What have I done?

  Heather sniffled, rubbing her eyes as Paul looked down at her with concern. Her tears had mostly dried, her hand clenching Jamie’s in a death grip as she struggled to rip herself away from the whirlpool of her thoughts.

  I’m such a mess, I need–

  They don’t need me weighing them d–

  I shouldn’t even be–

  Without me, they wouldn’t n–

  SHUT UP. Taking a deep breath, she forcefully activated LIGHTNING throughout her body, blasting away at her nerves as she pushed her magic to its limit. Her vision tinged with red, rage coursing through her veins, she let her magic cycle through her torso down into her legs, letting it tear the limbs apart. It was gruesome, agonizing, and bloody—but more importantly, it let her clear her head.

  With a sigh, she let her magic fade, time speeding back up as the gore from her legs splattered against her companions. Only a small flinch from both showed their discomfort, which was a testament to just how normal this type of thing had become for their party.

  And wasn’t that a sad thing.

  Her emotions and feelings faded away, leaving behind the cold pragmatic logic that helped guide her actions. Although she was currently incapable of feeling relief, it’s what she would’ve felt if she could. Her mind felt clearer than it had all week.

  “I have a problem,” she said. Her voice was flat, monotone. “I’m losing my grasp on BERSERKER, and I have reason to suspect that I’m emotionally compromised.”

  Jamie mumbled something under her breath, most likely a curse that the system filtered out. Her green eyes blazed with emotion.

  “How long has this been going on? How did I not notice?”

  Heather somehow managed to make even her sigh sound toneless. “Almost a year, I think. I didn’t notice it until this past week, and I only now have the clarity to put the pieces together.”

  Something that sounded suspiciously like “fork, stick,” and some other gibberish spewed from Jamie’s mouth, and Heather made sure to remember it for later. She’d laugh at it when her emotions returned.

  With her newfound clarity, she realized that she’d managed to brush over some obvious signs of this without noticing. She turned towards Paul, and he raised an eyebrow.

  “I suspected this,” she started. “I've felt... strange for a while, and I'd started to notice that I might be causing an insanity debuff. But I only just now realized that you were affected by it. I’m sorry.”

  “I was? What’re you…”

  “Right after Floor 10. When we talked about this whole mess.”

  His mouth clamped shut, his gaze hardening. She had briefly transitioned to her BERSERKER side while describing how both BERSERKER and DARK DRUID functioned to Paul. It was right after the Floor 10 boss fight, and she’d been running high on fear and anger and pain at the time.

  “…Yeah. I remember that. Tried to forget about it. The things I saw…” He shuddered. “I don’t wanna go through that again.”

  “I can understand,” she replied. “I remember seeing you shaking in fear before I managed to reign it back. I didn’t know about the insanity debuff at the time.”

  “What made you figure it out?” Jamie asked, her voice conveying false curiosity, and Heather shrugged.

  “I realized I was starting to taste emotions. It made me think about how my own emotions could affect other players, and I theorized that BERSERKER could possibly weaponize them. I wasn’t sure, but this confirmed it.”

  With a sigh, Jamie’s shoulders fell. The fire in her eyes died, leaving behind a harshness that clashed with her usual passionate nature.

  Pfft, I can’t belief she said tha- oh no.

  “I’m losing control again. My emotions are coming back.”

  “Is… is that a bad thing?” Paul asked, and she nodded sharply, turning towards him. He squirmed under her soulless gaze.

  “Yes. I never was a very emotional individual, so these past couple of years have been uniquely difficult. BERSERKER also heightens everything I feel to an absurd degree, sometimes inserting thoughts into my head that aren’t my own. Mostly thoughts of inadequacy and the like, but there are others. It can be–”

  She groaned, wincing as a sharp pain stabbed through her skull. “I don’t have much time, but I need to warn you. I’m becoming less and less myself. If this continues… I don’t know what’ll happen.”

  Her head snapped to the side.

  “Jamie!” Her friend jumped to attention, her back straightening. “If I lose control at any point, force me into a spar. I’ll need to use LIGHTNING and will revert back to my current state.”

  Jamie nodded, although her eyes looked sad. Heather turned back to Paul, ruthlessly shoving her emotions back as they tried to claw their way out. A trickle of blood dribbled from her nose.

  “Paul… you got a glimpse. Just a glimpse. But it’s so much worse. Those images you saw, the ones I planted in your brain, those come from me. They’re my own pain, my own experiences.”

  He gulped, his face turning unnaturally pale. Tears blurred her vision as Sadness managed to snap back into place, and she forced herself to work past her suddenly wobbly lips.

  “I repress it, I ignore it, but I can’t do that forever.” Terror locked in beside Sadness. “I’ll snap if this keeps up, and I need help.” Next came Fear. “Please, help me, I- I can’t…”

  She choked on her words as a raging storm of thoughts and feelings broke through her mental walls, her body shuddering and twitching as it remembered how to feel again. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as she finally registered the pain of her legs stitching themselves back together.

  “Ah! OW! FLIP!” It wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever felt, but after having relief from her near constant chronic pain (if only for a moment), she needed some time to adjust. By the time she recovered, other players had started filtering into the training room and were looking at her weirdly. She flashed them a pained smirk, and most of them turned away.

  “You back, H?” Jamie asked quietly, and Heather nodded.

  “Yeah. Sorry about all that. I… wanted ta get it off my chest while I still could.” Even now, she could feel her thoughts beginning to drift, a fog settling over her mind as her emotions warred within her chest. Growling, she forced herself to her feet, Jamie and Paul helping her stand.

  Her legs were mostly healed by now, and she was well enough to walk, so she stumbled over to a secluded area of the COLOSSEUM that most people didn’t know about. It was a small alcove hidden underneath a large set of stairs, and Heather grunted as she forced herself to squeeze between the edge of the staircase and the wall, shoving her way through the narrow gap. There was a reason the alcove was relatively unknown.

  The moment she found the old, ratty blanket laying on the ground, she collapsed on it and bundled herself up like a burrito. She heard Jamie giggle softly and turned to glare at her, although there was no real heat behind it.

  They all talked and ate some of their rations, making plans for the next few trials in the COLOSSEUM. Any conversation about Heather’s new revelations with her BERSERKER CLASS were avoided entirely, which she appreciated. She was still reeling after the realizations that she’d made.

  They'd need to discuss it eventually, but she just... didn't want to talk about it yet. It was too soon, too fresh. She needed a day or two to recover from what she'd learned.

  “Hey guys… I’m feeling drained,” Heather eventually said, trying to cover up a rather large yawn. It didn’t work. “Mind if I call it a night?”

  Jamie and Paul shared a look, and Heather watched as they seemed to have a silent conversation. After a moment, Jamie turned back to Heather as Paul started rummaging through his inventory, her eyes soft as smooth grass.

  “No problem! That should be…” She paused, glancing down at her clenched fists. Her bad arm must've already finished healing. Taking a deep breath, she sighed, releasing most of the tension from her body.

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

  “H… I want you to know that I’ll follow you through thick and thin, alright?” Jamie whispered. “Whatever happens, we’re in this together. Doesn’t matter if Paul sticks around or not, or whatever we both may end up turning into, or… yeah. Just… remember that, okay? We’re a team, the two of us, and that’s never gonna change.”

  A sudden surge of affection for her friend rose in Heather’s chest, her face breaking into a wobbly smile as her eyes welled with tears. She lunged forward, managing to untangle herself from her blanket burrito and wrapping Jamie in a tight hug. Jamie went still, surprised, but returned Heather’s show of affection almost immediately.

  “Thank you,” Heather whispered. She had the most amazing friends. “I love ya, sis.”

  Jamie chuckled wetly. “Love ya too, H. Now get some rest. Paul and I’ll take care of things, so don’t worry about it.”

  She pulled away, her own eyes nearly as wet as Heather’s. Before she left, though, Heather just barely managed to glimpse the violet flecks that had begun overtaking Jamie’s soft green eyes.

  Something clicked, and Heather suddenly felt cold. I’m not the only one struggling with this, am I? This whole time, Jamie…

  Shame threatened to tear her apart, but she shoved it aside. That shame was contrived. It didn’t originate from her, but from something else.

  BERSERKER. Wrapping herself up in her blanket again, she let her thoughts wander. Now that she was taking the time to think, certain things about her actions were inconsistent with what she knew about herself.

  All the self-deprecating thoughts, the lack of self-worth? The confusion, near suicidal tendencies, the constant fear of failure, the feeling of worthlessness? None of that was her, none of it.

  She gave her everything into anything that she did, pushing past the point of failure to achieve success time and time again. Back in school, and even in Leveled Plane, she was extremely determined and driven. Homework was never late, grades were always high, and she’d successfully killed herself thousands of times for a chance at controlling her magic.

  So where was that drive? That quiet confidence that kept her going through every situation?

  Closing her eyes, she pressed her face against the ground and groaned. BERSERKER had changed her more than she’d originally expected. Still, it was only over the past week or so that things really…

  How did I- it’s so obvious! LEVELS! She really, really wanted to hit something, but her muscles were lethargic, and she didn’t really feel like getting up. But still, how had they missed this?

  As LEVELS increased, so too did a player’s affinity towards their magic and CLASS. The memory of Jamie explaining the exact mechanics was foggy, half because she was tired and half because the conversation happened a few months ago, but she remembered enough.

  As she kept increasing her LEVEL, BERSERKER must’ve continued altering her psyche, adding thoughts and feelings that clashed with her normal personality. It was a wonder that she hadn’t noticed it until now.

  Her breathing slowed, evening out as she felt her body relax. I’ll… worry about it in… the… morning…

  Heather woke gasping, sweat coating her body. Her heart pounded frantically in the darkness, the still night air pressing in around her ominously.

  A CORPSE. A WALKING CORPSE.

  Deep breaths, slow and steady. It did nothing, her chest and lungs aching from the lack of oxygen.

  MADNESS LURKS BENEATH YOUR FLESH.

  Shut up shutupshutupshutup-

  Laughter danced around her, and she hugged her chest, still trying to force her breathing under control. It’s all a dream, stop worrying about everything so much, just pull–

  A drEAmMM!?? The voice roared out from the black, crackling with static and distorting the darkness around her. She screamed, her hands grasping the sides of her head as blood trickled from her ears and eyes and mouth and and–

  More laughter came from her left, then her right, then from below. Her head felt like it was being cooked in an oven, a burning, searing pain lancing through it. Her thoughts splintered at the seams, and she lost all control.

  OH, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE SUCH A FUN PLAYMATE. I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET AGAIN, OH CORRUPTED, SHATTERED ONE.

  Something wrapped around her stomach, warm and tight, and Heather’s mind snapped back into place. She thrashed against her bonds, screaming, sobbing, struggling to get away from that monster–

  “H, H, shhh.” The soft words brushed over her thoughts, but they only made her thrash harder. “I got you, H, it’s okay.”

  “Let me go lemme go lemmego–”

  “Calm. Down. Breathe. In and out. Like this, alright?” Her bonds slowly loosened and tightened at regular intervals, and Heather found her chest rising and falling to the rhythm. Her breathing slowed, her racing thoughts calming down as her thrashing began to subside.

  Eventually, her thoughts were clear again. The darkness was no longer oppressive, only soft and calming. Two glowing green orbs were staring into her own, piercing her.

  “Heh, you back, sis?” Heather let out a sob, her body having subconsciously activated LIGHTNING during her panic attack, giving her a wonderful view of Jamie’s battered and bruised form.

  Cuts and scratches lined her friend’s face, each one bleeding profusely. Her left cheek was swollen and bruised a dark blue, and her torso and limbs were just as bad. Heather’s fingernails were coated in wet blood from where she’d tried to rip Jamie’s skin off.

  “Oh God, I… I’m sorry…” Heather barely managed to force the words out past her sobbing, Jamie pulling her close and whispering soothing words in her ear. Heather just clung to her friend as she broke to pieces, Jamie’s presence the only thing keeping her afloat.

  Heather’s sobs turned to hiccups, which turned to sniffles. Jamie stopped whispering in her ear, drawing back slightly so Heather could look at her face.

  “That better?” Jamie was all smiles, even with her open wounds, and Heather fought to hold back her tears again.

  “Y- yeah, think so…”

  “Good,” Jamie sighed, obviously relieved. Then she winced, her hands pulling away so she could run them along her bloody cheeks. She seemed surprised when she saw the blood.

  “Seems ya got me good, didn’t ya?”

  “I’m sorry,” Heather whispered back, guilt clawing at her heart. The taste of tomato sauce and cookies hit her tongue, almost making her gag. At least it told her that Jamie didn’t hold any hard feelings.

  “S’alright, but… you good? That was a bad one.” Heather’s mind flashed back to what she’d just seen, and the darkness suddenly became much more sinister. She swore she could hear laughter and static swimming nearby, and she shuddered.

  “I… no. I’m not. That one was bad.” Her friend waited patiently for her to continue, staying quiet. Shifting slightly, Heather deactivated LIGHTNING, noticing the drain it was putting on her magic reserves.

  “I had a… nightmare, I think. Maybe? The Floor 10 boss was back.” She felt Jamie’s shudder, a small whimper leaving her mouth, and Heather didn’t blame her.

  “It spoke to me again, and it just got to be… too much. I- I can’t-”

  “Stop,” Jamie commanded, and her mouth slammed shut. “I’ve heard all I need to know, alright? Don’t push yourself.”

  Heather sighed, nodding reluctantly. She understood where Jamie was coming from, she really did, but there was something that kept pulling at her conscience. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong for a long time.

  “I think… in the ABYSS…” She trailed off, but from the way that Jamie’s eyes seemed to harden, Heather knew she understood.

  “We’ll deal with that when it happens. Let’s just focus on the now, alright?”

  “…Alright.” Heather was hesitant to drop the subject, but figured it was probably for the best. They were both far too exhausted to approach this topic with the seriousness that it required.

  “Should we tell Paul about this?” Heather asked as Jamie was making her way out from under the stairs, causing her to pause. Jamie’s shoulders tensed, then fell. Her black silhouette was framed by the dim lighting from the hallway.

  “I think we should,” she whispered. “We’ve kept too much from him already. I dunno about you, but I actually wanna keep him around if we can. Don’t wanna drive him off.”

  Heather gave a slow nod in response, but Jamie had already vanished. She was probably going to the showers to clean up the scratches before they scabbed over. They'd heal just fine, but the blood was a pain to wash off if it dried. Heather's own fingernails weren't bloody enough to warrant a shower.

  Without Jamie, Heather let her mind drift back towards the dream she’d just had, feeling her heart seize with fear once again. The darkness turned black, any semblance of light vanishing as the dark pressed against her bare skin.

  Goosebumps formed on her arms as the haunting laughter started up again, reverberating within her skull so that she had no idea where it was coming from. Whispers assailed her ears, too quiet to understand but loud enough to be heard. It sounded like thousands of voices were trying to get her attention, and it took everything that she had to hold herself together.

  This isn’t real. She lay back down on her blanket, closing her eyes as she tried to go back to sleep. But the voices only became louder, causing a pounding headache.

  The one that brok–

  Help me HELPMEHEL–

  Fire and Air and Water and FirREe–

  “BE QUIET!” she shrieked, and they stopped. Then they laughed, cruel and broken and overlaid with tWIstEd STatIc–

  Little One, you have yet to grasp the gift you’ve been given. Too many mental walls. Hm. We’ll just need to shatter them so that–

  The little ball of fire in her chest surged for a moment, and she heard shrieks and moans from the voices as the flame consumed them. Heather shuddered, feeling cold fingers trail down her spine as she felt something lodge itself beside her tiny, imaginary flame.

  A coiling, pulsing ball of darkness now rested in her chest, the voices screeching as they pounded against the walls of their cage. But the ball held, the darkness shifting and morphing to better hold the voices inside.

  I… I can’t take this anymore! Cradling her head in her hands, Heather wept, rocking her body back and forth. Subconsciously, she’d known something felt weird, but she’d suppressed the feeling, praying that she was only being paranoid. She now knew that she had been lying to herself.

  How much have I been suppressing? The voices roared in her ears, louder than ever, and she ruthlessly crushed them back into their ball of darkness with a wail of pain. Blood trickled from her nose. A sudden light shined against her closed eyes, and she cracked them open to see what was trying to get her attention.

  CONGRATULATIONS! THE TITLE “SHATTERED” HAS NOW EVOLVED INTO THE UNIQUE TITLE “SHATTERED ONE.” PRESS HERE TO READ MORE.

  Uh... thanks, system? Dread pooled in her gut, but Heather pressed the “READ MORE” option anyways, praying that it was something simple. That dread turned into terror the moment she saw the traits of her new TITLE.

  SHATTERED ONE: USER IS PERMANENTLY CONNECTED TO THE ABYSS AND CAN HEAR THE SONG OF THE DECEASED. ALL STATS RECEIVE A 2% INCREASE WHILE THE TITLE IS ACTIVATED. USER GAINS THE INSANITY DEBUFF WHILE THE TITLE IS ACTIVATED.

  She wanted to scream, cry, anything, but she just felt numb. Of course the system would throw a wrench in her plans. Nothing could ever be too easy, could it?

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she dry heaved as her mind spiraled. She couldn’t deactivate the TITLE in Realistic Mode. The system wouldn’t let her.

  Coughing and choking, tears blurring her vision, she felt her stomach rebel as her dinner landed on the ground next to her blanket. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she sighed, resolving herself to cleaning up her mess as the voices vied for her attention again.

  She never managed to fall back asleep that night.