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Lamenting Innocence
1.10 Bedside Manner

1.10 Bedside Manner

This time when Sol woke she was in a proper bed, in a proper room, and seemed to actually have been attended to by a proper nurse. Her clothes weren’t ill-fitting, perhaps the ones she had been in were Magnus’ she would have to thank her for at least saving her from the shame of that, and instead seemed to be a patients gown. Uniform white and easy to access all of her body from. Sol felt at her ribs and only felt fresh bandages. Taking a breath she tried to sit up but found that her body was still unwilling to do even that much. She hissed and flopped back into her pillow. Compared to the accommodation previously this was something like what the bishop slept in, or so Sol imagined. Sol’s own bed in the Huntress’ quarters was hardly more comfortable than the one Magnus had laid her in before.

“Oh, you’re awake.” A silky voice flowed through the room, gossamer soft and emerald green. “I’ll let the doctor know.”

“Wait,” Sol’s throat hurt, suddenly dry as she tried to sit up once again. Groaning loudly as she forced the issue. The woman appeared next to Sol trying to push her back down. “What did Doc do to me?” She growled, grabbing the nurse’s arm with all the strength she could muster.

“You were wounded,” She said as she pulled her arm away with all the ease of pushing a cat off of a desk. “It seemed as if you’d been tended to in the field but, and don’t take this as me badmouthing another colleague I love Magnus to death, he wasn’t very good at it.”

Sol blinked owlishly at her, “Magnus’ sutures were fine, I thought.”

“You nearly bled to death.”

“That wasn’t her fault.” Sol tried to defend her, “Rose was about to see a lycan’s skull turned into a fine mist.”

The nurse pinched the bridge of her nose and stood upright, taking in Sol and letting out a soft sigh. “I’ll let the doctor know that you’re awake and bring by breakfast.” She moved over to the other side of the room and started to draw the curtains.

Sol hissed as she covered her eyes, not expecting to be blinded by a brilliant light. Slowly she brought her hand down and her breath caught in her throat. The district was bathed in light. Not a harsh, cruel everlasting light such in the way that the Eden district was drowned in eternal darkness, but blue skies. Gentle wisps of white clouds. The light from the window chases away the darkness of the room, Sol felt something on her cheek. Belatedly realizing that it was tears.

“Sunstones.” The nurse said suddenly.

“Huh?” Sol blinked, the spell broken but never tearing her eyes away from the windows.

“They’re only sunstones, if I were to open the window you would see the moon and stars.”

Sol nodded slowly. The nurse offered a slight smile, Sol’s stomach twisting as she saw the pity in the woman’s eyes. The soft click of her shoes echoed through the hall, slowly leaving Sol in silence. They’re only sunstones. They’re just sunstones. Bitterness festered in her heart, she had seen the greenhouses and growing rooms, she had seen the ways that sunstones were used to light the holiest of places that she was allowed. Never, never had she ever seen what their home might look like with the dawn.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

That woman couldn’t have been of the Church. The way that she freely and openly associates with afflicted? Wherever Sol was, it wasn’t the Eden district anymore. She took a breath, she was here on a mission. She couldn’t be swept up in emotions because of a bunch of heretics reveling in their defiance of all that was holy. This would be the only way they could experience the light, Sol took comfort in that. She could be cleansed of her sin, of the taint that was spreading through her heart. None here would be. Sol steeled herself, this was only the beginning and she was still weak. Whatever lay before her she was going to need to be careful.

“Good to see that Nurse Strider was correct,” A deeper voice intoned as someone came into the room, her voice the color of malachite. “How are you feeling?”

The woman standing next to Sol’s bed was unlike any she’d seen before. Distantly she thought of the afflicted that had carried her to the room when they got here, this one was like them in a sense. She had a strong jaw and high cheekbones. Her pale skin was flecked with freckles as if someone had flicked her with paint. Stranger still unlike any of the other afflicted she’d seen up to this point there wasn’t excess hair. None on her face, or her hands, there might be some on her arms but with the sleeves of her white jacket there was no way for her to tell.

“The pain is manageable.” Sol decided to be honest, she was at their mercy and in this there was no sense in being obstinate. Yet.

“That is good to hear,” She spoke while writing something down. “My name is Doctor Colin Ashur, I’ve been told quite a few things about your arrival here. Though I would like to hear it in your own words.”

Sol peered at her and then sighed. “I was doing my duty. I was fighting three lycans and they nearly overwhelmed me, if it weren’t for Magnus and her daughter I may have perished there.”

“I see,” She said, gently tilting her head to the side. “You were in quite the state, that was even with his help?”

Sol nodded slowly, but her face screwed up slightly. “It was, though what you saw at first was likely just my having ripped them open during the trip here. I only know that they were grievous when Magnus had picked me up off the street.”

“Such luck then.” She moved closer to inspect Sol. “So I must ask the obvious, as you were not in the state of mind to answer previously.”

Sol peered at Colin suspiciously, though never pulled away from her touch. She at least recognized what she was doing, she couldn’t count the amount of times that she had gone through something like this with the Church. Though the idea of someone else putting hands on her like this, even if she consciously knew why Colin needed to hear her heart, made her writhe with discomfort.

“You should make a full recovery,” She said as she straightened. Sol sighing internally with relief. “If you mind my asking, what are you plans when you are discharged?”

“I will return to my sisters in the Church.” Sol said firmly, not liking the look of disbelief that briefly flitted by on Colin’s face. “Is there a problem with that?”

“No, no,” She hurriedly said, “Just I worry that is all. Magnus is a mad man and that’s why he’s able to go to the Eden district at all.”

Sol sighed, looking back towards the windows to see the district bathed in holy light. “I am not going to run off, if that is what you’re worried about. I’m well aware of procedure.”

“You aren’t my first Huntress,” Colin said, “You likely won’t be my last.” She turned to leave, but paused at the door. “Oh and, one more thing. The men here may not be as understanding as Magnus is, it would be wise to understand that we are not women with an affliction.”

With that, the door closed with a gentle click and left Sol alone with her thoughts. She huffed, but puzzled over Colin’s words. She’d said them with this sense of exhaustion. It was a tone she’d only heard from her Sisters when retreading an argument they’d long grown tired of. Some part of her couldn’t fault Dr. Ashur’s insistence, or at least implied insistence that this was not a topic she was willing to retread. It was this that kept leading her back to how Dr. Ashur was talking about Magnus, it felt unnatural but when she had said it it was fluid and second nature.

“I will have to risk bothering her about it then, when he comes to check on me again.” Sol shook her head. For the moment she was at least stuck there, looking out at what could be their future.