Boomtown had but one guard. For an ever-growing town, one would understandably expect there to be several more. But no. Boomtown had one, and she was all they needed.

Yes. Any who dared make trouble in Boomtown would quickly learn just how terrifying the sight of that green-haired, blue-eyed warrioress in her green and brown town’s guard outfit could be.

And just to be clear, the sight was absolutely terrifying. No matter how Sweet her name might be.

For the lady herself, though, today was just another day in Boomtown. Yeah, sure. The barrier had shattered or whatever, but it was just another case of her husband letting her down. What was she supposed to do about it? If she’d tried to fix every damn thing Boom messed up, she would’ve gone crazy millennia ago.

As it was, the idiot had said he’d handle it. So he’d handle it. Or die trying. Or blow something up. Or… whatever it was he said.

“Another round?”

Sweet blinked her eyes and tried to look in the direction of the voice. “Yeeeeesshhh…”

“Another round coming up.” A sturdy dwarven hand slid a large mug of beer over in Sweet’s direction. It clinked against several of its emptied brethren before coming to a halt.

“Yerr theeeee beessss, Blaaaaaaaaedeeeeee,” Sweet mumbled.

“So you tell me, boss. So you tell me.” Blade grabbed a few of the empty mugs and began to wash them. “Have you heard about the new kid?”

Sweet groggily shook her head, then burped. “What new kid? We’re not supposed to be getting anyone for a while.”

Blade shrugged. “I heard from some of the guys that Boom brought a new kid into town today. Some young-looking fella dressed in all black. Oh, there was a white dagger on the back of his coat. And I think he was wearing those, ah… I forget what you call them. Glasses?”

Sweet raised her head, suddenly alert. “Glasses?”

“Yeah.”

“Goddammit,” Sweet muttered under her breath. Maybe the others didn’t realize, but the gods returned each legend to their most ideal state before dropping them off at Boomtown for their eternal retirement.

Yeah, sure. Legends weren’t given anything they hadn’t achieved or had in their previous life, but unless this newcomer had been born with some sort of vision impairment, their vision should be fine. So why were they still wearing glasses? Unless the glasses were a fashion statement, in which case…

Sweet wrinkled her nose. Would a person with such terrible taste have the ability to become a legend? After a moment of contemplation, she sighed. With all of the crazy and otherwise unusual individuals she’d seen enter Boomtown over the years, maybe a legendary figure with an abominable sense of fashion wasn’t so far-fetched.

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Still…

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt as her ears perked. Then, without so much as a word, she dashed out of the bar.

“She better bring that mug back,” Blade grumbled. “I don’t want to have to buy more from that stinkin’ elf again.”

***

“Get back here, thief!” Philo shouted as he chased after Kandy. The latter laughed hysterically as he ran out of the forge, dressed in a full set of armor and dragging a fearsome greatsword behind him.

Philo huffed and puffed as he chased. “Goddammit kid, didn’t anyone teach you to respect your elders?”

Kandy turned back and chortled as he continued to run. “Can’t catch me! I’m the fastest in the world, old man! Fast as fu—Ow!”

Kandy fell head over heels, having run into some immovable object. Was it a tree? But he was still on the dirt path, mere steps from the smithery. There shouldn’t have been a tree in his way. So, what had he run into?

Unfortunately, as the helmet had been too big for his head, it’d shifted somewhat during his fall. Kandy panickedly grabbed the helmet and tore it off, only to see a green-haired woman towering over him.

Not just any woman. A woman in a town guard’s outfit. Oh, no. Law enforcement! Wait, was that a mug of beer in her hand?

Kandy tried to swing the greatsword at the guard, but given his awkward position and lack of strength, the greatsword barely budged.

Sweet stared down the bridge of her nose at the thief, unamused by his struggles. Meanwhile, Philo caught up and pulled the greatsword out of Kandy’s hands.

“Thanks, Sweet. Little bugger tried to steal the greatsword I made for Rudeus. Not to mention, made off with my favorite set of armor”

“Rudeus? That klutz? What does he need a sword for?”

Philo shrugged. “Said if he’s gonna be here for a while, he might as well learn to be more than a shieldbearer. Asked me to make him a sword he can train with. Got some help enchanting it. It won’t hurt its wielder.”

“Smart.”

Sweet took a swig from her mug and looked back down at Kandy, who was trying to struggle against the weight of the armor to get to his feet, then crouched and reached for his neck before lifting him into the air.

“Hey, you better let me down, or my dad’s gonna—” Kandy’s words were brutally interrupted as Sweet knocked him over the head with the mug, shattering it.

“Your daddy’s gonna what?”

“He’s gonna—” This time, Kandy’s words were interrupted by a kick to the family jewels. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he began to foam at the mouth.

“Well, looks like that knocked him out.” Sweet unceremoniously dropped Kandy’s limp body to the ground. “Philo, you mind getting him out of your armor yourself? I’ll drag him to town later to deal with him.”

“Right-o.”

Stripped of his ill-gotten armor, Kandy was unceremoniously tied up and dragged by the back of his collar back to the town square, where he was tied to the stage. Sweet sat on the steps next to him, grumbling about this and that.

“Where the hell is Boom? Is that idiot still not back from feeding the orb?” She looked around and called one of the citizens over. “Hey, Holmes!”

“Yes, Sweet?” A somewhat frail-looking man cautiously approached.

“Can you go to Blade’s and get me a beer?”

Holmes stared at Sweet, who stared back, broken mug in hand. After losing the contest, Holmes shook his head and turned away.

“Yes ma’am.”