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Chapter 17: The Party

“Oh, but my lady, you should have seen this wave! As tall as your castle towers. It was most awesome! Me and my surf brothers road it for three miles! Our sea lions at our sides! But then I collided head on with this huuuge giant squid. Tentacles everywhere. That squid had no flow. He grabbed for me, he totally wanted me for lunch, but my Surf Bros slashed, and my sea lion Gro-dog bit that tentacle way hard.. You should have been there! And then the squid tried…”

Wyndy didn't pay much attention to the rest of the story, as her eyes wandered around the great hall. It was difficult sometimes, being a princess. Especially the older princess. Myla got to do pretty much whatever she wanted, while the older princess had to get ready to rule.

Today, Wyndy had been at two hours of the ceremony to honor the Great Mother at the Equinox, an hour at the festival handing out awards, and was now forced to attend the banquet. Myla had spent most of the day selling scarves and then with her boyfriend. “We are working on new spells,” she’d said. Sure.

On one side of Wyndy was Sir Krdknre of the Sea Elves, and on the other was sat Count Rassler, who wasn't being any more interesting. He'd been talking about his estates and his time in the army and leading squads of cavalry and his crossbow, or something like that. This felt like it was going to be a very long evening. At least until the after-party.

She didn’t know what had happened. Rassler had been almost charming the day before.

Wyndy had made it through almost an hour of their stories before zoning out and becoming lost in her thoughts. Oh, by all the gods, even the unimportant ones like Thorsin, but wow male nobles are tiring! I've tried, I've tried. The gods know that I've tried.

There was a thunderclap outside. It was from close by, maybe a few hundred yards from the castle gates. It hadn't been raining.

You too, Thorsin? Really? My gods, but these fragile egos… Fine, Thorsin, sorry about thinking you are unimportant. You are an important god too. I take back most of the bad things I thought about the gods today.

Wyndy tried again to join in the conversation with the males. “There was this time that thirty zombies and a ghoul attacked a school trip we took to visit the University of the Northern Lights. I had to blow up the zombies before they could eat the other students. My sister, who is, of course, also a powerful sorceress, slowed them down and had the branches rip off some of their legs. It was still a bit tricky to incinerate them in time before they started trying to eat the teachers’ brains. I had to work quickly. Masses of flames were flowing from my arms and eyes. You should have been there!”

Rassler and Krdknre didn't have a response, but Somebody Else did, as loud thunder rumbled around the castle. The guests started to look around.

Yes, I get it Thorsin. You are an extremely powerful god of thunder. That is definitely a big deal. I mean, what would we do without thunder? Storms would be really quiet and very unimpressive. Thunder, wow, so strong! Yes, how very very powerful you are!

It occurred to Wyndy that as she grew in power as a sorceress, she needed to keep her thoughts better shielded. Strong magic gave a sorcerer a sometimes too-direct connection to the gods.

Krdkrne spoke across Wyndy to Rassler. “So, I would like to try your crossbow sometime, but have you ever hunted with a trident?”

Wyndy continued her earlier story. “Of course, I was thirteen at the time. I’m much better at blowing up my enemies now.” It didn't seem the men were listening.

The musicians had started, playing a courtly three-step dance, and the first to the dance floor were Sir Hargest and Pelsa’s own High Priestess Sionia. As they started dancing a number of other couples left their tables and made for the dance floor.

Sir Bowen had been seated next to a tall, fit orc woman that Wyndy recognized as Klea, one of the Fashion-Hista acolytes. They'd been engrossed in a long conversation, but now she took his hand and led him to the dance floor.

Brilliant. I hope my father feels we are being super extra civilized enough. Way more civilized than the humans’ kingdoms. We are being so civilized that we are treating our prisoners better than our crown princess. Maybe I should have incinerated the human invaders after all.

Neither of the males seated next to Wyndy made the least move to ask her to dance, which she was both happy with and annoyed about. Instead, they were discussing whether horses or killer whales made the best mounts.

Well, obviously the answer is that giant wolves make the best mounts. But why are we torturing our crown princess, exactly? Somebody remind me how this benefits the kingdom? And don’t tell me it builds character. I already have enough character.

Sir Hargest could clearly dance, and was able to keep up well with Sionia. Wyndy noticed that he still had on his archery semi-finals medal. He was more the talk of the town than the actual winner, an equally dashing young orc named Garteek, who was also on the dance floor.

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Oh, gods. Myla's marketing is getting to me. Maybe I can trade her, and she can run the kingdom and I'll run a fashion brand.

Sionia and Hargest were interpreting the three-step courtly dance in innovative ways. Innovative in how to dance that closely to each other, and in a dance that didn't require contact of any parts except the hands.

Would those two just get a room already? We need to implement an ordinance against overt flirting during state functions.

Sionia and Hargest were now spinning each other quickly around the dance floor, wrapping and unwrapping from each other with every twirl. Wyndy noticed that Hargest had the attention of many of the female creatures at the ball.

It isn't that Sionia gets the coolest guys. It is that she finds a guy, then declares him to be the coolest, and all the other women believe her!

Myla and Bedo joined on the dance floor. They danced the dance in a more traditional style, just hands touching. Up until Bedo gave Myla a long kiss.

Why does my father put up with this?

She glanced to where her parents were sitting, only to see the two of them looking each other in the eyes and rubbing noses. It was so cute. After all this time, it was still obvious that they adored each other. Was that his hand reaching for her waist? Wyndy felt nauseous just looking at it.

Oh my gods no! Not my parents too. Could the gods please make them stop? What kind of example do they think they are setting for the impressionable youth of our kingdom! How is there justice in this world when I am sat here between the hunting bros while our prisoner is kissing our high priestess and my parents are acting like teenagers. They’ve been together twenty-three years – they have no right to act like this!

Wyndy hazarded another glance at her parents, only to see her father kissing her mother’s neck, while she giggled.

Why am I made to suffer like this? This is a festive occasion. How dare they do that! I hope my friends don’t see them. Oh, gods, Sionia noticed them and is smiling about it. Now her and Hargest are rubbing noses. Please gods make it stop.

Then Wyndy realized that the gods would not make them stop. The gods had no interest in doing so.

The problem is the Equinox itself. It starts spring, and spring makes everybody go crazy. It is the Great Mother, with her birds and her bees, putting these thoughts into everybody's head. No wonder the population had been growing so quickly. This whole Equinox thing is just a fertility festival! Next thing you know they will start using pictures of bunnies and eggs to really get the point over to the people. When I’m on the throne we’ll have a much smaller festival at the Equinox, and instead put more into the Winter Solstice, which is a much more respectable festival.

“Yes, I get that horses are dependable companions, but a killer whale is just that: a killer! It will attack your enemies and attempt to eat them. It is like having another Surf Brother at your side! Your horses would lose in a battle with killer whales.” Sir Krdknre was arranging the vegetables on his plate to show sea-battle tactics as Rassler looked on as he seemed to be trying to figure out how human horse cavalry would fare against sea elf killer whale cavalry in battle.

Sionia passed Hargest off to a trusted acolyte so that he could continue to dance, and she headed toward the platform at the end of the hall, as it was her time to begin singing. A light shone on her, and she began to sing a slow goblin love song. The crowd on the dance floor grew.

Time to make my escape, thought Wyndy.

She batted her eyelashes at a handsome orc male at the next table. Wyndy knew he was a friend of Bedo's at the University of the Northern Lights. As instructed by her eyelashes, the orc university-male came to ask Wyndy to dance.

Rassler didn’t look pleased with her departure.

Well, he’ll have a chance to think about what he has done, Wyndy thought as she stepped onto the dance floor with her new partner.

And she was still on the dance floor three songs later when Sionia introduced the Elven Dance of Chaos.

“Thank you, thank you all for coming. You've been a wonderful audience,” Sionia began. “And you all look great! So much style in this room. This may be the most fashionable hall in all of the continent of Wendir!”

This brought many cheers and some amount of posing from the audience.

“I'm sure you all remember the Elven Dance of Order from last year,” Sionia continued, as her words brought more cheers and a certain number of gasps to the room.

“This year, we are going to dance the other side of the cycle – The Elven Dance of Chaos.”

Excited murmurs broke out across the room. She glanced at her parents, and saw that her father was staring at Sionia as if he could incinerate her just by looking at her, which indeed he actually could. But Sionia was still alive and he hadn't moved to stop her, so Wyndy thought that a good sign.

“Now you are all familiar with Limbo, a place that is neither among the heavens nor among the hells, but a place where elemental chaos reigns supreme! If you are sent there, it is a place that is hard to escape from, with only a narrow and low exit that you must cross with only your feet touching the ground of Limbo. You must lean back, and no other part of your body can touch the exit. Only if you can obtain true Balance, can you leave Limbo!”

The crowd cheered again, especially the elves. Attendants began clearing out the center of the dance floor, and two large orcs holding long swords moved in.

Sionia continued, “Among the forest elves, we fear this Limbo. We are told we might get trapped there if our sorcery goes awry. But we train to escape it, through the Dance of Chaos.”

Another cheer went across the room. Wyndy was getting properly nervous though. Last year's damages had run into the thousands of gold, and Wyndy had promised her father that Sionia wouldn't repeat that this year.

The orcs with swords stood six feet apart, and pointed the swords at each other. They then lowered the swords to the height of their navels, as one of the fashion acolytes motioned couples to form a line. Sionia began singing as the musicians played a fast-tempo song from the southern elven lands.

Behind her, Wyndy saw Sir Hargest taking off his jacket, preparing to join the line of people dancing under the swords.

She said to him, “First you try to best the orcs at archery. Now you think you will beat the elves at their traditional dance of chaos?”

“Limbo!” yelled Sir Hargest, and the battle was joined.