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Lemme Smash!
Prologue: The Death of A Horny Man

Prologue: The Death of A Horny Man

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YOU DIED

The only words present on my screen brought me to the edge of my patience, as I started to bang my head on the computer desk in front of me.

"Damnit! How?! I clearly had an advantage!"

I get up from my chair swiftly, rough enough to flip it over. Not too long after, I swipe my hand across the desk, scattering figurines all around. Combing my hair with my fingers, I come to a realization. That very same combing turns into pulling as I exclaim,

"Shit! I forgot my super rare Mizu figure was there!"

I decide to take the best course of action, dropping my hands and going prone on the ground. Grabbing the figurine, my habits make me start to gently caress it.

"Are you okay, my love? I'm sorry if I hurt you. It was an accident, I just wasn't thinking straight. What do you mean, what do I mean? I apologize. Let's leave it at that."

I continue to caress the figure indefinitely, eventually coming to a halt. Just a break for a close inspection. Then, the caressing begins again. THis time, much more thoroughly.

"Oh, I wish I accepted that offer to mod you. It's too late for regrets now."

My breathing starts to get more rough, and I start to caress the figurine faster. Another sudden stop makes me think of my actions.

"Wait, what the hell am I doing? Am I really that desperate? Was I always this desperate?"

It's been like this for the past two years after my graduation. Once I got my highschool diploma, there wasn't much else for me to do. I simply had no drive to go on, no purpose to push me forward. It used to be all about the grades, with close to no knowledge being absorbed.

Ever since then, I've been living off my meager programming skills. Designing flashy but useless websites for inexperienced entrepeneurs has gotten me enough money to do what I want for now. I have nothing to do than stay in my room at my parents house, the same house my older sister lives in.

My sister actually has a life, though. She considers everything I do to basically be a hot steaming pile of dog shit, However, at some point, I started admiring her who had a life. Soon enough, the admiration turned to lust. It only continued onward into an ever descending crescendo of despair.

Her name is Becky. She is an absolute slut. Her boyfriend is even the well-known manwhore Ben. By well-known, I mean at least the entire city knows of him.

That all ends today. I will never worry about this again. The day before, I met a nice woman on Blackpage. She was offering services for only 20 dollars an hour, which I have more than enough for through my website creation. Even if I only do it occasionally.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

The plan is to meet her today, in a nearby hotel downtown. There is a problem, though.

That which keeps me here, from dawn to dusk. That which gave me comfort, only to leave me in disgust. I call it The Darkness, and it suppresses my lust.

'Not so much, considering what I was just doing to my Mizu figure.'

I search around using my limited vision, finding a flashlight in some mess of wet tissues. Turning it on, I move towards the light switch to the left of my door. On my way there, there were a few stumbles, but I immediately dismissed it from my mind. All that matters is what'll happen next. Shortly after acquiring the flashlight, I reach the switch and turn on the lights.

'The Darkness has been expelled, and though it may come back, that is a problem for another day.'

Getting ready to leave the room, I take one last look over my shoulder to appreciate my place of comfort. My computer, that holds all types of tentacle porn. My manga, that has given me joy and wasted months of my time. My tissues, that have shared with me wonderful and pleasure filled experiences.  My clothes, making for a perfect bed anywhere.

I remember two things. One: This flashlight is fucking disgusting. Two: I look down, only to be greeted by my disappointing Johnny.

I go to my closet, and take out some clothes at random. Swiftly putting them on, I move towards the door of my room once more, and exit into the hallway beyond.

Now, the real challenges begin.

I get down into a pseudo-sneaking position, and start crepping my way down the hallway, ever so slowly. I seem to be making slow progress, as I keep tripping over nothing, but I eventually find my footing and continue faster. It's still only equivalent to a snails pace, though. I dodge around the hallway, hiding behind the occasional plant, until I finally reach the first of many challenges.

The door of temptations, as I like to call it. Specifically, my sister's door. I feel the desire run through my body. It screams at me to open the door, enter while I have a chance! ALL THE PANTSU!!!

I resist it, just barely. I used all my willpower, and I resisted. Still, even after doing so, the temptaion still strikes me. I cannot fail here. This is only the beginning. I resolutely move onward, the temptation whispering to me sweet nothings as I glance back now and again.

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The sixty-ninth challenge. All other 67 challenges were rather irrelevant, so it took less than a glance to get by. This one, however, is by far the most difficult, very much deserving the title of boss fight. My parents room.

I get up from my crouching position, and try to quickly but quietly jog past. However, with my heightened perception from the adrenaline, I noticed the door to be slightly ajar.

'Come to think of it, I have never entered my parents room before.'

I was always told never to enter. That I would regret what I saw. I don't believe them anymore. Curiosity killed the cat.

Slowly, I move towards the door. A scream. I quicken my pace, worried at what might be happening. A sense of urgency and caution wells up inside me. A womans voice,

"Hahahahaha! Scream for me!"

Reaching the door, looking inside the crack, it took only a second for me to regret what I saw. In front of me, my mother was standing, her back turned to the door, wearing a sadist costume. I peek in further, only to further cultivate my regret. My dad... strapped to a wall... with a chastity belt and whip lashes all over his body. Then, right before the next strike gets to him, he yells,

"THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID LEMME SMASH!!!!!"

I run away, silently crying. A wordless promise was made by me to my father, that this would never be spoken of. I have a feeling that I can never let my guard down around my mother ever again.

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Okay, this is it. The final stretch. Along the way, many problems were faced, but in the end, it doesn't matter. I made it. I stroll down the remaining part of the hallway, knowing that at this point, I have all the time in the world. I make my way to the door at the other end, expectations rising endlessly.

This door. It isn't like those from the 69 challenges. This will only lead to joy. It will lead me outside. More importantly, it will lead me to taht woman from Blackpage. I once again reach for a door, this time with different reasons. Before walking out, I grab the carkeys from a stool by the door. And I walk out.

I've finally made it. I make my way to the left, not bothering to walk on the sidewalk, instead using the quickest possible path. My hands, centimeters away from my goal, which is opening the drivers door to this pure white car, comes to a stop.

"What is that...?"

Suddenly, a sharp, shiny object seems to come through an inter-dimensional portal, piercing me straight through the heart. Actually, it had gone at such a speed the the wind pressure around it absolutely obliterated my chest. Right after, it flew straight into another portal, presumably back to from whence it came.

Next was the pain, Oh, the pain. Why can't it just be like on TV, instant death?

I lie on the ground, gradually losing the last of my blood to the green lawn, looking at the pure white car, now stained a not-so-bright red. A final realization hits me in my last moments. I never got to enter Becky's room. Or smash. There's also... the fact that I died to a fork. Ahhhh.... this is the end. I can see the ligh-

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