This must be... The Void. Where all is connected, yet where no place ever meets. The area between realms, planets, molecules.
Hello darkness, my old friend.
Nah, i'm just kidding. I have no idea where the hell I am. Maybe I should have a useless monologue, like all those protagonists, who, in the end... get together with a sexy lady... and smash... which will never happen to me, considering i might no exist anymore. Who knows, though? As Socrates said, "I think therefore I am."
Was it Socrates? I tend to forget these things. Even if you have trained your memory from a young age, I guess it's hard to remember trivial things, huh.
So, onto that monologue.
I woke up after being horribly brutalized by an unknown being of unfathomable power, only to see myself staring into a never ending dark expanse. It was quite painful, if I must say(or think), being smashed by multiple objects protruding from the ground.
Continuing to stare into this abyss, I wait for something to stare back. Waiting for some response in this never ending, horrible realm. Nothing greets me, especially not the warmth and satisfaction that comes with seeing the light. However, i have grown used to this darkness. I was born in it, raised in it, never leaaving the path of the chuuni.
Aaaaand, that got boring really quickly. Maybe, if I lay here~, if I just lay here~. Sorry, went a bit off track with that one. I can't even 'lay', or get laid, for that matter...
Man, I am really childish. Probably because I was a twelve year old just two years ago. No, it could never be that.
So, time to... relieve my boredom. Somehow. Who knows? Maybe this is fantasy. Sometimes, the most unexpected things are the outcome. Like, hmm... Status!
It... didn't work? Wow. That was... actually unexpected. I guess it is true that sometimes the most unexpected thing is the outcome. Since, obviously, just willing the status into existence would be impo-
Status Name: Who Cares? Race: Undefined Level: -1 Experience: 0/0.000001 Gender: None Age: undefined Titles Deceased Health Undefined Strength 0 Vitality 0 Agility 0 Dexterity 0 Classes Stamina Undefined Intelligence 0 Wisdom 0 Perception 0 Charisma 0 None Mana Undefined Crit Rate Undefined Passive effects Status Ailments N/A Skill Points None Skill Selection Stat Points None Skills Level Proficiency Tier Traits Locked None None None Dead: You are dead. Magic Level Proficiency Tier Locked None None None
Yes! It worked! Reverse psychology, Biatch!
Maybe... In the same way I could make all my titles in Japanese, since that would be amazing. However, that is just a far off drea-
Status Name: Who Cares? Race: Undefined Level: -1 Experience: 0/0.000001 Gender: None Age: undefined Titles Mushi Health Undefined Strength 0 Vitality 0 Agility 0 Dexterity 0 Classes Stamina Undefined Intelligence 0 Wisdom 0 Perception 0 Charisma 0 None Mana Undefined Crit Rate Undefined Passive effects Status Ailments N/A Fame: -10
Infamy: 0
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
Skill Points None Skill Selection Stat Points None Skills Level Proficiency Tier Traits Locked None None None Dead: You are dead. Magic Level Proficiency Tier Locked None None None
Yes! That also worked! Wait, why is the title Mushi? Doesn't that mean bug? Am I so amazing, that the system considers me a bug!? Let's see for ourselves.
Mushi
You are considered an annoyance.
-10 fame
Congratulations! Congratulations! Due to special actions, you have unlocked Fame and Infamy!
Huh...
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Process Complete!
You have successfully taken over the comatose body of Rick Walker!
Rick Walkers soul has been destroyed, and you now have full control over the empty husk, previously known as Rick Walker, and all of his memories.
Wait, what!?
Oh, oh god. I... I remember conception. That... is not pleasant. Why is my only other memory about a family heirloom? Why is the heirloom a relatively new hammer? Why was this body in a coma?
Well, who cares? I'm just happy to be alive.
I try opening my eyes, and they are immediately assaulted by an overwhelming bright light. It takes some time to get used to. After blinking, a few hundred times, I believe that I am ready to take in all the sights.
The first sight that greets me is a hammer laying next to me. A very specific hammer. The very hammer I was writing a story about.
Also the fact that I am a toddler. Ohhh, I remember now. As an excericise to raise my vitality, my father smashed my head with this hammer, about... 3000 times a day.
I don't get it.
What the hell?
That doesn't even make sense. How am I still alive? Though, it does make sense that I was in a coma... even though it was only for around a day. Still, who does that to a toddler?
So, my hammer leveled up, simply because it was beating me to death?
Status Name: Rick Walker
Race: Beastman (Sub-Species: Werecat)
Level: 0 Experience: 0/4 Gender: None Age: 2 years Titles Mushi, Umarekawatta Health 50,000/50,000 Strength 5 Vitality 1,000 Agility 5 Dexterity 2 Classes Stamina 100,000/100,000 Intelligence 50 Wisdom 20 Perception 3 Charisma 50 None Mana Locked Crit Rate 0.001% Passive effects Status Ailments N/A Fame: -10
Infamy: 0
Skill Points None Skill Selection Stat Points None Skills Level Proficiency Tier Traits Locked None None None Godly Vitality: You have an immense vitality for your level, and, in addition, amazing vigor. Magic Level Proficiency Tier Toddler: As a toddler, you are loved. This results in a high Charisma that will slowly lower as you age, unless you are pleasing to the eyes. Locked None None None
Why am I a beastman?
Why do I have Godly Vitality?
Why am I-
"Rick! It's time for our daily session!"
Is this real?