Even as Dario cursed, his armor appeared upon his body and he charged forward, toward the cats. With a single swing of his sword, an arc of mana slashed outwards, slicing through most of the cats that had come to the prison area.
Still, he wasn’t able to kill them all. One of the farthest, a black cat with short fur, stood back on its haunches and pulled a miniature piano from its waist forward. With a few deft movements, it began playing a tune that sounded almost cheerful—but for Dario, it might as well have been the tune of his failure and impending doom.
Without even bothering to silence the cat, Dario turned and raced up the spiral ramp. When he made it to the top, he saw an army of felines charging at him—most were house cats, but at the very front was a jaguar.
“I knew I wasn’t cut out for a life of underhanded stealth tactics,” Dario muttered. “It’s far more honorable to meet our foes face to face. Mano a mano.
“Or should I say, Mano a garra? Mano a dientes? Yeah, that’s probably it.”
Before leaving for the other side, each fighter had been given a picture book with a drawing of each species of cat and their unique characteristics.
Those of a jaguar could be summed up quickly. They were excellent swimmers, incredibly fast, and…
As the jaguar leaped towards Dario, the last, most important characteristic came to mind.
Their fangs were incredibly lethal.
But it was for that same reason that the jaguar’s mouth, when faced with a skilled, armored knight, was its weakness.
As it opened its maw to try and bite off Dario’s head, the latter simply gripped his sword with both hands and thrust it forward, right between the jaguar’s two rows of teeth. The animal’s own momentum caused the sword’s tip to pierce through its body and emerge from its back.
Dario ran forward, forcing his way through the army of felines by slashing his way through. He needed to get to high ground, and quickly, or the endless fighting would sap him of his strength before long.
Even rushing through at full speed, it took Dario well over ten minutes of fighting to find his way back to the surface—and it wasn’t about to get any easier.
He rushed towards the central pillar. Before long, he spotted a ramp that ran up the pillar’s edge.
Dario glanced backwards, only to see that several of the larger felines were catching up.
Shit.
He waved his hand and his sword, shield, and armor all disappeared back into his holding space.
Freed of the extra weight, Dario focused his mana into his legs and feet and surged towards the ramp. It was going to be a long long long run.
It didn’t take too long for Dario to reach the first box attached to the pillar, or rather, cat tower. It was massive, hundreds to perhaps even a thousand feet tall, wide, and long. The first box seemed to be a residential area, with hundreds of cats slowly strolling down skybridges, some standing behind stalls, sporting cute outfits and serving fish, milk, veggies, and grains.
All of this was promptly thrown into chaos as Dario, now half-naked again, sprinted down the ramp. The sheer force of his speed and mana pushed those in his way aside as he barreled forward, leaving his pursuers far behind him.
The felines had definitely called ahead, though, as Dario soon spotted lines of guards working their way through the crowd towards him.
“This is never going to end, is it?!” Dario shouted to himself in frustration.
He darted off the ramp, and landed onto the roof of another box. From there, he ducked out of view and ran ahead, past where he’d spotted the guards.
Just as he was about to jump back down onto the ramp, however, he saw that another clowder of feline guards were going down the ramp that ran along the main pillar.
If I just keep going up like this, I’ll never make it. And even if I do, I’ll be far too tired to fight this layer’s officer…
Dario cursed, then looked around. Oh Holy Truth, show me the way forward!
Stolen story; please report.
When no viable option showed itself, Dario’s shoulders slumped. I guess… there’s no road out for me this time.
He looked up, taking in the vast distance between himself and his target.
No… perhaps I have been looking at this the wrong way.
If I cannot reach their heights… then perhaps I can bring them down to me.
He pulled out his sword again and lifted it towards the heavens. “Oh Holy Truth, grant me the power to fell this tower of sin!”
With his sword gripped as tightly as he could, and mana coursing through, he swung it in a way he never would have before, like an axe.
As if he were a woodcutter trying to fell a massive tree, he chopped at the central pillar. A large crack split open, but with how large the pillar was, it was as if he’d picked at it with a tiny needle.
He swung again, even harder this time, and the crack deepened and widened.
This isn’t impossible… but the issue is time.
Indeed, even as he swung at the pillar again, a group of five large felines jumped atop the rooftops and slowly prowled their way towards him.
The five wore the same uniform, armor with a white and red motif that flowed with their lithe bodies. Seeing that Dario was trapped, they paused and turned their heads toward each other, as if discussing their options.
Dario took the chance to take another swing at the central pillar. Immediately after though, he turned to face the felines, knowing that he’d not have a safe chance to do so again.
Whatever discussion they’d had, the felines had finished. They stepped forward, and the frontmost, a tiger, tapped a bell strung around its neck.
A proud, uplifting march sounded from it, and the tiger loudly declared in the common tongue, “Pre-purr to be dazzled by our might, for we are the Fur-tastic Five!”
With that, the tiger tapped the bell around its neck again, and the music changed from the march to something closer to disco.
The five cats lifted themselves onto their haunches and, most strangely, began to dance.
Dario stared in shock, forgetting for a moment what the situation even was. It felt like a fever dream.
The dance continued for more than a few seconds, and the cats were in perfect, or rather, purr-fect sync, as if they’d practiced the moves many times beforehand. Finally, they finished their dance and settled into a combination of poses that…
Well…
If Dario had been worried about this squad of fearsome creatures before, he wasn’t anymore.
They looked absolutely ridiculous.
That illusion was quickly broken though, as the smallest of the five, a rather robust orange tabby, pulled out a set of brass knuckles and stepped forward.
“Let me at him, boss. He won't be more than a splatter on the ground when I’m done with him,” the orange tabby said in a deep, gruff voice.”
“Very well, Kaebur,” the tiger responded. “We shall see if you deserve your spot as the fifth member of the Fur-tastic Five!”
Dario blinked twice, then slapped himself in the face.
“Ow!” he shouted. “Dammit, that hurt! So I’m not dreaming?!”
He scrutinized the tabby before him. “Well… a warrior is a warrior, I guess.”
“Now, little kitty. I won’t hold back, so—Woah!”
Dario stumbled backwards as the orange tabby lunged at him, swiping, punching, biting, kicking, and scratching all at the same time.
Spittle flew from the cat's mouth as it moved in seventeen dimensions to inflict maximum pain upon Dario before the latter could summon a blast of mana that blew the orange tabby away from himself.
Dario took advantage of the moment of respite to summon his armor and shield back.
“He’s not that strong, brothers!” the tabby jeered. “This will be over quickly!”
The other four cats settled into new ridiculous, encouraging poses, cheering on their brethren. Dario, with great effort, zoned out their ridiculousness and focused on the orange menace.
It wasn’t really much of a problem—even in the previous, ferocious exchange, he’d gauged the cat’s fighting ability. It was an enemy he could have beaten even before his hellish training in Boomtown. Not easily, but consistently.
The problem was the other four. As soon as they saw that their brother was losing, they’d likely join in and beat him up with numbers.
Even with the power of the Holy Truth behind him, Dario didn’t feel confident in defeating all five at the same time.
So then, there was only one obvious move left.
As the orange tabby rushed forward, Dario stepped to the side, rotating so that instead of the orange tabby fighting with his allies at his back, the two were fighting along a line parallel to the spectating members of the Fur-tastic Five.
Dario smashed his shield into the orange tabby, sending it tumbling backwards. Then, he raised his sword, imbuing it with radiant energy, and turned towards the four spectators.
With all his might, Dario swung his sword in a wide arc—but he’d underestimated the cats’ reflexes. They all jumped out of the way, unharmed, while Dario’s radiant slash soared past them and sliced apart an entire block of housing.
Shit! Dario was about to turn tail and run when one of the cats, a leopard, leapt over the rooftop’s edge and ungracefully landed onto the skybridge below.
The other cats had spread out as well, aside from the bengal, who was still in midair.
It was his only viable target.
Dario readied his sword for another slash and charged forward. Without the ability to move itself in midair, the bengal was little more than a sitting duck. Dario easily sliced through the leopard, armor and all.
“No! Third brother!” The three other cats still atop the rooftops shouted.
Dario grinned. Sometimes, as he was finding out, it paid to fight a little less honorably. Why hadn’t he done this sooner?
Still, there were four other enemies present—and they were all viciously hissing at him. The leopard leaped on top of the roof just in time to see the two halves of the bengal splat against the rooftop.
The four animals growled, baring their teeth and wiggling their butts—any posing, any puns, were clearly off the table now.
But that was all fine with Dario. He slowly backed up until he could feel the back of his armor hit the island’s central pillar, then leaned forward and lowered his shield to the ground.
“Come get me, pussies.”