Oh no! How could this have happened to me? Today was supposed to be the best day of my life. Everything was set to be perfect. The new Perfection only online 15 was coming out. I had papa johns pizza, the papa supremo and the chicken bbq one, and blue flavoured mountain dew not to forget.I was relaxing on discord with my guild buddies having a jolly good time. Why did this have to happen?
[You have been successfully iseakied]
[Welcome to the world called: A place far far away]
[New Quest obtained: Why are we here? Just to suffer?]
“Hey, hey kiddo no need to cry. It happens you know. You got isekaied. You should be happy you know. You young bucks don’t know what’s good anymore.”
The definition of a middle aged crisis on a robot was behind me was trying to comfort me.At least that's what he tried to. he was a small robot shaped like a prism with one eye in the middle who floated the air in his disgusting shiny purple suit that would send anyone into a vomit frenzy. How could anyone think that's cool?
I closed my eyes and said,“Please leave me alone. I want to die.” I laid down in a meadow who knows where. A huge open grassfield streched almost to the horizon with a forest at the edge of it. Not a settlement in sight could be seen.
The robot only eye gave me a funny look and said,“Look, what do you gotta be so sad about bucko? You got the chance to be the the YOUNG,DASHING,HANDSOME WARRIOR that every isekai reader wants to be. You will have money, fortunes, land, possibly the whole kingdom, and all you have to do is defeat the great demon lord, and maybe the princess girly by the end.”he winked at me. Please take me away.
“Except, the system said I only have about a 0.5% chance of getting out of it alive.” I shouted at him
“That’s more chance than I had Sonny! GO GET EM!”
My back started hurting and I got up.
“Yeah. That’s it. you gotta that tiger in your soony. I know you will do it. You can do it. Believe uncle sam here. You got this in the bag ,it’s easy peasy easssy weassy.Just look the enemy in the eye and give him a far swashbuckling, and you will be the saviour of mankind.”
I didn’t know what to believe, but the truth that was I isekaied was one that I had to believe. Birds of tremendous size, ones you only hear in old mythos story, soared the air without a care in the world. If only i could be free like them and fly far far away...
I paused and composed myself, and said,”So let me understand,” I paused again,”You telling me that I somehow died choking on pizza and mountain dew?”
“It happens soony.Never seen that one though that’s for sure.” he started chuckling and had this distant look as if he was imagining me in and finding it beyond hilarious the way i died
“And that somehow the gods,who rule the universe by the way, decided that it was an excellent idea to give me,a neet who never had a job in his life ever, a second chance and isekaied me into this world.”
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“Well…Yeah.”
“And, that even more amazing, the gods thought it was an extremely wise idea to put me on a quest to save this world, instead of picking literally anyone else?”
Not to discount myself, but I am not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. I am about 5’8,not very intelligent, Decent grades before i dropped out of uni,but just “decent” enough. Introverted, 25 year old, single.I have made a lot of really good friends of which i consider to be family, but even than my social skills are a mess and i only got my friends through sheer luck.
I essentially don’t have much going for me. Hard to imagine a supreme god thought I was a good idea for anything much less for saving the entire world.Or this world i guess.Or multiple worlds. Who knows if they only live in this world.
“Wow, wow,” Uncle started speaking loud,”Don’t be like that bucko. I know where this is going. You are a Young and handsome man. The world is your oyster. No need to be so pessimistic. It's all about the grift son. The drive. That’s what’s important .In the beginning I had nothing. And now I have everything.I am a self made man. Look at me."he gave a little twirl and had the mos smug smile i could think off," It’s all about the grift. The jumanji. The “himayala” you know.”
I looked a slight cut on his suit. Why did I have to have him as my “guardian” angel.
“But in short,”uncle continued,”Yes. You are on a grand quest to save the world, so everyone can gather around in a campfire and sing yippe ki yay with all smiles.You are the ultimate. The apex. The predator. Or at least you will be."
i facepalmed myself in real life.
"Soon." uncle said
I felt like crying.
“Suppose I have the “himayala” you know. How do I get back home?” i asked.
Uncle opened his eyes real wide,“What? Why? Anyway, it don’t matter. As long as you have this grand quest, the gods won’t allow it. Even if somehow you found a spell or a portal to go back home the gods would just send you backhome again. But if you complete the quest. They could send you backhome if you wish.
I frowned. This entire thing is an ugly state of affairs. I just wanted to play with my buddies, and forget the world for a bit. Why did I have to choke on pizza and die? How does that even happen?
“What if I just don’t do anything? What if I just sleep all day and eat apples of trees?”
“You will die of a heart attack in 3 months. It’s in your first quest in very small grey letters at the bottom of the page.”
“Oh,” I let out, “So I really have to complete this quest no matter what?”
“Yep.”
I let out a small grunt and sat down dejected. This entire quest is impossible. 0.5% chance of winning? That’s not even in the realm of possibility. That’s a straight,guaranteed,no other way of looking at it, death sentence
I think uncle felt a bit sad for me, because he floated right next to me.
“Look, son. I feel like something very heavy lingers on your mind. I don’t know know what it is that you have backhome, but whatever it is i am sure it’s very important to you. Keep that thought in your head. This journey won’t be the easiest one,I can tell ya that. You are not the first adventurer I had been assigned as a “guardian angel” by the gods. I have seen many of em. A lot of them perish, true,” I gulped, ”Sometimes horribly too,” Why gods why. ”But, but most of them died because they were stupid. They got carried away, or they just never had the brains to begin with. In worlds like these ones where the gods don’t care much, they just get any random shcumck, they don’t care who it is. But you,” his head curved a bit to point at me,” I feel like you are different. As long as you listen to me, and don’t be rash, I feel like we will be an amazing duo.
I laid down once again. Uncle kept quiet. The wind fluttered and brushed against my skin, while the birds above sang in bird songs so beautiful that maybe could muster any man to do anything if he just sat down and paid attention to it.
I suppose I don’t have much of a choice. I will either die, or die. So I might as well die trying. I have a family backhome waiting for me. People who have relied on me for almost a decade by this point. I can't let them down.
“Okay, let’s do this.” I yelled
“BOuYAh!”