[Go people watching and write an ode to a stranger you see on the street.]

It’s currently 2:33 in the morning and no one is outside, but, whatever, because I don’t know how to write odes. So…

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“People watching”

“Stalking”

“Being a creep”

Jona could list off quite a few ways people termed what he was doing, but they were all incorrect.

“…and then there’s Carly! Do you know what SHE said?!”

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“Oh my god, I can already guess! Was it about the Thompson brothers?”

Jona mindlessly watched as the two valley girls walked along the park sidewalk, unbeknownst to his close proximity or intentions. The man smacked his lips as he designated the two as his next targets.

“I thought it would be, too! But no, it wasn’t. Trust me, you won’t be able to guess…but try anyway!”

“Hmm, well, if not those hot siblings, then…”

Jona sat on his haunches as the ladies approached his position, his arms at his sides like a T-Rex would have its own, careful not to make any noise.

“No, not even them!”

“C’mon, spill it! Don’t leave me dying of suspense!”

It was the moment of truth.

The two women screamed and retreated backwards as a figure jumped out at them from a thick bush. No…the figure WAS the bush!

“HAHAHHAHAHAhAAHAAA!”

The girls stormed off in a flurry of curses, mortified and irate at the man who was seemingly scaring people whilst disguised as a bush.

“Oooooh, that was great!” Jona wiped a tear from his eye. “Now to finish the job.”

The man pulled a machete out from the real bush he hid it in and chased after the girls.