Thankfully, Joe and Betty didn’t run into any more damn cockroaches. The cavern stretched on, alternating between wide chambers and narrow, claustrophobic passages. Finally, the path sloped upward, a steep incline leading back toward the surface.
Joe slumped against the passenger seat, exhaustion poking him in the chest like the class bully. He’d lost all sense of time down here; it felt like days since he’d clocked out from his shift at the supermarket, yet strangely, hunger still hadn’t caught up with him.
As they approached the top, Betty slowed to a crawl, easing forward so they could get a good look at what lay ahead. The coast was clear, but the landscape had transformed.
Gone was the wasteland Joe had expected; in its place stood the remains of an old town. Joe cocked his head as part of the terrain looked vaguely familiar as if he had been here in a dream he couldn’t remember.
Crumbling buildings lined what appeared to be streets, wide enough to accommodate a vehicle. Most structures barely reached two stories, their walls reduced to frames of brick and stone.
The remnants hinted at some lost civilisation—one that had tried, and failed, to survive on the surface of the Inferno. Joe shivered at the thought. Whoever had lived here hadn’t lasted long, but their outline of a town remained.
“What kind of life could survive here?” Joe said, analysing the ruins.
“Beats me, but looks like they didn’t have a good time of it,” Betty replied.
Joe scanned the area until he spotted a relatively intact building and gestured toward it. “There,” he said, hoping for a brief chance to regroup. He felt like he’d been through hell—literally—and his body was begging for even a moment of rest.
Betty eased herself toward the structure, parking out of sight from the main road. They faced the edge of town, ready to move at a moment’s notice, but hidden enough to avoid being easily spotted.
Joe let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes. For once, it wasn’t a gesture of surrender, but simply a rare moment of peace. Two minutes—that’s all he needed. Although apparently, Betty hadn’t gotten the memo.
“So what now?” she asked, clearly not reading the situation.
“Right now? I rest for a moment.”
“For how long?”
“Until I’m rested.”
Betty waited five whole seconds before she replied.
“Are you rested now?”
“For Christ sake!” Joe sat up and unclipped his seat belt. He obviously wasn’t going to get what he needed.
“Have I annoyed you?”
“Nope.”
“I clearly have.”
“Oh my god! It’s like having a maniacal cougar toddler! Just gimme a moment Betty!”
Betty stopped again, not immediately replying.
“I am not a cougar. Now what loot did we get?”
The loot! Joe was so exhausted that he had completely forgotten about the items he had collected during their confrontation with the fireroach.
Joe quickly opened his inventory, surprised to see he had gathered far more than he’d realised. Out of 40 available slots, roughly 12 were filled. At a glance, he had a decent haul, though about 8 of the items were just bottles.
Starting from the top left, he began examining each item, working his way down. The first three appeared to be small healing potions, or maybe they were drinks, or some kind of liquid—whatever they were.
Item: Level 2 Healing
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Description: Heals up to 10% of any physical damage.
The description emphasised physical damage. Joe paused, bringing his hands into view behind the inventory grid. They looked rough. He blinked, selecting one of the potions, and it appeared in his hand: a small, shiny bottle with a triangular base, a cork and a green liquid to match.
What’s the worst that could happen?
He popped the cork, guessing it was meant to be drunk rather than poured over himself. He was too tired to think twice.
He drank it down in one go. Surprisingly, it wasn’t bad—faintly apple-flavoured, like one of those sour apple cocktails. The effects hit almost immediately: the bags under his eyes felt lighter, the pain in his hands dulled a bit, and he even saw some skin beginning to heal.
“Huh,” he said, “that actually felt pretty good.” Good enough, in fact, that he grabbed another and drank it. And for good measure, he downed the third. Thirty per cent better? Oh, yeah. He could feel it.
Joe watched as his hands began to heal, new skin forming over the blisters, and the dull ache in his back easing as the wounds healed. He even felt a piece of glass slide down the back of his shirt. How had he not noticed that before, even after pressing against the seat?
He reopened his inventory to check the next item, and the sight made him feel like he’d just been kicked in the nuts.
Item: Level 15 Healing
Description: Heals up to 100% of any physical damage for levels below 15. Up to 10% for levels above 15.
What an idiot! He could have just used this and saved the weaker potions. Joe wasn’t sure what percentage of his body was injured, but if this would get him back to 100%, it was worth it.
He popped the Level 15 potion, which tasted like cherries, and felt what he could only describe as a full-body orgasm. His hands fully healed, his callouses vanished, and his fingernails immediately trimmed.
That was weird.
His whole body seemed to realign and strengthen, the aches and pains melting away. A comforting warmth spread through him, like being wrapped in a blanket by a fireside on a cold winter morning, sipping coffee and watching The Office.
The euphoria Joe felt was on a level he could only imagine was comparable to heroin.
Achievement Unlocked: Restore full health for the first time! +100 XP.
"Well, that was incredible," Joe said.
"You look a lot better. Not quite Dick Barker, but not bad," Betty commented.
"I have no idea who that is," Joe replied.
"Ugh. So, what now? Are you done staring at your imaginary screen?"
"Two more minutes."
Betty huffed, but Joe didn’t mind; he felt like he could run a marathon. Those potions were the real deal, and he felt good.
He continued exploring his inventory, noticing one more Level 1 healing potion and a couple of potions that promised to increase his focus—whatever that meant. Joe hovered over two final bottles.
Item: Level 10 Fire Bomb
Description: Engulf yourself in flames, damaging nearby enemies. Grants resistance to all fire damage for 60 seconds.
Yeah, no thanks. Joe had already had his fill of being burned. Still, he wondered: if it made him resistant to fire, would engulfing himself in flames hurt him? Unlike the healing potions, this wasn’t something he was willing to test out just yet.
The last “potion” wasn’t a potion at all. It looked like a slim bottle, but on closer inspection, it resembled a rolled-up piece of parchment—or maybe a morning newspaper, the kind that hits your door at 5 a.m.
Item: Level 8 Scroll of Freeze Bone
Joe chuckled at the name.
Item: Level 8 Scroll of Freeze Bone
Description: Prevents enemies from regaining health for 120 seconds. Cannot be used while Resonance Abilities are active.
Judging by the description, it was possibly something he’d have to read aloud. But was he even able to?
He knew from video games that you usually needed a certain skill level or specialisation to use scrolls like this. And at a mere level 2? No clue if he’d meet the requirements, and nothing to test it on. Probably best to save it for later, just in case.
Joe cracked his knuckles, ready for the real treasure. He’d purposely saved the last five items for this moment; they looked like weapons and maybe even some armour. The anticipation was killing him. Time to see what he had.
Item: Level 3 Pumpkin Scythe
Abilities:
* Harvest Slash: Deals moderate physical damage to enemies Level 3 and below. If the target is below 20% health, it reaps an additional 10% of their remaining health, capturing their "harvested" energy.
The scythe had a blade shaped like a sharp crescent moon, glowing with a faint orange hue that reminded him of a pumpkin’s skin. The handle was wrapped in dark vines, with a pumpkin face etched into the base.
“Really leaning into the Halloween theme, huh?” Joe said. “Who comes up with this stuff?”
He had to admit, he liked the look—and the abilities. He figured he could get a better feel for it in his hands, but then remembered he was still sitting in Betty. Suddenly summoning a giant scythe inside his two-seater Datsun might not end well.
The next item caught his eye for a different reason. That blasted stick! He ignored it for now, moving on to the final three items.
First up, the one he’d glimpsed briefly back in the fireroach pit.
Item: Level 25 - Guard of the Gold Eater Armour
Abilities: ??
Well, that was helpful. The armour appeared to be made of tarnished, golden-hued metal. Surprisingly, it was a full set—breastplate, shoulder guards with claw-like ridges, and greaves with interlocking scales.
The helmet was designed like an open maw, shaped to resemble the jaws of a beast. It looked regal, in a dark, imposing way. Something he’d have to try at some point.
The second-to-last item looked like a medieval crossbow.
Item: Level 3 Hand Crossbow
Abilities:
* Shoot Crossbow: The crossbow shoots.
“I hate this place,” Joe said under his breath.
He wondered if the crossbow came with bolts or if he’d have to scavenge for them. Knowing his luck here, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was bolt-less. He was pretty sure this whole place was just making fun of him constantly.
Finally, he got to the last item, the one he’d subconsciously saved because it looked the most promising.
A goddamn trident.
Item: Level 12 Trident of The Pact
Abilities:
* Return: When thrown, this weapon will return to the wielder. A pact must be formed with the trident for this ability to activate.
* Lightning Charge: Each successful hit adds +3 lightning charge.
“My very own Mjölnir... and lightning too!” Joe’s excitement spiked at the thought of wielding a trident. And at Level 12? He could have made quick work of that giant bug from earlier!
He checked himself, though. No point in getting too carried away. He was in a place that seemed bent on killing him or driving him insane—probably both. He wondered if the weapon would even be effective in his hands at such a low level. Who knows.
Only one way to find out.
Not a bad haul overall. Joe felt a little better about his situation. At least he had weapons now and a way to heal himself, even if he’d learned the hard way to be cautious with those potions.
He closed his inventory and navigated back to his main menu. It seemed wise to check his Infernal Resonance levels, remembering his outburst when he’d faced down the fireroach, practically daring it to kill him. He regretted dropping the scorpion cannon at that moment, but there hadn’t exactly been time to think.
Resonance Type: Infernal Resonance:
Wrath: 1% [Stable]
[0/2 Echoes]
Available Abilities: Fury Burst (Locked), Controlled Rage (Locked)
Despair: 10% [Stable]
[0/2 Echoes]
Available Abilities: Sapping Will (Locked), Endless Grit (Locked)
Madness: 15% [Stable]
[0/2 Echoes]
Available Abilities: Distorted Perception (Locked), Choo Choo (Locked)
Infernal Influence Unlocked once Resonance Mastery is Achieved.
"Ah… that’s not good,” he said, staring at the increasing numbers.
"Uh, Joe?" Betty's voice cut in.
“Just a second, Betty,” he replied, distracted. Just one near-death encounter with the fireroach, and these levels had jumped considerably. If he was going to keep having close calls like that—and he probably would—it could get out of hand fast.
"Joe?" she repeated, more urgently.
“I said, one second!”
"JOE, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, WE HAVE COMPANY."
Joe snapped to attention and glanced around, checking each window, then peered out the rear-view mirror. About thirty feet behind them stood a man, just… staring. He looked like he was decked out in full denim and a cowboy hat.