We heard him before we saw him: “…ungrateful, selfish Bigfolk I ever had the misfortune to meet! (puff) After all I did for yehs, up to an’ includin’ savin’ yer lives by givin’ yehs the last of me pixie dust (pant), an’ then yehs go an’ leave me all by meself?!”

“Max!” I exclaimed, surprised out of my worries by the sight of him. He didn’t stop flying when he reached us but instead buzzed around us like a giant fly might buzz around the leavings of a horse.

“You didn’t even tell me yeh were back!” Max continued, directing his comment at Gabby. “An’ you!” he said, pausing in front of me to glower. “Yeh had me thinkin’ yeh were gonna die! Here was me, drownin’ me sorrows in ale, an’ all the time yeh were jus’ havin’ a laff! Why didn’t yeh tell me—?”

“Maximus,” Gabby interrupted. “Why are you here?”

He spun in the air to face her. “Whaddaya mean? Where else should I be?”

“We’re not going back to Ulm. For a start, this is entirely the wrong direction.”

“Not goin’ back…?” Max repeated. “Where are yeh goin’ then?”

“We’re going,” I said, “To Pingo T’Ong’s palace, to find the Fracture.”

“Oh? A palace? That don’t sound too bad….”

“Maximus, you don’t understand. See that dark cloud up ahead? That’s over the top of the palace. It’s there because Pingo works with very dark magics. Unless my vision proves false, right now he’s in the process of summoning some sort of monster. We’re going to try to stop him.”

“Oh,” said Max. “Oh.”

“So the question is,” Gabby continued. “Do you really want to accompany us, or would you prefer to wait it out in a tavern somewhere?”

Max looked uncertain.

“Anyway,” I said. “I thought you might like it in Brelor. You could do worse than The Puking Orc as a place to live. It’s not so different from The Rancid Pusball that you’d really notice. So why do you care about going back to Ulm so much?”

Max’s uncertainty changed into something that looked like embarrassment but surely couldn’t have been. He turned away so he wasn’t looking at either of us. “I got a wife there,” he said.

“What!?” Gabby and I both said it together.

“Yeh heard me!” said Max. “I got a wife there! An’ I ain’t seen her since you came into me life! For all I know, she burned up in the fire!”

Once again I understood just how much bad luck I’d brought into his life. But all I managed to say was, “You have a wife?”

“Didn’t I jus’ say that?!”

“Maximus,” I said, unconsciously echoing Gabby’s formality. “Go back to Brelor. Wait for me there. If we survive this next little episode, we’ll take you back to Ulm. I promise.”

“Hmmph,” said Max. Then, “Nah, I’m still comin’ with yehs. If I don’t, yeh’ll end up dead for sure, an’ then where would I be?”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Of course not! Yeh’ll probably get me killed!” he said. Then he snickered a little under his breath. “But if it all goes true to form, it oughta be a hell of a ride!”

And with that, he plopped himself back on my shoulder and the three of us continued on our way.

It didn’t take very long after that for my worries to start coming back. And I had good cause; the path we were following was windy and narrow, with a steep drop on one side and a hill, nearly as steep, on the other. To my mind, the hill seemed a very good spot for someone to hide and roll boulders down on us from complete safety. The worst part of it all was that it looked like it would be like this all the way to Pingo’s palace.

“Max?” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind flying up and taking a quick look at the top of the hills for us?”

“What do I look like to you? An extra set of yer own eyeballs?”

“It’s important. See if there’s anyone looking for us.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

He understood. Muttering under his breath about still being tired from the effort it took to catch up with us, he did as I asked.

Gabby and I continued onwards and Max soon returned. “Nothin’ to see,” he grumbled. I nodded and sent him out again a few minutes later, then again, and again.

“Still nothin’,” he said the first time. “An’ again, nothin’,” he said the second time. “Good view, but nothin’ to see.” Then, “Saw some droppings. Wanna check ‘em out?” Then, “Nothin’ to report, except that The Puking Orc is lookin’ mighty good about now.” Then, “Still nothin’. ‘Cept that cloud is startin’ to look real nasty.”

Once I’d sent Max away again, I turned to Gabby. “He’s right,” I said. “There’s something wrong with that cloud. It’s the wrong color. And see that? It’s lightning, but there’s no thunder and it doesn’t seem to touch the ground.” It also seemed to suck the warmth out of the air, as if we were moments away from an ice-storm.

“It is fairly ominous,” Gabby replied.

“Orcs! Orcs! There are orcs comin’ this way!” This last from Max, who was flying very quickly towards us.

“Which way?” I asked at the same time as Gabby said, “How far? How many are there?”

“How should I know how far? What do I look like, some sorta measurin’ rod? Let’s just get outta here!”

“Maximus!”

He shook himself, grumbled a little under his breath and said, “Keep ridin’ this way an’ you’ll see ‘em for yerselves. There’s many, a dozen or so. Maybe four, five minutes away, maybe more. Come on, let’s go!”

More orcs. As if we hadn’t had enough trouble from them already. I was all for following Max’s advice, but Gabby didn’t look interested in going anywhere. So I stayed where I was and asked another question. “Was there anybody else with them?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. That small Bigfolk that likes his crossbow. Now are we gettin’ out from under this ‘orrible cloud or what?”

Thork Yurger, I thought, had caused me entirely too much trouble over the past few days. I looked around, seeking inspiration. And I found it. “Gabby,” I started.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Gabriella, I’ve got an idea. Take the horses and head back the way we came.”

It was the wrong thing to say. She drew herself up and said, “If you think I’m going to turn around after coming all this way—”

“Huh? No, that’s not what I mean,” I said, and told her what I had in mind. When I’d finished, I slid from my saddle and handed her the reins. “Hurry. We don’t have much time.”

She turned the horses and did as I’d asked.

I watched her for only a moment. “Coming?” I said to Max. Not waiting for him to reply, I continued, “Good. Keep an eye out. I wouldn’t want to run into an orc unexpectedly.” Then I scampered as quickly as I could up the hill.

Finding a likely spot, I hid and placed my back against a boulder that must have weighed maybe four times more than I did. I made sure I had enough leverage. “Max? I can’t see the path from here. Let me know when they arrive.”

Inwardly, I stifled a laugh. Not more than a few minutes ago I’d been worried that someone could have rolled boulders down on our heads, and now I was planning to do exactly that to my friend Thork Yurger and his orcs.

And it would serve him right, I thought. To not use such an obvious option was almost criminally dumb.

I didn’t have to wait very long. It must have been only a minute or so before the first waft of armpit stench told me they were close. Not long after, I heard the small sounds of movement, of metal scraping on stone. But I didn’t hear much else. They were being quiet, I realized, to avoid warning me away.

“Now?” I whispered to Max.

“Not yet,” he whispered back. “Twenty paces, maybe.” He paused briefly. “Fifteen.” I started to push, knowing it would take a little time. “Ten paces.” I pushed harder, understanding now that this boulder was actually very heavy indeed. “Five paces. Now, Gordan! Yeh gotta push now! Two paces! Come on, or yeh’ll miss ‘em!”

I shoved with all my strength. The boulder moved a little, then a little more, and then it went over. I turned to look, saw that the orcs had paused at the noise and were staring straight at me. But they were also staring at not just the large boulder I’d toppled, but also at the half-dozen smaller ones it had already dislodged. The orcs had time to cry out and then the boulders smashed into them.

They disappeared under a cloud of dust and stones.

“Yes!” I yelled. “How does a boulder crashing into your helmet feel! Take that, Thork Yurger! You’ll never point your crossbow at me again!”

I was ecstatic! It had worked even better than I’d hoped. I fully expected every one of those orcs to be no more than a sticky pile of mush. And when the dust cleared, I might even be able to pick through the ruins in the hope of finding a few weapons. Although by the looks of it, most of those might well be no more than twisted pieces of metal.

My adrenalin-fueled euphoria might have lasted all the way to Pingo’s palace if a voice hadn’t chosen that moment to say, “What, th-th-this one?”

I kept looking at the carnage, for a moment unwilling to even contemplate what those words might mean.

“I’m s-s-sorry, but it looks like you’re v-v-very much m-m-mistaken,” the voice came again.

“Shush,” I said. “Don’t spoil this.”

The dust had already started to clear. I looked at all those mangled orcs and wondered if Thork Yurger might be among them. He should be, according to what Max had said. But I couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Max, you don’t have to hang around here any longer,” I said casually. “How about flying back along the path for a while? You know, back the way we came.”

“Who are you t-t-talking to?” asked the voice. “Oh, that’s right. Your p-p-pet f-f-fairy. He can g-g-go. But it’s t-t-time for you to t-t-turn around!”

Max started to splutter about being called a fairy, but I shook my head. “Not now,” I muttered.

When he took the hint and left, I uttered a quiet sigh. I knew Thork Yurger wasn’t among the squashed, just as I knew he was standing behind me with his crossbow aimed right at me. Or at least another one much like it, as I’d given his first one to Gabby. And I still didn’t have any armor.

“N-n-now!”

It was time to face reality. I turned and found exactly the picture I’d expected. Except that Thork Yurger wasn’t alone. He was flanked by a pair of orcs that wore matching expressions of murderous anger.

I nodded at them as if to acquaintances passing on the road. “Ok. You got me. Now what?”

“N-n-now you get to m-m-meet my m-m-master,” Thork Yurger replied. As one, the orcs started towards me.