The first thing Cooper noticed when he woke up was his rather fucking massive headache. What the hell happened? He remembers finding the dungeon, And then running to the Guild. He had managed to convince a few soldiers to stake it out, but they insisted he come along as a guide. What happened after that? Someone...someone stopped them. Ah, that's right! The duke's son had heard about it, and cornered them about 'trying to steal the opportunity'. Wouldn't believe that they just wanted to take a look, and started ranting about all the levels he'd get by killing a core. Cooper thought that was utter bullshit. Even [DUNGEONS] with only a few rooms were incredibly powerful. One that was strong enough to make artifacts, and smart enough to use them as bait? The man would be dead before he came within twenty [ROOMS] of the core. They left for the forest, camped the night and-

"Hello elf boy."

What the fuck? Cooper's eyes snapped open. He was lying in the room he had originally discovered, lying against the way. That's right, Sullivan had been dumb enough to cast an explosion spell in a confined space. Albert was sitting on his stomach glaring intently into the middle of the room. The elf lifted his head to see who was speaking. Maybe one of the soldiers had come back for him?

"My metaphorical eyes are up here dummy."

That was a wisp. A talking wisp.

What the actual fuck.

----------------------------------------

Suffice to say, Apollo could have handled that a little gentler. Especially considering the screaming.

Did you really have to insult him first thing?

Her wisp quickly responded in the affirmative, and Lasair sighed. Elf boy's screaming had calmed down a bit now, but he had pulled out his dagger. Lasair supposed that was a reasonable reaction when you woke up in a magic fire cave.

Apollo, can you please get him to calm down.

"Hey, elf boy, care to stop screaming so we can talk?"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON."

"Guess not."

Well, that could have gone better. Maybe just wait for him to calm down. Lasair waited for a minute or two until the elf stopped having his panic attack. He still had his dagger drawn and aimed at Apollo, but progress was progress.

"Now can we talk?"

"How the fuck can you speak?"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Yes."

A good start. She told the wisp to ask about the soldiers and mage.

"So, who were your buddies."

The elf hesitated before answering.

"Knights of the Dungeoneer's Guild. I recruited them to scout this dungeon. The noble tagging along was not my choice."

"Why do you want to scout this place?"

The elf had a look of shock on his face, like someone had just told him they wholeheartedly believed that the sky was purple.

"Wha- It's a [DUNGEON]. Y'know, the giant magic murder caves? Specifically designed to kill and consume adventures? Ringing any bells?"

"Nope. No murder here. Just fire. Lots of fire. I'm made of fire and even I can say it's probably too much fire."

"Well what about that [ARTIFACT], huh? Those things are bait to make adventures risk delving a dungeon."

"Vanity, my friend. All vanity."

This received another shocked look.

"A wand worth a whole mithril coin was just for vanity?"

"A what coin? We've only unlocked bronze, silver, and gold."

"Mithril. There's a hundred bronze coins to a silver, and a hundred silver to a gold. Finally, a hundred gold to a mithril."

There were some big implications to that. Assuming that one bronze coin was about a dollar, one mithril would be one million. And that wand had only taken her an afternoon to make. Could she just shatter the economy? More information was needed. Apollo, get back to interrogation.

"What makes [ARTIFACTS] so valuable? They're cheap to make."

"[DUNGEONS] usually place them in incredibly dangerous rooms, to make it easier to kill adventures. As a result, there are only a few dozen in the whole kingdom. Enchanters can replicate the effects to a certain point, like my dagger. But nothing beats weapons from a dungeon. Wars are fought over those. Hell, the duke who runs my village is only a noble because he managed to pilfer one when he was younger."

That was...enlightening. Lasair could crank out several artifacts per day, and each was valuable enough to make someone a noble? She held quite a bit of power in her metaphorical hands.

"Have you already sold the [DRAGON'S BREATH WAND]?"

"No, but I got a guy who knows a guy. Knows a lot of guys in fact. His name is Julian. He's a trader, He's got people who owe him favors all over the kingdom. Once that sale goes through, I'm a rich man."

"Well Mr. rich man, care to make a deal?"

Apollo, what are you doing? What deal?

The wisp sent back a placating feeling through the bond, telling her to be patient.

"What kind of deal?"

"Quite simple really. You have connections, we have artifacts. You like money, we dislike adventures trying to kill us."

Oh. Oh. The little wisp was a genius. Apollo floated over to the chest that housed the [SILKEN FLAME].

"A quality artifact, as good as the last one."

The elf pulled himself up the ledge, his beast perched on his shoulder. Opening the chest, he removed the [SILKEN FLAME]. Lasair could tell that the man couldn't do magic, but his eyes still lit up at the sight of [FLAME-TOUCHED MANASTONE]. He held it reverently, before placing it in his satchel. Apollo floated into his point of view, ready to seal the deal.

"Well?"

"Yeah, This will do. These kinds of things are so rare that I might be richer than a good half of the kingdom's nobles. What's my side of the bargain?"

"Act as a voice to the outside world for the dungeon. We're not opposed to adventures, just ones trying to kill us. And we won't kill them. The rewards stay the same for defeating them anyway. So, what do you say...Mr. Ambassador?"

The elf smiled.

"You've got yourself one hell of a deal."