtively. "I'm still supposed to be in there."

On impulse, even though she was quite sure of the answer, Quinn asked. "Do you have mana?"

"Of course I have mana. I'm an Esposian. I have 47 affinities," the tiny Fae said proudly.

"Great. Take this." Quinn gave her one of the door openers just in case, shoving it into her small hand and closing Eugea's fingers around it as if she was just consoling her. "If you need to. Even if they lock you out. You can get to us."

Eugea's already big blue eyes opened impossibly wider. She nodded her head and suddenly the door opener was gone from her hands. Quinn was relieved to know that she must have some sort of subspace storage in her possession.

"Will that help?"

"Maybe. I should be able to retrieve it in time if something happens." There was a sliver of hope in Eugea's voice.

"Could you pretend that this was all..."

But Eugea shook her head. "No. They test us, too. Intricately." She paused for a moment, a wave of pain coming over her face before it vanished. "We were aware of everything done to us from the outside, you know. It's..." Eugea shrugged and splayed her hands out to the side.

"Are you serious?" Quinn said, settling onto the bed right next to the other Fae.

Eugea nodded solemnly. "You weren't bad. You were really trying to help. I could sense that. There are others who have not been so kind."

"We have to save them, Quinn." Geneva hovered close to them, her face drawn and pinched with worry.

"I can't just step in and take people away," Quinn said.

Nishpa harrumphed off to the side. "Well, I'll see what we can do, but this was very bad timing."

Quinn sighed. "I'm realizing this now. Let's just double-check that you're really gonna be okay," she added as soothingly as she could.

Eugea nodded.

"How do you feel?" Quinn asked, loud enough for the nurses to hear.

"I'm okay. I 'm very tired," Eugea said, making a show of a yawn.

Quinn managed not to cringe at the fact that Eugea was a pretty bad actress. Still, hopefully it'd be enough for the nurses to run with. "I'm glad we could wake you up. I don't seem to be able to wake anybody else up. I think you probably were just about ready, right?"

Eugea nodded very emphatically, actually. "I'm just lucky you were here," she said.

Quinn suppressed a groan, and Malakai stepped in. "I've seen this before," he said, drawing the words out. "Happens sometimes when darigháhnish are shocked into a catatonic state by a magic spell. Occasionally, just the very presence of someone can trigger the release." He said it in such a way that it sounded utterly like the truth, and if Quinn hadn't been aware that he was bullshitting, even she would have believed him.

She nodded as if deep in thought, like she was agreeing with every word he said. Even though she was a hundred percent certain it wouldn’t do any good. It was worth a try to attempt to reinforce what he said.

She glanced at Nishpa, who shrugged, and she looked at Geneva. Is there anyone we can trust to watch over her? Quinn said, directing her mind speech to all of the people with her. Nishpa shrugged, but Geneva hesitated.

There is... one nurse I would... trust, she said haltingly over the mind speech connection.

How far would you trust them?

Farther than I could throw them, Geneva said with a very slight laugh.

Quinn was happy to see she'd begun rubbing off on people. Well, if you can trust them that much, they may be worth a shot.

I'll get them. You stay here with Eugea until I come back shortly. And Geneva left the room.

The shortly ended up being fifteen excruciating minutes while Quinn sat with Eugea and Nishpa. Lynx was back in connection with the Library, his eyes flickering ominously. Malakai leaned up against the wall, his lips pursed, observing everything.

Quinn knew him well enough to know that he was on guard. As jovial as he might always be around her, as much of a friend and close confidant as held become, he was still her guard and her trainer. He was ready to fight any threat at any possible moment, and Quinn had a horrible feeling he'd get to do just that before they left this world.

Geneva returned, followed by another Esposian Fae, except her color was brighter, not so transparent. Quinn raised an eyebrow. "This is my cousin, Galetta. She will watch over Eugea."

"Your cousin?" Quinn glanced at Nishpa, who raised an eyebrow.

"She has more than one auntie," Nishpa said. "This is another one of my nieces. Galetta, you make sure you take care of this young lady," Nishpa dropped her voice in volume when she spoke. "This is vital. If she needs to go, you must help her."

Galetta nodded very solemnly.

"We can't wait any longer, Quinn." Nishpa poured exasperation into her tone as she made sure the whole room could hear. "We were expected about half an hour ago." And then her voice dipped into the surface of Quinn's mind. I wanted you to see them, see what handiwork had been done so you could maintain your resolve when we went and met the Prime Minister. I didn't think you'd heal one of them like you were working a miracle.

"Sorry for the delay." Quinn grimaced, and added Do you think they've heard?

Oh, Quinn, I think they've more than heard, Nishpa said, and motioned for them to follow her.

Even as they all trailed after the regal Furionas Fae, Quinn couldn't help the sinking sensation she felt in the pit of her stomach.

Eyes watched their every movement, ears probably heard almost every word.

They were not among friends here.