I took off my sandals in the hall just past our front door and then stepped up onto the actual floor of the house. It was painstakingly cleaned by me each and every day, and I do not want to make it worse for me when I have to clean it again. And speaking of cleaning the house…

“What are you doing here so late?!” Hearing me at the door, father shouted through the house. Even if I had gotten back early, he’d still say I was late, so might as well actually be late, right?

I stood in place at the edge of the floor, waiting - I could hear him shuffling through the house, and he quickly appeared before me. He was a fat man, which was quite odd considering the fact that I barely got enough food to survive.

Of course, I knew that he just kept the majority of the food we were given for himself. His own rations as a Sorcerer, the rations that were given out to care for me since mom is gone, and the rations that were given out to trainee Sorcerers like myself. I probably got less than a single percent of it.

Yes, my father - I don’t even care to know his name - is also a Sorcerer, but only one at the peak stage of Rank 1, which I was just at the initial stage of. From what I’d read in the library, his essence should be ‘pure ruby’. Of course, compared to the Rank 2 citrine essence of my mother before she passed, it was quite shameful to only be at that level at the age of more than thirty.

“You aren’t gonna apologize, huh?!” Apparently, father was annoyed by my silence.

A sudden force jerked my head to the right, and I can feel the stinging aftermath left behind. Despite being slapped in the face with the full force of father’s hand, I remained standing. If I had fallen to the ground, he would’ve continued to hit me, and if I dared turn back to him, he would hit me again.

I’d grown up with the man as my father for sixteen years. I know how to act obedient in order to avoid further punishment.

All of those thoughts only occupied my mind for little more than a moment before I noticed the dirt all over the floor as a result of father’s boots - old and caked with dirt. However, I didn’t mention it. Doing so would only get me beat, and I do not need more bruises on top of what I already have.

Finding my ‘fear’ sufficient enough, father walked away, back towards his room. “Clean up the house, girl!”

I slowly turned my head to face forward again, reaching up to rub my stinging cheek. After a deep breath to calm myself, I went to grab the broom. At least the monotonous process of sweeping each room can give me something to be distracted about.

Sweep the floor, then grab the brush made of feathers that mom had made to clean dust and stray dirt onto the floor. Then, sweep the floor a second time. And if I managed to find a stray grain of rice - which was rare - then I’d eat it. Any bit of food I can get is good.

This process was repeated for each room in the house, and I took even longer than was necessary in order to put off cleaning the bedroom as much as possible. I always wait until father’s asleep to clean there. In the end though, it took even less time than walking home in the first place.

This home only had four rooms, and for that, it was actually quite luxurious compared to the majority of other buildings in this massive city.

Take Coal. Even though his family’s home was improved thanks to him being a B-Grade, all it had done was change things from one room being used for everything to one room being used for everything except taking a shit.

But the size of this home plus the fact that it was only me and father staying here meant that there was more than enough room. That’s the only good thing about home.

I stood slightly off to the side from the door to father’s bedroom. Unfortunately, I couldn’t yet hear him snoring, so he’s not asleep yet. All I can do is wait with nothing to do. Perhaps I could go read the Black Book, but I wouldn’t have much time to read - and only reading bits at a time isn’t respectful to those who died so we could survive past the Red Rain.

So I ended up just waiting until I heard the snores of father in the other room. Being quiet - but not slow - I started near the entrance and slowly swept dirt, dust, and other such stuff past myself and into the main room. Then, took that through the home and to the outside.

As I swept along the ground at the far side of the bed relative to the door, I noticed something on the shelf that I’d never seen before. Actually, three somethings.

The one that had initially caught my eye was a small golden tube. I recognized the shape from the library as something meant to hold a scroll within it. Even if someone hasn’t seen gold before, it is always fantasized and talked about so much that I doubt anyone wouldn’t think this was gold.

Next to the scroll case was a small cross pendant. If I’d been doubtful that the scroll case was made of gold, this would’ve dispelled it - there’s no way this isn’t gold! Though, I’m confused. Since we have something like this, why didn’t father sell it to get us better living conditions?

Though, the next thing I saw completely stole my attention away from the two gold items. A simple charcoal painting, like those that I’ve seen in the library of previous city lords. It was obvious enough that the person on it was a woman.

“Mom…?” Even though she’d died before my eyes were open, and I’d never seen what she looked like, there was no doubt that this was a painting of Mom. Due to its simplicity and lack of color, I couldn’t make out her features well, but that didn’t matter.

Since they’re next to her painting… Were these two things left behind by Mom? In the end, I did something I probably shouldn’t have; I grabbed the golden necklace and carefully put it on. I don’t know what came over me.

Maybe I just felt like it would let me feel the warmth of her arms once more. Even though I hadn’t expected anything…

An intense warmth came over my body as soon as the cross touched my skin. There was a strange sense, quite unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It made me feel like I had boundless energy in my body, almost like all of the bad things in life were being chased away.

That feeling was torn away almost as soon as it had come.

“What made you think that you could touch the things in my room?!” Father took hold of my neck and slammed me into the wall with a heavy shake.

My vision was unclear, but I could still see him reaching out to take the pendant off of my neck. For the first time in my life, I struggled against him. That thing was the warmth of my mother, something that I’d dreamt of but never been able to feel! It was mine!

But with my weak strength, I couldn’t do anything against his hold on my neck. He took the pendant away from me, and slammed me against the wall a second time. “Don’t you dare touch-”

My eyes were filled with a burst of golden light, and I felt my body fall to the floor. The impact was almost as painful as being slammed into the wall, and my eyes were blurry and tearing up because of the bright light. But after a short moment, I was able to see again.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

Do it! At the sight of the room, an inner voice within me spoke. Kill him!

I looked down at the floor, where father lay unconscious. Each and every bruise and cut he’d left on my body still ached to some degree; some purple and older, quite a few red and having happened just now.

The room was completely torn up, and father was also injured. Given that one of his hands was practically destroyed, it must’ve been the pendant that exploded with that golden light. As for the pendant itself, it was gone; must’ve been blown apart as well…

“Take a deep breath.” In order to stay calm, I spoke to myself. Though, having not spoken in a long time, hearing my own voice surprised me. It was quivering, unlike my normal self.

Meanwhile, my inner thoughts continued to rage and urge me to do something. If you don’t kill him now before people arrive to investigate the noise and light, then you won’t ever get the chance again. And if he survives, then he’s going to beat you to the edge of death for this - or maybe even past it!

But… I don’t want to be a murderer, let alone commit the third degree sin of patricide!

Killing a sinner is not a sin, no matter what! Isn’t it strange how your mother died? She was a Rank 2 Sorcerer, very healthy, and an important asset to the city; how could she have gotten sick and passed away just like that? Your father didn’t grieve for her in the slightest… Doesn’t it all add up?

I guess I’ve just tried to ignore the truth, but everything was right in front of me the whole time, huh? My body fell forward, but I caught myself with my arms and looked up to see father’s unconscious body. It’d be so easy…

Take revenge! Tears began to well up in my eyes, despite my best attempts to stop them. Mother was my warmth in this world, yet father killed her!

I crawled forth until I was right next to father’s body. The dagger used to make wounds on myself was pulled from my sash, raised high up in the air. “Aghhhh!” A full scream comes from my mouth as I stab downwards. There’s no spray of blood as the dagger slides in, but the cloth around it quickly turns red.

Father’s body began to twitch, so I pulled out the dagger and stabbed again in a different spot.

“Give! Me! Back! My! Mother!” I screamed at him even though he surely couldn’t hear me, each word accompanied by another stab. He’s not twitching anymore, but he might still be alive! I have to kill him, I have to kill him, I have to kill him!

I’m purely focused on trying to pick the best spot to stab to kill him, so I only noticed the footsteps when it was too late. Somebody, a woman, screams, and then I’m pulled away - my dagger taken away.

“No! Let me go!” He might still be alive, I need to kill him! I used all of my force to struggle, and then tried to cast a spell, but my hands were restrained before I could start. As a final resort, I kicked backwards and hit the man holding me in the groin.

As soon as his grip relaxed, I tore away back to father’s body. I may not have my dagger now, but I can still suffocate him! My hands latch onto his throat from above and I squeeze with as much force as I can possibly muster. He doesn’t react, so my method must be working!

I’m pulled away once more by those people. “No! I have to kill him! I have to kill him!”

This time, multiple people hold me away, but then someone - a woman, I think - hugs me. The noise within my head is calmed, and I can finally hear what they’re saying.

“He’s already dead, Shadow. He’s already dead.”

All my energy leaves my body and I slump downwards, but the woman, who I can now tell is our neighbor, stops me from falling. I leave the room with her help, but I can’t help but take a look at the dead body on the way out.

That’s not my father anymore.

There’s many people in the house, but I can tell that they’re all looking at me like I’m crazy. I don’t care, even though they put me in a corner. “Shadow, just stay here. I… I don’t know what’ll happen to you. But you don’t want to make things worse, do you?”

I looked into the woman’s brown eyes. My own eyes are probably more stable than her shaking ones, since I calmed down once the deed was done. But still, I nodded. Even if I’ve committed a horrible sin, that’s something that’ll catch up to me when I go to die. I don’t have to die yet!

The woman walked away, and the other people left this room of the house empty as well. I could have my thoughts to myself, I suppose. Heh, I’m finally free…

Or maybe they aren’t just to myself.

Looking forward, I could see my own shadow on the floor, despite the fact that there shouldn’t have been any light to cast it in that direction. Regardless, it was there, darker than normal and staring at me with a pair of violet eyes.

Good job, Shadow. A voice sounded in my head.

Only now did I realize that what I had taken to be my own internal thoughts was instead something completely different. But… who cares? Though, I still had to ask. “Are you the Devil?” Nobody looked at me strangely despite me talking to nothing. Could they not hear or notice?

And what makes you think that? Despite its only features being the glowing eyes, mirth was still evident on its face. Does it think what I said was funny?

“The Devil is the voice within us that urges us to turn sinful thoughts into actions.” I tilted my head at the strange shadow being in inquiry. “Is that not what you did?”

Ah, a silly little idea from the Wastelander Writ, is it? A chuckle-like sound echoed through my head, before the voice continued. There is no such thing as ‘the’ Devil.

No, I’m your own inner devil, born from all the wrongs done to you, born to save you and help you get revenge on everyone and everything that has hurt you! The ‘inner devil’ spoke with an intense passion that I myself have never had, except for maybe this once.

“Revenge on everyone who’s hurt me?” Ignoring whether its words were the truth, there was something I was more confused about. “But that man was the only one who has hurt me.”

Coal, Flint, Dark, Grass, and Dust… The shadow somehow shook its head separately from myself. They’ve all bullied you and hurt you. Not only them, but even this world itself has harmed you. You could’ve been born with 100% aptitude, but the world decided that you shouldn’t! Doesn’t it need to pay?

Its words finally resonated with me. Yeah, why did I have to only have an aptitude of 47%? But still, I’m not sure this thing can be trusted. “I don’t think you are actually my inner devil. Your appearance was too coincidental, showing up right after that pendant exploded.”

The darkest depths are only revealed under the brightest light, no? I hate stupid cryptic stuff like that, so I glared at it. The strange shadow laughed - seemingly in response. If I had only just appeared, how would I have known what happened in the past? No. It was your sense of loss when the pendant was taken away that caused me to finally take shape.

Ugh, its words make sense. But I still need to be careful, as the Black Book said that the Devil can appeal with rationality just as much as irrationality. If there is not a singular Devil, an inner devil must be what it refers to.

“Then what are you suggesting I do?”

My inner devil cracked wide a violet smile. The spell on that scroll will be the key to your revenge! With it, you can acquire the strength that should’ve belonged to you, and cast spells as you please!

Was there really a spell that can do that? Doubt floated in my head, but it’s not like I could go check it out right now. Thankfully, since the scroll was owned by that man, it would become mine now that he was dead.

As for whether me being the killer would change anything, it’s unlikely. If I’m correct, that scroll must’ve actually belonged to Mom, and she most likely left it to be inherited by me. It’s just that that man had abused the fact that I’m underage in order to not give it to me.

Perhaps he knew what was in it, and didn’t want me to become stronger than him? That’s something that I’ll never know the answer to, but the fate of the scroll will only be clear later.

For now, there’s something more important, so I looked at my inner devil. “I still don’t think you’re actually my inner devil, but I need something to call you either way.”

You still don’t trust me - isn’t that the same as not trusting yourself? An annoyed frown came onto my face, but it continued regardless of that. I’m just your inner devil, so you can call me whatever you want.

I thought for a moment before coming up with something.

“Then, your name will be… Shade.”