I woke up in a teepee coated in sweat. Milo was next to me sitting on a log still asleep. I felt along my snout and could almost feel the pain from when it had been crushed. It had been 14 years and I could still easily remember the violence I had experienced.

I stumbled out of the teepee and looked around. It was nighttime by now and I could see that my hard-won fire had already gone out. I sat down next to a tree and picked up my book. I took a deep breath and moved to page 36. I read until the sun started to rise.

The workers stumbled out of their huts and looked at me. A few looked with concern but most simply judged me for being weak. I saw one whispering something so I decided to end any notions of weakness.

I sprinted towards the worker and slammed her into the ground. I pulled out my shovel and slammed it into her face. She screamed in pain as blood poured out of her snout.

“The fuck did you say! You're a fucking worker. I’m the chief! I’m the fucking Der'mo yebat! Don’t ever fucking talk about me behind my back. Do you have a problem with me? Challenge me like a kobold. Not a fucking rat.”

The kobold kept screaming in pain as I kicked it in the face one more time before stalking away. My foul mood was disturbed by Milo sprinting up and crushing me in an embrace.

I smiled at his innocence as I patted him on the head. “Boss, you started crying, and, and I thought you died! I’m so glad you're not dead! Don’t worry I disemboweled the mean human.”

I patted him on the head and gently pushed him off. “Thank you for the concern. Now get to work! Gather the warriors and meet me here. We’re going scouting.

Milo scurried away calling for the other warriors as I started walking towards a worker. “Hey you, tell the others! I want basic snares and pit traps set up around our base. Tell the soldiers and make sure no one dies. Get to it!”

I turned to Zog and said, “Zog, if we get attacked make sure that the eggs and workers don’t die.” Zog grunted and went back to sleep. I walked away and started gathering some supplies. I grabbed my regular weapons but also a few ropes and stakes. You never knew if you would want to kill something without actually fighting”

After gathering the supplies and waiting for Milo to smack the warriors awake we set out. Milo walked next to me while the other two warriors walked sullenly despairing at their lack of sleep.

Milo being his normal amazing self was excited and pestered me the entire time. “What are we doing boss? Do we get to kill stuff? I disemboweled a squirrel yesterday! Want the skull? Do you think that someone will ever love me? Can we kill stuff?”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I responded to his ponderings by saying. “Don’t worry, we’re just scouting around. I just wanna make sure nothing around here can kill us before just chilling for a bit while you guys reproduce and eat. I want a large well-fed army soon.”

Milo nodded happily and said “So boss, see anything yet? Got a certain place we were looking for?” I looked at Milo and said, “Milo, please be quiet, I’ll tell you if I see anything for you to kill.” He nodded and we walked in silence for a while.

It was a nice break from having to manage the kobolds. The trees provided a nice amount of shade and the pleasant breeze brought the scent of flowers and cooking flesh. I stopped as I noticed that there was a smell of flesh being cooked.

I held up my hand for the warriors to halt. Unfortunately, they were quite dumb so they just walked into me. After slapping them around a few times. They stopped and I sniffed around. We walked in the direction of the smell and after about five minutes the smell was overpowering.

We reached a clearing and I gagged in horror. Hundreds of goblins were spread out throughout the clearing. In the center were the bodies of a dozen ogres and about 50 goblins.

Goblins were small, three-foot-tall dicks with green and gray skin. They were also known for being incredibly hostile and eating everything they could get their hands on. I staggered away from the clearing and motioned for my warriors to follow. “Alright guys, when I tell you to start running, run. We are going to leave the area immediately.”

We crept away stealthily for a few minutes before I judged that we had moved an okay distance. The second I judged it was safe we booked it. As we sprinted through the underbrush I cursed as I heard the hoots and horns of the goblins. Goblins and kobolds had a rivalry. One was a race of protectors while the others were destroyers.

We made it back to the camp and I screamed “Everyone, grab the supplies!” I turned to Milo and said, “hold off any goblins while we pack up camp.” I quickly sprinted to my tent and grabbed a few bags and coin pouches. Thankfully I had kept most of my valuables in Zog’s howdah. I looked around for Zog and said “Zog, grab your mace and help the warriors! I’ll help the workers!”

I could hear the sound of fighting from where the warriors were. It didn’t sound like it was going well. While my warriors were malnourished and small for kobolds they were still a head taller than goblins.

After gathering my stuff I quickly pulled down a wall of a hut and turned it into a makeshift sled. I saw workers running past me as they rushed to gather their belongings. “Put your stuff on the sled! We're getting out of here! Zog! Milo! Let's move!”

The warriors sprinted out of the combat, unfortunately, one had already been taken down. I drew my shovel and slammed it into the face of a goblin that got too close. Zog grabbed the sled and dragged it as the goblins set fire to our camp and rushed us. “Everyone, get on Zog, make sure the goblins don’t weigh him down. Let's move!”

We exited the clearing and thankfully the workers had managed to set up a few traps. The few casualties caused by them did nothing to stop the horde as it rushed towards us.

Milo and the other warrior kept throwing volley after volley into the goblins and it seemed to have no effect. I felt like sobbing as I gave Zog the order. “Drop the sled! Just get us out of here!”

Zog instantly dropped it and began sprinting away. You would think an ogre would be slow but we began to outpace the horde as they started to question if the meal was worth it. After another ten minutes of nonstop sprinting we managed to lose sight of the goblins. Zog settled into a jog as I fell back into the howdah, gasping for air.

I looked behind me and saw a large plume of smoke flowing into the sky as the sound of goblins laughing ebbed into the distance. I looked over my troops and we were a sorry sight. Only two warriors and four workers were still alive, the rest had been left behind to be devoured by the horde.