I looked at uncle and asked, “So where do we start?” Uncle looked at me with a smile and said, ”at the beginning son, That’s where, ”He winked and said, ”Do you remember all the stats ,and pop ups you saw before you got spawned here?”

My memory of everything before I got “spawned” here is beyond foggy. I remember waking up in a blue room where I saw three pink flamingos all arguing at each other over taxes and government regulations. Then, seeing that was awake, they all directed their attention at me and started explaining I had been given a second chance where they will send me to a new world, and will give me a guardian angel to guide me along. That is about it

I told uncle what I remembered, and he said, ”that’s it?”

“Was something else supposed to happen?”

Uncle, who looked like he was swimming in irritation ,said, "You really missed all the pop ups, and screens and stuff? Look at the corner of your sight and summon your mind power. This is an isekai, and judging by your isekai collection you know how it goes, son.”

“Look at the corner of your sight”, sounded like a line out of a cheesy sci fi movie, but there was indeed something weird out of the corner of my eye. There was a very tiny and vague black dot. Unless you stared at it you wouldn’t have noticed it. I tried “Summoning my mind” to open it and just like something out of an isekai novel, a bunch of menus popped up. It was the typical stat screen, achievement screens, notification screen, inventory, skill screen etc etc. There was nothing fancy to it. I could easily move from screen to screen. It was just like walking; Mysterious and done without the need to think.

“So what do I do here?” I asked. Uncle told me to look at the stat sheet.

Name: No one cares

Level: lol level 1

Class: Another “Warrior” again. At least they can change it after level 10.

Hp: 20/20

Mp: 4/20 kek

Skills:

None. Keep coping.

My eyes shot up at uncle ,“Why do I feel like you were the one who wrote this?”, uncle looked away and said,” No sonny boy, i am not in charge of writing stuff like that. I get the more boring parts. Might have been my grandson though. Ahaha, he is a little rascal that one.”

Strength: 4 could be worse

Intelligence: 2 out of 2 nothings combined

Stamina: 5 out of couldn’t be more average

Speed: 1

Accuracy: non existent

Luck: 1 you got me after all

?????????

?????????

Sub skill:

Alchemy: Non existent

???????

??????

“Did I really have to get one of the worse stat sheets in existence?” I shouted out exasperated with all the nonsense. Uncle said, ”you know it always could be worse. you could have gotten nothing.” I looked again at the sheet in disbelief, and said, ”just what does all these question marks mean?”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Uncle perked up his non existent eyebrow, ”The question marks? That’s interesting. That could be nothing or could be everything. The gods sometimes give huge bonuses to some adventurers who are down in their luck. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones bucko. Maybe not. Anyway, don’t think to much about that for now. if you have a hidden skill it will reveal itself in due time. Probably nothing though.”

There was nothing special I could gleam for my stat sheet. That’s probably for the better to be honest. Last thing I need is some nonsense skill that would make my life a living hell.

SPECIAL SKILL:

THE NONSENSE SKILL: Every hit done by you will take away between 1-99999 hp. Generally always one though. Good luck lol

My hands started trembling a bit. This doesn’t sound any good. My face froze and uncle noticed, ”what is it son?” he asked, ”anything bad?”

“How much hp does a spider have?” I asked

“Well, I have never been to this world before, but…”he stopped for a second and wondered ,”I guess around 100-170 hp if they are between level 1-5?that’s the base average in most worlds.”

“What about rats?”

“Around 250-350 between level one and five.”

“What about boars?”

Every isekai world has boars especially on the first 10 levels. They are bound to appear."

“Around 450-650.”

“So uncle, supposing I had a skill that every hit would only take out 1 hp. I would need like 600 hits to kill a boar right?”

“What son? What in the heckle hells berry Michael harry are you on about? There is no skill like that. Kids these days and their ideas,” He puffed up and laughed and continued, ”but yeah son you would be right. At least your maths be good."

My hands started shaking even more, uncle asked, ”what is It son? Something in your skill tree? Let me see. Can’t be that bad”

It was that bad.

Uncle saw the stat sheet and gulped, ”well, you know…there is some ways to combat that. I think…”

Even the sea would not be enough for all the tears I want to cry right now. I am essentially useless ,and sure to die.

“Wait son ,no need to cry. Give them tears a shwack buckle. We have a few options .First, We think first .Second, we think again .Third we contemplate,” I looked at him and said,”you really have no idea how to solve right?” uncle looked at the stars and the sky where two suns could be seen.

“Nope” uncle said nonchalantly.

At least he is honest. Considering how screwed I am, I really need to find a party member. But how can I get one? I got no money or anything. Maybe I can team up with someone for a quest? If this world works like any isekai novel then I should still be able to obtain xp even thought I don’t fight right?

“Uncle, creating a party would allow me to get the same xp as my other party member even if I don’t kill, right?”

“Sonny, if them pink flamingos be any good at being honest, then yupptie yup it sure should work. That’s in the memo alright. Everything works just like a random isekai they said. Except for the “energy” system. Will explain that to you later. To tired right now. Oops, seems like Consuela is finally facing her cheating husband on the episode tonight. What a bone chilling, mind tripping, riveting episode it will be for sure! Be right back!”

In a microsecond my eyes were blackened by blinding white flash, and in the exact next microsecond the flash was gone. Uncle was also gone.

“Really?” I whispered.

So I can make no damage, my “guardian angel” doesn’t care ,and I have a miniscule chance of getting out. Great.I gotta be the luckiest man on planet earth right now. How can it get any worse?

Slash!

A thunder slashed the meadow and the white blue sky and the surrounding forest with the force of a titan, turning what was once heaven into a vision of despair. Rain started falling in stark speed. And like dark ominous dark knights, the wind now rode the land in oppressive steps.

And in less then 10 seconds I was completely wet.

“Just what I needed.” i whispered.