CHAPTER 71

Olivia was returning from a meeting with several of her Hospitallers, and was looking forward to spending an evening with Katarina. There was some curiosity over what sort of lesson the Lady Cardinal Gabrielle had set for her charge, and she wanted a chance to apologize again for taking advantage of Katarina's drunken state the night prior. She also wanted to see if she could get the stubborn woman to talk about her sister. She knew that Katarina had been assigned the responsibility of hunting down her sister, and she wanted to make sure this wasn't driving her to do something irresponsible.

Olivia frowned. Likely, the woman would stubbornly clench her jaw and prattle on and on about duty. Olivia didn't care about duty, what she cared about was Katarina's well-being. There weren't any other Witch Hunters on the continent of Hesperia, but two or perhaps three could be requested from Rothgar, or other lands to lessen Katarina's load. There was no way she could hunt down every witch on the continent by herself. She'd just attained the rank of Justicar, there was no sense in sending her out to her inevitable doom.

Her hand fell on the latch and her eyes widened. The door was locked. Katarina hadn't locked her door before, was this some payback for the night previous, or was there some other motivation?

Olivia withdrew the key from her pocket and slotted it in. Well, she'd find out soon enough.

She opened the door as quietly as she could, and entered the sitting room. Her eyes immediately went to the bedroom door, which was also closed, and her eyebrows rose. This was also something new. Olivia pressed her ear to the door but couldn't hear anything, so she quietly unlocked the door and peeked in.

Katarina was embracing another woman, hands cupping her face, as if they had just kissed. There were no doubts whatsoever as to what they were doing. Olivia shakily closed the door, miraculously avoiding making any noise, and left Katarina's apartments, remembering at the last minute to lock the door behind her.

Olivia was shaking, and her heart thundered unsteadily in her chest. The hallway swam before her eyes as she staggered towards her own apartments, passing a woman in the hallway that was dressed in a black dress that hid her feet. Over and over in her mind she replayed the scene she'd spied in the doorway, mentally comparing it with her own lovemaking the previous night. Katarina had only indifferently returned Olivia's kisses, and hadn't touched her at all, whereas the two women were affectionately embracing. The stark contrast was like a knife in her breast, and she needed to get back to her room before she started bawling like an idiot.

After a long cry and a short rest, Olivia decided to take her dinner in the dining hall instead of in her room. She didn't have much of a choice in the matter, as a particularly important Cardinal Priestess was attending all the way from the Duchy of Nauders, an important Anglish asset. Olivia would be required to attend as Lady Cardinal. She cleaned herself up, made herself presentable, and showed up at the dining hall.

The Cardinal Priestess was a willowy woman with shimmering silvery hair, shockingly pale skin, and violet eyes, marking her as an albino. Olivia nodded to herself as she remembered; all of Nauders royalty were albinos. In some parts of the Anglish Empire albinism was considered a heretical mutation, but Darnell was much more flexible, and accepted Nauders without condemnation. On the other hand, Nauders themselves could be prickly about how they were addressed, and- Olivia's thoughts cut off as she focused on the woman that smiled demurely, dressed plainly, and laughed lightly. The Cardinal Priestess had been the woman with Katarina, she was certain of it.

Her mouth dropped open in shock. Across the Anglish Empire it was widely accepted that as long as a relationship was consensual and conceived in mutual love, anyone could couple with anyone. The Yamato rejected same-sex pairings, considering them "fruitless" because no offspring could result with such a union. The Yamato had an obsession with carrying on the bloodline, so it made a sort of sense- at least for them. The Duchy of Nauders also rejected them, but in far more rigid terms: Same-sex pairings were disgusting and offensive.

A horribly vindictive idea began to bloom, and Olivia immediately squashed it. She liked to think she wasn't a malicious individual, and there was no reward in ruining the life of a Cardinal Priestess, much less a noble of Nauders. That would damage relations between Nauders and the Anglish Empire irreparably.

She found herself standing outside Katarina's door after dinner, head whirling. What should she say? How should she act?

"Come on inside." Katarina called, and Olivia froze for a moment, but opened the door and stepped into the room. Katarina was indifferently dressed in a housedress and a simple wrap, and was working on a piece of leather, of all things.

"What- what are you doing?" Olivia asked, and Katarina raised an eyebrow. "Stupid, really." She replied. "I had a canteen rip some of its stitching in Blackwall. Decided to fix it."

Olivia nodded, and sat across the table from the Witch Hunter.

"You-" Olivia began, and Katarina let out a sigh. "You made two mistakes." Katarina murmured as she stitched the leather, never looking at Olivia as she spoke. Olivia's head whipped around to stare at the Witch Hunter.

"The first is something I've warned you about several times." She began, and pulled out a pair of scissors and cut the twine she had just stitched and appraised her work. "You didn't knock." She stated flatly, and set the circular piece of leather down. "The second one is you forgot to lock the bedroom door on your way out."

Olivia let out a shaky breath. Katarina started methodically putting her tools away into a leather roll.

"Olivia, I forgive you for last night." She began, getting up and moving to an armoire, "I'm not saying I'm not interested. But if that's something that you want to share with me..." She paused, with her back still turned, "Then I need to know, irrevocably know that I can trust you."

"You can." Olivia replied.

"Can I?" Katarina wondered rhetorically.

Olivia nodded, and rose to her feet. "Absolutely you can trust me." She stated firmly.

Katarina let out a short sigh. "There's two things you can do right now to prove it." She replied, turning around.

"Anything." She replied. Katarina nodded. "Don't worry, it's not onerous. I just want your copy of the key to my room, and you to start knocking."

Olivia nodded, and handed over her key to Katarina's room.

Katarina smiled. "Good. Let's have a glass of wine and a proper conversation." She remarked casually, and then stopped. "Well, first." She pointed to the carpet near the wall. "There's a magical listening device over there." She looked at Olivia. "I don't think it was you." The Lady Cardinal shook her head fiercely.

"Did they get- whoever did that, do you think they got anything damaging?" Olivia asked, and Katarina raised an eyebrow. Olivia put her hands on her hips.

"I've known it was there from the very beginning." Katarina reported casually. "I'm a Witch Hunter. I can sense magic. The fuck did they expect to slip past me?" She rolled her eyes at this. "I can "turn it off" by using my antimagic field."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, and Katarina gave her a curious glance.

"She's from the royal house of Nauders, Katarina." Olivia began, "If that- if what you were doing got out in any context, it would irreparably damage not only the Anglish Empire, but it would catastrophically ruin her life as well." She shook her head. "If you've been careful and suppressed that thing- whatever it is- then there's no need to worry."

Katarina smiled at her, a warm and friendly smile, and nodded. "Ah, that explains your mood." she observed thoughtfully.

"You think she and I made love." She trailed off. "I am a sister to her, and she to me." She finished, and eyed Olivia. "As for the rest, I've been quite careful, and I only disable the field when I sleep, or when I'm not here."

Olivia scanned the carpet where Katarina had pointed, and after several long minutes, she spied a metal pin stuck into the carpet.

"The pin?" She asked, and Katarina muttered an affirmative while she retrieved a bottle of wine and glasses.

"I leave it there because if I were to remove it, or break it, they'd know I knew about it." Katarina explained, and set the glasses on the table. "Now come over here and have some wine with me."

She poured, and slid a cup to Olivia's side of the table.

"There are some things you should know." Katarina advised, and pointed at the chair opposite her. Olivia seated herself and sampled the wine experimentally.

"Hmm. Quite good." She complimented, and Katarina nodded.

"First, you need to understand that I'm a hunter, and my prey is people." She explained curtly. "Dress it up however you like, but I was trained to hunt and kill other people. I've been doing it for ten years. Ten years of hunting down and killing people." She grimaced. "Oh, we gloss it over and we call them Witches. But most of them are just ordinary scared people that've discovered they can use magic through no fault of their own. It's my job to kill them."

Olivia compressed her lips at this pronouncement.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm fine with serving the Golden Lady." She offered in a conciliatory tone. "But when someone comes into my room uninvited, the first thing I think of is my gun. I am behind enemy lines and in a state of constant readiness." She smiled, then. "So please: Knock."

Olivia nodded. "That's reasonable. And I'm sorry I haven't up until now."

Katarina nodded. "Accepted."

"I never would have pictured you side by side with a member of the royal family of Nauders."

Katarina laughed. "We attended the Preux Academia together. We were roommates and friends." She explained. Olivia raised an eyebrow. "For someone who rails at being used and manipulated, you are very connected, politically."

"I hardly think so." Katarina replied, and refilled her cup.

Olivia finished her cup, and gestured at the bottle. Katarina gestured back, and Olivia refilled, took a breath, and jumped right in.

"Tell me about your sister, Katarina." Olivia murmured.

"No." Katarina's response was quick and curt.

Olivia's mouth twisted. Katarina was so thorny. She'd thought that perhaps the past few days she'd gained a rapport with the woman, but every time she felt like she'd gained some ground with her, she found herself pushed back.

"What was she like as a child?" She asked, taking a sip of wine.

"I said, 'No'." Katarina responded flatly.

Olivia looked up at her, a troubled expression on her face. "Not even a little bit?" She asked plaintively.

Katarina seemed to struggle with herself. "You should know more about her than I. We only spoke very rarely."

Olivia shook her head. "I have no responsibilities over the mages in this area. My responsibilities follow the districts along the eastern coast."

Katarina's mouth firmed. "Surely there are records-"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't want records. I want to know what you know. You were twins, right? Which of you were older?"

"You really won't let this go, will you?" She snapped, and Olivia recoiled for moment. Her face firmed, and her voice strengthened.

"Well, I was curious at first. Who is older, who is younger. What you two used to play or do before you came to the church. Just idle conversation."

Katarina's brows lowered even more. "You think I want to talk about those things?"

Olivia shook her head. "I think you need to talk about them."

Katarina shook her head. "No, I don't. She has made her choice." she turned her face away and stared out at the sitting room, as if something had caught her eye.

Olivia blinked. "We were not talking about that, my dear. Truth in fact, I did not want to talk about that. Why did you bring it-" She paused. "I know you're hunting her." Olivia confirmed. "You can recuse yourself and take a different assignment. No one will think less of you for it."

Katarina shook her head.

"So... You don't wish to think of her as family anymore?"

Katarina shook her head. "She made her choice, and I have a responsibility to respond to that choice." She replied flatly. "It's an assignment." She added curtly, jaw tight. "I would have done it regardless."

"Are you upset with the church because of this?" Olivia asked quietly. "Is that why you're so ... dismissive of protocol?"

Katarina barked a laugh. "I am not upset with the church- at least as far as my assignments are concerned- The church has done nothing wrong. She made her choice, and I have my duty."

"Oh, Katarina." She whispered sadly.

"What do you want from me?" Katarina asked bluntly.

"You asked me that before." Olivia chuckled.

"I am serious here." She said and pushed her chair away from the table. "You've been uncommonly affectionate towards me, ever since I got here. I'm not an idiot. I know how I am seen. This amount of attention is unwarranted, unless there is an agenda."

Olivia blinked, and then smiled, relaxing. "If I told you 'I am affectionate towards you because you are very beautiful and alluring to me', I am guessing that you would think I am lying." She offered, and Katarina nodded at that.

"Nevertheless, it is the entire honest truth. You are singularly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Not just your body, either. Your strength of will, your casual disregard for all of the rules and protocol, your single-minded focus on duty- these are all beautiful attributes and you demonstrate them unswervingly. You've won my heart because you're not intimidated by me."

She took Katarina's fingers in her hand and ran her thumb across the tips. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Katarina shook her head. "It's very difficult to believe, My Lady."

Olivia's face softened. "I hate it when you do that. My name is Olivia."

Katarina didn't say anything to that. Her mouth worked.

"I don't know what I will do when I find her." Katarina finally whispered.

Olivia smiled tremulously. "It's probably wrong of me to say this, but I will anyway: I think you should do what you feel is right." She paused for a moment and made herself say it. "Even if it goes against the will of the church."

Katarina raised an eyebrow. "Ware your words, Lady Cardinal. You're treading on dangerous grounds."

Olivia stood, still holding the Witch Hunter's hand. She moved around the table to stand in front of the Witch Hunter, and pulled the taller woman to her feet.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"You've always introduced yourself as a servant of the Golden Lady, never as a servant of the Church, did you know that? Yes, we keep records of that, too. It pisses us off when you do it, but your devotion is without fault. The choice you make will be the best one, I'm sure of it. Now you should get some sleep. You've got a busy day tomorrow as well."

That night, Olivia woke up to Katarina crying softly in her sleep. She embraced the larger woman, who seized her like a drowning man would seize a piece of driftwood, and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman as she sobbed into her bosom.

Olivia stroked her hair and comforted her the best she could. Eventually Katarina calmed down, and Katarina fell asleep again, and Olivia fell asleep soon after, wondering what sort of adventures her charge would bring her on the morrow.

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Olivia came into Katarina's room the next evening, thinking of dinner plans.

She stopped up short; the Witch Hunter was lowering her gun from her position on the divan. On the table next to her was a carafe of wine and a silver cup was on the floor. A large tome lay opened on her lap.

"What-" she began, startled.

"You didn't knock." Katarina replied shortly, settling her gun on the divan next to her and picking up her book.

"Would you really have shot me?" Olivia asked, her heart in her throat.

"You?" Katarina asked, without looking up from her book. "Not intentionally." She remarked dismissively, and turned a page. "Pull up a seat." She added with a negligent wave.

Olivia instead stood there, willing her heart to settle in her chest. "What are you reading, there?" She asked curiously.

"Cyrillus dropped it off for me." She replied, and held it up for the Lady Cardinal. "Supplications to the Nine Heavens for the Litanies of Glory."

Olivia blinked. "I'm not familiar with that work." She remarked doubtfully.

Katarina glanced at Olivia briefly. The woman radiated uncertainty and uneasiness. Likely Olivia hadn't expected a threat of hostility from her. She should have, Katarina mused. She'd warned the woman explicitly enough.

"Pull up a seat." Katarina repeated. "And grab a glass, if you like. I managed to get my hands on some De Cazanove Citrus and it's spectacular." Katarina invited. Olivia's eyes widened.

"That's an extremely rare vintage." She replied, puzzled. "How did you manage that?" She asked, and Katarina laughingly waved her hand indifferently again.

"Pure accident. I struck a bargain with the Alhambra family for a glass of this; they thought I wanted it all. And they delivered." She replied. "You gonna get a chair or not?" Katarina insisted after a moment. Olivia wrung her hands briefly and pushed a chair near to the divan.

"'The Litanies of Glory' is a subset of clerical powers the Goddess grants some of her followers." Katarina explained as the Lady Cardinal seated herself. "It's how I was able to kill so many of the blasphemous in Ardeal." She added, and picked up her cup and tried to take a drink. Finding the cup empty, Katarina picked up the dusty bottle and refilled her cup.

"I see." Olivia replied, taking the cup and taking a sip. Her eyes rolled approvingly at the flavor. "What do you hope to learn?"

"The final mystery to Glory." Katarina replied, turning a page. "I've already gained the other Litanies, but I cannot figure out the last."

"Do you need to?" Olivia asked, taking another drink.

"I hope you're not planning on drinking all of my wine." Katarina warned dangerously. "There are fates worse than death, you know." She growled, retrieving her cup from the other woman and taking a generous swallow, eyeing Olivia over the rim.

"To answer your question, yes, I need to learn it. The final mystery is the strongest." Katarina replied, her mind mostly occupied with the text. "I've wondered for months why these litanies have been revealed to me- after all, a Witch Hunter doesn't need them- but I also cannot deny that they have been useful." She explained as Olivia took the cup back and took a swallow. "The problem is complicated. One aspect is that the Litanies of Glory haven't been explored for centuries." She gestured at the book. "The Golden Lady does not share these particular litanies often." She added. "Another is that this author speaks in riddles and poetry." She explained with an arched eyebrow and a vexed gesture at the pages.

To Olivia, the discussion was academic. As a bureaucrat, she had no need for Goddess-granted powers. She had no enemies to smite, no walls to break, no monstrosities to put to the sword. She paused, and went to drink the wine, and discovered the cup empty.

"The final reason-" She stopped and looked at Olivia. "Do you know the purpose of the great golden bowl at the heart of every church?" She asked curiously.

The Lady Cardinal shook her head. "I've no idea." She replied. "It's just... You know. It's what we've always done, for centuries."

Katarina smiled, remembering the chambers in the Temple of the Lily. "It's a brazier, of course." She paused, took the cup from Olivia, and refilled it from the bottle, emptying it. "Once, it was filled with the blaze of Glory, the eternal fire that signified the presence of the Golden Lady in the temple. The flames of Glory were eternal, neither magic nor illusion. Only those challenged to walk the Path of Glory could approach it. They would thrust their hand into the flame, and if the Golden Lady found them worthy, they would be able to withdraw their hand, unburnt from the fire."

Olivia's eyes were wide at this, and she took the cup back and drank several swallows.

"When a new church or temple or cathedral went up, a consecrated and sanctified bowl was installed, and one of those touched by Glory would take a flame from the central brazier and carry it to the new church. There, the brazier would alight from the flame the priest or priestess carried." She paused. "The eternal flame of Glory lit across all the lands of the Golden Lady, binding everyone together." she murmured reverently. She rubbed her chest idly, as if she'd gotten heartburn.

"In any case, I hope to unlock the final mystery of Glory, if I can." She finished briskly.

"When was the last time you prayed to the Goddess, Katarina?" Olivia asked. "Perhaps the mystery will be revealed through prayer."

Katarina glanced at Olivia, who sheepishly showed her cup, empty.

Without changing expression, Katarina bookmarked the page she was on and closed the book. She set the book on the low divan and rose to her feet, plucking the cup from Olivia's fingers.

With the ease of long practice and her own impressive strength, she picked the Lady Cardinal up out of her chair. Olivia struggled, letting out a terrified shriek as Katarina manhandled the woman, tossing her over her shoulders.

"Put me down this instant, Katarina!" Olivia shouted, beating her fists against Katarina's back and kicking her feet wildly. Katarina ignored her pleas and instead captured Olivia's feet, and then leaned forward so Olivia slid off her shoulder. As Olivia fell, Katarina straightened, raising her arms so Olivia didn't strike her head against the floor.

Katarina held Olivia's ankles in the air, while Olivia shrieked breathlessly and pawed at the carpeted floor with her hands. Her long dress bunched about her hips as she kicked her legs, struggling in the Witch Hunter's implacable grip.

Katarina held her there for several minutes as Olivia struggled and yelled, ignoring both, until Olivia's strength flagged and she quieted.

"Put me down, Witch Hunter." Olivia demanded. She wasn't feeling so well. All the blood had rushed to her head and her head swam with vertigo. There was also the shock, horror, and shame that Katarina had overpowered her so easily, and that her dress exposed her legs and hips. She had never felt so powerless in her whole life.

Katarina ignored her.

"Did you hear me, Katarina? I said, 'Put me down'. I demand you do so at once." Katarina didn't respond, and suspended as she was, she couldn't see Katarina's face.

There was a moment of stark realization that washed over Olivia, a true revelation that there was a fundamental difference between herself and the other woman. Olivia had treated Katarina as an equal, as a Lady Cardinal, someone that shared the same values and beliefs and opinions, but this shattered that illusion. Katarina was not like her.

For Olivia, negotiation, discussion, and persuasion were her tools. She spoke, cajoled, bribed, manipulated, and compromised to achieve her goals, but for Katarina, there was only naked force. When faced with a problem, Olivia was quick to think of deals and arrangements and agreements, but for the Witch Hunter, there was no room for negotiation or parley. The first response was always brutal, physical, and violent, like with the mage the other day, when they were in the tub. A true terror stole through her, then.

"Katarina, please. I don't know why-" She began, but that was rewarded by Katarina bobbing Olivia up and down, her head brushing the carpet with each dip. Olivia let out another terrified shriek and planted her hands on the carpet should Katarina let her fall.

"I warned you, Olivia." Katarina finally said in a quiet voice. "The 'fate worse than death', right?" She explained in a voice that was laden with dry humor.

"Please, Katarina." She breathed, choking back a sob. Suddenly, before she had time to think, to draw a breath to shriek, she found herself hoisted higher in the air. The whole room whirled around her, and for a second it felt as though she might vomit. By the time she was able to think clearly, her feet were planted firmly on the carpet, where they belonged.

She looked up at the Witch Hunter's face, Katarina gazing back at her impassively as Olivia took a mental stock of herself. She was unhurt, though her hair was a mess; her face was tear-streaked, she was dizzy with vertigo and her heart thundered madly in her ears. Katarina herself was unruffled, and hadn't even broken a sweat.

"You brute." Olivia complained as she smoothed her dress over her hips.

She glanced down and noticed Katarina's hands opening and closing slowly. She looked back up at Katarina and saw a smoldering anger settle into the Witch Hunter's expression.

Katarina brusquely pushed past Olivia and grabbed her coat and hat, and without a word, stepped out of her apartments.

A momentary confusion filled Olivia. What? She was leaving? Where was she going? Olivia scrambled to the door and glanced up and down the hall. Further down the hall, she saw Katarina shrug into her long coat as she strode away, hooking her broad hat onto her hat without breaking stride.

A confused thought- is she leaving the Church?- raced through her mind as she scrambled to follow after the Witch Hunter.

For Katarina, there was no thought, there was no reasoning, there was only her instinct and the anger that simmered in her breast, anger borne of frustration, of powerlessness. Katarina had been trained since she was a child to subsume thought into action. She burned with savage irritation.

She'd only wanted to toy with Olivia a little, to show she was upset over having her bottle emptied, but instead her anger had bloomed in her breast when Olivia had demanded Katarina put her down, and then had the audacity to claim ignorance. Likely the Lady Cardinal had thought her tamed. Well, she was no simpering lap-pet, to cajole and coo for affectionate pats and table scraps. To think, she'd started feeling something for the woman! She strode onward, anger burning in her heart, heedless to her direction.

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Olivia ended up following the Witch Hunter as she left the grounds of the Alstroemeria. The Witch Hunter marched onward aggressively, and Olivia immediately considered alerting the guards to take the Witch Hunter into custody, but dismissed it. Katarina hadn't taken a horse; and she'd left her weapons behind, it didn't seem as though Katarina had planned on leaving the city. Olivia did stop at the gate and gather several guards to accompany her, just in case.

She caught up to Katarina as the woman entered the Garrison. Ordering her guards to follow her, she chased after the Witch Hunter, deeply regretting the long march through the city. She was nearly spent.

Olivia was beside herself. Katarina had singled out Nadette, the woman in charge of training the various warriors that came to the Garrison, and challenged her to a match. Olivia was panting, sweating, nearly delirious with exhaustion after a three-mile hike across the city, and here Katarina was, locking swords with Nadette, trading blows as if the trek had been nothing at all.

Nadette clearly had the upper hand, knocking the Witch Hunter away again and again, but Katarina kept picking herself up and jumping back into the fight. Finally, Katarina went down and could not get back up.

Nadette helped the woman up, and they traded words. Olivia dearly wanted to hear that conversation, but she couldn't catch even a single word.

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As they fought, as Nadette's sword moved and arced and blocked Katarina's, Nadette's mind was turned towards her opponent. She'd been able to read her opponents' moves since practically the beginning; the shift of a foot to presage a thrust, the bunching of a shoulder to betray an incoming thrust, an obvious feint set up to try and catch her unawares.

While her body moved at the speed of instinct, her mind cast itself forward. What did Katarina's thrust presage? Would she try to lock swords with her? Katarina was certainly stronger than she'd been as a sixteen year old woman; would Nadette have to step back? Strike at the flanks?

Katarina's sword caught hers and slid. Nadette noted that in her dispassionate, disconnected way, and her mind tossed up several reasons why. Katarina's skill with the sword had slipped. Easy enough to justify, she was a Witch Hunter, her skill lay with the gun, not the sword.

Again, Katarina tried to lock blades, but this was easier to avoid; Katarina's footwork was wholly wrong for that maneuver. A trickle of anger slipped through her mind; The Witch Hunter was uncharacteristically sloppy. She stepped to the side and kicked the other woman's feet out from under her as she sailed past.

Katarina hit the dirt and stayed there a fraction of a second too long. She sprang up and reengaged Nadette again. Whatever it was, something was wrong with the Witch Hunter. She was sloppy, making obvious mistakes. Mistakes she thought she'd beaten out of Katarina ten years prior. It was clear Katarina was emotionally compromised.

Nadette was filled with disappointment. She'd successfully taught Katarina the 'Is of the Warrior', the ability to disengage the mind, to move at the speed of reflex and instinct rather than the speed of thought. You could only achieve this if you refused to allow emotion to affect you, control you, take charge of you. Someone in the grips of their feelings was incapable of fighting properly.

Suddenly, it was as if her eyes were opened. Katarina was covered in sweat. Far too much sweat for the fight's intensity. Her blade jittered, and her footwork was uncertain. Her eyes were glazed over, cloudy, as if her mind was turned inwards on something dreadful. Cyrillus and Alayne were right.

Nadette sighed with disappointment, stepped back and sheathed her sword.

"This fight is over." She stated flatly.

Katarina blinked, her eyes focusing on Nadette seemingly for the first time. Nadette clamped her lips together tightly. "Finally. There you are." She mocked. "Nice of you to show up."

The younger woman glowered at her and Nadette responded by lifting an eyebrow at her.

"So it's true, then." She decided, and touched her fingers to her head briefly. A shame; she'd liked Katarina. Maybe it wasn't too late; she at least hoped so.

"What? What's true?" Katarina demanded warily.

"Come see me in my chambers. We'll have us a little talk."

Nadette's suite of rooms could scarcely be called such. It was unadorned, plain. It looked more like a cell than the home of the most powerful paladin in recent history. War banners were hung on the walls, banners of defeated enemies. A shelf of books, all on military tactics and famous generals lined one wall.

"Now will you tell me what you couldn't tell me in the yard?" Katarina asked irritably. Nadette eyed the woman as her hand restlessly brushed the hilt of her saber.

"Katarina..." Nadette began, and stopped. She was no good with subtlety. Further, she could sense someone waiting outside, perhaps listening in. She wondered if Katarina could. She used to be able to.

She switched tracks.

"Do you like living, Katarina?" Nadette asked, moving to a small cabinet and pulling out a pitcher of cooled water. She poured herself a glass and drank it off quickly, she poured a second and returned to her desk and raised an eyebrow at the other woman.

"What a stupid question." Katarina replied brusquely. "What does that even mean? How is this relevant?" She demanded. Nadette raised an eyebrow.

"It was a simple question, Witch Hunter." Nadette replied. "Do you like living? Do you enjoy it? Take happiness from it?"

Katarina shook her head, baffled. "Living is living." She replied flatly. Nadette sighed. "Are you happy?"

Katarina blinked a few times, eyeing the paladin warily. Nadette sighed, and took a swallow of water.

"You needn't answer the question with your mouth, Katarina. You've already answered it well enough with your body. So here's a real question that I do want answered: Do you want to continue to be a Witch Hunter?"

Katarina's face went through a series of expressions so quick it was stunning. Bafflement, anger, confusion, and there it was, fear.

"Of course I do, Nadette." She retorted hotly.

"Cyrillus told you of the requirements for elevation to the rank of Justicar." Nadette began, and then stopped. "One of the requirements is that there must be consensus between himself, myself, and.." She rolled her eyes and waved her hand "Whoever the Torchbearers decide to foist on us." She settled her glass on the table. "But the only consensus we've arrived at is that you're..." She trailed off, and then let out a short breath. "...unfit for further duty."

Katarina's brows lowered. "What." She stated in a voice that was flatly furious.

"You heard me. Unfit." She gestured. "I saw that myself, in the yard. You've got the thousand-yard stare of someone who has seen too much of the battlefield. Your mind is starting to prey on itself." She made a gesture at the Witch Hunter. "And don't try that sophistry where you think you can convince me otherwise. I was marching across the battlefield while you were still paddling around in your mother's belly. Believe me when I say I can see it."

"You talked to Alayne, didn't you?" Katarina replied in a flat voice.

"Where did you get that idea?" Nadette replied. "Cyrillus was the one that pointed it out to me. I didn't want to believe it." She paused. "But yeah, Alayne told me, as well. We're friends, with a mutual concern in our pupil." She added, and Katarina's anger rose up. Nadette could see it in her figure.

"I didn't want to believe it." Nadette added. "I didn't believe it. But I saw it in the yard." She sat forward in her chair. "I looked in your eyes and you were not there."

She gestured to the jug. "If you're thirsty, there's water." She remarked dismissively. "We want to help. I think I have an idea that might work." She paused. "It worked for me, at least."

"And if I refuse?" Katarina began dangerously, and Nadette barked a no-nonsense laugh. "You stop being a Witch Hunter and you're sequestered until you do agree to treatment." She replied. "The difference is after the treatment you won't be allowed anywhere near a weapon for the rest of your life."

Katarina sighed at this. "What sort of treatment?" She asked.

Nadette plucked at the edge of her desk restlessly. "It takes an amount of magic and incense. An excruciator from the Inquisition will be there to supervise, since it was developed from the Inquisition's techniques, but really it'll just be you and a confessor, someone who will guide you through the process."

Katarina rolled her eyes. "You know, the last time someone used incense on me, I ended up dying."

Nadette gestured indifferently. "You seem to have gotten over it." she added helpfully. "But I've seen this type of anger before, Witch Hunter." she explained.

"What do you know of my anger?" Katarina retorted, and Nadette made some ghastly expression on her scarred face. "More than you know." She replied.

"We exist in the sword, Katarina." Nadette explained. "We walk the path of violence. In front of you is the frustration of inaction." Nadette added, raising one of her hands. "You're a warrior that cannot go to war. It frustrates you."

Katarina nodded at that. "That obvious, eh?" She asked sardonically.

"The violence from your past claws at you, too." Nadette offered, in a lower voice, holding up her other hand, and pressing them together, palm to palm.

"You've been trained to kill from a young age." She explained. "And from the age of sixteen on, you've killed, what? A double dozen? A hundred? A thousand?" She asked rhetorically. "We dress it up in flowery terms, but killing is killing." She murmured.

Katarina gave the paladin a bleak look. "You've seen right through me, it seems." She replied tiredly.

"It's in your stance, the way you swing your sword, the expression on your face." Nadette replied simply. "You learn to pick up on these things- whether the enemy is scared, or angry or in pain." She paused. "Our past atrocities haunt us, Witch Hunter." She picked up her cup and drank her water.

"So what should I do?" Katarina asked, and Nadette gave her a horrific smile. "Should? I am not in the business of 'should', Katarina." She mocked, but gestured with her empty cup.

"You could get back to work. Kill enough, and maybe you can get into heaven before it crushes you." She offered. "You might also think about the Baptistery." She added. "The purifying waters of the Goddess." She looked to the Witch Hunter. "It helps, sometimes."

"I go there, and... what?" Katarina spat. "I spill my guts to someone, some random fucking stranger? What good will that do?" She snarled.

Nadette shook her head. "The confessor is there to listen." She fixed Katarina with a piercing look. "Our wounds fester in the soul. Talking is a form of expelling that poison. Through her, the Goddess will hear, and forgive you. Then you are baptized, ritually cleansed. It helps to let the horrors go."

Katarina let out a tired sigh. "All right. I'll do it."

Nadette nodded, and pointedly avoided looking at the door to her quarters. "I believe I saw that Lady Cardinal of yours in the yard, as we fought. You should speak with her." She encouraged.

Katarina nodded, and Nadette could sense whoever was beyond the door, likely the Lady Cardinal herself, withdraw.