Betty bounced down the ramp like a drunk in a bar fight, her tires spitting out grit with each turn. The deeper Joe went, the tighter his chest felt. Heat began to slam into his face as he descended.

At the bottom, a shimmering wall of energy flickered in front of him, glowing like embers on the verge of catching fire. It looked like flames, but Joe knew instinctively it wouldn’t burn him if he went through.

Sweat had begun to sneak into his eyes as Betty’s hum of her engine deepened into a low, irritable grumble, like even she knew this was a bad idea.

Before Joe knew it, he was through.

No explosion, no flames. Just him, Betty and…nothing. The others? Gone. He could’ve sworn he saw people behind him, but now they seemed to be ghosts in the rear-view mirror.

Joe turned his attention forward. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it wasn’t this.

A vast wasteland stretched out ahead, sheltered by a sky that bled crimson and seemed to seep into the ground like an infection.

And there, stabbing up in the distance was what looked like a castle, sharp and black, spires scratching at the sky.

Before Joe could fully take in the sight of what looked like a shitty Hogwarts, something flickered in his peripheral. To the side, a figure materialised, draped in flowing robes that shimmered in the heat.

Joe squinted, wiping the sweat from his face, and without thinking, turned Betty toward the figure.

The heat cranked up a few more notches. Christ, it was warm.

Then, he saw it.

Suspended above the figure's head, glowing like a neon sign in the desert wasteland:

An exclamation mark!

Joe shook his head in protest of what his eyes were showing. "What the...?" The words tumbled out before he could process the scene. He stirred his head again trying to shake off the dizziness—or maybe the sheer insanity of this entire situation.

But there it was, clearer now:

Meet your Resonance guide.

Joe couldn’t help but let out an unsteady chuckle. Guide? Is he going to have a guide in this place? He rubbed his eyes and blinked again with the words vanishing.

Betty grumbled even more as he rolled her up to the robed figure. Twenty feet out, Joe killed the engine and stepped out into the furnace.

The atmosphere hit him hard, but the wasteland around him? Dead quiet. A red-stained desert, stretching out endlessly, nothing visibly alive. It reminded him of Arrakis from Dune.

He turned back to look at Betty and almost fell over. Hovering above her, clear as day:

Name: Betty Level: 2 Class: ? Race: Bulldozer

“Bulldozer? The hell you are. You’re a damn Datsun.” Joe fanned his polo top in a futile attempt to cool himself down as he tried to figure out what was happening.

More words flashed in front of his eyes, this time over his hand. He blinked, like a reflex, and there it was again:

Name: Joe Level: 1 Class: ? Race: Human

What the hell. How is Betty a higher level than me? I’m her bloody driver! Joe blinked hard again, and just like that, the text vanished. He stared at his hand, blinked again, and the words popped back. “Huh,” he said, examining his hand.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Joe’s turned back to the robed figure. As he got closer, he saw that the hood was pulled low—so low, it didn’t show a single feature. No eyes, no mouth, not even hands. Just shadow. Great.

Clearing his throat, he tried the usual route of social interaction. “Hello?”

Nothing. Not a twitch. Not a breath. It felt like talking to the customers at the supermarket.

This was all happening so fast. He still felt dizzy as he plucked up the courage to try another tactic that usually worked on the drunks asleep in the snack aisle.

“HELLO?”

Still no response.

Joe blinked, just once and with intent. And, of course, that’s when the figure stirred, lifting its head like it had only just realised he existed. The hood shifted back just enough to reveal a face beneath. Joe couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment.

It was just a regular guy, not the monster or ancient wizard he had half-expected. The face was younger with stubble clinging to his jaw, hair longer and sweeping across his forehead in a messy, casual sort of way.

He looked like a guy who might be hanging out at a coffee shop, not standing in the middle of a wasteland in robes.

“Hello.” the man said, voice as casual as if they were discussing the weather. “I am your guide, Terrence.”

Joe now really couldn’t help but laugh, and not a polite laugh either. “Terrence? Are you shitting me?”

The man nodded, as if this wasn’t the most ridiculous thing in the world. “Yes. I am here to show you the way of The Resonance.”

Joe looked around, he was sure he was being punk’d. “The Resonance? What is that?”

“Please don’t interrupt.” Said Terrence.

“Right…sorry…” replied Joe.

Although Terrence seemed normal, Joe sensed a strange, robotic vibe from him. His speech and general demeanour didn’t quite match what a normal person would be saying or look like.

He ploughed on with his almost scripted dialogue. “The Resonance is the way. Your new way of life.”

“Okay. And I ask again, what is this, Resonance?”

Terrence apparently wasn’t one for answering questions. He continued.

“You’ll need to stay sharp. Learn and adapt to your new way of living.”

As if on cue, something whipped past Joe’s torso. Joe instinctively ducked to the side as the ground beside him exploded in a cloud of dirt. His right ear began to ring as if he had just been assaulted by tinnitus itself.

“What the fuck was that!?” he shouted as he moved away from the impact spot and searched for the source of the attack.

Terrence didn’t even flinch. “That’s why you must stay alert.”

Before Joe could respond, a massive figure lumbered into view. Fifteen feet away, something between a man and a crab stood, claws snapping in the air.

“What the hell is that!” Joe groaned. The creature looked panicked, flailing as if it didn’t know where it was. Its whip-like appendage lashed out again, cracking dangerously close to Joe’s feet.

He jumped back, trying to gauge the creature’s reach. Adrenaline shot through him as quickly as the creature appeared. The demon that Betty had hit earlier was terrifying but this thing had an almost comical yet freakish demeanour.

“Focus,” Terrence said, “Look at your right pocket.”

“What?” Joe yelled, dodging another strike. “Are you serious right now?”

Terrence remained expressionless. “Look. And blink.”

Joe blinked at his right pocket, and a soft ding echoed in his mind, similar to the one earlier.

Inventory unlocked.

A glowing grid appeared in front of him. He could still see through it, could still make out Terrence and Mr. Krabs in the background, but his vision was cluttered.

He focused on the grid, spotting two items. One looked like a stick, but in the bottom right corner, something else gleamed. A gun? Joe blinked at it, and a box popped up:

Level 4 Item: Meat Cannon. Description: Fires chunks of explosive meat at 1000ft per second.

Joe didn’t think, he just blinked again. The grid vanished, replaced by a grotesque, fleshy bazooka in his hands. It trembled like something alive.

Joe managed to gasp and dry heave at the same time, looking towards Terrence for some guidance. Joe then noticed Terrence’s look.

For the first time in their brief interaction, the man showed emotion—surprise. He glanced from Joe to the crab-man, then back.

Before Joe could process the absurdity of the situation, the crab creature lunged, closing the distance.

It's claw whipped up, twisting, before it brought the appendage down in a deadly arc. Joe threw himself to the ground, landing on the Meat Cannon.

Its squishy surface cushioned his fall, although it had oozed what Joe assumed was blood down his arm.

Desperate, Joe aimed the cannon and pulled the trigger. The weapon recoiled violently, unleashing chunks of raw meat that splattered across the crab creature, drenching it in gore and puncturing its carapace.

The creature screeched, thrashing in agony—then, with a thunderous boom, it exploded, sending meat and crab bits flying in all directions. Debris rained down, splattering Joe’s head and torso in smouldering bits of white meat.

“Ow fuck!”

Joe automatically dropped the cannon as he realised it had burnt both of his hands. It flopped on the floor as he watched the skin from his hands melt slightly. Pain seared through as the shock of it hit him.

He looked up from his hands and stared at the gruesome scene in disbelief. Terrence’s expression remained stoic, although his eyes glinted with a tinge of surprise.

Achievement Unlocked: You exploded a Level 4 Crab. 500 XP gained.

Level 2 Unlocked: Main Menu Now Accessible.