The ground a few centimeters away from Selv’s head was black with smoke. Once again, Edmund missed his shot. But, it was not because he was a bad marksman.

“Are you alright?” Said the person next to him.

Uncovering her hood, the person was a woman in her twenties. She seemed to mind her bad hair because of the hood and fixed it while waiting for his reply.

“I’m fine, May,” Edmund replied, showing a dry smile which further worried her.

“If it’s too hard, I could the ugly part. Unlike you, while I do feel grateful, I don’t have that much attachment to him.”

May suggested something more than good-will alone. If he said the word, even this instant she would unleash her arrow and pierce Selv’s head or heart. But…

“No. I’m the one who has to do this. There’s a meaning in me doing it,” Edmund replied, raising his hand to stop her. He then moved it in front of his sight. It was trembling, far more than he had expected. Letting out a mocking snort to himself, he sought for people to lessen his burden

“You know, I thought I had prepared myself for this. But, isn’t this pathetic? My hands which about to take father’s life are trembling this hard. Killing own’s parent is really a horrifying thing,” Edmund said without taking off his gaze.

May and the people around did the same and listened to his confession. They knew how much Selv meant to him. He was his father, savior, and even God in a way.

Obviously, Edmund did not hate him. Far from it, he loved and respected the person. Thus, he decided to do this cruel thing which pained him more than anyone present, even Selv.

He will grant Selv’s wish even if it wrong and will sadden numerous people including himself as the result. His resolve was real. That was why he had gathered people with same belief, constructed plan good enough to trick Selv to this place, and willed to bear the cross as Selv’s killer.

Yet, this late in the progress, his emotion and memory got the better of him. At this point, his heart was crying and wailing. Once it was over, it would be impossible for him to contained it alone and showed to other people. Later, he might be crushed by the guilt and choose the worst possible choice for a human being.

That was why he needed someone to give him one last push in the back.

“But, you would still do it, right?”

May gave him the push.

“Yeah, even if the success and failure would do nothing good for anyone, I would still do it.”

Fortunate for him, the people who would give him a push was always by his side.

Since childhood, May had watched how Edmund changed over the course of his life until this moment. She understood the man known as Edmund better than anyone else. She was his childhood friend.

The pain he was feeling, she could feel it as if her own.

Despite saying she had not much attachment, she, too, thought Selv as someone important in her life. Of course, she also felt the pain and guilt. The difference was she had further control of her emotion. That was why she believed it was better for her to do the job.

“Then, lift your chest and do what you must. Don’t worry about a trivial thing. It doesn’t suit you who only know how to run straight,” she said and gave him a literal push in the back with her free hand.

“Thanks,” he replied, sending a warm gaze together as well.

May received his word with a silent and a shrug as if saying it was nothing much. The truth behind it was she did not have the confidence to receive it head on without letting him notice of her feeling. It was inappropriate to be happy in this situation.

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The feeling she held was something she hadn’t come in term with. So, she chose to keep it a secret and supported him like always for now.

After all, that was what Selv asked me to. May thought back the words Edmund’s father had spoken to her which stick the two together all this time.

She occasionally thought whether Selv knew of her unnoticed feeling since while back. Quite unbelievable but plausible was her conclusion every time.

Regardless of the truth, she was grateful to him for it. She might be unable to reply him back and even killed him. But, even after his death, she vowed to obey his request even if her feeling was unfruitful.

Like anyone else in the town, May also thought Selv as someone of great importance.

Edmund pointed his gun. With the help of May, he had regained his will. This time there would be no mistake. He would end this act which suffered many with the next shot.

Thus, he placed his finger on the trigger and pulled it.

He was floating in a calm water. Where was it? A lake? A sea? It might even be in an aquarium.

He was facing up but what he saw was still blue. This made him questioned whether he was floating or sinking. It could be either or neither because there was no way to prove it.

On the water in front was various sea organism such as fish, sea mammal, and jellyfish while only fish was seen behind. There was an unseen wall that separated the two side.

Water depth and pressure might be the name of the wall. He did not know and unsure. Does such wall actually exist? Wasn’t they just taking a distance from each other because he was there? Might be, but he did not know.

No, it was more like he did not care enough to think about it. With the gentle sound of the sea, he closed his eyes again.

His conscious was slowly drifting along the current, slowly going above. Which one was above? The warmer direction, one with much variety of organism.

The sun must be in that direction because of the temperature. Finally, he knew something.

Moving away from the cold, lonely space, he drifted to a warm comfortable place. The sea animals moved around in a circle, seemingly joyed from his presence.

He also overjoyed by their welcoming. So, he swam to them.

Left, right. Left, right. He moved his body rhythmically to move forward. Then, he finally noticed that he was a fish, like others around. His scales, gills, fins were the same as them.

Yes, he was not different than the people around. Why would he be different? He might have one or two difference, such as pattern or brightness of his scales, but it was common for any living being.

Traveling a distance seemed to be distant, he was close to the crowd of lively animals. But, before he did a something blocked his way. It was a transparent creature without eyes or body. Its head consisted of an umbrella with thin-long tentacles around it and arms which looked like seaweeds.

A jellyfish. One large enough to fill his entire vision.

He tried to pass it but couldn’t. it stopped him with its seaweed arms. He tried again only to repeat the same thing.

Why? Why does it bother him? He racked up his piscine brain only to nothing in mind.

Selv.

A voice of someone said that word.

Who said that? The jellyfish?

Selv.

It repeated. Never mind the place. With no vocal organ, how could it even speak? He did not know.

Nothing. He knew nothing about how it spoke or the word it spoke.

Selv? What was that? A thing? object? Animal? Organism?

Selv.

Right. It was a name. Whose? He did not know.

His? No, he was not Selv. Then, who was he? He was… don’t know.

He did not know who he was.

Who am I? he asked himself.

Could it be that he was Selv? Or was he someone else?

His head was rising in temperature. It felt heavier than it should be. He was supposed to have the answer, yet why?

Why did he keep questioning things? Couldn’t he just accept or ignore the whole thing?

No, he could not. He felt it was something he has to keep doing in order to be himself. So, who was he?

Lives.

It said the next word. This time with a heavier tone as if ordering.

Lives.

Another one came almost immediately.

Lives.

Another.

Lives.

Yet, another.

Lives.

With an increasing pace, the word was repeated.

Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives. Lives.

The stream of words caused him to feel sick. Could a fish puke? He felt like he could.

Despite using the word that held positive connotation, it only resulted in negative effects. It was as if it was cursing.

A curse. Yes, it was a curse.

It's words coiled around him like a vicious serpent, hurting him without mercy. Unable to endure the pain, he stopped swimming and began to sink.

Slowly, but surely, he was falling back to the cold, lonely place and further to an even extreme place. In here, he was also welcomed by the fishes, but in his ears, the word was still heard.

Live.

Urged by the temperature, he closed his heavy. His body slowly slowed its activity and he fell into a slumber.

Live.

Even then, the word lingered in his ears.