Liana got the feeling they'd been locked up for far too long now in their dark cell. How long had their incarceration in this strange closed-off space even lasted? Hours? Days? Weeks? She turned her smartphone on, which indicated that it was 4:23 in the morning. But from what day? And what did that mean after at least 2 days on a 28-hour day rhythm? And did the time of this world even match that of her own world and Nuanderra, or was it really like the stories where you spend one hour in the fairy world and then come back a hundred years later?
The silence and the emptiness of the universe around them was becoming too much. A sense of irritation that had been building for a long time came to the surface. “It's so clear here, so cut off from everything. I've never been so locked up, but I've also never been able to concentrate like that." she muttered, to no one in particular. She really hated this place. She hated being locked up. She hated being captive. She hated being always alone, always being the stranger, always being misunderstood. She was in another world now, with people who weren't even of her own kind, and yet they understood her better than most humans -except for probably Joris- had ever done. And that wasn't right. In fact, her whole life had been like a light-version of this prison. She had always been the wrong person in the wrong place, who didn't know what she was doing, who always had the wrong talents, who always stood outside.
For a moment she almost agreed with those who wanted to exterminate her species - all of them except for Joris-, and then she turned her anger against her opponents. What did they think they were doing? As if she didn't have enough problems already. As if her planet didn't have enough problems already. She thought of starving children on the news, victims of war, a sea full of plastic; a lone orangutan in a palm oil plantation. THERE ARE ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY! Her own life seemed like a microcosm of her world, teased, trampled, ignored, and doomed. And she was tired of it! She was angry! Something had to be done.
Her head suddenly felt very light, and she suddenly felt she could handle anything. The tension piling up inside her seemed almost tangible now, both that of her situation in Kavanderra right now and the frustrations of a lifetime that had never been released. “I hate it here!” She screamed and stood up. "ENOUGH!!" she shouted. All the anger that had built up seemed to shoot out of her in the form of physical shock waves that pounded against everything in the room that wasn't a person. All the accumulated tension came out now. Frustration and anger seemed to materialise into black clouds of miasma darting away from her, and the tension was still building.
Something started to flicker in the walls. Sparks flew from the device that she had suspected to be a camera. “I HATE IT” she screamed with all her might. Everything started to crackle and blink around her. Lun and Inaya, both awake now, put their hands to their faces. A high-pitched beep appeared briefly from a round black object next to the camera, then everything fell away and they were in pitch darkness, in complete silence again.
Had she done that? Liana felt the anger drain from her. She felt her heartbeat come back slowly, and she felt her breath slow down. No one dared to say anything for a long time.
Suddenly she dropped to her knees, and then she fell to the ground. Inaya tucked under her to hold her. She was exhausted and tired of existence, tired of all the flaws in the fabric of the cosmos that made so many victims. Tired of the powers that made people enemies of each other in her world, or humans and Drotnira and Nummerfa and whatever other creatures there were. Couldn't they all just be friends now? Like her and Joris? Like her and Inaya? Like Inaya and the birds she'd never seen before the day she spoke to them? Like children can sometimes do on a playground where they don't know anyone, and still make friends right away? Just friendship? Why was that impossible? Why was it always the same fight, from the epic of Gilgamesh to the Anime series she followed on the internet? Why always hatred and destruction, even across the worlds themselves? Why?
She cried.
She wept for herself and for what had been done to her. But also for everything else. For the children who didn't find friends on the playground. For the children who were starving in distant lands because of selfish politicians who kept arguing over money and oil. For the last dolphin in an empty sea. Because of the hatred within the people that turned them into monsters who deceived each other, destroyed each other, saw each other as less than human and not worthy of life. Because of the hatred that was now also present in the Nummerfa and other beings. Perhaps because of the devil himself, if there was one. Why did it have to happen?
Inaya said nothing, and quietly stroked her hair. There was nothing to say now. Everything was darker than dark now. Liana felt Inaya's warm arms around her, and Lun's calm presence next to her made her feel at ease now.
The silence seemed to answer that there was no answer as to why. Only the invitation to be an answer yourself where possible. To embody love and friendship, and to refuse to join the pathetic spiral of hatred. Even if it is impossible for one person to carry the world on your back. Even if you can only do a few small things as a tiny person in the little corner of the worlds where you are. Yet that was the only answer she found. Fighting the urge to participate in the darkness. Against the virus of hatred and violence that continued to colonise and poison the worlds, transforming its victims from within into new hosts who spread it, in ever new guises. “Evil must not be answered with evil,” she thought. Who had said that? A philosopher? A religious figure? It didn't matter, it was the only truth she could see. He who fights monsters should watch out not to become a monster himself. That quote from Nietzsche was on a poster on her wall. Now she knew what it meant.
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She had gazed into the abyss and the abyss had gazed back into her soul, and she had to hold on to the light now, even though everything was dark. She had to hold on to love, even if there was only hate, or worse, the indifference she had so often encountered. She had to hold on to life even if death took over the whole world, or all the worlds. Nothing else could ever make sense. Slowly her thoughts came to a halt, and she just was. She felt Inaya and Lun's friendship. And she said nothing and nothing was said by anyone for a long time, until Lun broke the silence.
“What in the name of Al-Elyehdinn have you just done, old world girl?” Liana didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell them what had happened inside her. The fact that all electronics had failed due to her energy burst seemed only incidental to her now, after the experience she had had afterwards. "I don't know." She mumbled after a while, with an incredulous look on her face that no one could see but surely was felt by Inaya in her own way.
“Did I really do that? Me?" She was a little embarrassed.” “Yes, you, with your anger and your focus. Accumulated anger of a lifetime. Of several lives even, or at least a faint imprint of that of the soul of your world itself, of all worlds maybe even if that’s possible. Focused on our prison.” Inaya said. "That’s complete nonsense." Liana said. "It isn’t. All the accumulated anger that you were building up has been released, and when it left your body your hatred towards this room and what it represented was so strong that your focused energy completely blew away the tech of this prison.” explained Inaya. "That is not possible. That's magic!" stammered Liana. “What you call magic is a normal part of our world, just like science and technology are, and really inseparable from the two even. To a yam-healer they overlap and there is no difference.” Lun explained. “But I am human. Not a superhero with special superpowers.” Liana protested. Inaya chuckled when she said that. “Humans are just nawa like all of us. Everyone has gifts and talents, and we are all made of the same matter and energy, although my own species sometimes have a different place and relationship to those things.” said Inaya. “But that doesn't mean it's a good idea. What you have done was to throw out and channel your negative energy in a destructive way. That's the most primitive form of what you'd call magic, and usually not really constructive. But every now and then it can be useful…” she added.
Liana felt uneasy. "You mean like in black magic?"
Her voice sounded uncertain. “It could be like that if you want to learn to use those powers in such a way. But do not worry. This was a one-time discharge, and your will was not to get involved in the destruction that ensued. You just wanted to get rid of all the anger. But hey, if you consciously start doing things like this, you could eventually have what you would call black magic." said Inaya. “And you said I was on the right side? I unknowingly do black magic and stuff…” Liana stammered, still a bit shocked at what she'd done. “Now stop panicking, Liana.” Inaya said calmly, still holding her. “It's about your heart. It's about your motives. You are afraid of black magic now because it is taboo in your world, but the same is the case with dark science and technology here. All the powers that we have at our disposal as nawa are dangerous, and can be used for both 'black' and 'white'. The atomic bomb as you call it, or the weapons with which the Kavanderrans depopulated their world, were not magic, but as bad as the worst curse that a wizard can use. And the healing hands of a yam healer may be magic in your worldview, but they are just as useful for healing as your doctor's medicines. It's about your heart, and what path you follow. Although there are forces that are not healthy for anyone.” said Inaya.
"What do you mean?" asked Liana. “Actually, it's simpler than that even. The power to destroy or impose someone's will is already too dangerous a responsibility, even for us. Power itself is the greatest temptation, corrupting everyone from the point where it becomes a goal in itself.” Liana thought of dictators, of Frodo's ring, of stories of ordinary people who went mad when they came to power. "I'm glad that that kind of temptation doesn't mean much to me." She said, “You are indeed still quite innocent in that regard.” “But everyone will have their own temptations. And beware, temptations can come in very subtle ways when you don't expect them.” Inaya noted.
All three were silent for a moment. Suddenly Liana had an idea. If she had destroyed all the machines in this room, the lock might have been open by now. How she hadn't thought of that before! She started grabbing like crazy, and yes, she felt that there was a piece of wall that was a little loose. "Come on, help me, and maybe we can get this thing open." The three of them pulled, and suddenly they managed to open the door.
Artificial light filled the space and the pressure of a world of energy and presence of people came back into Liana's head. But she didn't have much time to adjust her senses. In front of them stood the two Nummerfil guards who had locked them up, still with their weapons in their hands, and they were now supplemented by a group of heavily armed human-looking people in camouflage suits and an STC badge.