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Chapter 9 - Fun Had by All

Chapter 9 - Fun Had by All

The next morning, Sammy made her two clients dress up for her as yet unrevealed plan. Jenna wore a worn brown dress with an artistic patch on one of the long sleeves. She had a pair of matching shoes and a white scarf. A pair of ponytails were pulled extra tight above each ear, making her face sever in a comical way. Sammy wrapped the scarf tight around Jenna’s neck, trapping the ponytails under it.

Dista wore a pair of extra baggy green pants with red suspenders, clearly the only thing keeping them from dropping around his ankles. A light blue, equally oversized shirt billowed over his chest and sagged from his arms, one shoulder almost slipping off his shoulder, even with the suspender strap trying to keep it in place. A pair of reddish-brown boots looked out of place because they seemed to be the right size and well taken care of.

Sammy just wore her usual pillaging clothes, patched and worn and somewhat dirty. She packed up the belongings she wanted to take into a backpack and made sure everything in her refuge was settled for an extended absence.

“Okay, we’re ready to go. You, stupid noble, carry that pack there. That’s bookcase one. Jenna, would you please carry that one? It has bookcase two. I’ll carry bookcase three.”

Dista glared at Sammy once just for good measure and then picked up his assigned burden, muttering, “She asked Jenna nicely. Why can’t she ask me nicely too.” He almost sounded like a petulant child complaining about his sister. Jenna grinned at him.

“You’re a stupid noble,” Sammy answered, her back to him. “Why should I be nice to you?” She did not wait for an answer, rather strode down the hall, through the junction circle and down one of the exit halls. Dista and Jenna hurried to follow, though Dista still had a bit of a limp.

“I told you before, I’m not a noble,” Dista complained when they caught up at the door to the sewers.

“Yeah, yeah, right,” Sammy said, checking to make sure no one was outside the door. The one-way looking glass showed a deserted tunnel. “You’re probably just making some stupid noble-ish persnickety distinction.”

“You like the big words, don’t you?” Jenna laughed, elbowing Dista and winking at him.

“You’re the only ones I can use them on,” Sammy said in a pleasant tone. “It’s fun, even if he is a stupid noble.” Opening the door, Sammy waved them through. “Hurry, and be quiet.”

Sammy made sure the portal secured and then led the way down the tunnels for slightly longer than an hour. Coming to a ladder leading to the street above, Sammy said, “Let me make sure it’s clear. Be right back.”

Jenna nodded, but moved into the dark. If the girl was going to betray them, this would be the moment of truth, in all likelihood. Several tense moments passed. The slightly stagnant air of the sewers carried very little smell one would associate with a sewer. The air actually smelled fresh with the clean ionized odors one associated with a sun shower.

Sammy dropped back to the tunnel floor. Keeping her voice low, but not whispering, she said, “Okay, it’s clear for the moment. Hurry.” She did not wait, but started climbing the ladder again.

Jenna climbed up right after her. When Sammy cleared the manhole, Jenna used an amplification phrase, boosting her staph amplification. Flexing her ankles, she flew the last distant up the ladder and thirty feet into the air. Pirouetting in the air, she took in the alley. It was deserted except for Sammy. She dropped to the road, one foot on either side of the manhole.

Sammy looked at her for a moment and then nodded. “Hurry. It would be best if no one notices that we used this alley.” She moved to the open end of the dead-end alley and peeked out. Jenna took a moment to help Dista out of the manhole and then replaced the cover.

Sammy glanced at them when they came up behind her. “Here’s the deal. We’re going to wait in line for the Baron’s judgment. This will get you into the judicial courts that are part of the castle. Is that going to work for you? Can you contact whoever you need to contact with that, or do I need to do something else?”

Dista stared at Sammy for a moment and then nodded. “No, that will do very well. An excellent plan, in fact. What is our reason for wanting the Baron’s judgment?”

“You want to marry my sister and I think you’re only doing it to get my inheritance. My sister is infatuated with you, so won’t listen to me. I want the Baron to secure my inheritance so that you can’t steal it from me. That should be good enough for us to get in at least. That’s all we need, right?”

“Yes, very good. You okay with this Jenna?”

“I can play the part, I think,” she said, a slight flush to her face.

“Good,” Sammy said. “Your name is Jen, Jenna. You are Distrameasaurus, but I call you Lizard, sometimes Lizardbreath. Got it, Lizardbreath?”

Dista grimaced, while Sammy grinned.

“I’ll call you Darling, Darling,” Jenna added. Dista looked surprised and then blushed, a pleased smile touching his lips.

“Excellent,” Sammy said, nodding her approval. “You’re both good actors, so this should go smoothly. You might even kiss, but that might be too much for you Jenna. I know I wouldn’t want to kiss Lizardbreath, for obvious reasons, and not just the smell. Get a toothbrush.” She held up her fist threateningly at Dista.

Jenna slipped her arm around his waist and put herself between them. “Enough, already. I agreed to come before the Baron, so just leave my Darling alone.”

Sammy stopped, her mouth open wider than Dista’s. After a moment, she shrugged, “Fine, sister, but you could at least use my name. Sammy, S-A-M-M-Y. Got it?”

“Sammy. But just leave him alone.”

“Well, let’s get going,” Sammy said, a thrill of excitement giving her goose bumps. This was really fun.

They moved out of the early morning shadows of the alley and walked down the street. A few minutes later they came to the side gate to the Baron’s courthouse. The gates were shut, as is usual in many places and many kingdoms. Several people already stood waiting at the gates.

A merchant in gaudy clothes stood opposite an old woman in homespun garb. They crossed eyes once, but turned away with up turned noses. A quartet of entertainers in their artisan costumes sat in a small circle facing each other. A farmer with his two sons and a small daughter stood third, the man glancing about nervously as if expecting to be assaulted. The little girl clung to her father’s leg, wide eyes staring at the entertainers. The two older boys watched the old woman and merchant, snickering and elbowing each other each time the two snubbed the other.

Sammy stepped behind the farmer and crossed her arms. She sent a scathing look at Dista and then looked away, pretending to ignore him. Jenna clung to his arm, much to his discomfort. But then he smiled and hugged her back.

Time passed and the sun peeked through the spires of the lower city, attacking and banishing the early morning fog. Sammy swallowed, looking out over the clearing rooftops. “Ghosts come out in the fog, don’t they, Jen?”

Jen stopped snuggling and glanced at Sammy. A moments puzzlement and then an enlightened smile grew on her face. “Of course they do, dear Sammy. And they come after little girls who try to steal their sister’s happiness.”

Sammy stared at her and swallowed.

“Do they really?” the farmer’s daughter said, her ever huge eyes growing still bigger as she shifted her gaze to Jenna. “They won’t come and get me, will they, Daddy?” She tugged urgently at her father’s leg.

The farmer threw a disgusted look at Jenna and then patted his daughter’s head. “They won’t come after you. That silly woman doesn’t know anything.”

Sammy nodded urgently. “See, I knew you didn’t know what you were talking about, Jen. Besides, I’m trying to protect my sister’s happiness, so they wouldn’t be after me anyway. They might come after you, marrying that besotted, thieving idiot. I tell you, he just wants my inheritance.”

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“So not true,” Dista said, pulling Jenna closer to him. “I want to marry her because I love her. You think only of yourself, so you wouldn’t understand something like that.”

Sammy laughed and threw her arms wide, “Well then, why did you complain so much about having the Baron make sure of it? Hmm? I want to know.” She spun away. “Anyway, I don’t care what my foolish sister does, even if she insists on marrying someone the likes of you. As long as she doesn’t lose my inheritance for me in the process.”

They fell silent and more people began to show up to wait for the opening of the Baron’s court. The sun cleared the horizon by a fist and the gates finally opened. The line moved into the courtyard to stand before a small table with three clerks, a man between two women.

They asked the merchant a question and the old woman began a tirade of the treacherous dealings of said merchant. Wearily, the man asked the old woman something and the merchant began listing a slew of her faults. A full ten minutes later, they were waved past the table to wait on the steps leading to a squat building a hundred feet into the courtyard and off to the left.

Already looking frazzled, the clerks listened to the entertainers, who explained their purpose in a grandiose, but rather succinct manner. They even managed to elicit smiles from the clerks and guards behind them. From what Sammy could tell, they basically wanted a license to perform but had been denied because the licensor did not like them personally.

The farmer approached the table wringing his hands and glancing around. Sweat beaded on his face. Sammy watched him, nervous herself because she could not think of a good reason for this much nervousness. She could see that the clerks, and more significantly, the guards behind them had arrived at the same conclusion.

“What is the purpose of your petition?” The blonde woman to the male clerk’s right asked, her eyes watching the man closely.

“Um,” the man glanced at the guards, his lips twitching.

“Daddy, it’s okay,” the little girl said, her eyes upturned to look into his face when he looked down at her. “Momma said we can trust the Baron, right? Don’t be afraid.”

The farmer hesitated a moment but then bent down and hugged his daughter, his eyes shut. He did not move for a long moment, squatted there.

“Ma’am?” the older of the two boys said, perhaps fourteen or fifteen years old. “My father is a timid man. Maybe,” he blushed, “I can answer your questions if that’s alright?”

The woman nodded.

“Our mother has gone missing, and we wish to petition for help.”

“That should be handled by the local authorities,” the woman said. “Please bring it to them first.”

“Ma’am,” the boy said, flushing but looking her in the eyes, “we think that those who took mother are being protected. If we go to them, they will kill her for sure. Please, the Baron is our only hope. Who knows what they are doing to her even now,” the boy pleaded, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “They may even have eyes here,” he whispered, glancing around. “If they find out we’re here, they will kill her for sure.” His voice got lower still, “Or worse.”

The three clerks exchanged glances and then the black-haired woman to the man’s left nodded once. She turned to one of the guards behind her and whispered something to him. He nodded and led the family straight into the courthouse, bypassing the merchant and old woman, both of whom began to complain loudly.

Sammy caught the old woman’s gaze and glared her to silence, mouthing one of the Camp key words she knew. The woman looked startled, but then subsided, saying a word to the merchant who also quieted. She angled a glance back at Sammy, a strange expression on her face. Sammy cocked her head and then grinned big at the woman, who turned away with a disgusted expression.

Sammy and company stepped up to the trio of clerks. The man sighed and looked them over. His eyes caught on Dista’s outlandish clothing and he sighed again. “What is the nature of your petition?”

Sammy struck a pose and pointed at Dista, “He’s trying to steal my inheritance.”

The man sighed again. “What is the nature of this attempted theft?”

“He says he loves my sister and wants to marry her,” Sammy said, crossing her arms and falling silent as if that explained everything.

The man waited a full moment for the rest of the explanation. “Oh. That sounds like a normal thing to me,” he finally said, a quirk of a smile at the couple.

“But! But he had to use some kind of strange magic on her,” Sammy cried out. “Look at him. Who would want to marry something who doesn’t even know how to dress?” She glared at Dista, something she had become quite good at. “Plus, the inheritance is in her name, but Father said I was to get half when I was old enough. I know he won’t give it, or will spend it before then. I want the Baron to write up a binding contract protecting my money. That is my petition. Lizardbreath cast a spell on the judges too, I know it, cause they won’t even listen to me.”

The man sighed a third time, but a quirk of a smile touched the corner of his lip. “Very well. The Baron is a fair man, and his judges not easily bewitched. Move over to the steps.”

Sammy nodded. “I knew that a noble like the Barron would be wise.” The three walked over to the steps and Sammy said under her breath to Dista, “That last line. You are so going to pay for me having to utter such tripe.”

Jenna buried her face into Dista’s shirt to muffle her laugh, pretending it was a cry of anguish. Dista lowered his lips to her hair to hide his own amusement. To be honest, both had been flabbergasted that Sammy would say such a thing about a noble.

A half hour later, the line on the stairs moved into the courthouse. Going past a pair of ornate double doors, twice the height of a tall man, they moved into a short hall that ended in another set of double doors, equally as ornate and tall.

Sammy padded on the plush carpet, her eyes turning this way and that in awe of the splendor around her. The gray speckled purple carpet, the hard wood walls and furnishing, the twin fireplaces on either side of the short hall, everything seemed to attract her eyes at the same moment. Accustomed to this kind of atmosphere, Dista and Jenna did not react immediately, but then did their best to follow Sammy’s example.

Through the second set of double doors, they found themselves in an antechamber with curtains over the far wall. The merchant and old woman went through the far curtain as the three entered and the muffled sounds of them arguing soon filled the room. Sammy almost laughed as she pictured those two court-regulars fighting it out. Funnier still, she knew that the old woman would be distracted by Sammy’s presence and would almost certainly lose this particular round.

Sammy sobered, staring at the curtain. The old woman would not dare do anything in the Baron’s direct domain, the castle and courtyard, but she would certainly inform the Camp. It might get tricky leaving. Sammy began running through the different things she needed to prepare so they would not catch her. She did not want to become part of that shady organization, nor did she want to die. But those would be her two options if they caught her.

The entertainers were led through the curtains, but their case only took a few minutes. Sammy thought it should have gone on longer, because she had not gone through all the needed plans for her escape.

Following the court guard through the curtain, Sammy stared around her thoroughly impressed. The black and white marble walls, floor and pillars, the four corners of plush tapestries tacked loosely to the ceiling, the five chandeliers each with uncountable lights, all making her feel small and insignificant.

The judge sat raised on her judges’ stand, looked down at the petitioners. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with some internal light and her white judge’s robe sparkled with many points of silver.

“Come forth and state your case,” an old man cried out, his voice seeming to fill the room with more sound than Sammy thought reasonable.

“This was your idea, Sammy,” Dista said, a sneer in his voice as the youth hesitated, unsure of herself. He was going to enjoy the moment to the fullest.

Sammy shot a look that said something like “DIE” and turned around, squared her shoulders and marched to the half-railed pedestal she thought looked like where she should “come forth” to.

In a defiant tone, she half turned a bit so she could point at Dista without twisting too much. “That man right there is a jerk.”

The lady on the judge’s seat looked down at her severely, a frown forming.

Sammy turned to face the judge fully, hoping she was not going to get into too much trouble for this. That woman looked scary. She stared up at the judge, who seemed to move further and higher than before, fire billowing behind her. Really scary.

Sammy swallowed, and held up her hand and cried out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me for lying.” She glanced back at Dista and Jenna, “Not about him being a jerk, ‘cause he is, kind of, but that’s because he’s a stupid noble. He’s supposed to meet with the Baron but got attacked. He hired me to get him into the castle safely.”

The judge stared hard at the couple. Jenna sighed. She had enjoyed clinging to Dista in public while she had a chance. Releasing her hold, she stepped away from him and came to attention. “I present Prince Jerome ver Dista ky Ista, and request an audience with the Baron at his convenience.”

“Hello Daphne,” Dista said, a sardonic smile on his face. “Good to see the Baron has relented and allowed you to preside over the court. It suites you well.”

The judge looked shocked for a moment, but then schooled her face. “I see.” She glanced down at Sammy, who was staring at Dista.

Sammy struck a pose and pointed at the prince. “I knew you were making some kind of persnickety distinction, stupid noble.”

Dista’s mouth twitched. He had hoped she would stop calling him stupid once she had learned who he really was.

“You better pay me well for saving you.” Sammy crossed her arms, and looked away slightly, “Still maybe royals aren’t as stupid as nobles. That might explain you only being a little stupid.”

“It seems I have been somewhat exonerated,” Prince Jerome said. He looked up at the judge, “Lady Daphne, is it permissible for us to retire to the main house, seeing as this charade has served its purpose?”

“Of course, my lord.” She waved a hand at one of the guards, who moved forward to lead them out through a side door, which led down a long flight of steps and through a long tunnel.

Sammy turned her head this way and that as they walked through the well-lit passage. She could feel the tingle of glyphs without actually touching anything. This was pretty darn interesting. She so wanted to stop and investigate, but she did not think the guards would allow it.

She pounced on Jenna’s arm, keeping Jenna between her and the prince. “Jenna,” she said in a low voice that the guard would not be able to hear. “There are glyphs here. Can I look?”

Jenna shook her head. “Better not right now. Maybe if you ask nicely, Prince Jerome can work something out with the Baron.”

Sammy looked at Dista past Jenna. “Don’t wanna,” she pouted. “I don’t know that royals are as stupid as nobles. Maybe they aren’t as infected, who knows. But they’re guilty by association until proven innocent.” She let go of Jenna and watched the nearest wall go by as they walked. “And you tricked me.”

“We told you he was not a noble,” Jenna said, amused.

“Hmph,” Sammy harumphed her disgruntlement.